Enduring Act (The Survivor's duet Book 2)

by Heather D'Agostino

  “Thanks.” I slid it closer and lifted a bite to my lips. It tasted heavenly, and it was the first time anyone other than me had fed Ava since she’d been home. Don’t get me wrong, the other women here would help if I let them, but I want to do as much as I can for my daughter. She had such a rough start to the world.

  I finished my pie about the same time that Ava finished her bottle. Blake waved me off as he set the empty bottle on the table, and lifted Ava to his shoulder. She settled in, nuzzling his neck as he patted her back. After releasing a healthy burp, she yawned and her eyes fluttered closed.

  Blake stood, and carried her into the living room. I followed, not really sure of what to make of all this. He sat in the rocker, and began humming as he rocked my daughter. I was stunned, so stunned that I didn’t realize that I was crying. Donna handed me a tissue and hugged my shoulder as she whispered, “They’re not all bad,” in my ear. I pressed my lips together and sat down on the couch.

  “You’re a natural with her,” I mused.

  “My professor in med school told me I missed my calling. She swore I should have been a pediatrician. I wanted to go the neuro route though.” He laughed.

  “She was right. You were great with her.” I stared off in the direction of the hallway. I wasn’t sure where to go from here. It seemed like we were at a crossroads and I was driving. I didn’t know if I needed to turn, brake, or go straight ahead.

  “There’s no rush here.” Blake swallowed. I guess he could see the struggle on my face. “We can go as slow as you need. Do you understand me, Brooke?” He lifted my chin with his finger.

  I blinked a few times to clear the tears. “Yes.” It came out like a whisper.

  “I want this to work, and it will, just trust me.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips across my forehead. They were soft, and my whole body shuddered at their contact. “I’m gonna go, but I’ll be back tomorrow.” He pulled back and smiled as he tucked a loose hair behind my ear. “I’m glad you got your papers. Happy Thanksgiving.” He waved, and then stepped through the front door, just leaving me there in a daze.

  Blake was like no other person that I’d ever met, and we’d only scratched the surface.

  ooooooooo

  After Blake left, we each helped Donna clean up the dining room. It was getting dark out, and everyone was sleepy from eating so much. Ava stayed quiet, so I used the time to sit in the family room and read. The house seemed cozier that night, and I wondered if it had anything to do with my mood. It was the first time in a long time that I wasn’t scared. The freedom of knowing I was no longer tied to Warren opened a part of me I’d forgotten was there. Possibility and hope bloomed inside me, and for the first time since moving in here, I was excited for the next day. Blake said he’d be back, but I wasn’t sure what that meant.

  I’m not sure when it happened, but I fell asleep in the chair in the corner. I was awoken by Ava demanding her midnight bottle. Someone had covered me with a blanket and when I stood, I almost tripped.

  I shuffled into the kitchen, half asleep, to mix a bottle. Then I headed to my room. Ava’s cries were getting louder, causing me to move faster. When I reached her, I changed her diaper and then settled into the rocker in the corner. Her mouth opened as her hands reached for the bottle. As I rocked, I held her close; she smelled like Blake. His cologne must have rubbed off on her sleeper when he was holding her earlier. I closed my eyes and pictured the two of them in the family room. He was so good with her, and it made my heart swell.

  ooooooooo

  Blake

  I felt like a teenager again every time I thought about Brooke. I don’t know what it was, but just being around her was enough at times. I meant it when I told her I’d be back today.

  I grabbed two blankets and a Thermos of coffee before rushing out of my apartment. I had the day off, and planned to spend as much of it as I could with her. I tossed the items in the back of my Audi, and drove to Emily’s House. It wasn’t that far, and when I got there I parked right in front on the street. I debated for a moment, but then decided to leave the car running as I rushed up the steps. I knocked quickly, looked around, and waited for the door to swing open. It was chilly out, but not too cold.

  “Morning.” Donna smiled when she answered the door. “Wanna come in?”

  “I left the car running.” I glanced over my shoulder, then back at Donna. “Can you let Brooke know that I’m here, and for her and Ava to dress warm?” I rubbed my hands together before stuffing them in my pockets.

  “Brooke! Blake’s here! Wear a coat!” she called over her shoulder before looking back at me and grinning.

  “What’s so funny?” I gave myself the once over before peering at my reflection in a nearby window. I looked ok. Nothing was out of place.

  “Nothing,” Donna mused. I hated when women did that; tell you it was nothing when it was most certainly something.

  Before I could think too much about it, Brooke appeared behind Donna. She was holding Ava, and missing a coat. “Grab your coat. Get one for her too.” I nodded at Ava. Brooke’s forehead crinkled. “A car carrier for her too.” I rocked back on my heels.

  “I’m not big on surprises,” Brooke mumbled.

  “We’re going for a drive. Not a surprise.” I smiled. “Hurry up. Car’s running.” She disappeared for a moment, and then reappeared holding Ava’s car seat. It had some fluffy cover over it that was zipped up under her chin. Brooke was wrapped in a winter coat and some Uggs.

  “Is this ok?” She glanced from me to the ground as she motioned to herself.

  “Perfect.” I held out my hand and attempted to extract the baby carrier. “I can buckle this in.” I smiled at her.

  “Oh, ok.” She released it, and followed me to the car. “Is this yours?” She opened the passenger door as I opened one of the back ones.

  “Yeah. I don’t drive much because I live close to the hospital.” I clicked the seatbelt over Ava’s carrier, tugged it to make sure it was snug, and then closed the door. “Hop in.” I held her door as she slipped inside. After closing it, I jogged around to the driver’s side.

  “This is nice.” She shivered against the cold as I put the car in drive.

  “You haven’t seen anything yet.” I grinned as I pushed a few buttons to turn on her seat warmer. After a few moments, she shifted in her seat. “Feels good, right?” I glanced at her as I maneuvered through traffic.

  “Un huh.” She leaned back and sighed before turning to stare out the window. “Where are we going?”

  “Not far,” I mused. I know she said she didn’t like surprises, but I didn’t want to ruin what I had planned. “Just trust me, ok?” I looked over quickly, before making a turn to head out of town.

  ooooooooo

  Brooke

  I didn’t like surprises. I told him this, but he wouldn’t give. My heart thundered in my chest as we drove farther away from town. Part of me was scared out of my mind. If something happened, I was too far away from anyone or anything that I knew. The other part of me said this was Blake, and he’d never hurt me. As much as I wanted to listen to that part, the scared part was winning. I just didn’t know what to make of the situation. Ava was sound asleep in the backseat, completely oblivious to everything around her.

  “We’re almost there. I promise.” Blake made another turn, this time onto a gravel drive. Signs for Macadown Beach appeared along the road as we bumped along.

  “The beach?” I furrowed my brow as the road ended in a gravel parking area.

  “I thought it would be nice to get away from the city for the day.” Blake smiled and then his face fell in defeat. “Is this a bad idea?”

  “No. I’m just surprised is all.” I stared out the windshield at the gray sky. Gulls flew sporadically and waves crashed in the distance. It was a gloomy day for the beach. “It’s kinda cold.” I wrapped my arms around myself.

  “I’ll keep you warm.” Blake pushed open his door, and climbed out. I sat there staring for a moment as
he unbuckled Ava’s carrier and came around to my door. He had blankets draped over one arm and Ava on the other. It was actually sweet the way he was trying to do everything.

  He set the carrier down as he opened my door. “If you’re not enjoying yourself within a few minutes, we can leave.” His face looked sad, like he was disappointed in my reaction.

  “It’s not that I want to leave, I’ve just never had anyone do anything like this for me.” I smiled as I stood up and pulled my coat tighter.

  “It’s empty this time of year. We’ll have the beach to ourselves.” Blake picked Ava back up, adjusted the items in his arms, and then reached for my hand. “Stop worrying for a day. Let me show you what life can be like. Just let go. I’ll be your safety net.”

  The fear seemed to leave, but was replaced by something else… hope, maybe? My heart sped up as he helped me over the dunes and the sight before me took my breath away.

  Chapter 16

  Brooke

  Blake had already been here. He’d planned this out. Sitting on the sand, a few feet in front of us was a plaid blanket. There was a basket in the middle holding it in place. He led me closer before setting Ava’s carrier down on the corner beside him. When I gave him an odd look, he brushed me off.

  “I’ll watch her for now. She’s sleeping, and this morning is about you.” His head dipped as a smile started to form. “Hungry?” He opened the basket and started lifting things out. “I’ve got bagels, scones, and croissants. I wasn’t sure what you’d like.”

  “A bagel is fine,” I murmured. I’d never had a man prepare any breakfast of sorts.

  “What do you really want, Brooke? Fine is not my goal here. I’m looking for ‘great’.” He laughed as he stared at me. “Take your time and think about it.”

  I pressed my lips together as thoughts of Warren floated through my head. He’d always criticized me when I ate. He’d tell me to eat less, or I’d get fat. He portioned my food when we were first married until he ‘taught me’ how to eat.

  “Whatever you’re thinking about, stop.” He gently touched my arm. “What do you want to eat?”

  I swallowed. “I’ll take a little of each, please.”

  “I can do that.” Blake chuckled as he lifted a paper plate out of the basket and began cutting the pastries in half. “Here ya go.” He handed me the plate before reaching for a Styrofoam cup. “Coffee?” He opened the Thermos that he’d carried from the car, and poured hot liquid into the cup before handing it over.

  “There’s cream in this?” I was confused. He always drank his coffee black.

  “That’s the way you drink it, right?” He peeked in on Ava before looking back at me.

  “Yes, but…” I pinched my mouth shut. I didn’t want to ruin this.

  “Stop,” he repeated softly. “I’ll tell you this as much as I need to. This is about you, not me.” He pointed to himself. “I can drink it with cream, I just prefer not to.”

  I sipped the coffee. It felt good against the cold breeze coming off the water. The waves crashed in the distance, muffling the sound of my pounding heart. We sat there in silence munching away on our breakfast. We both had our knees bent as we stared at the sun trying to peek through the clouds. “I’ve always loved the beach.” I sighed as I finished my bagel.

  “Did you used to come here a lot?” Blake glanced at me.

  “When I was a kid. Warren didn’t like the sand, so we never came here,” I grumbled.

  “You didn’t come by yourself?” Blake turned toward me slightly.

  “Wasn’t allowed to.” I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around my knees. “I wasn’t allowed to do a lot of things. Shopping for example. I wasn’t allowed to go out shopping alone, only with him.”

  “Have you been out shopping since moving into the house?” He finished his breakfast, and placed the plate back in the basket.

  “A few times.” I smiled as I thought about the day Donna took me out to buy baby stuff. I hadn’t really been out much since she’d been born.

  “I have next Tuesday off. Would that work?” He thumbed through the calendar on his phone.

  “What?” I was confused.

  “I can babysit. You and one of the other ladies can have a girls day.” He shrugged as if it was no big deal, but this was a very big deal to me.

  “Um,” I stammered. I was caught so off guard it wasn’t even funny.

  “Just think about it.” He smiled as he tapped away on his phone. “I booked the time for you, so if you decide not to go, we can grab lunch or something.”

  “Ok,” I mumbled as I twisted my hands together. I didn’t know what to do at the moment. Ava was sleeping, we’d finished our food, and I was so out of my element.

  “Relax.” Blake rubbed my arm gently. “I can feel the tension all over you. This isn’t a test here. I’m not trying to trick you, or catch you in any kind of trap. I’m trying to teach you. I want you to see that what you went through isn’t normal. Are there bad men out there? Yes. I’m sure Warren’s not the only one, but there are more of us ‘good guys’ than there are bad. I want to give you what he robbed you of. You’re not going to upset me or offend me by reacting genuinely. If you don’t like something, then tell me.” His voice was soft, but held authority.

  “I’m sorry.” I sighed. “This is new, and you don’t understand. He ‘trained’ me to react the way I do. It‘s going to take time and more than a few dates to undo the years of brainwashing I’ve had.”

  “You seem to be making good progress. Donna’s got you recognizing that it was brainwashing.” He picked at a thread on the blanket.

  “Donna’s been helping me with a lot. I’ve learned that I need to be patient and to listen to what my head is telling me. It might not make sense at the moment, but usually our instincts are right.” I stared at the water. The push and pull of the waves reminded me of my thoughts. I felt like I was being pushed and pulled in a lot of different directions. I’ve learned to try and go with it for the most part. The crash of the waves was like the noise in my head. Every time I tried to make a decision about something there was always noise to go along with it. I’ve learned over the last couple of weeks how to turn that off, but sometimes the noise seems more powerful than me.

  “What are you thinking about?” Blake nudged my shoulder. “I can see the wheels turning as we sit here.”

  “Not much,” I murmured.

  “Honesty, Brooke. Be honest with me. Don’t worry about how I’ll react. I’m not going to punish you like Warren did, no matter what.” He turned slightly and tucked a hair behind my ear.

  I took a big breath and closed my eyes before letting it out. “I was thinking about you, me, what we are, if I’m ready for that, if I even know what that is,” I whispered. “If I want that.” I swallowed against the idea. Did I want Blake to keep coming around? I enjoyed spending time with him, but did I want more? Could I handle more?

  “I know you just got your papers yesterday, but you left your husband a long time ago.” Blake reached over and placed his hand on top of mine. It was warm and strong. My pulse picked up more, and my breath caught. “When did you stop loving him?” He stared at my eyes for a moment before searching my face for truth.

  “The first time he sent me to the hospital.” Tears filled my eyes. “He got mad at me one night. He was late, and I ate without him. I’d left him food on a plate in the fridge. He came into the living room where I was watching TV and yanked me out of the chair by my arm so hard, he pulled my shoulder out of the socket, then he blamed me for letting it happen. I remember calling a cab because he wouldn’t drive me to the ER, and I couldn’t drive myself. I lied and told the intake nurse I’d fallen.” I stared out at the waves. The sky was starting the darken, and it seemed to match my melancholy mood.

  “You became property to him. Something to control. That’s not love or marriage.” Blake reached up and gently cupped my chin in his palm. He lightly turned my head until I was staring right into his eyes. “
I would never want a woman as property. Marriage is a partnership. I want you to know that no matter what happens here, I will never ever inflict pain on you. Whether it’s physical or mental, you will never be punished by me. When spouses disagree, they talk and work it out; nothing warrants any type of punishment.” He leaned in and rested his forehead against mine. His breath feathered across my lips, and his nose brushed mine softly. We stayed there just soaking in the moment, eyes closed, listening to the waves crash in the distance. Our breathing increased the longer we stayed there. The tension rose, and I thought I may succumb to it and pull away, but I forced myself to let the moment play out. Just as the first snowflake fell, Blake’s lips brushed across mine.

  He started to pull back, but stopped himself, feathering them over mine once more. Within a moment his palm moved to my cheek, then neck as his lips parted and sealed more fully over mine. It was a kiss like no other, and despite how much it scared me, it thrilled me just the same. I hadn’t been kissed like this in so long. Warren kissed me when we were first dating, but it quickly changed and became more of an obligation than romance. This, this was different. I could feel everything he was trying to tell me in that moment. The way he threaded his fingers in my hair, the way his lips moved, the way he sighed when he pulled away. It was as if he was telling me all the things he couldn’t find words for, and I understood him.

  “Was that ok?” He shifted on the blanket and smiled when a snowflake hit my nose.

  “Yeah.” I nodded. I wanted to say more, but I didn’t have the words. How do you tell someone that they seem too perfect? How do you let yourself believe that reality really is real, and you’re not dreaming? How do you let yourself love again?