Dominus

by Terina Adams

  “I’m a different girl from the one you knew.”

  Dad’s face emerged from behind his hand as he lifted his head to look at me. “I knew that the moment I saw you.”

  “I’m going to do what I think best.”

  There was no reply he could make. He knew it. I saw it on his face.

  “I don’t question your love for me.”

  “I want to keep you safe, always.”

  “You can’t, Dad. You never could. Now you just have to believe in me.”

  He touched the glass dividing us. “I do, honey. I’ve always believed in you.” The tips of his fingers turned white pressed up against the glass.

  Damn stupid tears. I gave myself the time to swallow the blockage in my throat. “I’ll never forgive you for what you did to Jax’s family, but I can’t leave you here. I’m going to finish this, Dad. I have to.”

  “I know you do, because you’re my daughter.”

  Chapter 32

  Why did Elva have to be the first person I saw every time I came over to the apartment?

  Her lip curled on seeing me. “Shouldn’t you be running to Holden? Didn’t he tell you how toxic we are?”

  “He never said that.”

  “He didn’t need to. It’s in his eyes.”

  She turned away to protect her vulnerability, but it was too late. I had already seen the wound in her eyes. I had thought they were doing fine after our session in Dominus. It seemed I was wrong. What had happened between then and now to hurt her?

  “Holden is—”

  “Save it, Mary Poppins, it’s too late.” She glided up the stairs with her typical feline grace, passing Jax coming down. He stopped to watch her pass, then descended, eyes fixed on me like I was the cause of Elva’s distress.

  “It wasn’t me. Being so close to Holden’s not working for her.”

  “She’s stronger than you think. She’ll do what needs doing regardless of what she feels.”

  “I will never understand how easily you people suppress your emotions.”

  “Because there are bigger things at stake than love.”

  “I’m only playing Carter’s game because of love.”

  “Then let it make you stronger.”

  An olive branch? I’d take it as that. My love for Ajay and Mum would make me stronger. It had to.

  “Shall we begin?” Jax called me forward with a curl of his finger. “Just remember, no matter what happens today, you’re still capable. Shifting is an extra gift and not the sum total of who you are.”

  “You know I will be gutted if I can’t do it.”

  “Then you will have to deal with that and move on. You can’t change whatever outcome is about to happen.”

  Was he so sure I would fail?

  I must’ve relayed the thought in my expression, because he took a step back as he glanced away, hands finding their way to his hips, looking like he wanted to say something but had no suitable reply.

  I’m not as big a failure as you think.

  “I know how much you want this. I feel it.” He placed a hand over his heart when he said it, and I felt swept up in an invisible embrace. So simple a gesture and yet with it he made me feel heard, felt, understood—my enemy, Aris. “I’d be the same too. But you must be prepared to fail."

  “I always fail. This time I can’t.”

  From feeling cocooned by his gesture of moments ago, my throat choked up, and my heart felt squeezed, making it feel like I was sucking in air through a pinhole.

  “No one’s done level five on their second go in virtual. You did it and succeeded.”

  I rolled my head back as tension wound like a coil inside of me.

  “Don’t wall up, Sable. It’s true. You’re more capable than you wish to accept. No one will judge you for not being able to shift. No one except you, that is.”

  “Judgment is not my fear.”

  “I know,” he said as he came alongside me. “It’s about relying on yourself, surviving without help. I understand that desire. It’s my own. But you will never survive Dominus on your own.”

  “Nor Carter.”

  His eyes were so dark. This close, they reminded me of black holes, where nothing escaped. Only this time he opened the shutters and revealed himself to me. I saw fragility, vulnerability, and fear but also strength, determination, and humility. After long seconds, he looked ahead at the couch. If not him to break the link, it would have been me. The moments between us became too intense, too confusing. It would be easy to fall in love with him and yet it was the hardest thing to do. Factions, Dominus, our worlds, and war stood between us.

  “Like your ability, it’s not something you will get straightaway because you have to learn to see beyond this world. You have to learn to focus a different way, to see with different eyes. The dimensions are seen as a series of bands. We are surrounded by them, but only those capable of shifting can see them if they choose. Close your eyes.”

  Staring into the black space behind my eyelids, I heard the thrash of my pulse sending my blood through my ears, felt the heavy beat of my heart pounding against my rib cage. I needed to be able to do this.

  “I want you to take a few deep breaths to relax yourself. When you feel calm enough, I want you to open your eyes. Try not to focus on what you see in front of you. Allow your eyes to remain soft. Don’t try and see detail. How do you reach for factional nature?”

  “I focus on the walls inside my mind that form a barrier to my ability. Once I see them in my mind’s eye, I can pull them back.”

  “Try to do the same for releasing your vision from everything around you. Don’t try to look at what is there; focus on nothing in particular. When done right, your surroundings will wobble and then slowly compress. Diagonal rays will dissect your vision, interfering with what you see around you. Then the room will disappear and all you will see are bands like horizontally stacked folders. That’s when your vision has slipped from reality to the dimensions. After three slow breaths, I want you to open your eyes.”

  I looked inward as I always did when I searched my factional nature, being careful not to touch the walls of my barrier; I didn’t want to be grappling with my ability while trying to see the dimensions. With each inhale, I focused on diving deeper inside of myself, holding the breath for as long as I could to force my heart rate to calm, my nerves to soothe.

  At the end of three breaths, I opened my eyes and saw the couch opposite me. I tried not to look at the detail, like the color or pattern of the weave. I shifted my focus to the armrests and back of the couch, but my eyes were drawn to the bright-colored cushions plumped at the corner. Was that Elva’s feminine touch?

  Jesus, stop that.

  I screwed my eyes to blur my vision, but nothing appeared in place of the couch, no horizontal veining or stacked folders, just a blurry couch. My eyes then wandered to the lush black throw draped over the left armrest. We had a similar throw once upon a time ago before we were forced to change address.

  God dammit. You’re doing it again.

  I delved further into my mind and hit the protective wall. Inside, my factional nature stirred, rippling along the seam between freedom and confinement. I felt it as a wave bumping against a pier. I snapped my consciousness back. In doing so, I became aware of the couch again.

  “It’s not working.”

  “You haven’t given it enough time.”

  “I can’t stop staring at the couch.”

  “It won’t just happen. It takes time and practice.”

  I turned back to the couch, closed my eyes, and counted to ten under my breath. But the frustration was already bleeding through. I fisted my palms, digging my nails into the flesh. Concentrate. When I opened my eyes, the bright cushions called my attention. “How can you look without focusing?”

  “It will come to you.”

  “What sort of an answer is that? I see a couch. That’s all.”

  Jax paced back and sat down on the single-seater behind us. “Keep trying
.”

  He was right. If I wanted to make this work, I had to try again and again.

  And I did, until the light streaming through the skylights on the cathedral ceiling turned a murky gray. And in all that time, with Jax sitting silent and patient behind me like a panther, I tried, but all I saw was the couch, the cushions with their tasseled borders, and the throw with the last two weaves loosened.

  The weight of my heart slid through to my stomach. I slumped down into the chair adjacent and finally managed to stare without focusing but only because I was lost in my disappointment.

  I’d failed. I was not one of the few from my world who had a factional nature and was able to shift. Never had failure left me so empty.

  Jax moved in my periphery, his jeans making a shushing sound on the fabric of the sofa as he sat forward.

  “It’s not going to happen,” I said. I could hear the desolation in my voice.

  “You should’ve noticed something by now. Even just a glimpse. When your factional nature comes through, the sight that enables you to shift does too. You would’ve noticed it already.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I had hoped it would be different for you. You needed to try, at least, to convince yourself you did your best.”

  I could not have found the strength to rise out of my seat. All I wanted to do was curl into a ball and leave fate to swallow me whole.

  “It’s not a failure, Sable. Few from your world are capable. It doesn’t make any of them weaker. And now you know. It’s time to move on.”

  I turned away, curling my legs up on the sofa so he couldn’t even see my profile. If I could move, I would leave the apartment, as I couldn’t bear to share my failure. No matter what he said, nothing would lighten the heaviness in my chest.

  “We’re going in again the day after tomorrow.”

  If there was one thing to bring me back, it was that. “Dominus? Why?” I said, unfolding myself as I turned back to face him.

  “Carter’s flown in more recruits. Some have already arrived. The rest will be here tonight.”

  “Other people from this world?”

  “People we’ve recruited over time.”

  “How many?”

  At the edge of his seat, Jax looked ready to pounce into the air. Flowing out of him and into me was the indomitable force of inevitability, the tsunami of an impending catastrophe. “Fifty all up.”

  “Fifty. What are we supposed to do?”

  “We play against each other, Aris and Persal.”

  I palmed my mouth, unable to speak.

  “The objective will be tough. But I’ll ensure strict rules.”

  “What factions are they from?”

  “Mostly Aris and Persal, but there are a few Phonus and Negal.”

  “Who will choose sides?”

  “The other factions can choose their side, since there is not enough of them to form their own party.”

  “What level?”

  “Carter has given me some leeway. Nothing below level seven.”

  “What’s the kill quota for level seven?” With those words slipping from my mouth, I collapsed forward. My stomach felt as though someone had turned it into origami.

  Jax leaned down too, lowering to my level, elbows spearing into his knees. “The way through this is with control. You annihilate the NPCs. That’s your kill quota. I’ll keep the others away from you.”

  I closed my eyes, shielding myself behind my hands. “You can’t, Jax. How can you do that when we’re fighting on opposing sides?”

  “Sable, look at me.” A command, but offered in a tone that sounded more like a request.

  I peeled myself away from my hands. There was no point hiding or stopping the end now racing toward us.

  “You can’t leave Dominus, Sable. Not until you master your factional nature. Tomorrow, you’ve got to let it go.”

  The earnestness of Jax’s expression made me want to crawl onto his lap and bury my head into his chest. Dad would look at me like that, like he could give me the best parts of himself, his courage and his unconquerable will, when I fell apart.

  “You’ve got to embrace who you are. It’s the only way to break free of Dominus. It’s the only way you will win.”

  The truth was the only gift he could give me, and nothing frightened me more.

  Chapter 33

  Too many strange faces stared back at me. How many of the people standing on the mat saw this as an honor, thought they were the lucky few who’d made it this far? We were about to fight to survive or give our lives to Dominus. How many thought about that? We were now allies or enemies, but none of us were given the chance to choose that position.

  Dressed in the regulatory white jumpsuits, we blended with the white background. Our heads and the silver dots were the only things that stood out, a bunch of dismembered body parts hovering in the air.

  Jax joined us on the mat, positioning himself center. Everyone else gathered in a circle around him. Male, female, large, small, dark-skinned, or light, Dominus had no borders, neither did prejudice, hatred, and deception, nor conviction, love, and loyalty. Hopefully everyone present tended toward the latter traits rather than the former.

  “As you know, the strategy for this game has changed compared to what you’ve played before. The enemy are no longer just NPCs. You will also be pitted against PCs, each other. Persal and Aris have the greatest numbers; therefore they will be the two opposing parties. Those of you who are not of those factions may choose the faction you wish to fight alongside.”

  Jax had made it clear to all fifty players, before they committed the time and expense of coming here, the strategic change. All fifty came. Not sure what that said about the players or the addictiveness of the game.

  “The objective of today’s game is extraction. The Senate of Factions has gathered at the top of the Veulta Plaza to celebrate decades of rule. Invitation is exclusive and security is tight. The objective is to remove the four senate members from the Veulta and secure them in a defined location.”

  Jax focused on Holden. “Your party will be on the offensive. It is up to Persal to extract the senate members. Aris will try and stop you. The winner is the party who succeeds in their objective. Remember all four members must be extracted alive. We enter at level seven, which means your kill quota is thirty. We also have a time limit of two hours.”

  “But how are we supposed to play against each other?” The question came from a small brunette standing before Malvo.

  “By being smart and following the rules I have put in place. I have changed the game mode in order for today’s session to work. Your kill quota will be earned from the NPC players, but you will be forced to engage with PC players as well. Fight skills and nonlethal use of weaponry is permitted in those cases. Leave your factional nature to the NPCs. Once in the game, you will all notice you have an extra belt carrying tags, which look like flat black discs. You are to use these on PCs. Once you have gained the upper hand forcing your opponent’s surrender, tag them with one of the flat discs and this will remove them from the game even if their kill quota has not been reached. I must warn you there will be consequences if you are removed from the game early.”

  “Such as?” I said.

  Jax decided to look at everyone else when he gave his reply. “Most of the usual, but nothing permanent or life-threatening. It may lay you up for a few days though.”

  “Well, that’s a relief,” I breathed, not bothering to hide the sarcasm.

  “Do we still need to reach our kill quota?” someone asked.

  “Yes. To make it easier for everyone to distinguish NPCs from us, I’ve marked the NPCs.” He looked at Holden. “A specialist tactical unit will form part of the NPCs. They will provide most of the security at the Veulta along with my party.” Directing what he said to Holden had to mean the specialist tactical unit had some meaning to Holden. Dominus was a simulation of their real world, which meant so was the specialist tactical unit. Was
this Jax giving Holden a nod to what was ahead?

  “You will be given limited control over the game mode in order to make necessary plans to meet your objective. If you do not succeed with your objective within the two-hour limit, the win goes to Aris. Whether your party wins or loses, all players will be able to exit the game without too many severe consequences. Any questions?” Jax took everyone in with one sweep of his head.

  Silence was his answer.

  “Keep an eye on your stats. Don’t let anything get out of hand.” With the last comment, he cast a quick glance toward me, meaning if anyone was going to lose it and cause mass devastation, it was me.

  “Play safe, everyone. Let’s begin.”

  When my goggles came down, I found myself in familiar territory. To the right of my vision, the digital counter was already running down. To the left, the number thirty glared out at me. The number of kills I needed, unless I was eliminated from the game first, the most likely thing to happen to me. I had to be the least experienced, which equated to the worst player here.

  It took me seconds to recognize the street even though I’d only been here once before. “Persal HQ,” I said, running my eyes up the face of the headquarters.

  Without a word, Holden strode across the street, fiddling with the belt at his waist, not something that was normally there. I glanced down at my own new addition to my avatar. The flat black discs Jax had spoken about hung from small metal clasps. Before entering the building, Holden glanced over his shoulder. “I’ve tweaked the game mode, which will enable any who are not Persal into Persal HQ without triggering an outside attack.”

  He headed into the building with the rest of us filing in behind. Carter had made sure there was an even split of Persal to Aris players, but the few Phonus and Negal unbalanced the game. More seemed to have sided with Aris, which would have something to do with the Aris party having three native players in Jax, Elva, and Tyren as opposed to Persal’s one.