“Thanks,” I took it and held it in my hands to reap the warmth.
“So…I know you just woke up and you probably don’t want to talk but I need to tell you something.”
I sipped my coffee, “I’m listening.”
“Last night made me realize…I suck.” She toyed with a ring on her finger, “I’m… hurting you… and that’s not what I want.” She smacked her lips, “And that’s why, today is my start over day! I’m going to try to be a better sister, a better friend, a better person. Overall a better me.”
I took her hand and softened my voice, “Jolee, what happened last night was bad. I’m upset with you but more than that I’m worried for you. You remember right?”
“I don’t wanna talk about that. I’m fine!” She flicked her hair back.
“No, Jolee, you were raped.”
She shook her head and kept her eyes to the left. “It’s not a big deal, Sis. Move forward.”
I held her hand tighter, “It is a big deal. It’s traumatizing. You need to talk about it. Don’t you want to call the cops?”
“Sure,” she laughed bitterly and artistically wiped a tear from under her eye, “hey, officer, I was getting illegal drugs off this guy, and while I was high as fuck, he raped me,” She mocked. “That ought to go over real well.”
“You still matter.”
“I brought it on myself, okay. If I see it that way, so would a jury. Just drop it, I’m fine. I’m getting tested this afternoon to be sure it’s all good. Maybe I’d of eventually slept with him anyway.”
I argued, “That would have been a choice!”
She sat back and I thought she was going to fight but then she slapped that fake smile on, “New leaf.” She said, “Starting today.”
I realized like last night, I’m not her keeper.
“Okay,” I let it go, “new leaf.”
“You’ll see,” she pinched my nose, “I’m going to be a fantastic sister, Frisky Trixie.”
I rolled my eyes, “I hate that name.”
She laughed.
I frowned at her outfit. “Is that my sweater?”
She jumped up, “Gotta go, late for work!”
“That’s my sweater!”
“Mr. Urban says I need to be there to clean the bar, Trix, gotta go!”
I laughed as I stood up, “If you get one stain or hole in that sweater-.”
“Bye, Sis,” she blew a kiss at the door on her way out.
I grabbed up my stuff later and dressed warmly for traveling. I went to central park where I sat on a bench long ways and jotted down some lyrics. I went with the beat in my head, as a fun melody pounded in my head.
Midway through I felt licking on my face and turned my head to be nose to nose with Buddy; Liam’s dog. I laughed and stopped to pet him, “Hey there, Cutie!” I said, kissing his nose.
Liam came and stood watching us, “He always sniffs you out, it’s weird.”
I pulled what was left of my banana muffin from breakfast and fed it to him. Buddy is so gentle he takes his time, “He just knows I love em’,” I teased and pulled my legs up to me.
Liam sat beside me but kept a respectable distance, “We were all the way across the park, though. He just took off on me.”
I fed Buddy more of my treat, “Maybe he wants us to be friends.”
He rubbed his hands together and breathed into them, “Maybe. This is a big city but we’ve run into you a lot.”
That might be my fault. I feel like I can talk to Liam and that means I might have purposefully passed through his route many a time.
“Coffee?” I asked.
He laughed, “You’re running with the whole, ‘I asked so I can pay’ thing.”
“Well, one day you can invite me and pay and we’ll be even.”
He changed the subject, and held out his hand for my journal, “Are you being a genius?”
I handed it to him, “Just toying around.”
He read through the one I was working on, “I like this,” he smiled and my heart sped up. I’m going to tell myself it’s the compliment, not his smile, “You actually wrote a song about coffee and it’s kinda awesome.”
I pulled my scarf up. I don’t know how he does it in this cold, and when I think of it, my heart breaks a little. “It’s not for the band, it’s just funny…”
He held it out and read some of it aloud.
“Morning sun, gotta run, but I need my coffee.
Just woke up, I can’t see. Don’t want tea, its coffee.
With a stranger or on my own, just call me on the phone, so we can get coffee.
Keeps me warm when I’m cold, I like it plain but nice and bold.
Wake me up, with a cup.
Coffee…
Bring it to me, I’m on the couch. Don’t and I’ll be a serious grouch.
That’s my song, gotta run.
Think my morning coffee is done.”
I blushed to hell and back. Hiding behind my other notebook, I looked over the top and narrowed my eyes, “You’re laughing.” I accused.
He set the journal on my lap and pulled out his guitar. “I’m laughing because it’s cute. You’re cute.” He positioned his instrument, “And because I want to play with it. Sing it the way you heard it in your head.”
I sat up further and leaned forward. I showed him what I heard and we sang it together a couple times, tweaking here and there. Liam is soft. His heart is soft like mine, he wants to be happy and reap from silly moments like this one.
“Now, I’m hungry…” I declared as he packed up.
“Go eat.” He nodded to Buddy, who was lying on the ground by our bench, “He ate your breakfast so…”
I laughed then watched him a second. “When is the last time you ate something?”
He gave me a flat look like I was supposed to know, not to go there. “Not important.” He added.
“You should know I’m nosy by nature. If we’re to be friends, you need to learn that.” I pressed my scarf over my mouth and nose to keep warm, but all he had was that ratty coat and those fingerless gloves. His shoes had seen better days and his scruff had grown in more since we met.
“Trixie,” he began and I could tell by how he said my name, a lecture was coming. “I think you’re an amazing girl. Very smart, very funny,” his cheeks got rosy, “Beautiful…” he pushed his suitcase out from under the bench, “And you have a heart of gold but you are too trusting. I’m a bum.”
I laughed outright, “You aren’t a bum!”
He squinted one eye, “I slept under a bridge last night, I’m fairly certain that qualifies me to be categorized in the bum department or a troll one.”
I raised my brows and pointed at him, “That’s being domestically challenged, not a bum.”
He gave me a lopsided smile, which offered me a view of a heart-stopping dimple. “It goes against every drop of blood in my body to let you pay for me. You’re a girl and I’m the guy.”
“That’s sexist.”
“Fine, I’m the taller one. Taller people pay for shorter people.”
We laughed but then went still.
I tilted my head and thought out the next question, “Why are you here? In this position? You are really intelligent and well-read and talented so you weren’t born to this. What happened to put you here? On the streets?”
He pressed his lips together then stood up, “I have to head out. Make sure you practice the song. It’s really something.”
“Maybe I could help? You don’t have to tell me everything…”
He nodded to the street, “I really do have to go.”
“Great,” I threw my stuff into my bag, “Another man with secrets.” I got up and sidestepped Buddy.
“I don’t mean it like that,” he said.
I shouldered my bag and felt a split in the fabric of the friendship we’d been weaving. “I’m tired of decoding what everyone means. I’m tired of caring. I’m tired of secrets and denial and I’m just tired.” I saw t
he sadness in his eyes and shook my head, “It’s not you, okay? It’s not. You and I are basically strangers and I’m asking personal questions but I think you were a welcome distraction from some of the shit I’m working out.”
None of what I’m saying makes sense, I can tell by the look of wounded confusion on his handsome face, “Never mind,” I started leaving and he followed, “It was really nice meeting you, Liam, you’re a cool guy. Thanks,” I fled before he could say anything.
I think I’m running from more than Liam. I’m running from my attraction. An attraction that shouldn’t be there if I love Adam.
Chapter Ten
ADAM
Valentine’s Day is awkward for someone like me. Outward affection that isn’t sex makes me uncomfortable but I promised Trixie to try. So I got her red roses and a heart-shaped box of chocolate.
When she woke up, I knelt on the bed and presented her with both. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” I said bending to kiss her.
She smiled and sat up to rub her eyes. She’s beautiful even in the morning. Her dark hair streaked with blue fell around her face and her tats somehow made her look like a fairy, all swathed in a short and thin silk nightgown.
“Adam,” she smelled the roses, “these are beautiful, thank you.”
“I thought, maybe tonight before the show we could go out for dinner then hit the stage, then come home…and…” I let it hang but she grinned and bent forward to kiss me.
“No fucking, while I’m in the apartment!” Her sister shouted from the kitchen.
I fumed even as Trix tugged at my t-shirt. “She’s just-.”
I ignored her and yelled back, “Then find something to do tonight! There will be fucking, whether you’re here or not!”
She was quiet and I felt accomplished until she shouted back, “Is that an invitation?”
I threw up in my mouth a little bit and Trix laughed. It’s not funny, I hate Jolee.
Later after dinner Trix and I left the restaurant I took her to, hand in hand, but it wasn’t ten minutes walking the street before I took my hand back.
She looked up at me and it hurt too much to look back. Why can’t I do it? We talked about why, so why don’t I feel different? I tried putting my arm around her shoulders, but even that didn’t last long.
Adam, the robot.
When we came into the club, Chance spotted me immediately. It’s like he feels me long before he sees me. I offered him a low key wave and he gave a chin lift. Since the issue with Jolee things between us are weird. There is this static but I keep avoiding it even as I orbit close.
When we were done playing on stage and Chance was doing the tip out, Trixie helped me and the guys pack. We kept smiling in an awkward way at each other and I wondered if on some level she was just as reluctant to have sex tonight as I was.
“I got it,” she assured me as she wrapped a cord for the electric guitar.
I stopped fussing over her and went to where Diego was packing his guitars as well, “Hey,” I just started helping.
“What are you doing, Pop?” He whispered. “Go take her home,” he looked to Trixie. “It’s Valentines…”
I looked and saw Trix watching us. She turned away as soon as she noticed. She can’t hear us but she’s probably guessing.
I whispered back, “It’s fine…”
Diego frowned, “You bueno?”
I clenched my jaw, “Yeah, I’m good.”
He worked with me but then tried again, “things okay with you two?”
I licked my lips in thought then checked to see if she was looking. She’s working with Blaze to put up his things. “I think we’re both…stalling…”
He frowned deeper, “I didn’t think you and Ma, had trouble in that area.”
“We don’t.” I defended. “It’s…all the other areas.”
He nodded. “Make it special.”
“I’m trying…” I walked with him to the taxi to load. “I’m trying not to be so robotic.”
He laughed. “Is it that hard?”
Yes.
“What are your plans?” I asked.
“Bar hopping in hopes of getting laid. Blaze already got a bella dama coming to the place. I gotta get lost.” He slammed the trunk closed, “Knox, is gonna stay at some hotel. He’s bringing Jolee too.”
I grimaced and he did the same, “Not for that. To get her out of your way.”
I walked back in with him as Blaze and Trixie were walking out. I caught her arm but the guys kept going.
“Hey, Stud,” she smiled and stopped to go into my arms. “What’s up?”
I pushed myself. “I wanna get you alone… then I’ll show you what’s up.”
She smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes. Even though I feel it isn’t reaching mine, this hurts. It’s agonizing. I’m still losing her.
My phone rang and I used the excuse to let her go since this was still a public place. “Hello?” I kissed her cheek silently then let her finish packing as Elijah Lane’s voice came down the line.
“Adam?” He asked.
“Elijah. Hey, Man, what can I do for you?”
He sighed, “A really big favor…”
I went further back for quiet. “Anything.”
He chuckled, “You might regret saying that… I need you in Hill Ridge, Pennsylvania by nine in the morning…”
I froze and looked at my watch. “Elijah, it’s three am… I don’t even know where the hell Hill Ridge, Pennsylvania is!”
“It’s a little bumfuck town at the state line. Like a three and a half hour trip from New York City.” He sounded exhausted. “Listen, I know how inconvenient this is. It’s Valentine’s night and even my lady friend is cussing me out. I was supposed to be back in California by now, but I have three major charity bosses that want to meet the talent heads from Arts & Hopes Success branch. You and five others are flying, driving, and train riding here. This is extremely unusual but I can’t help it.”
I set my back against the wall, “Who are they exactly?”
“Charity division. So that means investors in the school and it’s branch program. They want to see the fruits of their donations…” He sighed again, “You’re there to tell them how well you are doing, how successful you’ve been, and all that jazz.”
I saw Trix as she went by. She waved. I waved back but then I saw Chance carrying barrels of domestic beers into the cellar. He carries them like they’re weightless over his shoulder and our eyes snagged as he disappeared down the steps.
I need to work my shit out away from both of them, “Do I need the band?”
“No, you’re the lead. Just you is fine.”
We hung up after and I blew out air as Knox and Diego drove off in the taxi.
I motioned to Trix and Blaze and they met me at the bar. Jolee was still off serving a few customers that were there to talk but as soon as Chance returned, Zeus took up her work and made her go so she wouldn’t hit overtime.
I told Blaze and Trix what was up while Chance helped with inventory behind the bar.
“But it’s Valentine’s night,” Trix said in a small voice.
“I know, I’m sorry. This sucks but…I don’t have a choice. He says this would look really bad if I don’t go.”
Blaze sat on a stool, “But Pop, you wouldn’t get there till like six or seven in the morning.” He winced, “and you’ve been up for hours.”
Trix shook her head, “How would you even get there? We can’t afford to rent a car.”
“No,” I looked at my phone, “we can, it’s gonna be pricey but-.”
“Take my car,” Chance offered out of the blue.
“That’s really nice,” Trix told him, “but Adam hasn’t slept and I’d feel super uneasy about him driving.”
“I’ll drive,” he explained. “I don’t sleep during these hours so I’m wide awake.”
I remembered him saying that but the idea of being in a car with him for that long gave me goosebumps, “I’ll be fine,” I stat
ed.
“Adam,” she came closer and held my hand. “Please let Chance drive. It’s too long a drive and you have to be on it the next day at a meeting. You aren’t being smart.”
All I can think is that she doesn’t know Chance is gay. She doesn’t know she’s sticking me in a box on wheels of temptation.
“It’s not a problem,” Chance put in, “not for me,” his comment felt smug. Asshole.
“Why are you being so fucking nice?” I shot.
He smirked. God, that smirk. It’s a sexy, evil smirk.
Blaze looked at his phone, “Okay, I have a really hot woman that is naked at my apartment so Ima go…” he announced before speed walking out.
“You’re a horrible friend!” I yelled after him. He didn’t even offer to drive with us.
He waved over his shoulder but still kept on course.
Trix stepped closer, “Stud, this kind of ruins our plans, I need you to be careful. It’s a long way and it’s not the hour to be out driving to God knows where.”
I cut my eyes at Chance as he wiped down the bar. Acting innocent. “I’ll be fine,” I ground out.
She turned my face so we were face to face, “I love you,” she whispered.
I nodded, “Yeah, you too,” she knows I don’t do and say this stuff in front of people, so why is she pushing me?
“Promise you’ll call me when you get there?” she asked.
I pulled my face back from her, “Yeah, I said yeah. We’ll be fine. Stop worrying.”
She stood on her toes to kiss my cheek but I leaned away, “I need to grab some shit from the apartment so I can get going,” I rubbed her shoulder and walked away knowing Chance was calculating that whole scene.
In less than an hour, I had my duffle and Chance and I was in his car again. Trix stayed at the bar to say goodbye and Chance gave Zeus instruction for the club. After an awkward kiss from Trix, we were gone.
I rested my head against the headrest and kept my eyes on the road.
“Well,” Chance began, “I can see you’ll make a great shotgun driver. Between deep brooding and begrudging glares, I’m really looking forward to the next four hours.”
The Significant Other (The Relationship Quo Series Book 4) Page 11