by Terina Adams
Maybe I said what I said because of the way he appeared to be crumpling inside, leaving me behind. Why should I care? I didn’t like Jax. Most of the time, I was uncomfortable around him. But other times, it felt like he was the only person who understood. Twisted logic—perhaps I was just going crazy after spending all this time with him.
I didn’t understand the look Jax gave me, but the length of time he held my eyes walked a shiver up my spine. From the stress of moments ago, it felt like all our impactful and terse words shuddered to a halt, leaving a silent space, vacant, hollow.
“I’m attending a funeral on Tuesday.” He jerked his head in the direction of the door, a reference to what Tyren told him. I hadn’t realized I was offering an olive branch, but Jax had accepted it.
“A friend of yours?”
“Not quite, but someone who deserves my respect.”
“When I met you on the train, you were exiting the cemetery. Another funeral?”
“So you did follow us.” His tone was flat, not the light flirt of catching me out on my lie. “Life’s a dangerous game.” A typical Jax response.
“You have a very dim view of it.”
“Don’t you? After everything that’s happened?”
“Sure, initially. I hated my dad for what he did and what’s happened to us, but I can’t afford to fall to pieces. Ajay needs me. And now I have to save Mum.”
“You’re willing to do that on your own?”
“If I have to. Dad could talk sense into Mum.” I stopped and flicked a look at him before continuing in a soft voice. “Now I’m not sure what he can do.”
“You don’t need him. You’ll work it out on your own.”
I laughed but it was a sorrowful sound because of how much I wanted to cry right now. I didn’t want to have to deal with this alone.
“I thought I disappointed you.”
He rubbed at his forehead, looking zapped of any smart comeback. “You frustrate me.”
“Thanks, good to know.”
“I attend those funerals to pay respects to people who didn’t believe in themselves, not enough. They were good people, but their weakness got them killed.”
“And their weakness was a lack of self-belief?”
“Discipline and self-belief. Courage will get you so far. The belief you are good enough will get you to the end.”
“Your childhood—” Oh, god, why did I have to start that conversation? The last thing I should be reminding him of was his family. “Sorry.”
“We need to go in.”
“Do we?” I wasn’t in the mood.
“That’s why you’re here.” His mood a finality.
He strode off to the computer, leaving me on the mat, powerless to protest.
When I slipped the goggles on, I was in Califax City. We moved along a crowded street. All the bots, in their nondescript jumpsuits, were heading in the opposite direction, but parted down the middle to allow us through.
Jax took hold of my hand. “Come.”
I stopped looking around or following the layout of the street. I only thought of his hand holding mine. When I looked down, I saw the muscular forearm of his avatar with its wrist of studded leather and dangerous-looking rings. It was hard to equate what I felt to what I saw through the virtual goggles. His hand was warm and firm in mine, his skin soft, everything rendered amazingly accurate, down to the protruding knuckle bones and veining. But I was looking at an animation, a brilliant adaptation of real life, but still not real life. I had to remember that.
“In here.”
Jax dragged me back to our virtual world with a gentle tug on my hand as he led me down a cobbled, narrow alleyway, past buildings slotted together like a jigsaw puzzle, metal doors of varying matte colors. Jax paused at a red door on our left. Above, the symbol of Aris glowed to life, the red of the circle appearing to drip down the wall. Within moments of standing there, the door clunked open, swinging in with a heavy, echoing metallic sound.
Inside, the walls hugged us on either side as we headed toward a bright, sunlit room. We stepped into a vast open space. Six pillars marked the corners of the hexagonal room, shooting stories high to a glass domed ceiling, which poured the sun through onto a mosaic floor. I circled the mosaic for a better look.
“We’re in a house that belongs to Aris,” I said.
Jax walked across the center of the mosaic, down the line of the scythe.
“A dangerous place for you to be if we were in game mode. We may have an alliance, but factions do not enter other factions’ strongholds, even in a neutral place such as Califax.”
“Why did you bring me here?”
“There is still much you need to learn. Since we’re within the training sim, you’re in no danger being here.”
“If we weren’t, could we still be with each other?”
“In Califax, yes, but only in public places and not all the time. The other factions must not know of the alliance. Outside of Califax, we would never meet.”
“And if we were found together?”
“We’d be killed and the Senate of Factions would have a major battle on their hands determining what our connection meant. It would likely cost more lives before they were able to assure the other factions there was no alliance between Persal and Aris, all the while executing key figures within either faction.”
“Nice game you’ve developed.”
“There’s no fun in anything easy. This is Aris HQ. Those arriving from outside Califax stay here for the time they’re in the city.”
“No motels then.”
“Factions mingle but are not allowed to share the same accommodation.”
“Does every faction have a place like this?”
“Yes.”
“Where’s Persal’s? I may need it once we’re no longer in the training sim. I gather it is one place we’re safe.”
“Yes. To attack another faction’s stronghold is a declaration of war.”
“And when factions go to war, not a lot will survive.”
Jax walked past me with a passive face—in game mode once again—and down another dark corridor. Wall panels glowed a deep gold as he went, lighting his path. The panels illuminated etchings on the walls like cave drawings, twisting lines, wrapping and swirling back on themselves, a vast elaborate design, something I’d seen before. I slowed to study the markings.
Jax returned to stand beside me. I looked down at his arm as I lifted it. There appeared no difference between the virtual and real tattoo.
“What does this mean?” I looked at the wall and then at his tattoo.
He gently withdrew his arm. “I’ve already told you.”
“Your guide when all is lost. It’s a map. To where?”
“One revelation at a time.”
He continued down the hall, then paused long enough for the door on his left to slide open. Inside, more wall panels came to life, casting a soft glow over a bed with flat pillows and dull green bedspread, the only item of furniture in the room.
My senses bounced to life as my steps slowed. “Is this your room?”
“No. This is how all the rooms in the stronghold look. Temporary accommodation doesn’t need much else. But this is not what I want to show you.”
He turned from the bed and crouched. “I wanted to show you this,” he said, placing his hand on one of the tiles. Without seeming to do anything else, he stood and looked at the floor. I followed his gaze. Then the miraculous happened. The tiling fell away as if disintegrating in on itself, creating a vortex, which swirled in a chaotic vacuum, sucking the tiles, rocks, and dust in on itself with the sound of a brick wall collapsing. More and more tiles gave way to the force of the vortex, eating up the floor. I stepped back, thinking the tiles from under my feet would go too. When the chaos settled, we were left standing at the edge of a gaping hole.
Jax placed a foot in the hole and the dark pit illuminated, showing a staircase leading down underground. I inched over and peered in as he remove
d his foot from the top step. With his foot gone, the light disappeared, and once again I was staring into a black pit.
“What was that?”
His face remained avatar passive, his voice mute.
“Jax, what was it?”
“Something you don’t need to know about just now.”
“Then why did you show me?”
Jax was saved from answering by the floor remaking itself. Like watching a film in reverse. This time, instead of the sound of destruction, it was the sound of construction, tiles sliding alongside one another, rubble reforming, stacking, and joining until the floor was remade.
There was not enough light in the room for me to read any subtlety on his avatar face. I had only questions behind my stare, but Jax’s walled expression deflected all of them before they left my mouth.
As he spun to leave, I grabbed his elbow to hold him back. “Why did you show me?”
“I don’t know.” For the first time, he sounded unsure of himself. “I shouldn’t have.”
A tug and he was free of my hold and out of the room. I quick-stepped to catch up as he led me down the dim corridor with enough time for one fleeting glimpse of the map on the wall before we were out into the lit space beneath the dome, then down another corridor. No panels glowed to life to mark our way. Instinctively, I reached out to balance myself with a hand on the wall. When my skin skimmed the smooth cool of the surface, I snapped it back, concentrating on the remnant feeling of cool on my fingertips. How did I feel that?
Ahead, a bright light flooded the corridor as Jax pushed out into the day. I hurried to catch up and found us in an alleyway with Jax striding away to the mouth of the alley like he hoped to distance himself from what he had shown me or maybe it was me he wanted to escape.
“How about we do something different, like give me a taste of game mode?”
“You’re not ready,” he barked over his shoulder as his strong, powerful legs carried him away.
“Sure I am. I know a kick or two.”
“You’re not ready.” Yelled with a harsh finality.
“So you keep saying. The monotony is getting boring.”
That got him. He gave me his attention. “Then we need to increase your training.”
“I’m not scared. Enough with the training. Let’s get this started. So what if I’m out of the game after one session?”
He spun so fast I ran into him. “Do you really want that?”
“Sure. I’m getting fed up with your somber mood. At least if I was fighting I’d be doing something exciting rather than listening to your monologue.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking.”
“Then how about you show me?”
“If that’s what you want.”
The scene around me changed. We remained within the alley, only the surroundings became more detailed, more alive. The sun cast shadows along the wall, now rich with weathered stone and textual irregularities. Fissures ran like rivers down the mortar, spreading across the stones in their own haphazard fashion. The giant moon hovered behind us, the blazing sun low in front. The cobbles beneath my feet were textured with grooves, cracks, and dirt. Staring at the dirt, my mouth filled with the taste of dust.
To the left of my vision, information appeared. As Jax had said, I saw the main factions’ symbols to the right of my field of vision.
“What’s all this running down the left and right side of my vision?”
“Come, we need to get moving. There’s danger standing still.”
“How do I get rid of it?”
“It’s stats and other vitals. And you don’t, you get used to it.”
“It’s a pain in the ass.”
“Move it, Sable.”
“Why?”
“You got what you wanted. We’re in game mode, which makes you very vulnerable. The computer can sense your location. It will send an attack any minute.”
“Cool, let’s begin.”
But Jax was already striding off down the alley to the entrance. I had to jog to keep up but only made it halfway when a shrill cry rent the air and a figure dropped in front of me, blocking my escape. The warrior was perfectly rendered, no nondescript jumpsuit man anymore. He wore an armor of deep green, his face covered by a mask. At his waist, tucked in his thick leather belt, was a blade, which he withdrew once my eyes settled on it.
He swiped the blade back and forth in front of his body with a sharp whistle as the blade sliced through the air. I felt the ripple of disturbance against my skin.
I shrieked and jumped back as my pulse swished through my ears. I didn’t have a weapon. I was unprepared.
The warrior lunged for me. I only had enough wits to leap to the side. I crashed into the wall and staggered on my feet while small chips of brick work came loose and scattered on the cobbles around me. The warrior spun and lunged again. His sword sliced with the whoosh of a sharp blade cutting the air. I ducked and shrieked, useless against such onslaught. Although my mind seized with panic, my concentration funneled to this single moment. It helped whirl my brain into keep-me-safe plans.
This is a game. This is a game. Virtual was too real. My mind wouldn’t believe my mantra.
Another swing with his blade and I ducked and dived to the other wall. Halfway there, something hard drove into my ribs, and I was sent tumbling sideways with a searing pain in my side. I hit the cobbles with a hard thud, which forced out all my breath.
The feel of wind, and I rolled to the side without thinking, while behind, a high-pitched chink as the blade sliced into the cobbles. Even the sound effects were too real to ignore.
I scrambled to my feet with the wall as my aid. My senses were attuned to the smallest breath of wind. Luckily I wasn’t paralyzed by fear, but my mind couldn’t fabricate a way out. Somehow, amongst the chaos, instinct took over and I balanced myself for defense.
The warrior dived toward me, and I lashed out with a kick designed to meet with his chin, but he dodged at the last, grabbed my shin, and hurled me across to the other wall, which I hit with a bone-jarring thud. He was nothing but a bot, so this shouldn’t be hurting at all. Why was I hurting?
Aching in too many places, I rolled over on the cobbles as the warrior loomed over me. A part of me wanted to climb to my feet and continue, but I wasn’t sure if my body would allow me to do so. Did this mean I was out of the game?
He remained passive, blade by his side like he’d won and the game had finished. I squinted up at his silhouetted body as a terrible itching creeped up my arm. I glanced down to see my skin writhing as if a million insects crawled underneath. As I stared, splits appeared, forming gaping wounds, and little black beetles spewed out, dripping blobs of crimson blood.
I screamed and screamed as a bolt of pain lanced me through the skull. I curled up in agony while the split in my forearm lengthened down to my fingers. The beetles and my blood oozed onto the cobbles. I could feel the tacky wetness of the crimson liquid on my legs.
My vision blurred, but the pain radiating through my mind kept me conscious. My head drooped, too heavy to keep up.
A clatter brought me back, and I forced my head up to see the blade lying on the cobbles and Jax riding the warrior’s back. Unarmed, the warrior thrashed with his arms, but Jax leaned over and sunk his teeth into the warrior’s shoulder as he pulled a small blade from a sheath.
The air was filled with cries of torment and stilled by imminent death. I tried to escape this place by curling inward into a ball, covering my ears, and scrunching my eyes tight. There was no escape. I was forced to endure, on the cold, hard cobbles, a moment of sustained terror.
Finally I thought to take my goggles from my eyes, but hands yanked me from the ground by my shoulders and pushed me hard against the wall. I moaned from the impact as my breath whooshed out and my head throbbed. I squinted at Jax with faulty vision as darkness threatened to take hold. All I saw was blood.
My head bobbed up and down a few times while I struggled to maintain m
y grip on consciousness. I opened my eyes and attempted to focus on him. But the horror of the vision made me recoil. Jax’s face was covered with blood. It ran as trails down his chin, smeared his cheeks and neck. It was on his hands, his chest, and dripped from the blade of the weapon he’d re-sheathed.
I tried not to see, tried not to believe, tried not to smell the metallic scent of blood.
He shook me when my eyes closed and never opened.
He yelled in my face, “Look at me.”
With a rough hand, he tilted my chin up. “Look at me.” His demand harsh.
I obeyed.
His dark eyes were shot through with red. He grasped my head between his bloody palms and leaned in close, his chest heaving from the exertion of the fight, his metallic-smelling breath bathing my face.
“This is what I am.” Intent for me to see, the pressure he placed on my temples hurt. “This is the face of Aris.” He rested his forehead on mine and whispered though clenched teeth like it pained him to say it. “This is my true nature.”
At once he released me and staggered away until he fell against the wall on the other side of the alley. My head swam and my vision tunneled. I wanted to rip my goggles off and escape this nightmare, but I was powerless. But that can’t be who you are was all I thought as I slid down the wall, consciousness fading fast.
Chapter 16
I roused myself and slowly pushed upright only to be punished by a dull throb in my head. Hands cradling my head, I moaned. This was the second extreme headache I’d suffered in a matter of weeks, a nd the inside of my mouth felt like I’d been drinking sand. I inched myself up to sitting, determined to get a drink, when I noticed the black bedspread. Mine was green, one of the few things I’d brought with me from my old life. This wasn’t my bed. I peered around the room, seeing furniture that didn’t belong. Jesus, this wasn’t my room.