by Jen Luerssen
He comes back 30 seconds later in sweats. “Why you back early? Just so you know, Mikey is at her parents.”
“Yes, I know. I just did what I needed to do in the city and now I’m back here and looking forward to the minute she shows back up.”
“Can we talk about what you did?” he asks, and I know he’s talking about the wedding surprise.
I roll my eyes. “It’s not a big deal, I worked with him a few times and he was free. He’s a good dude and likes our take on his songs.”
“He’s heard our stuff?” Joe asks, eyes wide.
“Sure. I told him about Lia’s obsession one time and he asked to hear her version of Enter Sandman. He thought it was refreshing.” It really wasn’t that big of a deal. When you record there’s a lot of down time in between sessions and he and I talked a bit.
“Mother. Fucking. Frank. You are the worst kind of friend that doesn’t understand how awesome shit is and then respond accordingly. I can’t even with you.”
“You can’t even?” I ask incredulously. “So sorry you can’t even, Joe, maybe you should get that looked at.”
He shakes his head. “So you’re back early. Couldn’t hack it without my company, I imagine. Or maybe you realized Sebass is a jack wagon and doesn’t know what he’s talking about?”
“The second one is close. I just want to be here when she gets back, and prepare myself for any outcome.”
“You love her,” he says knowing all of my signs.
“I do, but I have no idea how she feels, this is an all too familiar scenario for me and I hate it.” I really do, I’m realizing that I had strong feelings for other women in my past and maybe I loved them a little, but the way I feel about Mikey is a whole different level. She’s my soul mate and I will fight for her.
Joe gives me a long look. “Frankster, you are a handsome and smart man, you know she feels the same, she’s just scared. Try not to scare her too much and you may just keep her.”
“For once in your life, that sounds like good advice. Maybe there’s hope for Jack with you as his parent.”
“Please, that kid passed needing me as a parent like five years ago. He humors me when I try to be a serious father figure, but if we’re being honest he probably surpassed me in intellect and maturity long ago.”
“You deserve some credit, Joe, I’m sure you influenced him more than you realize,” I say and mean it. Joe stepped up and sacrificed a lot to be a parent to Jack, and since he’s the king of self-deprecation, he rarely takes any credit. Yeah, Jack is an awesome kid and probably would have turned out that way even if Joe was useless, but he was anything but useless.
“Okay, this is too serious for a Sunday morning before a large breakfast.” Joe also gets uncomfortable talking about anything important. So I let him change the subject and head out to breakfast.
F*cking Fine
WHEN MIKEY RETURNS MONDAY MORNING I’m waiting for her on her porch. What I’m not expecting is for her to pull up in a 1972 cherry red El Camino. Same exact make and model as mine, just a different color. I step down to meet her as she pulls a bag from the back.
“Hi,” I say, hands in my pockets. “Is this your car?”
She gives me a half smile. “Busted. I was storing it at my parents while my mechanic was waiting on a part. She fixed it last week so I brought it home. Surprise?” She asks holding her hands wide.
I shake my head, grab her hand and pull her to me for a hug. “Everything about you is surprising in the best of ways.”
She squeezes me and I kiss the top of her head. “Want to go surf?” she asks. “I really need a day on the water with you.”
I nod and we head inside. We don’t talk as she gets ready to go. I sit on her bed and watch her put on a bikini and pack her bag with a wetsuit and towels. When she’s ready we head to my cabin where my board and gear are already in my car. I was hoping to get her out one of these days, and am glad she suggested it. We head inside where I tell Joe our plans and put a pair of swim trunks on.
“Are you for real with those, Frank?” Mikey asks, breaking the long silence between us. She’s gesturing to my trunks and I smile and gyrate my hips.
“You don’t like my tighties?” I ask with a smirk. For a few years, I suffered through with wearing board shorts or nothing under my wetsuit. Honestly, the chafing was not worth the style points. So I bought a pair of tight swim trunks. Joe calls them my Bond shorts. Or my cucumber smugglers, whatever mood strikes him. I turn my back to her, bend over and pull my other shorts over the tighties. She laughs and pinches my ass.
“Oh my god Frank, you’ll start a riot in those things. How is someone like you so fucking hot? It’s not fair because we all know you don’t care about it at all.” She has a point. I’ve always had a lean and muscular body pretty naturally but surfing and weights have enhanced it. I’m aware of the attention I get but she’s right, I don’t care.
I turn and push her down on the bed, hovering over her. “I care if you do, and you are so stunning I can barely breathe.”
Her hand rests over my heart as she reaches up to place a gentle kiss on my mouth. “You are sweet, fucking Frank.”
“Don’t let that shit get around,” I say and kiss her back.
* * *
We hit the road to Stinson Beach and listen to an 80s goth alternative playlist I made. “Wait, so you are a secret goth?” Mikey asks.
“I’m a fan of Bauhaus, Echo and the Bunnymen, and Sisters of Mercy but I wouldn’t say I’m full goth. I do like black though.” I know she’s referring to my tattoo and after she asked me I looked it up and realized there were several meanings. I just liked the basic meaning and like I’ve mentioned I love vampire paranormal. Whatever, I was like 22 when I got it and I still love it. Not many people can say that about their younger day’s tattoos. “Lia does refer to me as a gloomy Robert Smith sometimes, so maybe I’m goth at heart.”
She bristles at the mention of Lia and I sigh. “We have an hour in the car, Mikey, should we just get into it? I’m ready to get past this.”
She shrugs. “Sure, I’m sorry I made you wait. I think I’m just scared to hear what you have to say.”
“I get it. The only thing you should be scared about is how clingy I’m going to be if you decide to forgive me and we keep this going.” She laughs at this which is my goal, even though I’m 100% serious.
“Fucking Frank gets attached?”
“Where have you been? I know it’s not as noticeable since we’ve been living and working in the same place, but if this were normal situation, you’d have blocked my number by now.” This has happened to me more than I’d like to admit. Joe says I have no boundaries, which women like at first, especially when I’m fucking them, but I don’t play the game. If I like someone I don’t pretend I don’t. That shit never made sense to me so I tell Mikey exactly that. “If I want to be with someone I’m all in. Most women aren’t interested in that kind of intensity. But, it’s who I am so I can’t change it.”
“Oh, Frank, who you are is exactly why I’m with you. Let’s be real, if we were both normal, we wouldn’t be basically living together after only a few weeks and inseparable most of the day.” She moves to the center of the bench seat and kisses my cheek, placing her hand on my thigh.
I whoosh out a breath I’ve been holding since I blew the surprise. “So, are you saying you have clingy tendencies as well?”
She laughs. “Were you not there when I freaked out because you left? Make no mistake, Frank, I’m attached and am on board to see where this goes. The various nice things you did for Lia threw me because I want to be the only person you think about, and I know it’s petty and nuts, but it’s who I am and I can’t change it. You’re my Fucking Frank and every other woman can fuck right off. Even Lia.”
I turn to her with a confused look. “You know that Lia has never, not once, thought of me in a romantic way. We’ve had the mortifying conversation about the various one-sided feelings in my history. Even so, I�
��ve never felt about any of them even a fraction of what I feel for you. Can you imagine how terrifying that is to me?”
Her hand squeezes my thigh and her head rests on my shoulder. “I’m sorry I overreacted. I hate dramatics but I’ve been the unwitting victim of some heart-wrenching drama I’d like to avoid in the future. Sebass shouldn’t have told you about what Archie and Sadie did to me, but it’s all true and it’s taken a long time for me to forgive them and myself. I thought I was completely over it but that seems to not be the case.”
“Why would you have to forgive yourself?” I ask.
“Well, Archie and Sadie were fucking behind my back for a year and I didn’t see it. If I was paying attention I would have seen it. Once they dropped the bomb on me, it was like a light switch went on. The year spooled out into my brain with the knowledge of them together behind my back and so many things crystallized.” My hand finds hers and I grab onto it. “The calls he was on when we were out to dinner or just hanging out at home, the dozens of times he went to Davis early or stayed longer because he told me he had work to catch up on. There are a few times I went with him and in the back of my head I’d wonder why his place looked so clean and tidy, Archie loves clutter. It was so clean because he was living with her the whole time.”
“Why did they keep it from you? It doesn’t make any sense to string you along.”
“Oh, trust me, that was my first question. Unfortunately, I had to wait a bit to ask it since they both were a tad afraid to be alone with me. Makes sense, Archie had a broken nose and a split lip and Sadie a slight concussion from when I tackled her. My temper may be a tiny bit hair trigger.” She shrugs and I squeeze her hand. “Sadie claims she wanted to wait until it was clear it was going to be long-term, and Archie didn’t want to soil his reputation with my parents.”
“Guess that went out the window when he showed up married to his fiancé’s parent’s house?”
“Ha! You’d think. They admired him for his honesty and bravery for both of them coming to us and owning up to what they did. Although my dad winked at me after I kneed Archie in the nose and was slow to call the ambulance. Archie still consults for their business. It was hard for them because they loved him like a son. I’d be pissed if they ever took his side with me, but they don’t.” She yawns and curls her legs up onto the bench. I throw my arm around her and she snuggles into my chest.
“I’m sorry that happened to you. For the record, I’m a one-woman man, if there were ever a time I’d want to be with someone else I’d tell you right up front.”
She slaps my chest hard and sits up. “You aren’t allowed to be with anyone else because you are mine to do with as I please.”
I pull her back into my chest and hug her tight. “Whatever you please. There’s no one else I see but you. Lia is a dear friend and to be clear with you, I have no residual romantic feelings for her. I only want to be with you in a scary, clingy, obsessive, and most likely unhealthy way.”
“Aren’t we the pair of psychos?” She’s petting my chest and I finally feel at ease as we cruise to the beach.
“A matching set from birth,” I say and she pinches my nipple.
F*cking Surfing
IT’S AN UNUSUALLY CLEAR AND warm day, but the surf is mostly nonexistent. Mikey and I paddle out anyway, needing the camaraderie of a familiar and shared activity. We sit on our boards, float on our backs and ride a few small waves. Mostly we talk and share our feelings about things like non-beach people or how we can make Joe into a better person. If you’re keeping track, we don’t understand people who don’t enjoy the beach, it’s the most relaxing place on earth. There are proven studies that show it lowers your heart rate and eases anxiety. We are both undecided on whether we can really help Joe. He’s on his own.
A little sunburned and a lot salty, we find a taco truck in an empty parking lot and order every item on the menu. We sit in the bed of my Camino and eat our weight in tacos, laughing and just being happy to be in each other’s company. We are trained early in our lives that you shouldn’t spend too much time with one person because you need to have space in your lives for others. Not to mention you will get sick of just one person. This is all bullshit.
If you found the one person that challenges you, has similar interests and values, has the same sense of humor, and accepts you and all of your quirks, why would you seek any other company? In every way, Mikey is my soul match, and although I love my friends and family, there’s no one I’d rather spend time with, and if she allowed for it, I’d never encounter another person again. Shit, maybe I can get her to agree to that. I’ll live a hermetic existence in the woods with her and no longer be annoyed by all the people.
Mikey licks a bit of hot sauce off of her lips and my heart drops to my stomach. God, I’m so in love with her and I need her with an intensity that is both exhilarating and frightening. I lean into her and kiss the spot where there’s still a bit of hot sauce on her top lip. It’s a gentle kiss that changes when she grabs the back of my neck and pulls me back in. We sink into the kiss and are consumed with each other. It’s been almost a week since I’ve had my lips on hers and it was a bleak existence.
We break apart and our eyes meet. Her face is about an inch from mine and we sit there like that just staring like a couple of weirdos in love and then she smiles. “I have a secret.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, and I think you’re going to be really happy when I tell it to you,” she teases.
I pull her to my lap and tickle her sides, she curls into a ball laughing. “Tell me,” I insist and stop my assault. She immediately uncurls and lays flat on her back across my lap.
Breathless, she takes her time to get to the point. “Well, you have a look about you that you’d like to probably give me one of those magical dicking sessions.”
“Pretty much think that’s my standard look when you’re around.”
“Naturally,” she jokes, “so I thought I’d let you know you don’t have to wait until we get back to Sonoma.”
“Is that right?” I ask, my mind wandering to all the private spots I could fuck her in, maybe somewhere a little north on a more secluded beach, or hell, I’d take a restaurant bathroom at this point.
“I see your evil mind working, Fucking Frank, and I’m not boning you in any restaurant bathroom.”
I feign outrage. “I’d never defile you in such a way,” I say and she pinches my side. “Okay, I totally would, but maybe you could just cut to the chase so I can get inside you before the sun goes down?”
She sits up and straddles me, her hands in my hair. “What if I told you my family has a little beach house nearby?”
I peck a kiss on her lips. “I’d say get off me and get in the fucking car?”
“Good answer.”
* * *
I let her drive us to the house since she knows where she’s going and I don’t have to tell her anything about how to drive the Camino since she has the same fucking car. When she said nearby, I thought it would be a 10 to 15-minute drive. She pulls out of the parking lot drives two blocks, turns right and pulls into the house at the end of the road. The “house” that is more like a mansion, sitting right on the beachfront.
She hops out of the car without comment and I follow her. There’s a keypad on the front door and she keys in the code and we go inside. There are floor to ceiling windows lining the back of the house with a gorgeous view of the large yard, dunes, and sandy shore. The house has a large, open first floor with a kitchen, living room and dining area. The colors are warm and there are cozy looking sofas and chairs everywhere.
I don’t get much of a chance to check any of it out because Mikey is pulling me up a flight of stairs. We reach the second floor and my feet are met with a plush white carpeting. She leads me into a giant room, most likely the master and directly into the bathroom that is the size of my bedroom in San Francisco. It’s all white and has a giant tub and separate shower. The shower’s outside wall is a windo
w facing the ocean. Kinky.
“Shower or bath?” she asks.
“Both,” I say. “Shower first so I can press your tits into that window, then bath so you can ride me, and then we’ll probably end up back in the shower so I can press your ass into that window.”
“Very specific, and I’m here for it.” She tears her little dress off, unties her swimsuit and walks to the shower. I waste no time getting my shorts off and following her.
We wash the salt and sand from our bodies never breaking contact. I shampoo Mikey’s hair and massage her scalp. She moans and presses her bare ass to my hard dick and I lower myself to notch her opening and enter her in a swift up movement.
“Ah, Frank,” she says putting her hand on my hip.
“Sorry I couldn’t wait. Keep still and I’ll finish your hair.” I bend her forward a little, just seated inside her not moving and finish rinsing her hair. She leans back a bit and I put some conditioner on for her. “That needs to stay on for a bit, right?”
She nods. I turn her to the outside window and do as I promised, pressing her tits into the window. My hands are at her hips and I begin to drive into her. She plants her hands over her head and thrusts her ass out to meet me. We are slippery, noisy and so happy to be connected in this way once again. One of my hands makes its way to her clit and I start to rub her in a circular motion while driving as deep as I can into her warm and tight pussy. She starts to make the low moans that signal she’s coming soon and also adds her “there, there, there” chorus. So I obey and keep going exactly where she wants me. Her pussy clenches me as I pound her into the very sturdy window. Right before I come, I pull out and give her the spa treatment.
Our breaths slow and she chuckles at my antics. I turn her so I can kiss her. My lips melt into hers as I wash the conditioner out of her hair.
“You take good care of me, Frank,” she says, in between kisses. “I got the full spa treatment.”