Faking Reality

by Sara Fujimura

  Jordan pans over to the table Mom is gesturing at. It is covered with everything from an iPhone to a Coach bag to palettes of designer-brand makeup to a pair of front-row concert tickets in a protective plastic box, and more over-the-top, excessive, embarrassing, overkill prizes. Some of this swag came from sponsors, but I also suspect that “Uncle Doug” had a hand in it. From the conspiratorial look on Leo’s face, I have to wonder if Leo was Head Elf in Charge on this project too.

  “That is definitely … something.” Before anybody can stop me, I snatch the wristbands off Mom’s palm. “I can’t wait to give these out.”

  Phil emphatically shakes his head no, while Jordan chases after me.

  “One for you. One for you. One for you.” I hand them out to my JCC peeps. I’m sure these weren’t the people Phil already handpicked. Undoubtedly, he chose people from my school who look like they model for Seventeen in their spare time. I’m choosing the people who chose me, even when they didn’t have to. Even when I ruined their Homecoming last year with my wardrobe malfunction. Even when I am weird or extra or just awkward.

  “One for my VIP, Nevaeh. And one for my best friend, Leo.” I wish I could say that I’m mature enough to immediately put a gold wristband on Lindsay too. But I’m not.

  After a telling pause, I add, “And one for Lindsay. Thank you for helping my best friend take a step forward this year.”

  Okay, nobody else in America knows what I’m talking about, but Leo does. He nods. Message received.

  “And we’re out.” Phil snatches the rest of the wristbands from my hand. “I didn’t say you could give those out.”

  I hold up my index finger. “Nor did you tell me I couldn’t.”

  Phil lets out an exasperated sigh. “We’re going to let the rest of the partygoers inside. Stay close to the ballroom doors so we can do another live spot in fourteen minutes.”

  “Gotcha.” After Phil leaves, I turn back to Leo and Lindsay. “If you guys want to have a moment, I don’t need Leo for another ten minutes or so. Give me your mic, though. And keep things PG, because cameras are always rolling whether you see them or not. Sorry. That’s the downside of being my friend.”

  A conflicted wrinkle forms between Leo’s eyebrows, but he hands me his mic. When Lindsay reaches out for his hand though, Leo crosses his arms.

  * * *

  As ordered, I stand near the door next to the gift table. Your presence is your gift was printed at the bottom of my invitations, but Phil insisted that we include a piece of paper that clearly stated a gift wasn’t necessary; however, a donation to the Raising Hope Women and Children’s Shelter would gratefully be accepted. I know it’s a ploy to downplay the criticism we are rightfully going to receive after all the excessiveness from tonight leaks out, but if it helps Raising Hope buy the new cribs they desperately need, I’ll take one for the team.

  I thank people as they drop off envelopes into a locked, gilded cage. I greet the people I actually know by name, duck a few hugs, and give head nods to people I’m not sure even go to my school. It wouldn’t surprise me if the tabloids sent a few moles to dig around for a hot scoop. I push on the bodice of my dress to check that it’s secure.

  Exactly ten minutes later, Leo arrives. Solo.

  “You and Lindsay okay?” I mouth at Leo. He shakes his head. “Are you okay?”

  Leo shrugs and puts his hand out for the mic. His hands vibrate as he reattaches the mic behind his boutonniere.

  “Oh, wow. Ugh.” I say when a collective laugh goes up in the ballroom. On the large screen above the stage is a picture of me in pigtails wearing kid-sized, bedazzled safety glasses, and wielding a hammer mid-strike.

  “I remember that girl.” Leo steps in closer to me. “She’s the one who seconded my baka idea to build a tree house in my backyard even after her dad—who is a professional builder, mind you—said mimosa trees were not strong enough for tree houses. Yeah, should’ve listened to Mr. Doug on that one.”

  As if on cue, the next picture is a same-age version of Dakota, only with a cast on her arm and holding Leo’s stuffed cow, Mr. Ushi. If you know where to look, you can see the I’m sorry. ~Leo written near my wrist.

  The crowd has another laugh as a picture of me in Japan wearing a yukata comes up. There are a series of photos, including someone handing me a squid-on-a-stick and my genuine reaction to it.

  Leo leans into me. “We are definitely going to have a redo on that one in July.”

  My stomach tightens. If Ojiichan ends up in the hospital tonight, Leo is not going to Japan with me. His final payment to Iwate-sensei due next Friday would go to his family instead.

  “We go live in thirty seconds.” Phil suddenly pops up behind us. “You will walk straight through the crowd, greeting your adoring fans, of course, but do not stop. Take the stage. Do your thanks. Tamlyn will insist that you come outside … blah blah blah. If you could somehow find some emotions, that would make my night.”

  “How about I do-si-do around the car?” The surprise is only going to be a surprise to the people watching at home, because I may have bragged shamelessly about my new car in Japanese class once or twice or thirty times already.

  “Absolutely not.”

  “How about a dab? Too dated?”

  “No.”

  “How about … Kawaii desu ne!” I cup my chin in a V between my hands.

  “No.”

  “Leo and I could do a chest bump.”

  Phil rakes a hand through his hair. “This is going to be a disaster.”

  Leo takes a deep breath and offers me his arm. Somehow, we make it to the stage without either of us slipping, tripping, or passing out. All of my body parts—including my stunt hair—stay put. When we get to the stage’s steps, Leo pulls up short. His eyes are as big as saucers. Beads of sweat dot his brow.

  “Thank you, Prince Charming.” I remove my arm from Leo’s. “I’ll take it from here.”

  People will undoubtedly criticize me later for hogging the spotlight, but what I see—and what the reality is—is that my best friend may pass out if I keep pushing him. Instead, I play into my role and do a royal wave as I climb the few stairs up onto the stage.

  I look out at the audience. This is it. This is the end of the McDonalds’ Alternate Universe. This is me closing the door on the last sixteen years of my life, and opening a whole new one as Dakota McDonald, average teenager and future industrial designer/functional artist. I find Nevaeh in the front row. They give me a nod.

  “Thank you, everybody, for being here tonight.” I look down at the JCC members huddled around the front of the stage next to Nevaeh. “Thanks to those of you who have always accepted me for who I am.” The collision of High School Dakota with DIY Princess Dakota is jarring, but I look directly into the camera as I was coached to do. “And a big thanks to all our viewers at home for tuning in for one last trip down memory lane with us. You’ve been with me since literally my birth and watched me grow up. Tonight, HGTV wanted to send me off with a bang.…”

  Cue Mom.

  “Wait, wait.” A spotlight follows Mom as she swishes to the middle of the stage in her retro Hollywood starlet gown. “I know you want to get back to your friends, Dakota, but before you do, your dad and I have a special gift for you.” Mom looks directly into the camera. “But it requires that you come outside.”

  The crowd hoots as I follow Mom off the other side of the stage. I’m sure Leo was supposed to come with us, but he still has a death grip on the handrail at the other side of the stage. I see Nevaeh out the corner of my eye heading toward Leo. Situation handled.

  When Mom and I get to the doors with the curtains drawn across them, I have my next line.

  “Where’s Dad?”

  Mom nods at the hotel employees who rip open the curtains, while employees on the other side open up the giant sliding doors. There it is—my customized, retro-inspired, cherry-red Ford Mustang convertible. My gasp is authentic. Leaning into his nickname, Dad sits in the driver’s seat
wearing a Santa hat and sunglasses.

  “Hot dam! It looks like Santa came early this year,” Dad says, and the tiara-wearing beaver makes another appearance on the TV screen.

  “This car is sick.” I deliver my line with complete sincerity.

  Dad slides out and holds the car door open for me. “For America’s DIY Princess.”

  I hope Jordan doesn’t pan to the audience right now. Quite a few people are rolling their eyes. I probably would too in their shoes.

  I tuck my skirts around me and slide across the leather seat. My bedazzled fingertips skim across the retro-style dashboard and caress the state-of-the-art sound system. The passenger door suddenly opens.

  “This car is sick.” Leo slides in next to me. He’s still pinkish, but The Full Dimple Smile is genuine. “I’m thinkin’ … You. Me. Road trip?”

  “Yeah, not so fast. Safety first, kids.” America marks another bingo square, as Dad holds up the car keys. “Dakota has to finish Drivers Ed first. And you two on a road trip together?” Dad crosses his arms. “I don’t think so, bud.”

  “Daaaaad.” I play the role of a spoiled princess to perfection.

  But also, just watch me. After I have a lot more practice driving on the interstate, then we’ll take “Lightning” on a road trip. Maybe to San Diego for Comic Con? Or Los Angeles for the Kitsune Mask movie premiere one day? Baby steps. I look over at Leo. We are so there.

  “And we’re out,” Phil says. “Thanks, everybody. Please go back inside and enjoy the party. Dakota, seventeen minutes.”

  Though most of the crowd goes back inside, a few members of the JCC stick around. Nevaeh sprawls across the hood of my car like a supermodel while Jax takes their picture.

  “Anybody seen Aurora?” Leo checks his phone. “She should have been here by now.”

  “She’s probably inside.” Nevaeh slides off the hood of the car and adjusts their tiara. “You guys take a breather. I’ll find Aurora. C’mon, Jax.”

  “Too bad Mr. Doug took the keys with him,” Leo says when we are alone. “We could have taken this sweet ride for a spin around the parking lot.”

  “I don’t have a full license yet.”

  “Yeah, but I do.” Leo waggles his eyebrows.

  “So, for real, you want to go on a road trip with me sometime?”

  “Uh. Yeah. Like you have to ask me that. How about San Diego the summer before senior year?” Leo throws his hands up in the air with double “fox fingers” and whoops. “Comic Con, here we come!”

  The McDonalds’ Alternate Universe might be ending tonight, but I can still see into the future. Leo and I flying across the desert with the top down and our matching, limited-edition Kitsune Mask T-shirts on. Me, sweet-talking event organizers into gifting us special passes for the Kitsune Mask preview screening. Leo fanboying all over Ava Takahashi as she signs his T-shirt. Leo and I smacking each other with two of the pillows from the mountain of decorative ones in our hotel room. Leo and I. Together.

  I can practically hear the squeaking-brake sound effect as all the wheels fall off my fantasy. Okay, so there are some major stumbling blocks with this plan. But we’re the Dynamic Duo. We can make anything happen.

  The party goes on inside without us. Even the hotel staff doesn’t realize we are still sitting out here, because they turn off the lights. It’s not exactly dark because of all the ground lights, but we can see the stars in the inky-blue, early-May sky. It would be kind of a romantic moment if Leo’s girlfriend wasn’t waiting for him inside.

  “Are you okay, Leo?” I put out my hand to stop his answer. I dig my mic out of my bodice, and we throw both of them in the glove compartment before continuing. “I mean about everything. The party. Your anxiety. Lindsay.”

  “So-so, so-so, and…” Leo sighs. “One step forward. Two steps back.”

  “Is it because of me, Lindsay’s parents, or the restaurant?”

  “All of the above.”

  Not only do the wheels fall off my road trip fantasy, but the whole idea disintegrates into dust and blows away. I take a deep breath and pull on my armor so I can do what I have to do.

  “Tell Lindsay that after tonight, I’ll get out of her way. Like, eat lunch at a different table, move to a different seat in Japanese class, and start watching Kitsune Mask by myself. I will completely disappear so that you two can get on with your life together without me always butting in and making things weird and complicated.”

  “What if I don’t want you to disappear again?” Leo looks up at the stars in the cloudless sky. “Yeah, we needed some personal space earlier this year to figure things out. To experiment solo a little bit. But now I want us to come back together like we always do. Like I always want us to.”

  “You wanna go play Spider-Man and Spider-Gwen on the monkey bars with me?” I pretend to shoot webs out of my wrists.

  I laugh, but Leo doesn’t. A serious look crosses his face.

  “Koty, there’s something that’s been digging at me. Honestly, for a while now.”

  We sit in silence for several more heartbeats until I can’t help myself. “What, Leo, what?”

  “Alex, Lindsay, and even Nevaeh keep seeing us as a couple. The first two, I can chalk up to jealousy, but Nevaeh?” Leo turns in his seat and gives me a probing look. “Am I missing something?”

  I’m scared to answer that question truthfully, so I deflect. I blow on my bedazzled nails and buff them on my designer gown. “Yes, you are.”

  “I’m serious, Dakota.” Leo puts his hand on my arm. “Could I do something as an experiment? Something that will answer the question for me once and for all?”

  “Yes, you can kiss me, if that’s what you are asking.” My insides tighten, fearing that I’m wrong. Again. “I hope that’s what you were asking, or this night just got even more awkward. And that’s saying a lot.”

  “Really?” Leo squeaks and then clears his throat. “I thought maybe that boat had sailed, since, you know, Alex and all.”

  “Nope. Unfortunately, it’s always been there. Whether I wanted it to be or not.”

  “So, to make sure that I heard you correctly. Before I potentially ruin our friendship for good, I could kiss you right now, and you wouldn’t knock my left front tooth out.”

  “Leo.”

  “Yes?”

  “Stop. Talking.”

  Leo and I lean in at the same time. We both tip our head to the same side. And then both course-correct to the other side. Always a pair. Always in tandem. Leo’s warm fingertips rest on my cheek and gently guide my head to the right as his head tips the other way. I don’t want to close my eyes. I’m afraid that the sparks I’m feeling—the ones currently sending electrical bursts to the pit of my belly—will disappear. I’m afraid that after the test concludes, Leo won’t feel the same way I do. I’m afraid that I will spend the rest of my life knowing exactly what I’m missing.

  As soon as Leo’s warm, soft lips meet mine, I know the risk is worth it. No matter what happens next, I will always remember this birthday kiss. It will be the measuring stick for all future kisses. One tentative press of Leo’s lips against mine turns into a second kiss, and then a third. Each one becomes braver and bolder. I kiss Leo back with all the pent-up energy I’ve been carrying around since last summer. Since Tanabata. Since living inside of Leo’s Friend Zone became unbearable. This was never on Stephanie’s hundred-point party planning list. There is no plan B if Leo shatters my heart tonight. I can’t bear to hear his truth if it doesn’t match mine. I can’t live without my best friend. I also can’t live with only being Leo’s friend.

  When the memory is burned into my mind for forever, I lean away. Leo pulls me back.

  “Liar!” Lindsay’s voice cuts through me like sharp glass. “Both of you! Liars through and through. You say one thing and then turn around and do another. Over and over and over. I am so done.”

  “Lindsay, it’s not—” I stop because, yes, it is exactly what she thinks it is. I slump back in my seat. “S
houldn’t you go after her?”

  “Why? She’s the one who broke up with me. Twice,” Leo says, but his hand is on the door handle. “I don’t want to hurt Lindsay. I don’t want to hurt anybody.”

  “I see.” I guess the experiment is over then.

  “Hey, you two.” Stephanie comes up behind the car. “Your mics are malfunctioning. Phil says he can’t hear you at all.”

  I lean over and remove the mics from the glove compartment.

  “Can you hear me now?” I say into mine before burying it in my bodice again.

  Stephanie, doing her best secret service impression, puts a finger on the earpiece in her left ear. “Yes, he can. And he says you are on in less than two minutes. So, let’s go.”

  Leo and I scramble out of the car. Stephanie grabs Leo’s arm as he passes in front of her. After shining her cellphone’s light in Leo’s face, Stephanie digs around in the Magic Handbag and pulls out a baby wipe. She cleans the lipstick that has migrated off my lips onto Leo before giving him a little push toward the ballroom.

  “Dakota. Here. Now.” Stephanie digs in her handbag and pulls out a tube of lipstick. A sly smile pulls across Stephanie’s face as she touches up my still-tingling lips. “Try to keep this on your lips, okay?” When I start to leave, she adds, “And, I’m sorry about Lindsay. Phil wouldn’t listen to me.”

  Farther behind Stephanie, I see Jordan the Camera Op. He drops his head and goes in a side door.

  “How much of that did Phil get?”

  Stephanie lets out a sigh. “More than you would probably like, even if the audio was bad on it.”

  They turned off the lights on purpose. Phil wanted a spark. A fire races through my veins. Phil set me up and I fell for it—hook, line, and sinker.

  Chapter

  31

  This time when Leo and I enter the ballroom holding hands, things feel the same and yet totally different. Stephanie follows a few steps behind us. The auxiliary light in my face lets me know we’re live again. The results of the experiment will have to wait a little longer. If they come back negative, I’m going to ask for a redo. Preferably somewhere a little more conducive to our experiment. Like my room.