Forever Friend Zoned

by C. Morgan

  “It was an accident his face fell on yours and his lips touched yours? What kind of fall was this? Tell me because I want to accidentally fall on a hot man’s face.”

  “He got really upset with the jackasses that were laughing at me. You know how guys can get. They get all roided out and want to beat something up. They have all that adrenaline and they either fight or fuck.”

  “Alora!” she gasped. “That is very bold and crass and very unlike you.”

  I shrugged a shoulder. “It’s true. I’m tired of being a goody two shoes. It hasn’t served me well. He kissed me because he was on an adrenaline high. That was it. We went back to the gym without another word.”

  “I cannot believe you kissed him.”

  “He kissed me.”

  “You kissed the hottest dude at the gym!”

  “And I regret it as much as he does.”

  “Bullshit. I see that little twinkle in your eyes. How was it?”

  I slid the baking pan into the oven and closed the door. I had no idea how to work the timer and decided to use my phone timer. “It was good but that doesn’t matter because it will never happen again.”

  “You are so full of shit. It will happen again. You damn well better make sure it happens again.”

  I sighed and shook my head. “It will complicate things. Besides, he is really far out of my league. I just hope I can look him in the eye again. I am so damn embarrassed.”

  “Don’t be embarrassed. He kissed you. I told you he had the hots for you. You are not blind. You saw the way he looked at you.”

  “Maybe he was looking at me like that because I was lusting after him. He is a man after all. He picked up on it and thought he’d see if I was worth his trouble.”

  She was smiling and shaking her head. “You’ve got a crush and he likes you back,” she sang the words.

  “I should have never told you.”

  “But you did.”

  Chapter 19

  Jeff

  I got home and thought about spending the evening sulking and kicking myself in the ass for what I did. And then I decided I was not the only one responsible for this mess I found myself in. I was going to blame ERock. Granted, I knew it wasn’t his fault, but he was the only guy I had to talk to here in Buckeye.

  I wasn’t making a lot of friends, which wasn’t a big surprise to me. I couldn’t really count ERock as a friend, considering I was paying him, but he was the closest thing I had. We used to be friends a long time ago. I was hoping to tap into that old connection. Thankfully, he agreed to meet me at a local bar. It was near enough that I could walk to it from my condo.

  I sat down at a table and waited for him. I sipped a beer and did a little people-watching. When ERock sat down, he had his usual smile on his face. I wondered what it was like to smile that much. It would have to get old.

  “How are you doing?” he asked. “I was wondering if you were done with my services.”

  “I’ve been busy.” It was a lie. I wasn’t any busier now than I had been when I sought out his help.

  “How are things going?”

  “Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I don’t think this is working.”

  “What isn’t working?”

  “I appreciate your advice, but I don’t think it is helping. I think it might be making things worse.”

  “How so?”

  “I kissed her today.”

  “You kissed Alora?”

  “Yes. While I was in official capacity.”

  “Official capacity? That sounds very professional.”

  “You know what I mean. We were in a training session. I can’t kiss my clients.”

  He was smiling and looking rather proud. “Good for you!”

  I was confused. I shook my head. “What are you talking about? You told me to keep it in the friend zone and now you are applauding the fact I kissed her. What the hell?”

  “It was a test.”

  “Test of what?”

  “I wanted to see if you wanted her badly enough to push through.”

  I shook my head. “Push through what? What are you talking about? You said I needed to be friends with her first.”

  “Yes, but you couldn’t resist her. You were determined to have her. You pushed through the rejection and the feelings that came with that rejection and kissed her anyway. You put yourself on the line. I think that proves you are ready to make it real.”

  “You wanted me to kiss her?” I asked with obvious confusion.

  “I wanted you to do what you felt was right. I told you to just be friends with her. You couldn’t resist.”

  “Dude, to be honest, that’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. Am I actually supposed to pay you for that advice?”

  He laughed, clearly not bothered. “When you think about it, you’ll understand. You want her. Did she kiss you back?”

  I had not even let myself think about the kiss. It was dangerous territory. I put it at the back of my mind and busted ass at the gym. “Yes.”

  He grinned. “So the feelings were reciprocated?”

  “I don’t know about that. I didn’t really give her a lot of opportunity to tell me she didn’t want the kiss.”

  “If I remember Alora the way I think I do, you would have known she didn’t want the kiss.”

  “Maybe, but I don’t understand your little game. It was a bit risky.”

  “Nah, I had faith in you. I knew you were still carrying a torch for her. I guess I’m a romantic at heart. I like to see people get happy endings.”

  “I think you might be jumping the gun a bit. We are nowhere near a happy ending. She doesn’t even know who I am.”

  “You’re right. Now would be a really good time to tell her who you are. She liked you then. It isn’t like she is going to shut you down because of who you are. She fell for you because of who you are now. The past history between you should help the relationship.”

  “Or she is going to remember me for who I was and where I came from and kick me to the curb,” I replied.

  “She was never that pretentious.”

  “Her parents sure the hell are, and from what I understand, she lives with them. Her daddy is still looking out for her. He would never allow her to date a guy like me. This whole thing is an exercise in futility. I’m getting my hopes up for nothing.”

  “You won’t know unless you try.”

  “And then I get my heart smashed again.”

  “Heartache is part of life. You learn from it and grow from it. You keep moving forward.”

  I took a drink from the glass. “Time marches on.”

  “Things will work out. Just have faith. You’ve waited this long. It wouldn’t hurt to wait a little longer.”

  That was easy for him to say. His heart wasn’t going to be smashed and pummeled. “Thanks.”

  When I got home, I wasn’t feeling all that much better about things. I was torn. I wanted her but I didn’t like the fact she didn’t know who I was. I wasn’t rich. I wasn’t poor, but I wasn’t wealthy. I could never give her the lifestyle she was used to. Her father would know that. He would insist she stay away from me.

  I went to bed with a lot on my mind. I had to tell her who I was. It wasn’t really a big deal. We were old friends. I could pretend I didn’t recognize her. You know, because Alora was such a common name. I closed my eyes, and like I normally did, I ran through the various scenarios.

  “Hi, can we talk?” I say as I walk up to her at the juice bar.

  “Sure,” she says and pats the chair.

  I sit down and give her my best smile. “Do you remember a guy named Jefferson from junior high?”

  She’ll get a funny look on her face. “Oh my god, yes. He was such a dork. He had a total crush on me. As if I would ever go out with someone like him. He was a total loser. He was overweight and had the worst acne. Why? Do you know him?”

  I grimaced and shook my head. That was the most likely scenario in my opinion. To be fa
ir, I ran through a few more.

  “Hi, Alora, I was wondering if you had a minute to talk?”

  “Sure, what’s up?”

  “I just realized I know you.”

  “You know me?” she repeats. “Obviously you know me. We’ve been training together for over a month.”

  “No, I know you from junior high.”

  She’ll give me a funny look, her nose all squished up. “Are you sure? I thought you were from Texas.”

  “I lived here before I moved. I’m Jefferson. Jefferson Lakewood.”

  Her eyes would grow big as saucers. “Oh my god! You’ve changed!”

  I smile, proud to be noticed. “Thanks. You look just the same. I’m so glad you remember me.”

  She’ll pull away. “Oh, I remember you all right. You were weird back then.”

  “Am I weird now?”

  “I think you’ve known who I am for a while. Is that why you wanted to train me? Are you stalking me? I’m going to report this and I will not be training with you anymore.”

  “Yeah, just what I need, to have the cops knocking on my door,” I muttered.

  I rolled to my left side and conjured up another potential scenario.

  “Hey, can we talk for a minute?” I would ask her at the end of a session.

  “Sure, what’s up?”

  “I ran into one of our old friends the other day.”

  She would get this crazy confused look on her face. “One of our friends?”

  “Yes, do you remember ERock?”

  “Yeah, how do you know him?”

  “We went to school with him.”

  This is where she gets weirded out. “We? As in you and I? Are you saying we went to school together?”

  “Yes, junior high. You don’t remember me?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Jefferson,” I’ll say. “We went to see Twilight together.”

  Her face will fall. She’ll lean away and get an icky expression on her face. “Jefferson!”

  “Yes.”

  “Oh. Uh, wow. I didn’t recognize you.”

  This could go either way. I smile and be glad or I smile to hide the pain of being so unimportant in her life. “It’s me. You look just as pretty as I remember.”

  “I didn’t know you were back. I honestly didn’t recognize you. It’s been a long time.”

  “It sure has.”

  The look on her face is one of disgust and discomfort. “I should go. Maybe I’ll see you around.”

  “We could grab a drink and catch up.”

  “Um, yeah, I’m busy. I have to take care of laundry and stuff.”

  It was a step above the excuse of having to wash her hair at least, but she didn’t want anything to do with me.

  My run-through of the scenarios wasn’t going well. No matter which way I cut it, she was going to reject me. The thought made me physically ill. I broke out in a cold sweat. My heart was beating too fast. It was crazy to have such a visceral response to an imagined rejection.

  As it turned out, I did have a very healthy fear of rejection. I was terrified of it.

  I didn’t know if I had it in me to bounce back again. I was a wimp. I wasn’t one of those guys that could take rejection and go right back at it. Burn me once and there was no way in hell I was going to touch anything hot again.

  I couldn’t tell her. There was no point in telling her right now. It wasn’t like we were dating. I wasn’t lying to her. She knew my name and she knew the current me. It didn’t matter who I was when I was a kid. It wasn’t like I was a criminal. I had nothing to hide. If she wanted to know who I was, we’d have that conversation.

  A single kiss did not make a relationship. I wanted to build on the kiss, though. I wanted to see if there was anything there. I sure as hell felt it. I wanted to do it right. No more abrupt kisses. I would slow it down. Lean into the friendship we were building.

  I wished there was some grand gesture I could do to make her fall head over heels for me. I considered taking a glitter bath and ripping off my shirt in the sunlight. She’d fall for me, her sparkly trainer. I personally knew she loved the sparkly guys. I would happily bite her neck if that was what it took to win her over.

  I rolled over, trying to force myself to go to sleep. I was losing a lot of sleep these days. I needed to figure out a way to balance my want for her with what I could truly have. No matter how far I had come, Alora was in a different league. Our training sessions were just that. She wasn’t coming to the gym to see me. She was coming to the gym and paying me for my services.

  It was probably best if I kept things professional.

  Chapter 20

  Alora

  I got out of bed before nine, which was pretty impressive. I was slowly getting back into a normal person’s groove. No more twelve-hour sleeps. I was very slowly coming back to the land of the living. I was beginning to regret the time I spent in a depressive state.

  After Todd’s betrayal, I gave up on life. I gave up on being happy. I gave up on me.

  I didn’t want to give all the credit to Jeff, but it wasn’t just him that turned my life around. Bunny, as much as I hated to admit it, had helped as well. And of course, Sue. Hell, even my parents deserved some credit for getting my ass up and out of the house.

  I walked downstairs and wandered through the living room. The house was eerily quiet. I ran into a housekeeper coming out of my father’s office. “Is he in there?” I asked her.

  “No. They left early this morning to go on a day trip.”

  “Oh. No one is here?”

  “I’m here,” she said with a laugh.

  “Sorry, yes. All right, well, I’m going to get some breakfast.”

  I was really getting excited about this being home alone thing. It was a sign I needed to get my own place. Before I could do that, I needed to get a job. I didn’t want to mooch off my parents. I needed to stand on my own two feet.

  “And that starts now,” I said and pulled open the fridge. I was going to make myself a healthy breakfast. I pulled out the eggs and grabbed one of the avocadoes I picked up at the farmers’ market.

  I experimented a little, remembering a bit of what Bunny said. When I sat down to eat it, I made some mental notes about what I would change for future breakfasts. After making my morning protein shake, I was feeling energetic. I wanted to keep up my momentum and decided to go to the gym. I didn’t need a trainer. I just wanted to get in some time on my own.

  I changed into my workout gear and tossed in a bathing suit in case the pool was relatively empty. I didn’t want to go swimming with the professionals that had been making good use of the pool. I just wanted to burn some calories while feeling weightless.

  When I got to the gym, I was thrilled to discover it was relatively empty. I went into the locker room and felt a little nervous about putting on the bathing suit and being seen in public. I was feeling better about my body, but I wasn’t going to be Bunny’s size anytime soon.

  I had weighed myself once since I started this journey. It had been a very disappointing experience. Sue tried to pump me up and told me it wasn’t the scale that counted but the jeans. Now that I was wearing my bathing suit, I realized my hard work was paying off. Things did fit a little better.

  I turned left and right as I looked at myself in the mirror. It inspired me to work harder. I was doing it. I was really doing it. I was thrilled with the idea.

  I headed out to the pool area and quickly jumped in before anyone else came in and saw me in my suit. The water felt amazing. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been swimming. I had not even used the pool at home since I had been back. I was ashamed of the way I looked and felt and couldn’t bring myself to get into a suit.

  I started swimming laps, pushing myself to go faster. I lost count of how many laps I did. When my arms and legs started to feel weak, I rolled to my back and gave myself a break. I enjoyed a leisurely float as my heartrate came down.

  I didn’t have to co
me to the gym to swim, I realized. I could swim anytime I wanted. I could go for a swim twice a day. That was twice the amount of calories. The more calories I burned, the more I could eat, or I could skip the food and lose more weight. It was glorious to know I had options.

  I heard a noise and turned to see a figure near the edge of the pool. I looked closer and saw it was Jeff. I almost sank. I pretended not to see him and he tried the same for me but my quiet time in the pool was over. I rolled over and began to swim toward the ladder. There was no more pretending we didn’t see each other.

  He was carrying an armload of floaties to the side of the pool. “Hi,” he said.

  “Hi,” I said. I was suddenly very aware I was almost naked. I held on to the ladder with one hand and tried to reach the towel I left on the edge of the pool. I stretched too far and stumbled. Jeff was right there to grab my arm and keep me from falling flat on my face. “Thanks.”

  He pulled me up, his hand still on my arm. I looked up and found him staring down at me. I could see the hunger in his eyes. I felt the same hunger.

  There was a moment. A hesitation. And then there was fire. We skipped the spark and went right for the flame. He grabbed the back of my neck and slammed his mouth over mine. He was kissing me again and my heart was singing.

  I felt him pulling me away from the pool. One arm wrapped around me and pulled me close to him. I could feel his shirt getting wet as he pressed against my wet body. He never broke contact with my lips as we moved. I didn’t open my eyes to see where we were going. I trusted him.

  “In here,” he whispered against my lips before closing the door behind us.

  I looked around and realized we were in an equipment room. There were pool noodles and life jackets on a shelf. The room was cramped and dark with the door closed, save for a single security light casting a little light near the floor.

  He kissed me again. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on. He was about six inches taller than I was, forcing me to practically hang off of him. I could feel his hard chest and wanted to get closer to him. I hooked a leg around his leg and pushed my body against his.