The Tales Of The Heptameron, Vol. III. (of V.)
Page 12
_TALE XXVIII_.
_A secretary, thinking to deceive Bernard du Ha, was by him cunningly deceived_. (1)
1 The incidents of this story must have occurred subsequent to 1527. The secretary is doubtless John Frotte. We have failed to identify the Lieutenant referred to.--M. and Ed.
It chanced that when King Francis, first of the name, was in the city ofParis, and with him his sister, the Queen of Navarre, the latter had asecretary called John. He was not one of those who allow a good thing tolie on the ground for want of picking it up, and there was, accordingly,not a president or a councillor whom he did not know, and not a merchantor a rich man with whom he had not intercourse and correspondence.
At this time there also arrived in Paris a merchant of Bayonne, calledBernard du Ha, who, both on account of the nature of his commerce andbecause the Lieutenant for Criminal Affairs (2) was a countryman of his,was wont to address himself to that officer for counsel and assistancein the transaction of his business. The Queen of Navarre's secretaryused also frequently to visit the Lieutenant as one who was a goodservant to his master and mistress.
2 The Provost of Paris, who, in the King's name, administered justice at the Chatelet court, and upon whose sergeants fell the duty of arresting and imprisoning all vagabonds, criminals and disturbers of the peace, was assisted in his functions by three lieutenants, one for criminal affairs, one for civil affairs, and one for ordinary police duties.--Ed.
One feast-day the secretary went to the Lieutenant's house, and foundboth him and his wife abroad; but he very plainly heard Bernard du Hateaching the serving-women to foot the Gascon dances to the sound of aviol or some other instrument. And when the secretary saw him, hewould have had him believe that he was committing the greatest offenceimaginable, and that if the Lieutenant and his wife knew of it theywould be greatly displeased with him. And after setting the fear of thiswell before his eyes, until, indeed, the other begged him not to sayanything about it, he asked--
"What will you give me if I keep silence?"
Bernard du Ha, who was by no means so much afraid as he seemed to be,saw that the secretary was trying to cozen him, and promised to give hima pasty of the best Basque ham (3) that he had ever eaten. The secretarywas well pleased at this, and begged that he might have the pasty on thefollowing Sunday after dinner, which was promised him.
3 So-called Bayonne ham is still held in repute in France. It comes really from Orthez and Salies in Beam.--D.
Relying upon this promise, he went to see a lady of Paris whom above allthings he desired to marry, and said to her--
"On Sunday, mistress, I will come and sup with you, if such be yourpleasure. But trouble not to provide aught save some good bread andwine, for I have so deceived a foolish fellow from Bayonne that all therest will be at his expense; by my trickery you shall taste the bestBasque ham that ever was eaten in Paris."
The lady believed his story, and called together two or three of themost honourable ladies of her neighbourhood, telling them that she wouldgive them a new dish such as they had never tasted before.
When Sunday was come, the secretary went to look for his merchant, andfinding him on the Pont-au-Change, (4) saluted him graciously and said--
"The devil take you, for the trouble you have given me to find you."
4 The oldest of the Paris bridges, spanning the Seine between the Chatelet and the Palais. Originally called the Grand-Pont, it acquired the name of Pont-au-Change through Louis VII. allowing the money-changers to build their houses and offices upon it in 1141.--Ed.
Bernard du Ha made reply that a good many men had taken more troublethan he without being rewarded in the end with such a dainty dish. Sosaying, he showed him the pasty, which he was carrying under his cloak,and which was big enough to feed an army. The secretary was so glad tosee it that, although he had a very large and ugly mouth, he mincinglymade it so small that one would not have thought him capable of bitingthe ham with it. He quickly took the pasty, and, without waiting forthe merchant to go with him, went off with it to the lady, who wasexceedingly eager to learn whether the fare of Gascony was as good asthat of Paris.
When supper-time was come and they were eating their soup, the secretarysaid--
"Leave those savourless dishes alone, and let us taste this loveworthywhet for wine."
So saying, he opened the huge pasty, but, where he expected to findham, he found such hardness that he could not thrust in his knife. Aftertrying several times, it occurred to him that he had been deceived; and,indeed, he found 'twas a wooden shoe such as is worn in Gascony. It hada burnt stick for knuckle, and was powdered upon the top with iron rustand sweet-smelling spice.
If ever a man was abashed it was the secretary, not only because he hadbeen deceived by the man whom he himself had thought to deceive, butalso because he had deceived her to whom he had intended and thoughtto speak the truth. Moreover, he was much put out at having to contenthimself with soup for supper.
The ladies, who were well-nigh as vexed as he was, would have accusedhim of practising this deception had they not clearly seen by his facethat he was more wroth than they.
After this slight supper, the secretary went away in great anger,intending, since Bernard du Ha had broken his promise, to break also hisown. He therefore betook himself to the Lieutenant's house, resolved tosay the worst he could about the said Bernard.
Quick as he went, however, Bernard was first afield and had alreadyrelated the whole story to the Lieutenant, who, in passing sentence,told the secretary that he had now learnt to his cost what it was todeceive a Gascon, and this was all the comfort that the secretary got inhis shame.
The same thing befalls many who, believing that they are exceedinglyclever, forget themselves in their cleverness; wherefore we should neverdo unto others differently than we would have them do unto us.
"I can assure you," said Geburon, "that I have often known similarthings to come to pass, and have seen men who were deemed rusticblockheads deceive very shrewd people. None can be more foolish thanhe who thinks himself shrewd, nor wiser than he who knows his ownnothingness."
"Still," said Parlamente, "a man who knows that he knows nothing, knowssomething after all."
"Now," said Simontault, "for fear lest time should fail us for ourdiscourse, I give my vote to Nomerfide, for I am sure that her rhetoricwill keep us no long while."
"Well," she replied, "I will tell you a tale such as you desire.
"I am not surprised, ladies, that love should afford Princes the meansof escaping from danger, for they are bred up in the midst of so manywell-informed persons that I should marvel still more if they wereignorant of anything. But the smaller the intelligence the more clearlyis the inventiveness of love displayed, and for this reason I willrelate to you a trick played by a priest through the prompting of lovealone. In all other matters he was so ignorant that he could scarcelyread his mass."
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