by Liwen Y. Ho
This wasn’t like her. She thrived on being in control of everything in her life, including her feelings. But when Colin was in the picture, all rhyme and reason flew out the window. What was it about him that drove her to do crazy, unexplainable things? She wasn’t supposed to kiss him—again! And she wasn’t supposed to let him get under her skin.
She was being petty and impulsive, she admitted it. She’d reacted badly and more than she should have to him wiping away the drool on her chin. But why had such a simple act unnerved her so?
In her mind, she could see his face in that moment when she woke up from her nap. He had tried so hard not to smile, but the laughter was still there in his eyes. The situation had left her completely out of sorts. She hated being vulnerable, but more than that, she hated feeling vulnerable with Colin.
It was another reminder of how he had seen her at her worst. And a reminder of all the grief she had bottled up inside of her, grief which always tried to seep out of the walls she had built around her heart. With hot tears gathering in her eyes, she reached for the locket around her neck. She clutched the small piece of metal in her hand, trying desperately to keep her emotions in check.
She reached the bottom of the hill, her chest heaving as she gasped for air. Pausing for a moment, she heard Colin calling out to her in the distance. His usually boisterous voice was laden with sorrow and urgency. She turned back and saw him running down the hill toward her, followed by two others. Embarrassment and shame pushed her forward again, this time down the shoreline. She ran along the space where the waves crashed onto the shore, creating white foam on the sand.
She couldn’t stop. She didn’t want to face Colin. Facing him would mean facing her own demons, something she wasn’t prepared to do yet—maybe not ever. A bitter laugh surfaced from deep within her chest and escaped through her wind-chapped lips. How far could she run though? Her calves were becoming sore, and she could barely see through the tears in her eyes. The scene before her became a blur of white and blue as she ran aimlessly in the open space. There was a moment of release as she closed her eyes and felt the first tear fall. It’d been so long since she’d cried, she almost didn’t recognize the wetness on her skin. But soon enough, the dam burst open, and she could no longer hold back her grief.
She hadn’t cried since that day in Colin’s arms. Months later, when she and her parents laid Mandy to rest, she hadn’t allowed herself to let go. It had been her job to stay strong. Because she knew if she had shed even a single tear, she wouldn’t have been able to stop. She had not only lost her sister, she had lost her best friend, her confidante.
It wasn’t fair. Why, God, why? Why didn’t You heal Mandy? Why didn’t You take me instead?
Eyes closed and heart racing, Candy continued running. Maybe she would just keep going until her legs gave out. Or she reached the end of the beach, whichever came first. All she knew was that she needed to let the tears fall. It was time to let go.
With reckless abandon, she wept.
She wept for her sister who had her life cut short. For her parents who had aged a lifetime when Mandy got sick. And lastly, for herself. For taking on the weight of the world and carrying it for far too long.
She opened her eyes and spotted a single trail of footprints in the sand before her. The prints were fresh, their outlines and squiggles clearly marked. Candy looked up ahead where the trail seemed to go on without end. She gasped softly as the words of the popular poem “Footprints” she’d heard as a kid ran through her mind. During the hardest times of the author’s life, she saw only one set of prints in the sand because God had carried her through them.
The Lord had carried her through her darkest times as well. If only He could carry her now. She was so weary, she was having trouble placing one foot ahead of the other. Her steps faltered, and she stumbled, losing her balance. She felt herself tumbling forward, her weight shifting to her upper body. With one hand still clutching her locket, she reached out with the other to soften her fall, not seeing the large driftwood lying a few feet before her. By the time she realized she was going to fall onto the spiky wood, it was too late.
Crash!
Pain immediately seared her face, burning the tender skin above her mouth. Candy felt the rough splinters of the aged wood poking through her jacket into her shoulder. She moaned, her body aching as she forced herself to roll onto her back. Lying there on the cold sand, she felt something hot and sticky fall down her right cheek. Her stomach sank as she realized her face, of all things, had cushioned her fall. Hot tears filled her eyes once more as the wound around her mouth throbbed.
Anger and frustration coursed through her, propelled by the adrenaline pumping through her veins. She’d never been good with physical pain, and in that instant, she feared she might pass out. As if things couldn’t get any worse, she heard Colin calling out her name again. She squeezed her eyes shut for a beat. It was embarrassing enough to be seen with her face torn up, but the last thing she wanted was to deal with the fallout from their fight. With her remaining ounce of strength, she propped herself up to a sitting position and tried to stand.
“Candy!” Colin’s voice boomed in her ears as he threw his arms around her. When he pulled back, his gaze fell to her mouth, and his own fell open in shock. “Oh, baby, what happened? We need to get you to a doctor.”
“I’m fine,” she insisted, even though she was having a hard time standing. As much as she didn’t want to, she slumped against Colin, relying on his strong arms to hold her up. “Let me go.”
“Stop being stubborn, woman.” His complexion paled as he took in her face. “You are not fine. You need medical care.”
Candy winced in pain. It was hard to argue with him when she knew he was right. The white sand below her feet was now stained crimson, making her lightheaded at the sight. She would need more than a bandage to fix this cut.
“Hey, guys, over here!” Colin suddenly called out to two individuals running over. “Candy’s hurt. Do you have any medical supplies in your car?”
Two people Candy recognized as Darren and Danica soon reached their side. Guilt and regret washed over her as she realized Colin hadn’t lied to her after all. He had invited his family to come, and half of them legitimately couldn’t make it. How could she have accused him like that?
She didn’t deserve his kindness. All this time, she had thought herself better than him. But the very opposite was true. Colin was the most humble man she knew. The most patient, too, to put up with her stubbornness. He deserved a woman so much better than her.
With a sob rising in her chest, Candy pushed herself from Colin’s arms. She stumbled over her feet as she walked over to where Darren stood with Danica beside him. Candy forced herself to speak the words that were so foreign to her lips, but the very thing she needed to ask: “Can you help me, please?”
The next thing she knew, her vision clouded and the world went black.
Chapter Thirteen
Colin
Colin paced about the hallway, his hands balled into tight fists. The emergency room at the county hospital in Carmel was quaint and quiet like the town. Other than himself, Darren, and Danica, only a handful of people were present in the waiting room.
He ran his hands through his hair, anxiously waiting to hear word on Candy’s condition. They had rushed over here after she had fainted in Darren’s arms and he’d carried her the half mile across the beach to his car. Colin felt as helpless now as he had then watching the love of his life in another man’s arms. It wasn’t the fact that his brother had been the one to help her, but the fact that she had asked Darren for help and not him. That part had left a stinging sensation in his chest. Had kissing him been so bad that she didn’t want anything to do with him anymore?
He knew Candy was stubborn, but this was beyond his comprehension. Especially given the fact that she’d kissed him—well and good. She had wanted that kiss as much as he had, but maybe the timing hadn’t been the best. He groaned, wishing for
relief from the tangle of emotions rushing through his body.
A large hand rested on his shoulder and squeezed it lightly. He stopped in his tracks and turned to face Darren, the rubber soles of his running shoes squeaking against the linoleum. “Hey, any word yet? Did the doctor come out?”
“Not yet,” Darren replied with a small smile. “Take a deep breath, bro. She’ll be all right. I’ve seen a lot worse happen to people, and they pulled through. She’ll need a couple of stitches above her lip, but she’ll be as good as new.”
“Yeah, thanks. I know it’s not too serious, but I just want to make sure she’s okay. I don’t like leaving her alone.”
Darren smirked. “This is Candy we’re talking about. She’s tough, maybe even tougher than some of the guys I work with. She’ll be fine.”
Colin stuffed his hands deep into his pockets and sighed. He knew better. He’d seen the despair in her tear-filled eyes when he found her lying on the sand. Candy might make herself appear hard as nails, but she was vulnerable inside, as soft as melted chocolate. But he couldn’t tell his brother this. He simply nodded. “I’m going to ask if I can go back to see her.”
“Sure,” Darren replied. “Danica and I will wait out here.”
“Why don’t you guys go have fun in town? There’s no need for all of us to be stuck inside on a nice day like today.”
“It’s no problem. I want to make sure Candy’s all right. I’d prefer to do a group thing anyway.”
Colin eyed his brother and considered giving him a piece of his mind for not jumping at the chance to spend some one-on-one time with a woman who was obviously interested in him. What he wouldn’t do to be in Darren’s shoes. “Your choice. I’ll be back.”
He strode over to the receptionist window with purpose in his steps. Having something to do was better than sitting around. Hopefully, the gray-haired woman typing slowly on her keyboard would let him through to see Candy. “Hi there, ma’am. I’d like to inquire about a patient. The name is Candy Connelly. She was brought back about half an hour ago for some facial injuries. I’d like to see her if possible.”
The woman gave him a wary once-over and looked at him over the rim of her thick glasses. “And you are?”
“Colin Spark, ma’am.” He flashed her his widest smile, the one that had once charmed an ornery poodle into a tail-wagging, face-licking lap dog. He was sure it’d have the same effect on this woman. Or maybe not.
She gave him a blank stare and waited a beat. “Are you a family member? Only family members are allowed back to see patients.”
“Oh, of course, I am,” Colin stammered, his smile wavering as he thought through his options. What could he tell the woman? That he was Candy’s brother or cousin? Both were lies. He pushed both options aside and went with another, more optimistic option. “I’m her husband.”
Her expression immediately softened. “Why didn’t you say so, young man? We can’t have you waiting out here worrying about your wife.” She picked up a clipboard on the desk beside her and ran one wrinkled finger down the paper. “Candy, Candy—that is such a cute name. She must be one sweet lady.”
“She certainly is,” Colin quipped, trying to hold back a chuckle. Oh, if Candy knew what he was up to now, she’d be anything but sweet.
“Ah, here she is,” the older woman declared. “Room 5. Put this on, and you can go on back.”
Colin took the visitor badge sticker she handed him and stuck it on his chest. He walked around the desk and through the swinging doors the woman directed him to. Once inside, the potent smell of bleach mixed with some other unpleasant scents filled his nose. He glanced around for the right room number and found it down the hall to his right. Standing in front of the partially open door, he released a long breath and knocked.
A middle-aged woman wearing a white doctor’s coat opened the door and stepped out. “May I help you?”
“I’m looking for Candy Connelly. The front desk told me she’s in room 5.”
“Oh yes, you’ve come to the right place. I’m Dr. Hayes. And you are?”
“I’m Colin. How is she doing?”
“She’s one tough cookie. Didn’t even flinch when I cleaned her up.” The doctor held the door open for Colin and allowed him to pass into the small exam room. She poked her head around the white curtain and announced, “Ms. Connelly, there’s a gentleman here to see you. Your brother, perhaps?”
“My brother? I don’t have a brother.”
Dr. Hayes glanced over at Colin with confusion. “You are family, correct?”
“Oh yes, I’m her husband,” he declared, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. His heart pounded from both the anticipation and nerves of seeing Candy. Would she mind him being there?
When the doctor drew back the curtain, Candy immediately greeted him with a frown. Trying to make the best of the situation, Colin threw his arms open wide and approached the bed. “Hey, baby, how are you?”
Candy’s body tensed as soon as he drew near. “Colin, what are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you.” His chest tightened as he took in her injuries. Her left side of her face was untouched, but the right, very swollen side made him wince. A bruise covered her cheek and the side of her nose, along with several scratches. But the greatest injury was near her cupid’s bow. Several short strips of surgical tape covered an inch-long cut that had been carefully sutured. Now that Colin could see the extent of her injuries, he saw how painful her fall must’ve been. “Oh man, that must hurt. Are you okay?”
“I’m perfectly fine, Colin. You didn’t have to come back here.”
“Of course I did. I was worried about you.”
“You don’t need to worry about me.”
“But I want to.” He reached out to touch her face, only to have her shrink back. Was that shame in her eyes or maybe guilt? Oh, how he wished he knew what she was thinking. He stuck his hand in his pocket instead and sat on the edge of the bed. “I care so much about you, Candy. What part of that don’t you understand?”
Dr. Hayes glanced at the two of them. “Is everything all right here? Do you prefer your husband to wait outside, Ms. Connelly?”
“He’s not my husband. He’s just a friend.”
“A friend? I’m sorry, sir, but only family is allowed back here.” The doctor gave Colin a reprimanding look. “I’ll have to ask you to return to the waiting room.”
Colin stood reluctantly and nodded. “I didn’t mean to break the rules. I just wanted to see how she was doing,” he explained to the doctor. Turning to Candy, he promised, “I’ll wait outside for you, Candy, for as long as it takes.”
As he left the exam room, he thought over his last words. Did he have what it took to wait for her to come around? He thought he had, but it was obvious she didn’t want anything to do with him. She’d shut the door on his face with the words only a friend. Perhaps it was time to hang up a “Closed” sign on the door to his heart as well.
Chapter Fourteen
Candy
Once Colin left the exam room, Candy released the breath she’d been holding. She must’ve been visibly upset because Dr. Hayes eyed her with concern etched in the lines on her forehead. Candy squeezed out a smile, trying to look optimistic despite the throbbing pain in her face. She couldn’t believe Colin had snuck back to see her and even lied in the process. In what world did he think she’d be okay with that? His presence only served to add to her discomfort.
Dr. Hayes took a seat on the black plastic chair next to the bed and pinched her thin lips together. She gave Candy a quick onceover, paying special attention to the bruise on her cheek. With a gentle voice, she remarked, “I know you said these injuries were a result of an accident, but I do need to ask you this question. Is someone hurting you, Ms. Connelly? Rest assured that this is a safe place for you to tell me.”
Candy’s brows shot up as she understood the implication behind Dr. Hayes’s question. She immediately shook her head. “This was an accident, believe me
. No one, least of all Colin, would hurt me. He’s as harmless as they come.”
Dr. Hayes relaxed considerably. “So, you really were running on the beach and tripped and crashed into some driftwood?”
“Yes. I should’ve been looking where I was going, but I wasn’t really thinking straight at the time.” Her fingers subconsciously went to her mouth, touching the spot where she could almost still sense the warmth from Colin’s lips. Heat rushed up her neck to her cheeks at the memory of their kiss. It had been wonderful, she had to admit that. So wonderful that she’d allowed herself to enjoy it.
But no more.
Being around Colin made her reckless, so reckless that she’d gotten herself hurt. She didn’t want to imagine what other regrettable things she might do because of him. It was time to set some firm boundaries, once and for all. No more emotions and no more playing around. And definitely no more throwing herself at his mouth. At least her facial injury prevented her from kissing anyone anytime soon. That was a small blessing in disguise.
“Well, thankfully your injuries weren’t worse,” Dr. Hayes continued. “It’s a good thing your friend was there to help you.”
“He wasn’t with me at the time, but he found me soon after. He really did try to help, but—it’s a long story.” She sighed, not knowing how to explain their situation. “Colin and I are like oil and vinegar—we might go well together, but we just don’t mix.”
Dr. Hayes cocked her head of frizzy blonde hair to the side and smirked. “Well, whatever it’s worth, I think you have a good man there.”
Candy bristled at Dr. Hayes’s comment. If she hadn’t known better, she would’ve thought Colin had put the doctor up to this. “I appreciate your input, but it’s a complicated matter.”