by Shel Stone
Sitting down at her laptop, she opened it began scanning through her emails. Today she worn a skirt and he could see himself running his hands up her thighs in the boardroom. Closing his eyes, he cursed himself, and his relentless imagination. This couldn’t go on—she was too distracting. He had to do something. Maybe he should go eat the breakfast that had seemed to turn his stomach that morning.
Getting up, he left, retreated down to the café in the lobby. He didn’t feel like returning back to the office where his problems were waiting, sitting on the other side of the project office. Down here he could breathe and get his thoughts under control. By the time he finished his coffee there was only one thing he could do. It would absolutely infuriate her, but he had no choice.
Leaving the building, he walked across the city until he got to the Grasshopper. As expected, Carmichael was there, responding to his email request for a meeting.
“What’s happened?” Carmichael said with concern.
“I need to talk about Bella,” Damon said.
“Is she alright?”
“She’s fine,” he said with an impatient gesture. “I need her off the project.”
Carmichael considered him for a while. “You know this was her project from the start.”
“I know, and I empathise, but I can’t work with her and she can’t close the project—the unfortunate consequence is that she has to go.”
“She will not be happy,” Carmichael said with a whistle.
“I can’t… I tried.” He wasn’t explaining his reasoning well.
“Is she remiss in her duties?” Carmichael had such an old-fashioned way with words. She did deserve a reason, as did Carmichael. It was a drastic act and it wasn’t the result of incompetence.
“No, nothing like that,” he started. “I find her too distracting.”
“That is because you are in love with her,” Carmichael said as matter of fact.
Damon paused suddenly, his mouth dropping open. It was the most preposterous thing he’d ever heard. “I don’t think so.”
“You two have been pussyfooting around each other for a while. It was only a matter of time before things came to a head,” Carmichael said sympathetically. Screw his sympathy, Damon thought, he still wanted to hit something. He clenched his fists.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Damon responded. He was not in love. He did not do love. It was a stupid notion for ridiculous people who had no ambition and nothing going in their lives.
“It comes for everyone sooner or later, and now is your time, I’m afraid.”
“Don’t be absurd.”
“Irrespective, the answer is no—you may not push her off the project,” Carmichael stated. “And speaking from experience it will make no difference either way; it will only drag out the inevitable. Do yourself a favour and man up now, save both of you misery and uncertainty because you can’t face the truth.”
“You put us on the same project on purpose,” Damon accused. The accusation that he was too chicken to face the truth smarted, but there was also a grain of truth in the statement, which just made him angrier. There was something he was distinctly avoiding.
“Of course I did, you two idiots both needed a push.”
“Why?” Damon demanded, feeling like he had been stabbed in the back.
“Because you need to be settled and she needs someone who can challenge and captivate her. If you are settled and happy, you will stay, you will do good work and you won’t be distracted by your own boredom.”
“So you are playing matchmaker now?” What right did Carmichael have to play with his life like this? Although it was him that had kissed her last night, no-one had held a gun to his head. Then again, if she’d been in Sydney, he wouldn’t have. The ugly truth was, if he cared to admit it, that he’d still be thinking about her.
“No, I am just good at seeing the obvious.”
“You’re crazy, old man.”
“It’s only good business when it comes down to it.”
Damon marched out of the restaurant. He’d had enough of this conversation. It had gone a hundred eighty degrees from where he’d thought it would go. Not only could he not get rid of Bella, he was told the inevitable outcome was that he’d end up with her. They’d only spent a few nights together, all up; one could not know such a thing from just a couple of nights together.
Deep inside him, he knew somehow that the statement wasn’t entirely true, perhaps because he’d lost interest in sex with anyone else since their time together in Singapore. He’d gone through the motions, but in reality, it lacked more than lustre. Bella, on the other hand, had his body and mind piqued whenever she was near. Even just the mention of her did things to him.
Maybe there was something in what Carmichael was saying; he certainly had self-control issues around her, and annoyingly, it seemed to be getting worse. She spent an inordinate amount of time in his head. That didn’t mean he should be with her. Having a girlfriend or worse, a wife, was not part of his agenda. He had stayed as far away from any type of commitment as humanly possible.
He really didn’t like the way Carmichael made it sound like it was inevitable. Carmichael was just trying to mess with his head. The old man had gone too far this time.
*
Damon returned to the office in a terrible mood—Bella could tell just by looking at him. Something must have happened, although he’d been in a terrible mood all day. If she admitted it, he’d been in a terrible mood since he’d driven her home from his apartment. Going there with him might have been a huge mistake, she conceded. He’d said he was doing things he didn’t want to do—maybe he was serious.
From now on, she would stay away from him as much as possible, which wasn’t hard because he ignored her. He was brusque with everyone and at times he would grab his coat and storm out the door.
Rising from his desk, he marched out of their office again.
“What is up with him?” Robyn asked when he was gone. “He’s a completely different person from last week. Nothing has gone off the rails with the project as far as I can see. Do you think he knows something we don’t?”
Bella didn’t know what to say. Technically he could have found out something material to the project, but she wasn’t sure his moodiness had anything to do with the project. She only shrugged in reply.
“I would have figured he’d be the kind to deal with it, rather than getting all flustered.” Robyn added.
“He normally is.”
“Maybe we broke him,” Robyn said with an amused shoulder shrug. It was meant to be funny, but it cut a little close to the truth for Bella.
Bella didn’t know what to do. This wasn’t something she could call Carmichael about. What was she going to say: she slept with her boss and now he was losing the plot? No, she dismissed that thought, this could not be about her—there must be something serious going on. He slept with girls all the time; it was inconceivable that one afternoon, glorious as it was, would even really register on his radar.
He didn’t show up the next day.
*
Damon hadn’t slept; he’d spent the night trying to think his way through the situation he was in—a situation he couldn’t quite define. Something was constant though; he did crave her. It was as though she’d done something to him and now he couldn’t get her out of his mind.
Lying in bed, he stared at the ceiling, knowing she would be at work right now. He just couldn’t sit there stewing, no today. He was too tired and too off-kilter. He would do what he always did when he had things to deal with—he would sail. He was just waiting for the commuter traffic to die down a bit.
He got to his boat shortly after half past nine. It was a sunny day, although it was crisp and cool. There was sufficient wind to make it a tolerable sailing day and he let the motor run until he was clear of the marina, and then hoisted the sails, heading to some of the nearby small islands.
Even sailing wasn’t giving him any relief, his problems weighing just as hea
vy on him out here, in what was usually his sanctuary. He really had no idea how to tackle the problem—the problem of Bella. He really had nothing to go on, other than Carmichael’s estimation, but the old man was likely off his rocker. Damon didn’t believe in love, although hypothetically speaking, if he were to be in love, he wasn’t sure he would pick her—she was on the whole a little demure relatively to other girls he saw. She was bright, funny—incredibly sexy. But then there was that image of her standing in his apartment, in his shirt, drinking wine. It was burnt into his mind. Maybe also an image of her standing in the pool in Singapore in a bikini with the rain pelting down around them, her hair slicked back with water; she’d just looked so fresh and…
Moving around the boat, he tried to escape the thoughts that constantly plagued him. If love was a form of madness, then maybe this was it, he conceded as he walked around his boat, trying to escape thoughts. More importantly, if he was in love with Bella Burrows, what would he do about it?
The obvious answer was to run, to get as far away from her as he could. Maybe eventually he would get to sleep again. But then he had the realisation that he would be further plagued by the thought that she would turn her smiles and attention to someone else—and he wasn’t sure he could tolerate that. Realistically there was nowhere to run to as they were both in the same industry. He wasn’t stupid enough to give up his work for an unwanted attachment to a girl. No, she would be around and he would likely have contact with her in some form or another. Eventually he would have to watch her fall in love with someone. He knew full well that the boys in the office would volunteer for that duty in a heartbeat. She would slip through his fingers so easily if he loosened his grip on her.
He wondered if she would be one of those girls who would lose interest in work when she got pregnant, disappear forever into the suburbs to only be seen again at company functions. Some were like that, losing interest in everything else. Or maybe she would return to work, where she would be radiant in her happiness, running off whenever the child had some sniffles.
He knew in his gut that she was meant for that and if he wanted her, he would have to offer it—toys, diapers, the whole thing. Or he would have to watch her embrace that kind of life from the sidelines. Bella would make relentless progress towards that kind of family life, no matter if it included him or not.
The word marriage reverberated through his head. He couldn’t deny it; it was what he was considering. It was ridiculous; he’d only slept with her a few times, now he was considering tying himself to her forever. There would be no other conclusions with Bella, it was marriage or it was nothing. It wouldn’t be immediate, but it was the only endpoint. How had he gotten here?
Being with her would mean some significant changes; he would have to get a house. He would have someone there waiting every night, if not waiting at home, then waiting to ride home with him. And not just some gorgeous girl with an empty space in her head, Bella knew his business, knew the pressures and problems. He couldn’t quite imagine what that would be like, having someone there who actually knew him and the things he faced. Eventually he would become a father and have one or two little creatures for whom he represented the world.
The one thing he did know for sure was that he had to make a decision. He couldn’t stay as he was, stuck in this insanity he was feeling. He was no good at the moment, unable to function in even the barest capacities. No matter what he chose, he didn’t think he could keep his hands off her. All it would take would be one unobserved moment and he would probably be kissing her again.
It was either backward or forward, and backward was the eventuality of watching her find her future partner and happiness without him, while forward included providing her with the kind of life she wanted.
*
Things were slipping and they needed Damon to come, but his desk remained stubbornly empty. Bella was worried. It seemed he didn’t care and it really wasn’t like him, which indicated that something was indeed very wrong.
She didn’t like seeing him this unhappy and hoped it wasn’t about her. She had to entertain the thought because his unhappiness seemed to start when he’d driven her home. Maybe he was majorly regretting it. That was certainly not going to do her ego any good if it was true. Actually, it would be devastating.
In her gut, she knew something was coming. Things were getting to a turning point, even if it turned out that his recent behaviour was unrelated. Her interest in him had gone beyond a mere crush at this point. She was in love with him and it wasn’t a good position to be in. Had tried her absolute best to be cool and professional about the whole thing, and it might be working on the outside, but inside, she was a complete mess, and now things were going south and it would likely hurt no matter how it happened.
She’d lose the project, which honestly wasn’t a main concern at this point; she was more concerned about losing her sanity. While she knew logically that things were probably about to get very painful, there was that part of her that still hoped. Dealing with the fact that she was in love with him wouldn’t be so bad if she wasn’t craving him constantly, her fingers itching to touch him. She couldn’t quite catch her breath or get comfortable; it drove her every second of every day.
After lunch, Damon finally walked in. Still grumpy—not quite as bad as he had been, but he was brusque and short-tempered. Some of the admin girls had even started asking Robyn if she would get him to sign their papers. Something had to give. Bella had a feeling there would be resolution today, one way or another, but his grumpiness was setting everyone on edge.
“You need to get a grip,” Bella finally said when she’d had enough. “The girls are afraid of talking to you. Whatever it is you have going on, can you just sort it, because we are getting sick of it.”
“Do you seriously think there’s a possibility that I haven’t been trying to sort it, as you say?” he responded, tapping his pen on the desk. “Have you finished the peer review?”
“It’s been on your desk for days if you’d care to notice.”
“Fine!”
Robyn watched the exchange with her mouth agape, turning her attention from one to the other and back. Damon searched his desk for the paper and settled down to read it with an exaggerated angry flipping of the pages. He read for a while as Bella huffed and returned her attention to her computer.
“Have you got plans tonight, Bella?” Damon asked after a while without looking up from the report he was studying.
“No,” she said also not looking up from her task.
“Good. I’m taking you out to dinner,” he stated.
Her eyebrows rose. That had not been what she’d expected, anticipating something along the lines of a spiteful report that would require long hours into the night. Dinner was not what she’d expected, and dinner with just the two of them, less so. Bella paused and considered the implications. He was asking her out, and not some hidden assignation or late night visit. He was asking her out properly, in front of others, so the world would know. Asking someone out for dinner was not something one did because one was compelled. He was asking her out because he wanted to and she knew it wasn’t an action he’d take lightly or without consideration. He was interested in her, and more than just a sly office affair. This would be something with meaning.
Brushing furiously, Bella struggled to suppress a smile while Robyn rolled her eyes. Her whole body heated up and she was sure she was glowing red from head to toe. She couldn’t stop smiling.
Looking over at Damon, she spied him trying to suppress a smile as well. Bella was again astounded by how beautiful he was. He just drew her gaze in and held it. She wasn’t sure she could look away if she wanted to—not that she was trying very hard.
They were going on a date. It was a big step.
Working was near impossible. Figures blurred in front of her eyes and she tried to understand what had just happened. It was a date. It wasn’t a big deal. God, what would Edmund say? It was a massive deal. She blocked it out of
her mind because she badly wanted to go on this date.
“I have a meeting,” Damon said and rose. “I’ll call you later.”
Robyn was staring at her. “Something you want to say?”
“No,” Bella said, burning bright red. “Okay fine, there might be a bit of a crush thing happening.”
“You’ve been good at hiding it.”
They really hadn’t if Robyn had cared to look, but maybe they had both been trying to hide it—or fight it tooth and nail. Damon had given in to the attraction, but what did that even mean? And publicly asking her on a date. That was a no holds barred kind of thing.
Fruitlessly, Bella tried to work until the end of the day, but she didn’t trust anything she did. Finally she shut her computer and pulled her coat on.
“Date night,” Robyn said teasingly.
“Shut up.” A smile lingered on her lips. Yeah, it wouldn’t just be a date. They’d be spending the night together, but she wasn’t going to tell Robyn that, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to come to work tomorrow in the same clothes. This operation required a bit of planning.
Looking down at her phone, she felt a moment of worry because he hadn’t called. It was just past five, but maybe he was stuck in whatever meeting he was in.
Robyn stayed, having a report to finished and barely looked up when Bella said goodbye.
The elevator was crowded as she joined the end-of-day trek home, squeezing into the corner to make room as it slowly moved down the building, picking up more and more people.
Fresh air met her as she left the building.
“Hey.” Turning, she saw Damon standing by his car. “Thought I’d come pick you up.”
That sounded almost boyfriendish, and she couldn’t stop hope flaring in her. That was what they were talking about, wasn’t it? Public declaration, evening date—him picking her up from work. Technically it was his work too, but he’d come to pick her up.
Walking over, her eyes lingered on him. God, he was good looking. How could he be her date—hopefully boyfriend? “So you want to take me out, huh?”