by Ruth Harrow
Without warning, I am forced back into my seat as Will slams his foot down.
'Will – what are you doing?!'
We swerve from lane to lane, diving in between the other cars.
They are positioned as though they are parked, stationary, as we speed ahead into a rush of oblivion.
67
Will pushes his foot down further and I'm pressed violently hard back into my seat.
He mutters to himself again as he weaves in between cars recklessly.
My eyes find the speedometer and I panic as I see the needle continue to rise.
'Will, slow down! What are you doing?!'
'What's the matter, Hannah? You don't mind if I drive, do you? Why not? Got nothing to lose, have we? You are not going to drop me in it and then go skipping off, Hannah!'
I pray that a police car is somewhere nearby and spots us. I silently beg that we are picked up on one of the many cameras that line the motorways.
Please someone come after us, I think.
My thoughts fall upon our daughter. Her face is all I can think of. I turn to Will. His eyes are wild, just as David's had been. But somehow the effect in Will is far more terrifying.
'What about Eva?!' I shriek. 'You can't leave her without either of her parents! She needs me, Will. Please!'
He takes the turn off the motorway, slowing a little, but still at lethal speed. The traffic is thankfully more sparse here.
Around the corner, Will swerves and narrowly misses a collision with a grey Lexus at a roundabout. Its horn blares at us loudly as we pass, inches from the steely paintwork.
Will turns the next corner and we pull into a wide residential street full of leafy, ivy-covered detached houses.
He slams on the brakes and we come to a halt. My hand automatically reaches out for the dashboard. When we stop my face is mere inches from the textured plastic.
Over the sound of my pounding heart, I hear nothing but Will's ragged breathing as he stares blindly through the windscreen at the road ahead of him.
68
I can never forgive Will for taking April from the lives of my family, however inadvertent it may have been.
The Wakefields deserved to know what happened to their daughter. If Will had acted differently, they may not have lost her at all. The rest of the family surely would not have lost their lives either. David would not have been left as the sole survivor, spending his life bitter, alone and in despair.
Will has left so much in his wake, it is almost too much to think about.
Paige could have been taken to hospital. Will would have likely gone to prison, but not for murder. He would probably have been released long ago by now. We could even have met for the second time in the same way – run into each other in a bar somewhere miles from the village.
But that will never be now. Will has to serve his sentence and I have no desire to see him again. Only if it is completely unavoidable will I ever again find myself in his company.
I took his advice at last, however, and got myself a new phone number. At least now his calls and messages have stopped, he feels more distant. He still knows where Eva and I live of course, but now he can't reach out and touch me at any hour of the day or night, as though he still sleeps in the bed beside me.
I had been so looking forward to going home after our stay in Little Bishopsford. I never imagined, when I finally slid my keys into the door, that I would be crossing the threshold with Will for the final time.
Luckily, Eva was still at her friends' house when the pair of us got back to our house. He hurriedly packed a case with a fresh set of clothes and a handful of possessions and left.
That was the last time I saw him.
I know he has finally gone to the police, however. One day last week, Dad called to tell me there was a great deal of activity surrounding the quarry just a few miles away from Little Bishopsford. I've never been there, but I know where it is – it is visible from the top of the Wrekin.
So far they have recovered a car from the watery depths. The divers continue their search.
David was right.
No one has seen David himself for weeks. I've heard he went missing a few days after my departure. Dad informs me that Penny has been distraught over the whole matter.
Eva questioned me endlessly after she found her father had left. Eventually, she stopped asking. She doesn't understand why he went, but I think she knows there was a significant reason. I haven't the heart to reveal everything to her yet.
One day, when she is old enough to understand, I will have to tell her something. The whole truth. One day I'll even tell her about her older sister; the one she lost without even realising it.
I'd named my firstborn daughter long before my fingers came to rest upon Eva in a baby name book. I'd named Rose first. It had felt only natural. I know April would have approved. But I never got to discuss it with her.
For now, Eva remains unknowing of her lost sibling; oblivious to her father's misdeeds.
For the time being.
I know she will understand it all one day. I place my hand on my growing abdomen as I have many times recently. Little does my daughter know, she will have another sister soon. I know they will be the best of friends.
I just hope nothing happens in their futures to tear them apart.
Dad tells me work has started on Reg's house. I had previously declined the invitation to his funeral. I'm told though that the whole village turned out for it, just as they had for April's.
His nephew, Alfred, has taken ownership of the property and eagerly recruited work people to transform the place into a holiday cottage.
So far, Alfred has already had the house stripped of Reg's personal possessions and furnishings. Apart from a headstone beside his wife's, his whole life is gone without a trace.
In a way, I am relieved.
Another part of the village history has been wiped out forever.
Gone, but never forgotten.
Author's Note
Thank you so much for choosing to read In My Wake. If you enjoyed reading it and could spare a few minutes, then I would be grateful if you could leave a short review online. Reviews are really important for helping other readers to discover this book.
If you be the first to know about new books from me then you can enter your email address in the box on my website and receive a notification when a new book is released.
I hope you enjoyed reading Hannah's story. In this book, I wanted to explore the consequences of keeping a secret for so long whilst also passing through many of life's developmental milestones; growing up, going to University, blooming into maturity and becoming a mother all had an effect on Hannah's mental being. When she lost her sister for good she started along another process of self-actualisation too. How did these various psychological transitions affect her decision to stay with the man she had sworn to stand by forever?
It took a stranger's unwanted prompts for Hannah to finally face the reality of what had happened all those years ago. By this point she was both a mature adult and a woman who had been provided with the last pieces of an old puzzle that needed to be completed.
Thank you again for choosing my book.
Best Wishes,
Ruth
RuthHarrow.com
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