I wrapped my arms around his neck, “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head, “The coach wouldn’t let me back on the team, he came up with every excuse in the book to keep me out, he was terrified of gays. They were writing ‘faggot’ all over my locker, egging my car… My Mom and Dad fought hard but eventually, we just let it go.” He looked up at the ceiling and licked his lips, “And the very best part of this story is that Tim never made contact with me during my recovery. When I got better I found out Tim was fucking some girl…he denied ever being gay, ever having a relationship and never spoke to me again.”
I felt so ripped up inside hearing this, “Why?”
“He was scared. Scared to go through what I did. After high school, I had one very short term relationship with a guy, but he eventually cheated on me with some boy in our class. Said I was too stiff. I was in a serious relationship with another guy before you, he was great, but he uh, was living off me.”
I set my forehead to Adam’s, “Why didn’t you just tell me all this? Didn’t you stop to think I might understand better?”
He cradled me closer, “You’re different. Your love is so damn pure. I tried to be your friend when we met, but then I had feelings and my body responded to you, it still does. You’ve never hurt me, and that’s why I love you.”
I kissed his cheek, then his lips, “But you can’t just love me because I’m safe. You have to love me for a lot of other reasons too. Or are you just keeping me as a shield, from pain?”
He kissed me on the lips and like always he made me forget why I was upset. He laid me down on the bed and took me like he always does.
It was amazing, of course. It’s Adam. Adam only needs ten minutes and his hands on my body bring me where I want, but Chance’s words bounced in my head.
Adam didn’t hold my eyes while he drove into me. Even when I reached up and held his chin. He took my hand away and pinned me to the bed so he could drive us over. Eyes nowhere near mine.
And when he came, my name wasn’t on his lips.
ADAM
February brought winds and change. We were blending. New York was slowly becoming home. I came here to become successful but I also came to forget the old stuff. There is no room to grow in small towns. Even though becoming a popular song artist won the hearts of the people in Little Water, Colorado, I still had to see the same faces.
Now I’m free of it and the city is giving me some wing room.
I went to the bar in the club after closing. Chance was standing with his back to me, watching the game. He always looks catatonic when he watches football and it makes me laugh. My Dad does that.
“Who’s playing?” I asked.
He glanced over his shoulder at me, “The Giants.”
“You a fan?”
“Is the sky blue?”
We laughed and watched a second. “What about you?” he asked.
I shrugged, “I’m more of a hockey guy.”
I picked up a newspaper that was left behind. “What’s your birthday?” I asked him.
He frowned at me, “What?”
I held up the paper and tapped the center, “Trixie’s cousin, Jenzy, is a full believer in astrology. She reads these every day. I wanna see if it works.”
He moved his body around to see so both our heads were bent over the paper, and then he withdrew. “When’s yours?” He asked.
“April 15th. You always do that, you can’t always ask a question to counter a question.”
He smirked. “I don’t know. February. Sometime this month.”
I sat back, “Sometime this month?” I repeated.
“I think it’s the week of the tenth.” He looked back at the game while Zeus went by on his cell.
When we were alone again I pushed. “How do you not know what day?”
“My mother only celebrated for a couple years, then she said she don’t remember. I know it, I just don’t care. It’s just another day.” He went back to the game but his indifference didn’t set well with me.
I watched him and thought about what might have sculpted the man I see. The tats, the sharp-edged personality, the mistrust, and the prison time. What made him into all that? He grew up in the hood, so I guess that’s it, but like Trix, I want to know more.
“So you could be a Valentine’s baby,” I decided to lighten the mood.
He narrowed his eyes at me, “Maybe.”
I pushed my foot into the side of the bar to push my stool back on its legs, “That would explain a lot.”
“Chance,” Bianca came our way with a strained look on her face. She went behind the bar and whispered in his ear. Chance is still very private. He and Zeus and Bianca have a sort of trust built.
He looked to me, “Where’s Trix?”
I frowned, “She went home with the guys. Why?”
Bianca answered, “Because her twin just got in a car with Jax.”
I felt a sliver of panic, “When?”
“After her shift. I told her he was bad news.” She told me.
“Where would they go?” I asked them both.
Chance stayed calm but looked annoyed, “To a really shady hole in the wall joint.”
I stood up, “Well, where?”
Bianca shook her head, “You don’t wanna go there.”
I looked to Chance, “I don’t have a choice. She’s an idiot and she’ll hurt herself. If Trix finds out, she’ll flip.”
Bianca stared up at Chance, “You came got me outta there once. I still can’t really imagine if you hadn’t…”
I watched the silent talk between them.
“Just give me an address,” I begged.
Chance turned to see me, “You aren’t going. I am.”
I laughed bitterly, “I don’t need you to go, I can take care of myself.”
“Then you can come with me.” He left to get his coat and I put on mine. Bianca hates everyone but it looks like this is drumming up bad memories and that worries me for Jolee.
I called Trix but gave her a very watered down version of the truth. I told her Jolee lost her cell and needed a ride from uptown. That she’d gone to a party after work. That would make up the time and my absence without freaking her out.
“Leave your wallet and your cell here at the bar with Zeus,” Chance told me as he buttoned his coat.
“Why?”
Bianca pulled from her funk a little, “Because this is the ghetto, white boy.”
I smiled at her, “Chance is white...”
She rolled her eyes, “He been around, Boo. They don’t even see he’s white no more. If you two were in a box of crayons he would be ‘hood white’ and you are ‘uptown white’.”
Chance jerked his head to the emergency exit by the stage, “Move, let’s go.” He commanded.
I followed him and he led me to where a nice looking car was parked. He hit the clicker and unlocked it. Wow, it’s expensive looking. We got in together and then he was off, manipulating the traffic and taking dark streets.
“I can’t take my wallet but you can take your batmobile…” I said.
He cocked his brow. “They all know whose car this is. Nobody would even touch it if I left the keys in the ignition and the doors unlocked.”
“So what’s the deal between you and Jax?” I ventured.
He didn’t answer.
“Bianca said there’s bad blood.”
No answer.
“What is this place?”
He took a turn, “When we get there, don ‘t talk and stay close.”
That’s comforting. “I’m not a stranger to violence.”
“I don’t doubt you can handle yourself. It’s not about that.”
He took another turn and I saw how tightly he was gripping the wheel.
“What’s it about?”
His speed slowed tremendously as we cruised a total flip side to the city. A place where gangs and darkness resided. “It’s about turf. So just do what I say.”
He parked us beside
a tall apartment building. It was falling apart really, with broken windows and loud noises. The minute I opened the door I heard them; arguing, shouts, banging, music. Women in almost nothing went by and it’s freezing. They looked like hookers.
On second thought…as I saw some stopping to bend and talk to men through car windows and such I realized, that’s exactly what they are.
Chance doesn’t walk fast here, he walks slowly for what I’ve seen of him, and though he keeps his head bent a little toward the sidewalk, his eyes don’t miss a trick. I walked at his side, trying to seem unaffected by the noises, the darkness, the flickering or dim streetlights, and the overall feel of danger.
As we were passing an alley someone grabbed my sleeve and demanded something in a deep, angry tone, but in the same second, Chance locked his hand around my other arm and yanked me out of the other guy’s grasp.
He let go and charged the guy from the shadows like he intended to knock him out but as soon as the guy saw Chance’s face up close he took off in the other direction.
So Chance isn’t to be fucked with.
He shoved my back, “Keep moving.”
I did but wondered what this night was shaping up to be.
We stopped in front of the apartment building and Chance told me to stay put. He went up the stoop where three people were sprawled out. I think they’re high, or drunk or both. He banged and waited.
A creepily thin black man answered and looked him over, “Ain’t seen you around in a long enough while. What you want?” He addressed Chance but didn’t miss my presence.
Chance’s haunting eyes bore into the man, “He has a friend. I’m here to pick her up.” He was obviously referring to Jax and the man set his shoulder in the frame.
“He ain’t got no girl,” he said. “I only then saw him few minutes ago and he be alone.”
Chance took another step up, “You know who I am?”
“Mmhm, you be that Urban Legend they all be talkin’ bout. Don’t change what I dun said. Jax aint with no woman.”
I felt a racing of my heart. So where was Jolee then? In this hell hole?
Chance went on, “If you know who I am, you won’t do somethin’ stupid. Like, lie to me.”
The thin man in the doorway only grinned at him. His teeth were black in some spots and his eyes revealed more wrinkles. “I still don’t know what you talkin’ bout boy-.”
In an instant Chance had the man by the shirt front and was banging his way into the apartment.
“Whoa! Calm the hell down,” I warned.
It fell on deaf ears as he struggled to force the man backward into the building. The man’s eyes were bugging but Chance’s were steady, even as his breath came out in hot blasts from his nostrils. “Where are they?” he asked again as I showed in time to hold the door open. He had the man pinned against the wall.
The sickly thin guy found his tongue, “Where you think they be at?”
Chance let go so fast the weasel fell but then stood and kept his distance. I heard what I’m fairly sure were sex sounds coming from up the stairs and very heavy base music. I followed Chance past the guy in the hall and up the stairs.
We went down a grubby hall where more sex sounds arose. Two men in a heated argument started our way, taking up all the room in the passageway. They started to violently push at one another and as they came our way Chance herded me into a closed doorway and pressed my back to the door. His body crushed mine to keep us flat as the two of them went by.
They were so hot with a fight in their veins, bumping us would definitely have caused a confrontation. Still, this also put Chance and me in a strange position, where I was able to feel every contour of his chest and stomach. His scent closed up my throat and as two men the same height I was eye to eye with a pair of blues I’d been dreaming about lately.
He kept his body tight like it was bracing for anything but when the men passed us he didn’t relax. Neither did I. He pushed away from me but the damage was done, I felt something. He did too, I could see it.
We resumed our walk until we came to an apartment door that read R13. Chance opened it to find a chain lock was keeping us from opening it all the way. He stepped back and slammed into it with his shoulder. The old wood didn’t stand a chance and it broke apart easily, allowing us in. I’m still trying to decide how many crimes we might have committed by now.
The place was dark with only one light in the kitchen. Enough to reveal the pig sty it was.
He went straight to the bedroom and opened the door. Jolee was lying in a bed that was bigger than the room, half dressed and asleep, or unconscious.
Jax was shirtless and sitting at the side of the bed with a handgun on the nightstand and a white powdery substance that I could only connect in my mind to be heroine. I’ve never seen it in real life.
“Get her dressed,” Chance said over his shoulder.
I moved past him and checked Jolee. Jax kept dark eyes on Chance the whole time without moving and Chance stared right back.
“She’s unconscious,” I announced. “What did she take?” I said at Jax.
He snorted whatever the drug of choice was then blinked a few times, “Pills,” he said vaguely.
I pushed down Jolee’s skirt and pulled her shirt down. She was a fucking mess but then she woke up and covered her eyes. A sob broke from her throat and it ruined me, even if she brought this on herself.
“Hey,” I made her look at me but she couldn’t get her eyes to focus and she kept falling in and out of consciousness.
“What did you give her?” I asked again.
Jax stood up and buttoned his pants, “Good shit. Hard shit.”
“I didn’t want to,” Jolee muttered.
I’m not sure what she’s claiming to have said no to. The sex or the drugs. I scooped her up in my arms and met Chance at the door. He went over to where Jax was and they faced one another.
“Let’s just go,” I said.
Jax cocked his head in a challenging way, his bald head seemed too small for his muscled body, “Remember who turf you on,” he said in a low drawl to Chance, “or you gonna be a remembered Legend, not a walkin’ one.”
I waited with Jolee in my arms to see where this would go.
Chance flipped over the nightstand with all its contents but Jax didn’t so much as blink, like he expected it.
Chance turned his back on him and rejoined me at the door. We walked out as Jax yelled to our backs, “She’s gonna owe me for them pills.”
Chapter Nine
TRIXIE
When Chance and Adam came in with my sister in their arms I was making tea at the stove. I went from content to so scared I could feel my heart beating in my temples. I dropped my cup and ran over to them, hearing it shatter on the floor behind me.
Adam carried her upstairs while trying to relay what happened but all I saw was my sister, crying and shivering and seemingly too out of it to move herself. He laid her in our bed and I climbed in with her, holding her close to my body while she cried.
Adam went back down to talk to Chance and I laid there crying about things I didn’t even know. “Talk to me,” I pleaded. We lay facing one another. I pushed the hair from her face and squeezed her shoulder, “Jolee, talk!”
She acted so ready to fall apart but at the same time, she seemed about to fall asleep. “I didn’t want to,” she said in a small voice.
“You didn’t want to what?”
She sniffed and covered her face.
“Adam said something about pills…” I remembered out loud.
She raked her hands through her hair, “I wanted the pills, I didn’t want to have sex. He didn’t use a condom, and now I’m freaked out.” Her cries were driving me crazy.
“What were the pills you took?”
She shook her head, “I don’t know…”
I let all this sink in and I held her like a sister should, while I listened to the sound of Chance and Adam talking. Then I heard Adam’s advice from weeks a
go. My heart is too big. That’s what he told me and now I see what he means.
I held Jolee away from me and forced back the tears to let the anger come to the front. “Jolee,” I hissed. “Look at me…” she tried but kept tucking her head. “Look at me or I’m leaving you alone.” I was just as surprised by my firmness as she was. She finally gave me a form of eye contact and I let the words fall out, “I’m not doing this…with you…ever again. You didn’t deserve what happened tonight,” I almost broke but stayed strong, “but Adam is right, the guys are right, Chris and Jenzy are right, you are not our mess, to clean up.”
She opened her mouth but I cut her off, “You’re not my mess. Do you hear me?” My breath was so ragged I wasn’t sure, “You will not do this again, or Jolee, I won’t help you again. My boyfriend, just went to a fucking crack house to protect you. Do you understand? Do you understand that a man we hardly know, that is our boss just risked his life to get you out?”
She whimpered but it had less of an effect on me, “If you truly are sorry, if you really mean it, then don’t put me in this place again. Don’t use me, or my loved ones, because Jolee… one more time. That’s all I’m giving you. And even if it turns me inside out, I will cut you out of my life.”
She cried, but they weren’t fake tears for once. They were cleansing tears and I dropped some of the tough girl to hold her.
The next morning I woke up to an empty apartment. Adam left a text saying he was out getting groceries and I got myself up to go downstairs. I plopped down on the sofa and wrapped myself in the warm shawl I had on. I had pillow lines on my cheek and my forearm. I stared into thin space at the window.
“Good morning!” Jolee dropped down beside me with a fresh cup of hot coffee.
“I didn’t know you were here,” I croaked. “What’s this?”
“Coffee silly,” she held it out. “It has creamer and a ton of sugar the way you like.”
I take it with tons of sugar and no creamer, but she’s trying. She looks different. Cleaner. She’s wearing light makeup and her hair looks annoyingly full and shiny.
The Significant Other (The Relationship Quo Series Book 4) Page 10