We Did That?
Pain and Death is Beauty
“Today there is no excuse for a woman to grow old, unless she is ill.… If you want to keep up with this modern, wonderful world, you must be young in thought, feeling and appearance…and all you have to do is stretch out your hand to receive the magic bounty of glamour that modern science has prepared for you.”
—Lily Daché, Glamour Book, 1956
Fashionably Dangerous History
Before you males out there shy away from this chapter—you’re not getting out of it so easily. Men have had plenty of weird fashion trends of their own throughout the ages. From shoes with tips several feet long, to the proper mustache physique…weirdness, and ingenuity know no gender boundaries.
In this chapter’s epigraph, Lily Daché has a very bold, and (if you’ll permit me) slightly insane opinion on staying forever young and beautiful. But, while to our modern understanding this seems a ludicrous statement, I will also be bold and say that this opinion is still alive and well.
The difference is…it’s simply left unsaid. It doesn’t need to be said. What with thousands of products out there, promising youth and perfection, surgery and makeup to change a person’s appearance completely, and strategically staged social media posts that influence beauty ideals and trends, well…Lily’s philosophy is still embraced by our world.
While there is a glorious new wave of critics fighting ageism, body shaming, and defying beauty ideals, there is also a booming industry and culture, overflowing with toxic pressure to keep up appearances. And, new inventions and trends are constantly coming out, many, I hope we will quickly forget exist.
In this chapter, however, we can ignore current pressure and fashions, and instead, explore some of the oddest ones from the past. This way, we can see what our ancestors went through, and hopefully, gain some perspective. Though these trends are thankfully behind us, it will be interesting to explore what you, reader, think of what you see.
Do you smile and shake your head at our poor, hopeless predecessors? Do you laugh at the riddikulus-ness? Hopefully, many years from now, people of the future might call us out on our odd beauty trends!
Lipcersize
Angelina Jolie. Scarlett Johansen. Lana Del Rey. All these modern beauties have full, pouty lips that our species has prized for ages. This look has always been popular, but in the early and mid-1800s, having the “bee-stung” look on your lips was all the rage if you were a woman. As a result, many methods to achieve this look popped up.
The most accessible method was to practice lip calisthenics, repeating words beginning with the letter p throughout the day to strengthen your pucker. The most popular lipcersize chant was “peas, prunes, and prisms” with the occasional “potatoes,” “paper,” or “papa” added to the mix. Many young women were known to enter a room with the word “prism” fresh off their lips.
In her fabulous book on the evolution of beauty, American Beauty, author Lois Banner reveals that photographers of the time would even chide their subjects not to “say cheese” for their photographs, but instead recite their p-words. It’s also interesting to note that Elizabeth Cady Stanton once said that “she did not bother to give feminist literature to any woman who had the ‘prunes and prisms’ expression on her face.” Not that wanting pouty lips makes anyone anti-feminist, but we can guess she knew what she wanted her audience’s priorities to be.
Healthy, rosy-colored lips have always been attractive to our species. Through the generations, you’ll see there have been many crafty methods (weird to modern eyes or, um, lips) we’ve tried to achieve this look. From plants, to plaster, to animal fat, or worse. We may not ever fully understand why we want what we do, but there’s no denying that beauty standards have a tendency of becoming imprinted in our psyches.
In the 1900s, a woman named Marie Montaigne penned the book, How to be Beautiful, and in her chapter “Beautifying the Mouth,” she discusses the mouth as the key feature that expresses a woman’s character. She writes, “…beautiful lips are mobile and flexible. No matter the contour, lips that are fixed and tight are never attractive.” She then describes various methods of achieving the perfect lips, from keeping the corners of the mouth always turned up when feeling negative emotions, to pinching cheeks, and laughing. But not, she continues, “the constant laughter that pinches the lips and lines the cheeks.” God forbid!
Nowadays, we’ve forgone all this hard work, and have found different strategies to enhance our pouts, like lip fillers, plumping lip gloss, and plastic surgery. But, if you’re considering some of these more permanent options…now you know! Lipcersize is a cheaper, and less risky, alternative.
Among those less risky options, in 1924, a woman named Hazel Montealegre invented a device that claimed it could help women with small upper lips avoid cosmetic surgery. In order to achieve the “Cupid’s bow” shape that was popular in Hollywood at the time, her device would help “re-shape the upper lip of a person.” The device worked by clamping the upper lip to an ideal lip-shaped groove, and maintained it in a flare, while the underside of the lip was also clamped outward to puff the lip even further. I think I’ll take prisms and prunes.
Beauty to Dye For
A geisha walks into a bar. A female employee from Crest Toothpaste is sitting there, nursing a pint after a long day. When the geisha sits down a couple stools away, they look up at each other. They smile. They stare in shock.
The geisha has pitch-black teeth, darker than a moonless midnight.
The Crest employee has teeth so white the clouds are offended.
Their smiles falter. They each look confused.
The geisha takes pity upon the Crest employee, who looks like she’s going through something, and needs help warding off evil spirits. The geisha reaches into her pocket.
The Crest employee takes pity on the geisha, who looks like she’s never heard of toothpaste. Crest lady reaches into her pocket.
The geisha pulls out a jar of black tooth dye. The Crest employee pulls out a packet of Crest Whitestrips.
A young geisha with blackened teeth, darker than a moonless midnight.
I obviously don’t know how to tell a “person walks into a bar” joke. The fictional geisha in question has applied the ancient custom of teeth blackening, or lacquering, called ohaguro. Not something one sees often nowadays.
This custom is commonly linked to Japan, but has practiced in many other parts of the world, like Vietnam, China, and the Pacific Islands, as well as South America. There is no specific point in time when this custom began, but in Japan, the practice is prehistoric, and in other regions, it has been noted to exist as early as the Quin and Han dynasties (206 BCE–CE 220).
The demographics of who practiced teeth lacquering differ according to era and region, but it was mainly practiced by women, and the wealthy. It became associated with “coming of age” rituals for women, since they began applying the lacquer around the age they became eligible for marriage, and needed to attract possible suitors. These cultures believed that lacquered teeth were a true sign of beauty in a woman. And, as a young woman, who wouldn’t want to be called beautiful?
A young Tonkin woman from Vietnam with blackened teeth,
by Pierre Dieulefils.
Getting Dye and Dirty
As Lisa Eldridge notes in her historical makeup book, Face Paint, there are a few “whys” for this tradition. In Vietnam, it was thought to ward off evil spirits “stemming from the belief that long, white teeth belonged to underworld creatures, savages, and wild animals, and that painting the teeth black would protect the wearer from the evil spirits within them.” Also, it was done for a few more practical reasons.
In the height of this custom’s popularity, I’m sad to say there was no modern dentistry, nor were there Crest Whitestrips available to un-yellow your teeth. So, when geishas painted their skin white, the contrast between the
ir white skin and yellowing teeth was unattractive. So, they joined the dark side.
The dye used to achieve this look was a concoction called kanemizu, which, oddly enough, helped prevent tooth decay. It was made by dissolving iron filling in vinegar with other additives, such as gallnut power, sulfuric acid, and often a combination of ink, turpentine, and wax. Not the most delicious potion for daily tasting. Some sources claim the blackened teeth came from chewing betel nut, but this is not exactly accurate, since this nut usually causes a rust-colored stain, not a black one.
A woodblock print featuring a young woman blackening her teeth
(and in shock at the results, I would say).
This practice wasn’t as simple as slapping on a Whitestrip, and waiting five minutes. It definitely required some maintenance. The frequency of applying the dye would vary from once a day to every few days, because it eventually faded in the mouth—though not entirely, I’ll wager—there have been reports that excavated remains from the Edo period still had midnight-y teeth.
From a Western perspective, where we spend countless dollars trying to get our teeth white, this practice might seem confusing and odd. But, keep in mind this was, and is, an important part of many cultures—and I think I can safely say, many Western customs haven’t exactly been logical either.
If you journey to Vietnam, you’ll see this is still practiced in certain areas. However, in most regions, the popularity of this custom dyed out at the end of the nineteenth century; it was officially banned in Japan in 1870. If you want to see this custom firsthand, but can’t make it to Vietnam, I recommend you keep your eyes peeled. Because you may still occasionally see black teeth…on geishas, who walk into bars.
Wooden Bathing Suits
I think women can all give a silent prayer of thanks to the swimsuit gods that this trend didn’t last for long. In 1929, wooden bathing suits became all the rage, because it was believed to make swimming easier, due to the buoyancy of the wood. They were produced by Gray Harbor Lumber in Hoquiam, Washington, in the hopes that even the most hesitant swimmer would feel confident enough to jump right into the water. Gray Harbor was already renowned for profits it made in the lumber industry, and swimsuits, for some reason, became the next “logical” step in their product line.
The suits were made of spruce, thus, the ladies in the photographs earned their nickname “The Spruce Girls” (so close to The Spice Girls, I know). The design was fashioned into an hourglass, cinched at the waist, with flexible planks bound together.
The Spruce Girls promoting their fashionable digs.
Don’t they look like the perfect girl group? Like they’re about to break out in the song “Wannabe?” The photos shown here were taken on Gray’s big promotion day, when the ladies posed for photos, did video interviews about the products, and basked in the sun and sea. One video shows a designer, fitting different members of the group into different styles of the bathing suit, showcasing their versatility.
In an article by Vintage News, the suits were described as: “simple, cheap, and easy to make, yet fashionable and modern. In a way, they were promoting the DIY (do it yourself) and recycling for creating things. In one of the promotional videos, a girl [explains] how her father completed building a house and he had some leftover veneer. She used that veneer to make her own bathing suit.” Pretty creative!
Three of The Spruce Girls (I will never tire of saying it) standing and
holding an umbrella and a piece of foot-shaped wood.
There you have it: one of the roots of DIY and crafting! We might never know if these bathing suits were truly effective, providing the promised flotation, but I don’t think we’re missing out too badly. The first words that popped into my head when I saw the photos? Splinters in places where splinters shouldn’t be.
Urine, Dung, Poison, Oh My!
Clear, soft skin has been a standard of beauty, probably since Eve discovered the first mirror by looking into a puddle of water. A nice complexion has never gone out of fashion, and I’d argue, it’s less of a fashion and more of a permanent beauty standard.
All the way back to ancient times, having skin imperfections like acne, sallow coloring, or scars were the worst possible luck. Well, this is still an issue if you are in high school today. In her formative book, The Royal Art of Poison, Eleanor Herman writes that “…complexion was not simply a question of beauty. Blemishes of any kind were seen as proof of God’s displeasure at sin, or worse, inner derangement.” Fear of heavenly ire is a driving force behind many of our beliefs (just wait until you get to the next chapter). Such horror over these imperfections drove cosmetic inventors, and the general female public, to cringeworthy measures. In a nutshell: poison and other…unsanitary ingredients.
At the age of twenty-nine, Queen Elizabeth I was stricken with smallpox, which left small, pit-like scars all over her skin. To cover this up, she used a foundation from Italy called Venetian ceruse, also known as the spirits of Saturn. It contained a combination of egg whites, vinegar, lead, and sometimes arsenic.
In the short term, this paste could fill in the hollows, and give her skin a silvery-white appearance. But, over the long term, it led to hair loss, muscle paralysis, and a host of other issues, which probably shaved a few years off her life. In addition, the toxins left her skin even more corroded than before, so she had to cover up even more fiercely—a negative cycle that eventually couldn’t be stopped when it became addictive to the body.
Pale is the New Pink
Lead and arsenic are two of the most popular ingredients used in makeup throughout history. To date, the amount of lead allowed in our cosmetics is still not regulated by the US government. Gasp. Arsenic, thankfully, is almost nonexistent in commercial products worldwide. But in its heyday, there were several arsenic-heavy stuffs on the market, promising to cure everything from freckles and pimples, to headaches, rheumatism, and low spirits!
In the early 1890s, for only a dollar, you could purchase a box of Dr. James P. Campbell’s Arsenic Complexion Wafers, which contained one hundred and twenty wafers. Not too long after, in 1911, newspapers reported a young girl, named Hildegarde Walton, of St Louis, who was so eager to get rid of her acne, that she consumed several boxes of it. Spoiler alert…she died shortly after.
We might shake our heads at our ancestors’ carefree use of arsenic but, back then, many didn’t think it was all that bad. And, those who did still thought the risk was worth it. To their credit, there were results. However, like Queen Elizabeth’s case, these were short term results.
Many used it, not just to get rid of acne, but to get a pale, porcelain complexion. Well, they got it! The arsenic would severely decrease their production of red blood cells, giving an extremely pale complexion…because they had developed anemia.
This controversial painting, Madame X by John Singer Sargent,
sensualizes a woman with corpse-like skin.
An ad shown in Cosmopolitan magazine in 1896, lays it on really thick by promising to “give the complexion and indescribable brilliancy and lend to every young lady a charm of person which makes her adorable.” So, it could even change your personality, apparently. Not wrong—but it wouldn’t be in an adorable way. Prolonged usage caused severe mood swings.
It’s interesting to note that in the advertisement they talk
about their model in the past tense…
On the label of Dr. James P. Campbell’s Arsenic Complexion Wafers package, there was a guarantee spelled out in all caps: Guaranteed Absolutely Safe. You can trust a doctor, after all, can’t you?
The original product in all its poisonous glory.
The Face of Beauty
Arsenic had many shady friends. Other exciting ingredients you could find in skin remedies included human or animal urine, dung, fat, organs, blood—shall I keep going?
In The Royal Art of Poison Herman reveals: “Some women filled in smallpox pits wit
h a mixture of turpentine, beeswax, and human fat. Where to find human fat? You could buy it at your local apothecary or, cutting out the middleman, directly from the town executioner, who sliced it from the still-warm corpses of condemned criminals.” People and animals fresh off Death’s to-do list were very valuable commodities. Ladies in Queen Elizabeth’s time, who wanted soft skin, were urged to push their hands through the open wounds of animals killed while on hunting excursions, and rub it all over the areas they wanted softer skin or to cure warts.
A crafty sixteenth-century physician and alchemist, Maister Alexis of Piedmont, believed devotedly in dung. His prescription to cure pimples goes thus: “In the month of Maie, when oxen goe to grasse, or bee at pasture, ye shall take of their dung, not too freshe, nor too drie, then distill it faire and softlie into some vessel or glasse, of the which will come a water, without savour or evil stench, which will be verie excellent good, to take off all manner of spots or blemishes in the face, if you wash with it morning and evening.” Remember: semi-fresh dung only.
The good Maister also recommended a concoction of powdered mice dung, with a spoonful of sugar to choke it down, “for him that spitteth blood by having some vaine of his breast broken,” to be taken before breakfast and before bedtime. My two favorite times to eat mice droppings.
We Did That? Page 12