Wreck & Ruin

by Emma Slate

  “How old are you, Cheese?” I asked.

  “Twenty six.”

  “How’d you get to be so wise?”

  He smiled and looked down, appearing bashful. “Life’s too short, Mia, to live it for anyone else. Just remember that.”

  Nodding, I got up from the chair to head back inside. “You can come in, you know. Hang out, watch TV.”

  “Thanks.” He smiled, looking too boyish to be a biker. “But I’ve got my orders to stay outside.”

  “Well, I’ll leave you to it, then.”

  I had plans to leave him alone, but I wanted to take a shower before Joni showed up. And to do that, I needed someone to Saran wrap my cast. That had been Colt’s job. A sudden stab of loneliness at his absence caught me by surprise.

  With a sigh, I went into the kitchen and grabbed the supplies before heading back out onto the porch. “Will you help me?” I asked Cheese.

  “Sure.”

  While he wrapped my cast I asked, “So, how did you get the nickname Cheese?”

  “It’s not a nickname,” he corrected. “It’s a road name.”

  “Right. How did you get the road name Cheese?”

  “On the night of my initiation, the boys dared me to eat an entire block of cheddar cheese.”

  “That’s a weird form of hazing.”

  “It was all in good fun.”

  “Did you do it?” I asked in amusement.

  “Hell yeah, I did it.” He grinned. “The fuckers made fun of me all the next day because I didn’t leave the bathroom.”

  “Charming,” I said with a snort.

  Placing a final rubber band around my cast he said, “There ya go.”

  “Thanks. What’s your real name?”

  “Chester,” he said, his tone serious.

  Well, at least I understood why he went by Cheese.

  I headed back inside and took a fast shower. I was just pulling on a pair of new jeans and a red T-shirt when Joni arrived. With a smile, I offered her a cup of coffee, which she accepted.

  “You didn’t have to come over and entertain me,” I said, placing the half-and-half in front of her.

  “I know,” she said. “Though I have to say it’s not completely altruistic.”

  “You want to grill me, don’t you?”

  “Yep.”

  “Sister’s prerogative, I guess,” I said with a smile.

  “Definitely.” She tapped the rim of her coffee mug. “I’m just going to get down to it. Okay?”

  I nodded.

  “I think Colt wants to keep you.”

  “What’s that now?”

  “Keep you. Like, for good.”

  “You can’t keep a person. I’m not a sheep in a petting zoo. You don’t just—what are you even saying right now?”

  She took a sip of her coffee. “Let me give you a little insight to Colt, okay?”

  I nodded, my heart pounding in my ears.

  “He hasn’t been the same since our dad died. And that was nineteen years ago.”

  “He told me,” I said slowly. “About your dad’s death.”

  “Did he.” It sounded like a statement and not a question. “Well, that only confirms my suspicions. You got through his wall. Somehow, you did. In a short time, too. I’ve already seen him smile more, laugh more in two days than he has in years. And I know that’s because of you.”

  Her words made me uncomfortable.

  “I’ve never seen him behave this way around a woman.”

  “Am I supposed to be flattered by that?” I asked, trying to stem the flow of panic.

  “Yeah, you should be flattered. Because Colt has the biggest heart in the world, but he’s kept himself shut away.”

  “It’s only been a few days, Joni. You know that, right? I don’t think you can assume I’m responsible for Colt’s change.”

  “He told you about our dad’s death. Did he tell you about our parents? And how they met?”

  I nodded.

  “My dad knew my mother was the one the moment he laid eyes on her. And she had no qualms getting on the back of his bike and riding off into the sunset with him. Westons just know.”

  “Weston,” I repeated. “That’s your family name?”

  “Yes.”

  “What’s Colt’s real name?”

  “James.”

  James.

  “What about you?” I asked.

  “What about me what?”

  I smiled. “Who do you want to keep?”

  She sighed. “Zip.”

  “No.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Oh man. It all makes sense now. When I said he offered to let me stay in his home, you went all…”

  “Yeah, I went all…” She shook her head. “I knew he was doing it to get Colt’s goat and to make Colt stand up and say he wanted you to stay with him, but it still hit me hard.”

  “Why is there no you and Zip?”

  “Because he sees me as Colt’s younger sister.”

  “You are Colt’s younger sister.”

  She shook her head. “You don’t mess around with a club member’s family. Like, you don’t fuck their sisters or cousins or anything. Plus, Zip’s kind of a whore.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “A man whore. A big, fat, man whore. No, not a big fat one. A big, hot, tatted one.”

  “So he sleeps around,” I stated.

  “Yup. It should totally be a turn off. I know that. But damn. He’s so fucking hot and I want to keep him and make cute little biker babies. But he avoids me and I avoid him and we both pretend we don’t want to rip each other’s clothes off.”

  I laughed. “Plus, babies. What man isn’t terrified of a woman hungry for seed?”

  “Do you really have to put it that way? You make me sound like a desperate woman.”

  “Sorry.” I grinned.

  “What about you?”

  “What about me?”

  “Do you want to make cute little biker babies with my brother?”

  If I’d been drinking something I would’ve spit it out all over her. “You’re insane. I barely know him.”

  “Uh huh.”

  “I’m leaving town.”

  “Okay,” she said like she didn’t believe me.

  “I am.”

  She snorted into her coffee.

  “You’re cute,” she repeated, “but so oblivious.”

  There had been no word from Colt all afternoon. Not that I expected any word from him.

  Okay, that was a lie.

  I had hoped he would want to check in with me, see how my afternoon with Joni was going or ask if I was taking good care of Cheese.

  Joni cooked dinner and refused my help. She left early because she had a morning shift at the hospital. I waved goodbye from the porch and then turned to go back inside. Cheese was in the same spot. He hadn’t moved in hours except for one quick bathroom break.

  “Thanks, Cheese,” I said.

  “For what?”

  “For keeping watch. Sorry it’s so boring.”

  He flashed me a cute grin. “I’m glad it’s boring. It means you’re safe.”

  “Do you guys really expect trouble?”

  “Gotta be prepared for anything. The Iron Horsemen…”

  “What?” I demanded.

  He scratched his jaw with his thumb. “I shouldn’t say anything.”

  I held my tongue but kept my eyes on him. Cheese caved. “Rawlins scares the shit out of most grown men. And the ones who aren’t scared of him are just too stupid to know they should be. It’s good you’re here and we can look out for you.”

  A pang of emotion hit my throat. “Thanks.”

  I went back inside and settled onto the couch, the cell phone Colt had given me by my side. I kept glancing at it, willing it to buzz. Turning on the TV, I listened to some asinine show playing in the background as I picked up the cell. Debating all of five seconds, I scrolled through the three numbers in the phone and shot off a text to Colt.

>   Hey.

  As soon as I sent it, I wanted to take it back.

  “Darlin’,” a low voice whispered. “Mia, wake up.”

  “No,” I murmured, trying to sink deeper into the couch cushions.

  There was a sigh and then I felt arms moving underneath me. I was being lifted and carried, my face pressed against a warm chest and soft cotton. I snuggled into the embrace.

  “Ah, fuck.”

  “Stop saying that,” I said, refusing to open my eyes. I pretended it was a dream; in my dream, I could be vulnerable.

  When I was awake I’d have to ignore this thing between us.

  He set me down on the bed in the guest room and settled the comforter over me. I heard the faint sound of rain against the window.

  “Stay,” I whispered when I felt Colt begin to move away.

  “Mia,” he said, his voice dark, pleading.

  “Please,” I begged. I wiggled over to give him room. I heard the unbuckling of a belt and then the sound of jeans hitting the floor, and something heavy being set down on the nightstand. Colt climbed into bed next to me and pulled me into the wall of his chest. His body curled around mine as his lips brushed my ear.

  I let out a sigh. “I’m not catching feelings.”

  There was a soft rumble against my back as Colt’s hand wormed its way under my shirt and rested on my stomach. “Go to sleep, sweetheart.”

  The next morning I woke up alone and confused; there was no evidence of Colt having slept in bed next to me. I bit my lip when I thought of him pressed against me from behind. I’d never felt safer.

  After I got dressed in a pair of cut off shorts and a T-shirt, I headed downstairs, both dreading and hoping to see Colt. He was in the kitchen, dressed for the day and drinking a cup of coffee.

  His eyes roved over me, lingering on my legs. “Mornin’,” he drawled.

  “Morning,” I replied, heading to the coffeemaker and pouring myself a cup.

  “You’re a very…active sleeper.”

  His sensuous tone had my hand shaking, and I spilled the coffee I was pouring. I set the coffee pot back in its place and then grabbed the dishtowel hanging off the fridge to mop up the mess.

  I looked at him over my shoulder. “What does that mean?”

  Colt’s smile was slow. Hot. A rush of embarrassed desire flamed my cheeks, but I held his gaze. He didn’t lose his smile. I wanted to wipe it off his face. I dropped the dishrag and walked over to him. Just when I thought I was in control, Colt reached out to grasp my hips, hauling me toward him. He settled me onto his lap and then his hand was holding the back of my neck. His brown eyes looked liquid.

  “Joni gave me some interesting insight about you,” I said.

  “Oh yeah?”

  I nodded. “She said something about you wanting to keep me.”

  “What if I do?”

  “What changed?”

  “You get one life. One life to be free, to choose how you live. You want to leave town? I’ll make sure you can do that—and not have Dev on your ass. No use leaving town if you have to keep looking over your shoulder and feel like you’re on the run. But I’ve also been doing some thinking,” he admitted. “Ever since I walked into Dive Bar and kissed you. It was like I’d been surviving this whole time, but not really living.” He stared at me with deep brown eyes. “You get what I mean, yeah?”

  I nodded. I knew what it was like to float from one moment to the next. Not really sad, but not happy either. Just…there.

  “Each day we’re one step closer to the end. Don’t want to die and wish I’d really lived.”

  I was drugged by his words. A spectator weighing in might think we didn’t know each other at all, that because of circumstances, I’d turned to him in an hour of need. But maybe Colt needed me too. Maybe we needed each other and it didn’t matter what it looked like on the outside.

  We were close enough that I could smell the coffee and mint toothpaste on his breath. My tongue darted out to touch my lips and I swore his eyes darkened.

  I went in for the kill. Our mouths met in ferocious hunger and our tongues fought each other for dominance. Colt’s hand on the back of my neck tightened and I leaned into him, ready for more, ready for it on the kitchen table.

  A phone rang. Colt’s lips tore from mine, his face wreathed in annoyance at our thwarted lust.

  “Fuck, why does this always happen?” He shifted me on his lap so he could get to the cell in his pocket and answered it. “Yeah?”

  When I made a move to get up, he stopped me.

  “Yeah, okay. Be right there.” He hung up and set his phone on the kitchen table. “I gotta go.”

  “Okay.”

  We stared at each other and then our lips were meshing. “I really have to go,” Colt growled against my mouth even as he kissed me again.

  “I heard you,” I answered, tugging at his shirt, wanting to get to the skin beneath.

  He pulled back and grasped my hands to still their wandering. “Not like this.”

  “Not like what?” I demanded. “Every time I decide I want to have sex with you, we get interrupted.”

  He didn’t smile from my jest. “If all I wanted was sex, it would’ve happened by now.”

  “Well, that’s a bit arrogant, don’t you think?”

  Colt’s gaze dropped to my traitorous nipples, but said nothing.

  I rolled my eyes. “Fine.”

  “I want you, but not like this. Not when you’re still confused.”

  “Confused about what exactly?”

  “Confused about what it means when I take you to my bed. It’s gonna mean something, babe. And I’m not sure you’re ready for all that.”

  “What if I’m never ready?” I ventured to ask. Colt’s intensity scared me, but I valued his honesty.

  “Then you were never meant to be my woman.”

  With that pronouncement, Colt stalked from the kitchen, leaving me with a lukewarm cup of coffee.

  Chapter 9

  The next three days ironed out into a routine. I spent the daytime bored in Colt’s home while Cheese hung out on the porch, acting as a guard. At night, I slept alone, feeling restless and achy. Colt hadn’t made another move to sleep next to me and he hadn’t kissed me again. The man was a sensual battering ram and he’d gotten through my fortress walls. But that was exactly why he kept his distance.

  Colt wanted something real with me, something lasting. And he was giving me the opportunity to decide if I wanted to be in it for the long haul. I didn’t know if I would’ve chosen to be with Colt if my circumstances had been different. Even though I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him after we’d kissed at Dive Bar, I’d done nothing to seek him out of my own volition. I’d turned to him only because he’d proven to me that he was a protector of women.

  If I chose to be with Colt now, it meant risking an unknown future, my safety, and being pulled deeper into a lifestyle I didn’t understand.

  Rationally explaining all of that to my overworked libido wasn’t doing the trick.

  “Will you please, please, please take me to the garage with you?” I asked again, setting down the crust of my toast.

  “No,” Colt said for what had to be the hundredth time that morning.

  “I’m bored out of my skull.”

  “No, Mia,” Colt said, setting down his empty coffee cup. “It’s not safe yet.”

  “It might never be safe. You can’t keep me locked up here.”

  He grinned. “Sure I can.”

  “Colt, seriously.”

  “Dev went underground,” he said. “That’s a bad enough sign already. Men like that don’t go underground unless someone very dangerous is after them, and there’s still a prospect at your house, so we know Dev hasn’t forgotten about you. This is serious shit, Mia.”

  A chill of fear skated down my spine and I was grateful that I had a safe place. “I’m okay lying low, but can’t I hang out at the clubhouse or something? I’m going crazy with the lack of e
ntertainment.”

  Colt’s face morphed into a ferocious scowl. “I don’t want you at the clubhouse without me.”

  “What do you think will happen?” I asked.

  “I won’t leave you alone at the clubhouse until you tell me you’re mine.”

  “Seriously?”

  “My brothers are good guys, but if you’re unclaimed, then you’re fair game. Rules are rules.”

  “I’m sorry, did we suddenly time travel back to the eighteenth century?”

  “It’s just the way of things, Mia. You’re not a club whore. But you’re not an Old Lady either.”

  “So yet again, I’m being punished for not making a decision.”

  “How else are you being punished? I invited you into my home. I promised to get you out of town. Fuck, woman, I’ve even cooked for you. What else do you want from me?”

  “You’re using sex as a weapon!” I yelled. “You haven’t been here the last three days, and all I do is sit here and stew.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me. Sex as a weapon?” He grabbed my hand and placed it at the fly of his jeans. “You don’t think I’m suffering, here?”

  “You’re the one who put this stupid edict in place,” I reminded him.

  “You still don’t get it.” He shook his head. “I’ll give you raw and dirty so good that you’ll never want to leave and then you’ll be stuck in this life you didn’t want to live, all because you couldn’t keep your legs together. Trust me, darlin’. I’m doing you a massive favor.”

  “No,” I stated, yanking my hand away from him. “All you’re doing is treating me like a child who doesn’t know her own mind and body. I want to be in your bed. So why won’t you let me?”

  He stilled and clamped his jaw shut.

  “You think I’ll still want to leave,” I said slowly. “You think if it’s only sex, I’ll leave. You don’t want me to leave you…”

  Something dark moved in his eyes and my heart cracked open in understanding.

  “You’ve had enough of people leaving you, haven’t you, Colt?”

  He didn’t answer my rhetorical question.

  But he was correct, I wasn’t ready to commit to him or to this life—and it had nothing to do with time and how long I’d known him. I was still unsure.