Breathe

by Kristen Ashley

  “I know your partner, Twyla, you both were at my house for Bubba’s barbeque spareribs three weeks ago,” Krys returned.

  “Right so, I like girls. And I’ve liked ‘em all my life. I was a marine. I’ve shot a gun. I own five of them, guns that is. I watch the Nuggets, Avs, Broncos and Rockies. I’ve never in my life worn a skirt. I wear a sports bra because with these babies,” she circled her bosoms with a pointed finger before dropping her hand to the checkout desk, “I got no choice. God saw fit to grant me an A cup, no way. Since I’m a C, I’m fucked. I have never worn mascara. I do not own a blow dryer. And I get off on goin’ down on chicks. Now which one, you or me, has more in common with Chace Keaton?”

  I had to admit, she had a point there.

  Krystal had to admit it too, even though I could tell she didn’t want to. I could tell because she opened her mouth and closed it.

  Twyla looked at me.”Throw yourself at him.”

  Krystal closed her eyes, dropped her head to look at her boots and her honeyed locks fell forward to hide her face.

  I whispered to Twyla, “I kinda already tried that.”

  Krystal’s head shot up as Twyla’s eyebrows did the same.

  “No go?” Twyla asked.

  “He, uh… shuts it down or, um… redirects it but um… mostly shuts it down and concentrates on kissing.”

  “He know you’re a virgin?” Twyla asked.

  “Um…” I answered, not knowing until then that Twyla knew I was a virgin.

  “How much neckin’ you do?” Twyla requested details when I was unable to go on.

  “I have little experience but it feels like, on a scale of one to ten, one hundred and fifteen.”

  Krystal grinned.

  Twyla kept up her interrogation. “So, you had little experience before him?”

  I nodded.

  “On a scale of one to ten, how much experience did you have?” Twyla pushed.

  “Point two five,” I replied quietly.

  “He knows you’re a virgin,” Twyla muttered and my heart jumped, not pleasantly.

  Krystal punched her in the arm. “Now you’re freaking Faye out.”

  “Uh, just to be clear, the ‘throw yourself at him’ bit already freaked me out,” I shared.

  “So what’s on tonight?” Twyla asked, ignoring my share.

  “Dinner at his place, the first time I’ve been there,” I told her.

  “Bring panties and a toothbrush. Then find a way to tell him you brought panties and a toothbrush.” She suddenly clapped, I jumped and she finished, “Done.”

  “Oh my God, that’s actually a good idea,” Krystal whispered and Twyla’s eyebrows shot up again, this time in affront.

  “You think I walked five blocks in the Colorado Mountain March cold for no reason?” Twyla queried. “I’m a lesbian who can jack most motherfuckers up. I know non-lesbians who can do the same. You bein’ one of ‘em, I might add, though you do it with a shotgun in your hand. Same freakin’ thing. But bein’ a lesbian don’t make me not good at advice.”

  I made mental note of this and added Twyla to my phone tree for when I experienced a relationship emergency.

  “I didn’t say that you weren’t,” Krystal retorted.

  “Felt that way,” Twyla shot back, Krys’s eyes narrowed and she leaned in.

  “Now you’re being sensitive. I’ll remind you, Faye called me,” Krys stated.

  “Maybe so, but when there’s a problem, it’s all hands on deck,” Twyla returned.

  Krystal had no retort, looked stymied and also looked angry that she was. Not unusual, just scarier than normal.

  I decided to wade in. “Just an FYI,” I said to Twyla. “I’ve added you to my relationship emergency phone tree.”

  Twyla grinned huge at me.

  “Great,” Krys muttered. “I finally get my shot, I get bumped because Twyla horned in.”

  I blinked at Krystal because she sounded genuinely aggrieved.

  It then hit me that Krystal Briggs had let me in. Not like she had Chace. In in. She cared about me. She wanted to help. I was past the hard outside layer that kept everyone out and was in the soft, warm center.

  Which made me feel warm inside too.

  “Don’t worry, Krys, her bein’ a virgin and him bein’ the kind of man he is, I’m sure you’ll get your chance,” Twyla assured.

  I suddenly didn’t feel warm inside anymore.

  “What kind of man is he?” I whispered and Krys and Twyla both looked at me.

  Then they both said at the same time with the same emphasis, “All man.”

  I felt a shiver. It wasn’t a bad one. It wasn’t a good one. It was a nervous one.

  “Right, so I was freaked out. Now I’m nervous.”

  Twyla tossed her hand in the air and stated, “You been seein’ each other awhile, that man’s been seein’ to you in that while, not pushin’ things, goin’ slow, keepin’ it controlled, you got no problem.”

  “This is true,” Krys said leaning into me. “No kidding, Faye. That says a lot.”

  I felt slightly better.

  I still needed guidance.

  “Um, so, how do I work in the panties and toothbrush? I mean, it’s not something you share over dinner,” I pointed out, trying not to blush but feeling the heat.

  “He’s got his tongue in your mouth,” Krys began, “and he’ll have his tongue in your mouth. You’re on the couch, and you’ll be on the couch. When he takes his tongue out of your mouth, find a way to whisper it in his ear. That’ll speed things up.”

  “Real quick,” Twyla agreed on a short nod.

  Oh man. I was beginning to waiver on my tonight’s the night decision.

  Twyla must have seen it because she leaned in. “He’s done good by you. He’s done good by this town. Word I hear, he’s pretty solid. So far, he’s taken care of you. He was way into you the other night. I may be into women but I spent a lotta time around men. You saved it awhile, you wanna give it away, you could do worse. But, honest to God, not sure you could find better.”

  I smiled at her because that made me feel much better.

  Unfortunately at that point, a patron approached the checkout desk with an armload of books. Fortunately, Krys and Twyla hung around long enough for them to vow to me they wouldn’t breathe a word about our discussion to anyone. One thing could be said of the two of them, if they vowed, which they did, they’d keep it.

  And last, since I hoped I’d be unavailable the next morning, I asked them to take care of Malachi. Krys jumped on that, took my list of things I thought he’d need, promised to stop by the store and leave the bags by the return bin the next day.

  So there I was, in my car on the road that led to Chace’s house. A road I’d only been on a few times in my life because there was no reason to go down it since it led to a dead end at the foot of the mountain and had nothing but a bunch of ranches on it. Those times I’d been on it were while driving around with kids in high school for no other reason than to pass time and listen to music loudly on the stereo.

  I’d changed purses because I now had clean panties, my toothbrush and I’d added face wash, moisturizer, deodorant and one of my sexy new nighties so I needed a bigger one. I thought it best to be prepared. If I was spending the night, I didn’t want to sleep in makeup. Slept-in makeup looked awful in the morning.

  I also had my sexy undies on and, just in case, had been wearing nothing but those every time I saw Chace which meant every day since I’d bought them. I’d changed out of my work skirt and into jeans, brushed my hair and done the run through a spritz of perfume routine. I was chewing on a piece of bubblemint because Chace told me in a growl during a make out session he loved the way I tasted. So if bubblemint was an addiction before, suffice it to say it was an obsession now.

  And I was nervous as all fraking heck.

  His house came in sight and I knew it was his because he told me it was the only one surrounded by a white picket fence. He also had the porch light on
and there were some bright floodlights at the side of the house that were lighting up the lane and the drive.

  I grabbed the wrapper, spit my gum in it, balled it up, threw it in my cup holder, deep breathed and turned in his drive.

  I parked, set the parking brake and when I went for my door, I saw the door to Chace’s house open. Chace, in jeans, a shirt and a kickass sweater, was walking out of it.

  The deep breathing stopped working.

  I managed to grab my bag, throw open the door and jump out. I slammed the door and walked up the cleared path, my eyes to Chace. He was standing at the top of the porch steps following my progress with his eyes at the same time looking outrageously hot. I figured this last wasn’t because his outfit was better than any other I’d seen him in because it wasn’t. Nothing beat the outfit he wore to The Rooster. Not even when I saw the faded jeans shirt in its full glory.

  It was because I was hoping I’d very soon see him out of his clothes altogether and I figured it would be a good view.

  I kept deep breathing, stopped at the foot of the steps and looked up at all his gorgeousness.

  Nervous, fearing I’d pass out, I said the first idiotic thing that came to mind and luckily it was just idiotic and not mortifying.

  “Do you like dogs and cats?”

  His head jerked and I watched his eyes, warm on me even in the cold night, blink.

  “What?”

  “Dogs and cats. Do you like them?” I pressed on regardless of the fact it made me sound like an idiot. I’d started down this road. I had to follow it to its fruition. Hopefully, though, it was less a road and more like a short lane.

  “Will my answer affect whether or not you’ll come into the house to eat?” he asked back.

  “No,” I answered then added a partial truth. “I’m coming in because I’m hungry.”

  “Then cats, yeah, if they’re the friendly kind who don’t mind being pet and don’t act like they own you rather than the other way around. Dogs, yeah, without any conditions,” he finally answered.

  “I’ve known a lot of friendly cats but I don’t know any who don’t act like they own you rather than the other way around,” I shared.

  “Then cats, no,” he amended his answer and continued with his own question, “Baby, you wanna tell me why we’re standing outside talking about cats and dogs?”

  I didn’t because a smarter conversation would be about birds and bees.

  I didn’t share that.

  Instead I said, “I’m thinking about getting one. A cat or a dog, I mean.”

  “Is my answer a deal breaker?”

  “In what sense?”

  “In the sense that if I say no, I don’t like one or the other, you won’t come into the house and eat.”

  “I already answered that.”

  “Yeah, darlin’, but I said no to cats and you haven’t come into the house yet.”

  “Oh, right,” I whispered.

  I fell silent.

  So did Chace.

  He broke it.

  “Faye, we’re still standing outside.”

  That was when I blurted, “I was leaning toward a cat.”

  After that was when Chace threw his head back and roared with laughter.

  I liked it but still, I bit my lip.

  When his eyes dipped down to me, he said through his waning laughter but he said it gently, “Baby, climb up the fuckin’ steps.”

  I climbed up the effing steps.

  I didn’t get to the top before Chace bent low and took my hand so the last two steps I did it hand and hand with his.

  He started to guide me across the porch to the door and I spied two rocking chairs with a table between them.

  White picket fence. Nothing but plains and ranches and mountains all around. It was darkening dusk so I couldn’t see but I already knew the views from his house would be astounding from every angle, the kind you would never get used to.

  Those rocking chairs would be perfect to sit in and read for hours in the summer. Or sit next to Chace and do absolutely nothing and be happy doing it.

  Somehow, this thought and how beautiful it was made me tug on his hand, turn slightly into him and go up on my toes.

  His body gave a slight jerk as if he was surprised but he still stopped with me and bent his head as if he knew I wanted his ear.

  Which I did.

  Because, into it, I jumped the gun and let it all hang out.

  “I brought clean panties and a toothbrush,” I whispered and held my breath, not moving, not even to breathe.

  Chace didn’t move either. Not a muscle. I didn’t even sense him breathing.

  Oh God. Oh frak. Oh God.

  Then suddenly Chace moved and he did it to let go of my hand, bend low and I was flying through the air but doing it safe in his arms, one of them behind my knees, one of them around my waist.

  I automatically curled an arm around his shoulders, tipped my head back and I did this last just in time for his mouth to take mine.

  Holding me, he opened the storm door and carried me over the threshold kissing me.

  So I guess I did it right.

  * * * * *

  A phone was ringing.

  It wasn’t the first time. In fact, it was the third.

  I heard it but I didn’t care. And I didn’t care the other two times either.

  This was because I was on Chace’s bed, in Chace’s bedroom, with Chace’s mouth on mine, his tongue in my mouth, his hand down my pants and I was this close to coming.

  This had happened fast, starting with the kiss Chace gave me while carrying me all the way to his bed. It was like the kiss he gave me before we went to The Rooster. Wild. Abandoned. Fiery. Exquisite.

  Luscious.

  But it was more luscious because he was doing it carrying me to his bed.

  You couldn’t get more luscious than that.

  He kept kissing me as he bent a bit, the light went on and he laid me on my back in his bed, immediately following me in.

  I knew he wasn’t controlling this. Not even close. I knew this when his hands went up my shirt and I felt them for the first time, warm skin against skin.

  I liked this so I reciprocated, tugging his shirt out of his jeans and my hands pushed inside.

  But I liked what they encountered more. Oh my fraking Lord, I liked it a lot more. Hot, smooth, hard with lots of interesting planes and bunches and ridges to trail my fingertips over and discover.

  My touch had an astounding effect and that was Chace’s hand gliding from my waist to my ribs and curling around my breast over my bra. Nearly instantly when his hand reached this destination, his thumb slid firm over my hard nipple.

  No one but me had ever touched me there and suffice it to say, Chace doing it while kissing me, lying mostly on me, his firm, hot skin under my hands while in his bed sent shafts of fire through me the likes I never experienced. The likes I didn’t even know existed. The likes I liked a whole heckuva lot.

  So much I tore my mouth from his on an arched neck, whimpering moan.

  This also had an astounding effect and that was both of Chace’s hands going to my jacket and yanking it down my arms. Then he pulled me up and jerked it away, tossing it to the floor.

  After it went my shirt.

  This might have freaked me out if his mouth hadn’t found mine, my back hadn’t again found bed and his hand hadn’t again found my breast and, last, his thumb hadn’t retraced its path then gone backwards for another swipe.

  I wasn’t wrong that the first time was magnificent because the second and third were just as fraking good. So good, I arched my back and whimpered into his mouth, my hands tugging his sweater up.

  Chace got the message I didn’t even know I was sending. I would know this when he tore his lips from mine, arched away from me, put his hands behind his shoulder blades, ripped his sweater off and tossed it aside. My shaking hands immediately and instinctively went to the buttons on his shirt. I got one undone before his back bowed, his
body shifted, I lost purchase on his shirt, his hand lifted my breast and his mouth closed on my nipple over my bra.

  Okay, oh frak, okay, the thumb swipe, magnificent. His mouth, sublime.

  My back arched so deep, it left the bed and a low, long, quiet moan rose out of my throat then I had his mouth back on mine, his hand and thumb back at my breast. I got another rough, wild, deep, wet, long kiss and I was already lost. But at his kiss, I knew I never wanted to be found.

  My hands were moving. Having minds of their own, they went everywhere they could find, touched everything they could reach, took in as much as they could get. Including running over his hard behind, one hand rounding his hip and then it happened.

  Not even thinking, just acting on instinct, so turned on, so out of life and into Chace, my fingers grazed the hard evidence of arousal.

  I gasped into his mouth because I liked it. Not a little, a lot. It wasn’t a surprise. But it was a gift, knowing I gave him that, feeling it, knowing that was all for me.

  And wanting it.

  Chace growled down my throat.

  Oh my fraking, fraking Lord, but I liked that a whole lot more.

  His hips jerked away, his torso came up, my eyes slowly opened and his hand went to my belt. I felt it tugging as my hands went back to his shirt.

  I clumsily managed to get two more buttons undone before the zip went down on my jeans and I heard Chace’s gruff, thick, deeper than normal voice call, “Faye.”

  My eyes moved to his and not even knowing why, just feeling the word come from deep in my soul, needing to say it, needing him to get it, I whispered, “Please.”

  His hot eyes holding mine, his hand slid in. Straight in. Inside my panties, fingers curving around, his middle one pressing in and my hips left the bed to push into his hand as my eyes closed. I felt my lips part, but mostly I felt nothing but how unbelievably awesome it was to have Chace’s hand down my pants.

  “Fuckin’ beautiful,” I vaguely heard him mutter then when his finger moved and I started to understand what heaven felt like, I equally vaguely heard him order, “Want that mouth, baby.”

  My chin tipped down instantly and he took it.

  Oh jeez. That was better. Tons better.

  Unable to do anything else, my fingers curled into his shirt tight. I held on and gave him my mouth, felt what he was doing with his finger and I held tense, my whole body, like if I let go, it would shatter.