Inner Voices: The Awakening

by Barry Alder

  Damn her! he thought. What right does she have to question what I feel?

  “I’m sorry,” she continued. “I’ve offended you. That is not what I wanted to do. I just want to understand what you are feeling.”

  Jason looked at her, trying to gather some idea of what she was after; what her real reason for asking the question of him was.

  “There are some things I don’t wish to discuss,” he said. “Some things I wish to keep private.”

  “I’m sorry. I will respect your privacy.”

  Jason nodded to her, acknowledging her statement, but saying nothing.

  They looked at each other for a long while, saying nothing. Eventually, the silence was more than Jason could bear.

  “Thanks again for the meal. I haven’t had anything like this for a long, long time.”

  Lara laughed. “Centuries, I believe.”

  A pain hit Jason. He knew she had meant it in jest, but it brought back too many memories. Memories he thought he had under control.

  Lara saw the pain in Jason’s eyes and was immediately saddened. Once more in all too short a time, she had caused Jason pain.

  Dear Spirit, she prayed, what is happening?

  No answer came to her and she lowered her head.

  “I’m so sorry Jason. I didn’t…”

  “It’s okay,” he interjected, looking down at the ground. “I know you didn’t mean anything unkind by that. It’s just that it reminds me of exactly where I am.”

  Lara could say nothing. No words came to her, and her heart broke at what she had done. She reached over and took his hand.

  “I can't know what you’re going through, but if there is anything I can do to help…”

  The look in her eyes told him that she was speaking the truth. A part of him melted and he felt long buried emotions rising, emotions he did not want her to see.

  “I’m sorry, Lara, but I have to go. Please excuse me.”

  Turning abruptly, he walked off before the tears in his eyes could show.

  Lara stood and watched. She had felt his pain and the rising emotions in him, and understood his need to be alone. Much as it hurt her not to be able to do anything for him, she knew this part of his path had to be walked alone.

  Dear Spirit, please give him the strength to find his true path and to follow it, she prayed, hoping for the same strength herself.

  She stood for a long time, long after he was out of sight, before heading back to her hut, wondering what the future had in store for them.

  Chapter 11

  Heniel entered the dungeon and paused, steeling himself against the reek of blood, sweat, vomit, and excrement that rose to greet him. This was not a place where one such as he would normally visit, but his desperate need for the information he might gain here drove him past the point of caring.

  In the semi-darkness, he observed three cells, their floors covered with straw and filth, and each occupied by at least four people. Behind him, in a far corner, he heard the shuffling sounds of rats; a sound that sent a chill down his spine.

  Then he saw the reason for his being here. A naked and battered prisoner hung from the wall in chains. Blood ran from his wrists where the metal cuffs had cut deep. His feet were at an unnatural angle; the ankles obviously broken. Welts, some still bleeding, criss-crossed his body. Unkempt hair matted his drooped head, revealing a large patch of red where hair should have been.

  Heniel’s thin lips curved into a smile at the sight of the wretched man.

  “Emissary!”

  Heniel turned toward the voice, as a grimy bare-chested man emerged from the gloom. He was a short, rotund person, with a slow appearance and an obvious stranger to the concept of cleanliness.

  “How is our prisoner, Jannace?”

  He shrugged, and responded with a sly smile on his pockmarked face. “Hardly responds to my persuasions anymore. Don’t know if he’ll last much longer but I ain’t finished yet.”

  Heniel narrowed his eyes and glared down.

  “You fool!” he yelled. “I don’t want him dead! I want that information!”

  The smile dropped from Jannace’s face and he backed up. The Emissary’s temper was well known and Jannace had felt the brunt of it before.

  “Sorry, Emissary,” he said sheepishly, “but he be strong-willed, this ‘un, and won’t let out a peep.”

  Heniel’s anger flared again.

  “Then I’ll have to do it myself, won’t I?” he said coldly. “Wake him!”

  Jannace waddled to the bucket by the wall, picked it up and splashed the fetid water over the prisoner. The man coughed feebly and moaned as he tried to raise his head. Heniel grabbed the man’s hair, and jerked his head up.

  “This is your last chance, my friend. Tell me where the village is!”

  “No,” the prisoner croaked before coughing again.

  Heniel slammed the man’s head against the wall.

  “Wrong answer!” he yelled. “I know you’ve been there and I know you’ve seen their magic!”

  The man moaned quietly.

  “They have no magic,” he whispered softly, “but you wouldn’t understand what they do have.”

  Heniel released his grip, letting the head drop suddenly, and walked over to the fire pit. He slowly removed a short iron rod, and examined its almost white tip. He returned to the prisoner, and again lifted the man’s head. Then unhurriedly and very methodically, he scorched the man’s neck with the red-hot tip.

  “One last time,” he hissed into the man’s ear. “Where is the village?”

  The man remained silent, barely breathing.

  “So be it,” the Emissary said calmly, and then deliberately pushed the poker into the prisoner’s right eye. The man’s body flailed as he screamed in pain, and then went limp.

  Heniel motioned for the jailer to use the water bucket again.

  As the man regained consciousness, Heniel lifted his head and whispered softly.

  “I’ve been very patient with you, my friend. Why do you do this to yourself? You can end it all by just telling me what I ask. Where is the village?”

  The man turned away, but said nothing.

  Anger seethed within him. How dare this creature defy him? With a burst of rage, he thrust the poker up through the man’s jaw and into his head.

  Heniel pulled the iron from the corpse, dropped it, and turned to Jannace.

  “Get rid of the body. It’s of no use to me anymore.”

  Heniel took a slow, deep breath, trying to calm the anger boiling within, and then marched out of the chamber.

  Jannace stared at the body with a look of disappointment on his face.

  “Didn’t have too much fun with that one,” he said to himself wistfully.

  Then he smiled. His skills were in great demand right now, and there were many others like him. The Empire had enemies in a number of quarters, and the Emperor was not tolerant of, nor patient with them. There would always be more like this one, and soon there would be someone new to play with. Perhaps he’d be lucky and get a woman. He hadn’t had one in a long time and the thought brought a grin to his face. Yes, that be good, he thought. Them’s always scream the loudest.

  * * *

  Heniel had just turned off the main hall of the palace when he heard his name called. He stopped, frozen, and slowly turned to face the caller, a man he neither admired nor trusted.

  “Your Majesty,” he said as he bowed.

  “And how are you faring with your latest acquisition?” the Emperor asked.

  “I am sorry to say that he didn’t survive,” replied Heniel evenly.

  “Oh,” commented the Emperor nonchalantly. “You don’t seem to be having much success in locating that village of yours. Perhaps I should have some of my personal attendants look into it?”

  Heniel paused briefly before responding in the required, respectful voice.

  “That won’t be necessary, your Majesty. I am sure I will discover its location. Even though the traitor di
dn’t survive, he did tell me enough to let me know that I am getting close to the truth.”

  Heniel kept his face impassive at the last statement. It was not true, but he did not want the Emperor interfering with his quest. If the legends were true, he wanted the magic for himself, and had no interest in sharing it with a man he secretly considered beneath him.

  The Emperor looked closely at Heniel for a few moments before speaking.

  “Continue then,” he said dismissively, and walked away.

  Heniel fumed. That this dim-witted, self-absorbed, excuse for a man should be Emperor was completely beyond his understanding! But he had to be careful. The Emperor had many followers; followers who would gladly take over the emissary’s position if he showed any weakness.

  Controlling his rage, Heniel remained stationary until he was again alone in the hall. Someday, he vowed to himself, he would be Emperor, and would take great pleasure in squashing the pretentious nothing that had just left. Someday soon.

  * * *

  The morning sun found Lara on her stool, meditating. She had not slept well and had risen early to do her meditations. As the warming rays struck her, she shifted her position; slowly returning from the deep meditation she had been in.

  She let out a soft sigh. Her meditation had not brought her any answers or peace, and instead of invigorating her, she felt stiff and tired.

  As she was stretching, Mi’kol came up to her.

  “I detect a dissatisfaction within you.”

  Lara smiled at him as she finished stretching.

  “Greetings Mi’kol. Yes. There is an uneasiness within me that I can’t identify.”

  “You feel for him, don’t you?”

  “Is it that obvious?”

  “Only to those who can read you easily.”

  Lara laughed. This was Mi’kol’s way of saying he knew her very well.

  “So what am I to do?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Nothing?”

  “Yes, nothing. Right now, the actions of others need to be completed, and until that is done, nothing you do will change things. So do nothing.”

  As usual, Mi’kol had identified the problem easily and had given her the best advice possible. In her heart, she knew this was what she needed to do, but a part of her wanted to help Jason with his pain.

  “He must deal with his own pain before he can grow,” Mi’kol continued, “and only he can do that."

  “So what brings you here so early, Mi’kol?”

  “Your father sent me to get you. He is already speaking with Jason about his plans and wishes that you join them.”

  “Why me? I certainly have no knowledge to help them with.”

  “It puzzled me as well, but your father is sometimes much wiser than he appears. I believe this is one of those times, even though I do not see that wisdom. Yet.”

  Lara smiled. That was one of her father’s traits that she, and many others, admired. He had the knack of putting the right people together even if it initially appeared that they had nothing in common.

  “Please tell my father I will be there shortly.”

  Mi’kol nodded and left. Lara closed her eyes and wondered what she could contribute, but nothing came. Still, she trusted her father’s wisdom and knew the answer would eventually come.

  Chapter 12

  When Lara arrived at her father’s hut, she saw that Mi’kol was to be part of the discussion, along with Louise. That pleased her. Having the feminine energy in any serious discussion always led to a more balanced solution, and she knew that Louise, despite being a soldier, carried a very strong feminine energy.

  “Hello Father!”

  “Ah! Lara. I’m glad you could join us. We’ve been discussing how the mountains and reefs provide a natural defense for our village. It was something I had not thought of before. I guess it is part of my learning a new way.”

  “It’s not really a new way,” Jason said, “it’s more like looking at what you have from a different perspective.”

  “And perspective can be very limiting at times,” Mi’kol interjected.

  “What you mean?” replied Jason.

  Mi’kol paused for a moment, apparently deep in thought.

  “When you look at something, you bring your whole history and past into that action. In most cases, you see what you want to see; especially when what you are looking at cannot be easily identified.”

  “I understand that, but I suspect you have some other, deeper meaning in mind.”

  “A perfect example! You are looking at what I say with your perspective and because of that, you make assumptions. In this case, they are correct, but they could have just as easily been wrong.”

  “Okay, now I’m confused,” replied Jason.

  “Good! That is the perfect place to start from. Being confused means your internal filters have broken down and that what you are seeing doesn’t fit neatly into any of your preconceived ideas. It is the perfect state to see reality.”

  “Now you’ve got me confused too!” said Louise, shaking her head.

  Lara laughed. This brought back memories of a lesson with Mi’kol many years ago when she, too, had become very confused. She knew what was coming and could only sympathize with Jason and Louise, as they were about to become even more confused.

  “Ah, so you think you know what will come next Lara?” said Mi’kol as he looked directly at her.

  “It does remind me of a past encounter,” she said sheepishly.

  “And that shows me that you too are stuck with a preconceived idea. Your own perspective.”

  Lara blushed, something she had not done in many years. Mi’kol was right, as usual. She had forgotten some of her teachings.

  “You are expecting me,” Mi’kol went on, “to continue leading them down the path of confusion until they are totally lost. Is that not correct?”

  “Yes,” she replied. “That is what I expected.”

  “Perhaps at another time I would have. But right now, it would not serve our purpose. At another time, maybe, we will travel that path. Right now, however, we need clarity more than confusion.”

  Mi’kol paused and then turned back to Jason.

  “I raised the problems of perception only to alert all of us that there are always more options than the ones we easily see. It would be in our best interest to investigate all the options we can.”

  “May I ask a question before we begin in earnest?” asked Jason.

  “Certainly,” replied Ka’tel. “We all need to learn everything we can from each other.”

  “Do you have any idea when the Empire’s advance forces will arrive at the town we went to?”

  “An excellent question,” interjected Ka’tel. “Unfortunately, we only have a rough idea. They appear to be a couple of months away, to the south.”

  Ka’tel turned to Mi’kol, who seemed to sense the question before Ka’tel could speak.

  “No, my friend. I do not have any more information. There are many possibilities converging and none is more prominent than the other. All, however, are based on our decisions and actions, and not those of the Empire. In this situation, we appear blessed to be able to direct the course of events rather than just react to them.”

  Jason was puzzled by this. Too many times in the past Ka’tel, Mi’kol, or Lara had said something as cryptic as this and he had let it pass. Now he wanted an explanation.

  “Do you mind telling me what you mean by that? You sound like you're talking a secret language, trying to hide something from us. I thought we were going to help each other with everything we know.”

  Ka’tel looked a bit shocked.

  “I am truly sorry Jason. We did not mean to exclude you from this.”

  Ka’tel looked at Mi’kol, who nodded slowly.

  “We all have the ability to foresee the future, to a certain extent. At least, we can see some of the possibilities. Mi’kol has a greater capability of this than anyone else in the village.”

 
“So that’s why he’s your spiritual leader?” asked Louise.

  “No. That is merely one of his gifts. He is our spiritual leader because he has very close ties to Spirit and to the other planes of existence.”

  “Oh great!” said Jason. “You mean to tell me your culture is based on mumbo-jumbo?”

  “I do not know what mumbo-jumbo is,” replied Ka’tel, “but I can see your feelings quite clearly. You do not believe in other planes of existence, do you?”

  “No, I don’t,” replied Jason quickly. “And I certainly don’t believe that, even if they did exist, anyone from here could contact them.”

  Mi’kol turned to Louise, who had remained very quiet during this discussion.

  “And what do you believe?”

  “I know that there is something more than we can see,” she answered. “And that there is a greater intelligence in the universe, and that it looks out for us. As for other planes of existence, I don’t know.”

  Mi’kol smiled, pleased with her answer, and then turned back to Jason.

  “So, not all of the people from your time are as cynical as you.”

  “That depends on what you mean by cynical, and who you talk to.”

  “Again, the matter of perspective comes back.”

  “This is getting us nowhere!” Jason retorted angrily.

  Ka’tel sighed. “I have to agree with you Jason. This does not appear to be leading us to harmony.”

  “So what’s next?” asked Louise.

  “I think we should hear Jason’s plan,” replied Lara.

  “A good idea,” stated Ka’tel. “Jason?”

  It was obvious Jason was still upset with both Ka’tel and Mi’kol, but now he had his chance to speak on something he knew quite well.

  “There's one thing we need to know as soon as we can, and that’s the capabilities of the Empire, both the advance unit and the main forces. We can formulate an initial plan right now, and I have some ideas about that, but until we really know what we're up against, I wouldn't trust any plan we make.”

  “And how do we determine what the Empire has?” asked Lara.

  “Well, unless Mi’kol has some special insight to this, we've got to go out and see for ourselves.”

  Jason looked over at Mi’kol, who smiled but said nothing.

  “You mean we have to go to the Empire forces and examine what they have? Is that not very dangerous?” asked Ka’tel.

  “You’re correct on both counts Ka’tel, but it's something that can’t be avoided.

  “And there’s an additional danger you probably haven’t considered. We have to do this without them knowing. If they find out we are spying on them, they are likely to come here as fast as they can and we won’t have time to prepare for that.”