Chapter 21
Brooke
When Blake dropped me off at the house this afternoon, Amy was waiting on the porch. As soon as I climbed the steps, she jumped up and began firing questions at me. “Are you two dating? Where did you go? What’s he really like? Has he kissed you yet?” She grinned at me, bouncing on her toes as she clasped her hands in front of her. You would think she was a teenager, not a woman in her late twenties.
I laughed as I waved at Blake pulling away from the curb. I could feel my face heating, and I wanted to get inside before he noticed. “Can we go in? It’s cold out here.” I shivered as I pulled the front door open.
“I guess.” Amy shrugged. “You aren’t getting off the hook that easy though.” She giggled and I turned to look back at Blake. He was down the road a bit, but I could still see the lights of the truck. “There is so something going on with you two.” She knocked my shoulder before I stepped through the door, and I knew she wasn’t letting this go until I told her something.
Once inside, I hung up my coat and scarf, and put my boots away. I was doing anything and everything to avoid Amy’s interrogation. When I stepped around the corner from the coat closet, Amy was standing there with her arms across her chest and tapping her foot. “What?” I shrugged.
“Could you take any longer?” She rolled her eyes. “I need to know what he’s like when he’s out on a date. I haven’t been on a date in years, not a real one. My ex won’t leave me alone long enough to have any kind of relationship.” She sighed.
“I don’t know if we’re dating. I mean, we’ve been hanging out. He says he wants more, but I don’t know what I want.” I shuffled over to the couch and sat down.
“Do you like hanging out with him?” Amy touched my knee.
“Sure. He’s sweet, and kind, and patient. I like the way he makes me feel.” I smiled dreamily as I thought about our morning on the beach, and then breakfast at the diner. The fact that he didn’t flip out when I told him about my dream was good too. “We’ve kissed…twice.” My face heated. I could feel my heart starting to race and my neck heating too.
“A real one?” Amy grinned as she leaned closer. I felt like a preteen sharing secrets with my best friend.
“There are fake ones?” I twisted my face in confusion. “How do you fake a kiss?”
“No.” She laughed. “I mean was it like the way your grandma would kiss you, or was it a kiss kiss.” She leaned back and stared at me, her eyes darting around my face in the process. “Oh,” she laughed. “I can tell by your face that it was a kiss kiss. Is he any good at it?” Her eyes widened.
“It was a kiss.” I tried really hard to down play it. I was never the girl who talked about her boyfriends with her friends. I kept things to myself.
“Your face says it was a good kiss. I’m so happy for you.” She leaned forward and wrapped me in a hug. “Good for you.”
“Thanks… I think.” I wrinkled my forehead.
“No thanks necessary, now let’s get the decorations down before he comes back.” She jumped up and clapped her hands together.
ooooooooo
Blake arrived right before dinner. Donna had made homemade bread and tomato soup. It tasted delicious on a cold night. Amy had started a fire in the fireplace, and Blake was currently trying to get the tree in the tree stand.
“Maybe if you turn it a little this way.” Donna pointed to the right, and Blake twisted the tree.
“Now it’s leaning toward me.” Lauren frowned.
“How about we turn it this way?” Amy pointed toward the door, and Blake laughed.
“How about I tighten the stand first and we see where it leans naturally?” He sat down on the floor, and reached under the tree. “Everybody back up,” he warned as he slowly let go. “I don’t want this to fall on any of you.” The tree leaned to the left slightly, and he pushed it back up and tightened that side of the stand. “This might be it.” He released it again and backed up. The tree wobbled a bit at first, but then settled.
“Yay. You did it.” Amy bounced on her toes as she skipped over to where the box of lights was sitting on the loveseat. “Why don’t you help with these?” She handed me a strand. “Blake can do the top ones since he can reach.” She grinned and then winked at me.
“O- ok,” I stuttered as I stood and made way over toward him.
He smiled as he took an end of a strand. “Just follow me around the tree while I clip them on.” We made quick work of it, and soon the tree was lit up with beautiful colors. They flashed and blinked, turning the room into sort of a disco.
“It’s so pretty,” Amy mused from where she was standing across the room. “Let’s put the ornaments on.” She handed each of us a box, and we carefully began unwrapping them, and hanging them on the tree.
“You guys did a great job picking this one out.” Donna smiled as she stood back to look at the finished product. “It looks beautiful.”
“It does,” Blake murmured. I couldn’t help but feel his eyes on me. When I glanced to the side, he was staring right at me.
“Anyone up for hot chocolate?” Donna clapped her hands.
“Ooh, me.” Amy darted toward the kitchen.
“I think I’m going to bed. I have to be up early tomorrow for an appointment.” Lauren stretched and then headed for the hallway.
“I’m just going to sit here for a while.” I sat down on the couch and just stared at the tree. It was so pretty. I don’t ever remember having a tree look as magical as this one. The lights twinkled and made the glass of some of the ornaments sparkle. Warren would have never been ok with this. Nothing matched. All our trees had a theme and everything matched.
oooooooo
“Mind if I join you?” Blake slowly lowered himself onto the couch beside me.
“Not at all.” I scooted over to make room. “It’s really pretty. It’s nice of you to help Donna like this.”
“I enjoy helping, and there’s a perk this year… you’re here.” He winked as he leaned back and draped his arm over the back of the couch.
“I’m not that special,” I mumbled. I wasn’t used to the compliments, and Blake seemed to give them constantly.
“You are to me.” He smiled softly as he shifted closer. The arm that was on the back of the couch slid forward to rest on my shoulders. He tugged gently, causing me to lean against him. As my side rested against his chest, I could feel his heartbeat. His breathing picked up, and he swallowed a few times before he started talking again. “I know you haven’t heard this enough, but you are special, Brooke and I’m going to keep telling you that until you start believing it.”
“You might have to say it a lot then.” I sighed. I could feel tears coming, but I forced them back. I didn’t want to ruin the moment.
“What’s wrong?” Blake shifted slightly and pulled me closer. He was now leaning back, kinda half on and half off the couch. Both arms were wrapped around me in a hug, and I was leaning against his chest.
“Nothing. I was just thinking,” I murmured.
“About what?” He started rubbing my back.
“About how pretty this tree is. About how something as simple as a pretty tree is something I’ve never had. About how if I’d decorated a tree like this, I would have been punished.” I swallowed as memories flooded me.
“Why would you be punished for a tree?” Blake’s voice changed from soothing to utterly confused.
“Everything had to match. There had to be order. You know the trees you see in department stores? The ones that have a theme, and the ornaments are all strategically placed? That’s what our trees looked like.” My voice had gone from happy to robotic with just a simple memory.
“That’s crazy. Those trees are nice, but so is this kind. All the ornaments on this tree are handmade. The women who have stayed here over the years have made all of them. I’m sure Donna will have a craft day pretty soon so you can add to it.”
“I remember this one year Warren wanted to decorate the
entire house in blue, white, and silver. It was supposed to be a winter wonderland. I didn’t have the correct ratio on the colors for the tree, and I put an angel on the top instead of a star. Warren knocked the tree down, shattering half the ornaments, and then shoved me on top of the wreckage. Not only did I get cuts all over me, but I had to clean up the mess.” I didn’t even realize I was crying at this point.
“What an asshole,” Blake growled. “There’s a special place for men like him.”
“It’s hard for me to look at things like this tree, and not pick apart what’s wrong with it. Warren’s made me think like him. I’m trying to see the beauty in things though, and tonight I do with this, so thank you.” I turned to face him, my hands folded together on his chest.
“Thank me?” He pointed to himself. “What did I do?”
“You made me see this tree differently. I don’t really know how, but seeing the joy you had while decorating it made me see the simple beauty. I’m making progress. I’ll get there.” I offered a half smile.
“God, you’re beautiful.” He sighed as he lifted his head and craned his neck to get closer. “I don’t think you even know how beautiful you are, and how beautiful what you just said is.”
When his lips touched mine, I sighed with acceptance. I was expecting it this time, and let myself enjoy it for what it was, a kiss. A kiss from someone who really seemed to care. A kiss that wasn’t given with the expectation of more.
We laid there in each other’s arms in the quiet of the night with only the tree lights and fire illuminating the room. The fire crackled and spread its warmth throughout the room. I don’t remember when we fell asleep, but I know it was the first night I didn’t dream of Warren. He didn’t invade my dreams, he wasn’t torturing me, I wasn’t afraid. Blake made me feel safe and loved; he was showing me what I had deserved all along and it was this night that seemed to change things for us.
Chapter 22
Brooke
“Brooke,” Blake’s whispered voice invaded my sleep, “Brooke.” It was more insistent this time, and came with a slight shake. “Ava’s crying.”
My eyes sprang open as I stretched. “I’m awake. I’m sorry.” I scrambled to get up. My limbs were tangled with Blake’s and there was a blanket over us. Did we sleep all night here?
“It’s ok, she just started.” He yawned as a goofy grin began to pull at his lips.
“What?” I glanced down at my skewed clothes.
“You’re cute in the morning. I should have woken you the last time.” He chuckled lightly.
I shook my head at him before rushing away to get Ava. I’m sure she was hungry and probably wet too. “Hey, pretty girl,” I cooed as I lifted her out of her crib. She kicked her feet and smiled at me, all tears stopping the moment she saw me. “You ready for breakfast?” She smiled and opened her mouth as if she was trying to suck on something. “Let’s get this wet diaper off, and then we’ll get a bottle.”
I laid her on the bed, and quickly changed her while listening to her attempt to talk to me. She was getting bigger now, and doing more than just sleeping and eating. She had good head control, and was trying to babble. There were some days I’d just lie on the bed with her, and pretend to have a conversation with her.
“Everything ok?” Blake’s head peeked around the door. His hair was sticking up, and his bare feet were peeking out from under the legs of his jeans. He shifted back and forth like he was waiting for an invite.
“She’s fine.” I smiled. “Just wet and hungry.” I snapped up her pjs and lifted her in my arms. “Let me get a bottle and I’ll meet you back in the living room.”
After mixing a bottle, I settled into the recliner in the living room. Blake was in the process of putting on his shoes. He sat up and glanced over at me before attempting to straighten his clothes. “She loves her bottles, huh?” He laughed lightly.
“When she first wakes up, yes.” I grinned at Ava. “You’re hungry in the morning, huh pretty girl?” Ava smiled around the nipple and kicked her feet.
“I was wondering if you and Ava would want to come over for dinner tonight?” Blake fidgeted. “I thought maybe I could cook, and we could watch a movie or something.” He shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal, but in fact it was a very big deal. I’d never been to his place.
“Tonight?” I lifted my eyes to meet his.
“That was the plan, but if tonight doesn’t work I could do tomorrow, or the next day.” He slowly stood and made his way over to where I was standing. “I want to spend more time with you, and her.” His head dipped toward Ava. He lifted his hand and rubbed her soft hair with his palm. “She’s getting so big.”
“I know. I can’t imagine anyone not wanting someone so perfect.” I sighed as I watched her close her eyes. She was getting milk drunk, and looked as if she was going to go back to sleep.
“I have to go to work, but I’ll come by and pick you up this evening on my way home.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll see you tonight.”
“Ok. See ya.” I smiled, first at Ava, then at Blake.
oooooooo
Blake called when he was leaving the hospital to let me know he was on his way. When he pulled up to the house, Amy was watching out the window. “He’s here.” She clapped like a fifteen-year-old.
“Relax. It’s just dinner.” I shook my head at her. The truth was, I was so nervous I wasn’t sure I’d be able to eat dinner. All I kept thinking about was that we were going to be alone in his apartment. I had no idea what to expect. I wasn’t even sure how to dress for this. Ava was sound asleep in her carrier. I’d bundled her up, and covered the carrier with a blanket.
“He’s getting out.” Amy’s forehead wrinkled.
“Amy!” I scowled as I lifted the carrier into my arms. I’d already put my coat on. I just had to slip on my boots.
“Hey.” She giggled as she opened the door right as Blake was getting ready to knock. His hand was in midair, and the look on his face was priceless.
“How do you do that?” He stared at Amy.
“Super powers.” She laughed.
“You ready? I left my car running so it would stay warm.” He motioned to the curb.
“Yep. Just need these.” I pointed to my boots.
“Let me grab her for you.” Blake reached for the carrier and took it from my hands.
“Thanks.” I slipped my boots on, and then followed him out onto the porch. “You could have waited in the car. I would have come out,” I mumbled as we walked down the steps.
“That is not acceptable. A gentleman never picks up his lady from the car. He always walks her to and from the door.” He scowled at me as he secured Ava’s carrier in the backseat.
I thought about it for a few minutes. Warren never walked me to and from the car. If he was picking me up after work, he would just honk and expect me to come out. “I’ll remember that. Thanks.” I gave him a quick peck on the cheek as he opened my door for me.
After slipping in the front seat, I secured my belt and then relaxed back against the warm leather. Soft jazz was playing on the radio, and the only light was that of the street lights outside. Memories flooded me of the nights Warren took me out. Blake had never asked, and I wondered why. Without thinking, the words came flying out. “How come we never go out places for dinner?” My face turned red almost immediately.
Blake glanced at me and then back at the road. “Is that something you want to do?”
“I don’t know. Forget I said anything,” I muttered as I turned to stare out at the city as we made the short drive. Blake only lived a few blocks away. If it wasn’t freezing out, we could have walked.
“No.” His voice was firm. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” My head whipped around in his direction. I could see frown lines, and his grip had tightened on the wheel. He was angry, and I wasn’t sure what I’d done to cause it.
“Pretend like you don’t matter. I want to know how you feel about thing
s. I want to know your desires, your wishes. I wanna know if I do something that you don’t like. I want you to talk to me. What you think and feel matters, and you need to tell me even if you think it’s something I don’t want to hear.” He turned quickly and parked in a space. “Do you understand what I’m saying?” He put the car in park, and cut the engine. “There are gonna be times when I get mad, but I’m never going to hurt you. I’m not him, but I am human.” He was still holding the wheel and his breathing was ragged. “I’m not him.”
“I know.” It came out whispered, and I placed my hand on his forearm. “I know.”
oooooooo
Blake
I was falling in love with her, plain and simple. I knew when I started this that it would be a challenge. I knew he’d always be in the background, but I guess I didn’t realize how hard it was going to be. She’s so afraid that she’ll upset me, that she won’t be herself. “Let’s go upstairs?” I opened my door, and then came around to help her out, and grab Ava’s carrier. She was awake now, and babbling under the covering Brooke had put on her. “I think she’s up.” I laughed lightly.
“I fed her before I left, so she should be ok for a little while.” She stared up at the building in front of us. “Which one is yours?”
“I’m on the top.” I smiled. “Penthouse apartment. I wanted the tall ceilings.”
We stepped inside and rode the elevator up. Normally I take the stairs, but Ava’s carrier is heavy, and I wasn’t sure Brooke would be up for six flights. When we reached the top, I unlocked my door, and stepped back.
Enduring Act (The Survivor's duet Book 2) Page 12