Timothy ignored Chance, “I think we wanted different things from the start.”
Chance barked a laugh and I glared at him.
He didn’t take the hint. He lit up and held the smoke to his lips.
“Something funny?” Tim questioned.
Chance took the cigarette away, “Yeah, considering you’re gay, I’d say you wanted the exact same things.”
“Chance,” I warned in a muffled tone.
He sent me an innocent look.
Timothy mockingly laughed and crossed his arms, “Well, I’m not alone in that respect, Adam, you’re still seeing Trixie, right? That girl with the green highlights? I don’t think I’m the only one in denial there.”
I opened my mouth to argue but Chance touched my shoulder, “Wasn’t Trixie, the girl before me?”
My head snapped around to look at him.
“Oh are you two…?” Timothy pointed between us, “I didn’t realize you were together.”
From the moment Tim laid eyes on Chance, I know he was intrigued. To say that my affections settling on Chance was an upgrade from Timothy is an understatement.
“We uh… it’s…” I stuttered trying to find an out.
Tim dug deeper, “Is he still a stickler about public affection?” he asked Chance. “I had a horrible time getting him to do anything.”
I resented him for that statement, “In all fairness,” I said, “when I did finally express myself you were magically straight, so…”
He nodded apologetically, “I was confused, Adam. Teens usually are. You always had trouble being demonstrative, though.” He was shifting it on me and it ground at my nerves.
Chance took my hand and frowned, “Really?” he looked back at me, “You weren’t demonstrative?” He looked back at Tim, “Must be talking about a separate Adam.”
I tried to take my hand back because well, I am bad with PDA. He wouldn’t have it. He kept his grip firm and only let go to massage the back of my neck, “You’re always demonstrative with me.” Chance outwardly claimed me with his eyes and even though the public affection was choking me into shock I also got a little lost in it.
Tim’s brows rose. “Interesting.”
“Not really,” Chance pulled me closer, “I think it just takes someone to bring it out in him. I bring a lot out. A lot.”
Tim looked so uncomfortable. Probably as uncomfortable as I felt. “Well, I have to get going, I’m here with friends but it was good to catch up, Adam.” He backed out.
“Yeah, it was great,” I twitched.
“Chance,” Tim held his hand out again, “Nice to meet you too.”
Chance just grinned again.
“Still no shake?” Tim tried to laugh it off.
“Well, I don’t like you, so…” Chance took a long drag from his smoke and I covered a laugh in a cough.
Tim nodded and skated off.
I looked back at Chance, “You’re as subtle as a shot to the face.”
“I don’t give a shit what he thinks,” he released me and checked his phone for the time.
“Thanks, I guess… it was weird but…”
Chance winked and I shoved his shoulder.
I forgot he was unsteady still and he fell. His cigarette flew out of his hand and he hit with a thud.
“Shit! Sorry!” I said.
He whacked my ankle so I fell beside him and hit my head.
“Was that really-?”
“Yes,” he answered, “you’re lucky you aren’t under the ice.”
When we came home a few hours later, Liam and Trixie were sitting closely on the couch. They scooted apart when they saw us but I didn’t act like I noticed.
“Guys,” Jolee found us in the hall between the kitchen and the steps, “thanks for not saying anything…”
We stopped and listened but then I shook my head, “I’m doing it for Trix, not you. You matter to me because of her but honestly, what you did is about the stupidest thing.”
She flinched at my words, “I don’t have the money.” She whispered, “What else was I supposed to do? I couldn’t ask you guys for it.” She looked to Chance, “Do I even still have a job?”
He stayed unreadable, “Don’t bring your personal shit to work. Otherwise, I’ll keep you.”
She looked back at me, “If I promise to stop the…other stuff, can I please keep staying with you and Trix? Adam, we go back tomorrow and I don’t have anywhere to go. What am I supposed to do?”
My robot said, ‘figure it out,’ but my heart and mouth said, “Stop the whoring and you can stay. I’m not helping you pay off those pills. How many did you even take?”
She cast her eyes down.
Chance whispered to me, “It’s not how many she took that night, it’s how many bottles she bought.”
“What?” I frowned.
Jolee swallowed loudly, “I bought like five bottles. I was drunk and I said I had the money.”
“Oh my freaking God! Five? You needed five bottles? Just give them back!” I snapped.
“Doesn’t work like that,” Chance explained. “She owes, that’s it.”
I looked back at her, “I can’t believe you. This means when we carried you out, you had a purse full of-.”
“I know,” she admitted, “I know what kind of person I am. Just please, I’m trying. I’ll get the money and I’ll stop the other stuff.”
I went past her and to where my mom was cooking. I don’t like the sticky and dark parts of life and Jolee is dragging me in.
Chapter Twenty-Three
TRIXIE
Back in New York City as the season changed quickly from fall to winter, Christmas took over the city. Now I’m not sure if there has ever been a more beautiful place to spend the holiday.
I stood in my kitchen listening to Christmas music and preparing ingredients for the best gumbo dish ever when I heard the door open.
“Hey!” Liam said coming into the apartment.
I looked back at him as Buddy ran in to sniff at my ankles. “Hi!” I went on chopping onion, “What’s up?”
“You really need to lock this apartment. This is the city, not Colorado. Plus it’s crime season.”
I kept on with my work, “I totally would have known if you were a burglar.”
He came to lean on the counter and watch me, “I kind of am…”
I pushed him with my hip. “Don’t say that. Don’t even joke about it. You were desperate.”
He straightened and loomed over my shoulder, “Fine, but I’m serious about the door.”
“I have really keen senses, I would know. I always know when someone is behind me.”
“Wanna bet?”
I stopped and faced him with my hands up so I wouldn’t touch anything with the onion smell on them, “I would totally bet you.”
His eyes roamed my face, “Okay, let’s do this. You keep cooking and I’ll come in when you don’t expect it.”
I sized him up. Tall guy like him can’t sneak in here without my knowing it. “Deal, I’d shake on it but you’ll smell like onion.”
He inclined his head toward the stove. “You do your thing and I’ll see what I can do. Buddy has to stay in the guy’s apartment. He’ll warn you. We do this and then I show you how to make real gumbo.”
I bugged my eyes, “I make amazing Gumbo.”
“Yeah, no. I’m from New Orleans. I have recipes that date back to the first dish served. It’s no comparison to whatever you found on the internet.”
I narrowed my eyes, “Okay, try to break in, then we’ll see what ya got behind the stove.”
He narrowed his eyes back, “It’s on. On like Donkey Kong.”
I laughed as he left with Buddy. Then I felt self-conscious. I checked my reflection in a mirror mounted in the living room. I had on a blue and plaid dress the colors of my hair with tall boots. I look okay. Yeah. I’m fine. I fingered my lavender and magenta waves. I used the pad of my finger to clean the eyeliner under my eyes and stood straight before
going back to the gumbo prep.
I checked the clock on my phone. It’s been twenty minutes and he hasn’t made an attempt. I checked over my shoulder constantly but he was nowhere in sight and I didn’t feel anything.
My Christmas music filled me up with a cozy feeling and I smiled even though I should be paying attention. Liam makes me smile. His voice alone, it makes me feel warm. I haven’t felt this way since I met Adam.
I checked over my shoulder but the apartment was quiet.
I chopped the green peppers and hummed along with the song. Liam was taking forever to do this.
Then I started concocting a song. Hmm, nice. The lyrics went with the Christmas music and my body swayed with it.
I set the knife down to rinse my hands when I felt someone grab me from behind. I screamed, even knowing it was Liam, even knowing this was the game, I was totally off guard and screamed before laughing at myself.
He held me close against his chest with his arms around my waist, “That was so easy, I almost fell asleep doing it,” he said.
I sagged back into him and laid my hands over his across my stomach, “My heart is beating way too fast,” I admitted. “Feel it?” I set his hand over my heart above my left breast and a heat wave of arousal nearly knocked me over.
His palm pressed into it.
He brought his head down to rest near my ear, “It’s just me. That’s why you need locks, though.”
We really don’t need to stay this close or connected but the feel of his chest to my back is making the place between my legs ache. I’m curious and I can’t help it. I want to know what another guy feels like but more than that I want to know what he feels like.
“How did you do it?” I asked.
“Window. I climbed the fire escape where your living room is.”
I stiffened and pulled away enough to look to my right, “Oh my God, how did I miss that? I was right here the whole time?”
“Gotta lock your doors and windows.” He said again.
I turned to see him as I picked up a slice of green pepper and took a bite. “Okay, you win,” I kept the pepper to my lips, “now teach me to make gumbo.”
I held out the remainder of my pepper and offered it to him. He came closer and held my eyes as he parted his lips to take the pepper from my fingers with his mouth. He held my wrist and dragged his teeth and lips across my fingers.
I felt his lips everywhere, not on my fingers. The wetness of his tongue flickered over the tip of my finger and I felt it on my neck, on my lips. My body throbbed with a need. I tried to look unaffected but as he pulled his head back and chewed we kept watching one another.
My throat went dry.
“Know what?” He said pressing his front into mine.
I tipped my head back, waiting for something, a kiss probably but instead he grabbed two of the peppers I hadn’t cut from behind me.
I tried to listen but he stayed almost pressed against me, “Green peppers are male and female.”
“No they aren’t.”
He held one of the two up, “Look,” he tapped the bottom, “three bumps means male,” he switched to the other, “four means female. Females also have more seeds inside.”
I tilted my head, “I didn’t know that.”
“It’s not that they really are male and female, that’s a cooking tale but it does help to tell the difference.”
“Why?”
“Males are better for like, grilling or cooking period.” He put them back and closed me in with his arms on the counter on either side of my hips. “Females, are good for growing new plants because of all the seeds, and well-,” he bent his head and brought our lips close, “they’re sweeter when eaten…” he touched our noses and I moved my head back in my way of inviting him, “Especially raw,” he added before pressing our lips together.
I closed my eyes with him and slung my arm around his neck. I’m kissing Liam! Another man! I don’t feel guilty or anything and he feels amazing.
I snagged his lip between my teeth and he pressed me back into the counter. This has my whole body on fire. I want him so much.
He stopped us short and rested his hands on my waist causing the ache to become unbearable, “I’m not good enough for you,” he pressed a kiss to my nose, “I keep telling myself that but I keep failing at leaving you alone.”
I rubbed up his arms, “I’m not stopping you. You aren’t the man you were and even then, you weren’t bad.”
He breathed out through his nose like he was frustrated by my theory, “There’s nothing good about trying to rob a store. Even if I had reasons. Something is wrong with me, if I let myself reach that point. Thousands of people have been in the situation I was in and not all of them did something that stupid.”
I brought his lips back to mine, “You’re right, it was wrong and you had no right to do what you did,” I pressed him closer, “But you learned from it and the universe offered you grace. Take it and be better, that’s all you can do.” I panted when he pushed his hips into mine so I was pressed back into the counter, “I believe in you. Same for Chance. Look at all the things he did… but he’s not that man anymore.”
He grabbed a handful of my hair and searched my face, “You’re so innocent.”
“I-.”
“It’s not an insult,” he corrected. “But you are. For all the living you’ve done, you still don’t know enough about people to be wary of them. You trust too easy.” He breathed in my hair and my eyes fluttered closed, “that’s why I keep telling myself to leave you alone.” He skimmed his nose down my neck, “I don’t want to encourage you.”
I gripped his shoulders and waited to feel his tongue. I wanted to feel wet, warm and taken. “I know you.” I managed to say.
He shook his head but then I felt a wet kiss on my shoulder, “No, you don’t. That’s what worries me about you. You only know what I told you. That’s not the same thing. I never even sense you being skeptical.”
“Do you want me to not trust you?” I pulled back to look in his eyes.
“I want to have you,” he gave my hips a squeeze, “and to not feel guilty for it.”
I wanted to speak but then we heard Buddy bark through the door and as soon as the knob turned we were miles apart.
He stood by the refrigerator and I returned to the stove.
“What’s cookin’?” Knox asked as he came in holding hands with Bianca. Buddy ran in and found his place in the living room.
“Gumbo,” I said shakily, “we are making Gumbo,” I smiled just as Diego and Blaze came in. “Where’s Jolee?”
Bianca came to lean on the island, “She didn’t show for her shift. Boss be pretty pissed.”
I’ve gotten used to the she-bitch. She’s always around now since she and Knox are together. She even takes meals here but her news made me irate.
“Well, where is she?”
Bianca shrugged, “I’m not her babysitter.”
I turned my back to her, “This is the hundredth time since Thanksgiving. She’s going to lose her job. The job I got her.” I threw the cutting board and all the banter in the room stopped. I could feel them all staring at my back.
“You okay?” Diego asked from my right.
“No!” I snapped. “I’m not alright!” I took off the apron and grabbed my coat and purse.
“Where are you going?” Blaze asked.
“To find Adam, I need some fucking answers and I know he has them.”
Liam tried to step in front of the door, “Maybe he does but maybe there’s a reason he hasn’t told you.”
I glared, “Maybe I’m too trusting.” I stepped around him gut sent a meaningful look, “maybe if everyone wants me to be less innocent they should stop trying to protect me.” I went out the door in a rage I didn’t really feel. I wasn’t that angry with Liam but I’m also done having all the men in my life think they need to suffocate me with protection.
Adam with his jealous dominance.
The band with their wa
y of shadowing me.
Liam and his inability to just accept how we might feel.
My sister with her dark secrets. I love her so much and I’m in debt to her for taking the evil touches of our uncle but does something that was out of my control years ago have to hang over my head for life?
Does that mean I let her destroy herself and all the people around her?
It’s Jax. I know he’s why she’s missing work, disappearing and coming home at odd hours looking spent. I heard her crying in the shower the other night. Something is happening and I know in my gut that Adam knows.
ADAM
Chance standing over my shoulder while I try to make steak over the stove is a very unnerving feeling.
“Will you fuck off?” I said looking back over my shoulder.
He leaned a little more anyway, “I think you killed the cow a second time.”
I flipped it over again, “I like it well-done.”
“So…in other words…ruined.” He argued.
I pushed my glasses up my nose then read the back of the box with instructions on how to make mashed potatoes. “I did this out of the kindness of my heart.” I reminded.
He laughed, “The tin one or the digital one?”
“Feel free to take over any time.” I flopped the steak down on a plate and scooted it away before putting more butter in the pan.
He sighed, “I said we should eat out, you wanted to stay in.” He poked my steak with a knife and grimaced when no blood came out, “but you’re afraid to be seen in public with me so this is the cross you bear.”
I put the next steak on, “It’s not like that.”
He just watched me in that knowing way.
I licked my lips, “I don’t do well with public stuff period. It’s not just you. Trixie was out with me alone like maybe five times over ten years. I like groups.”
He studied me, “What are you afraid will happen?”
“Nothing.” I lied.
“This a secret?”
I motioned between the two of us, “We don’t even know what this is. I just got out of a relationship and you’ve humped half of NY. Nothing is official. We’re just… hanging out.”
The Significant Other (The Relationship Quo Series Book 4) Page 25