Going Rogue

by Robin Benway

  “So how did you know?” Roux asked Angelo that evening. We were still waiting for Ames, who had texted Ryo twice, but Ryo refused to show Roux any of the texts, even after both she and Élodie attacked him. “Jesse, handoff!” Ryo had shouted, and Jesse had taken the phone from him and held it above their heads until they promised not to read it.

  “Well, it is public record,” Angelo answered Roux. “And Maggie had never mentioned it, so I suspected that she didn’t know.”

  “I didn’t know!” I wailed. “I’m so sorry, Roux! I should have asked.”

  “It’s fine, it’s fine. My God, you have enough guilt to power the Vatican.” Roux seemed amused by all the fuss I was making, but I felt terrible. “And you know, we’ve been a little busy,” she pointed out. “I don’t think I could handle a surprise party. This week has been exciting enough.”

  “Why did we never celebrate, though?” Jesse asked. “I don’t remember any parties or anything.”

  “It’s not during the school year.” Roux shrugged. “It’s right before the start of school, which is horrible, by the way, in case you were wondering. It really puts a damper on any celebrations.”

  Jesse and I were starting to realize the same thing at the same time, though. “Your parents didn’t celebrate it,” I said.

  Angelo leaned against the kitchen sink and glanced at his watch. “Where is that Ames?” he said distractedly.

  “It’s not a big deal,” Roux insisted. “They would call if they were gone, and they’d send these huge gifts with bows and paper. And I had nannies until I was twelve, so …” She trailed off, then snapped herself out of it. “Seriously, it’s fine.”

  Ryo and Élodie looked at Jesse and me. “Your parents,” Élodie said, slinging an arm around Roux’s shoulders, “sound like absolutely horrific people.”

  Roux glanced up in surprise. “Well, that’s because they are.” She laughed a little. “And I did get a Fabergé egg and a ridiculous amount of money out of the deal, so it’s not doom and gloom. And—”

  “I’m back!” Ames cried. (I was starting to see why Angelo had soundproofed the place.) “I’m back, I’m back! Everyone in the kitchen! Is Roux still here?”

  “Where would I go?” Roux wondered aloud as Ames burst into the room, cheeks flaming and eyes sparkling. If a stranger happened to stumble into our apartment, they would have thought it was his birthday, not Roux’s.

  “Oh good!” Ames said, several bags in his hand and out of breath, like he had been running. It was incredibly adorable and Roux bit her lip when she looked at him, trying to keep her smile from getting any bigger.

  “Please tell me there aren’t any balloons,” she said. “Or clowns. Do you even have clowns here in France? Oh, no, you have mimes, don’t you? Please, don’t tell me there’s a mime waiting in the living room or I’ll—!”

  “No and definitely no clowns or mimes or anything else that’s mute,” Ames assured her. “It’s your birthday, not a nightmare.”

  Ryo grinned at Ames. “Ames loves a good time,” he told us. “And a good party.”

  “So does Roux,” Jesse said. “Admit it, you love it.”

  “I do,” she said. “I’ve just never had one before.”

  “Darlin’, that is so tragic.” Ames sighed. “We have to fix that.” He set down his bags and clapped his hands together. “Might as well start now!”

  An hour later, the small apartment kitchen had been transformed into one of the best parties I had been to. Ryo and Élodie had thrown cheap crepe paper streamers between the light fixtures, and Ames had made a playlist that consisted mostly of the Beatles, Jay-Z, and a French band that sounded amazing, even if I couldn’t understand any of their lyrics. Roux could, though, and she danced in her bare feet as we ate everything I could find in the refrigerator that was party-appropriate. (Mostly cheese and olives and two baguettes, but Roux seemed fine with that.)

  “Okay!” Ames announced as he paused the music. “It is officially nighttime, which means we can officially toast Roux’s birthday.” He produced two bottles of champagne. “Don’t worry, there’s more,” he said, “but this can get us started.”

  Of course, Angelo had gorgeous cut-glass champagne flutes stored away in a hutch in the guest bedroom, and he pulled them out so we could toast properly. “These are never used,” he said. “It’s nice to see that they still function.”

  Roux had been silent this whole time, her cheeks pink from dancing and also, I suspected, pure delight. “It’s not like this is my first drink,” she told Ames as he made a big deal of handing her a glass that was half-full of Veuve Clicquot. “I hate to tell you, but you’re not the only lawbreaker here.”

  “Yes, yes, but this is your first drink on your eighteenth birthday and you’re in Paris, so this counts more than all the others combined. Now a toast!”

  “Oh, God,” Roux muttered, covering her eyes with her free hand. “This is so embarrassing.”

  “I’ll start!” Jesse said, holding out his glass. (Jesse didn’t drink, so his was filled with mineral water.) “To Roux, my oldest friend. I’ve known you longer than almost anyone else, ever since that first day of preschool when you stole my Transformers action figure and wouldn’t give it back. This wasn’t quite how I saw our friendship going, I’ll admit, but I’m glad it did. Happy birthday.”

  “Aww, Jesse, you’re not supposed to make me like you!” Roux protested through her smiles. “That was so sweet!”

  “My turn!” I said. “Roux, not only are you my oldest friend, but you’re my best friend. You were the only person who would talk to me last year, and you’ve always had my back. Even when someone was shooting at it, which I really appreciate. I love you.”

  Roux just shook her head, and I could tell she was trying not to cry. “This is why I don’t have parties,” she said. “I get too emotional.”

  “Which brings it to my turn,” Angelo said, his smile warm as he sent it in Roux’s direction. “I’m sorry that our celebration is happening amid some international turmoil, but the fact that you’re a part of it means that you’re a part of our family now. I told you last year that you had been a wonderful friend to Maggie, and that has only continued. I know you don’t hear this very often, but I love you very much, and you will always have a place in our homes and hearts and lives.” He raised his glass up and winked at her. “To Roux.”

  Roux’s eyes spilled over and she crossed the room to hug Angelo’s waist as tight as she could. He hugged her back, kissing the top of her head.

  “She didn’t even spill a drop,” Ames said, making everyone laugh.

  “I told you this wasn’t my first time,” she said, wiping at her eyes as she pulled away from Angelo. Ryo shut off the lights, and Élodie came into the room with seven small raspberry tarts on a tray, the center one lit by a tall sparkling candle. It looked like a firecracker and Roux started laughing when she saw it. “This is too much,” she said.

  We sang to her, anyway.

  When we were done, Ames stood behind Roux and held her hair back. “You have to make a wish!” he told her. “Hurry, before this thing launches itself through the ceiling.”

  “Spoiler alert,” she said. “It already came true.” And she leaned forward to blow out the candle.

  Chapter 32

  After the champagne was gone and the playlist on Ames’s computer started to repeat itself, Jesse and I climbed out the window in Ryo and Élodie’s bedroom and went out on the roof. Élodie had mentioned it earlier, how beautiful the views were, and she wasn’t kidding.

  “This is amazing,” I said. “Almost worth being on the run, right?”

  “Totally,” Jesse agreed as he settled down next to me. The sky was a dark blue, not quite entirely black, and all of Paris shimmered below us. Off in the far distance, the Eiffel Tower stood at attention. “Is that a McDonald’s?” Jesse asked, pointing at something, then chuckling when I slapped his other hand away.

  “You’re ridiculous,” I said, then took
his hand in mine and kissed the back of it. “Way too ridiculous for me.”

  “I try. I like Ames, by the way. He’s really good for Roux. She’s not so …” Jesse flailed his arms and made a crazy face. “You know, like that. She’s calmer with him.”

  “Well, apparently she’s eighteen now,” I said. “She’s an adult. I hope she’ll still talk to us mere children.”

  “I wouldn’t worry about that,” Jesse said.

  “Do you think Ames is a good guy, though?”

  “Yeah, I do,” Jesse said. “Look at it this way. Roux’s always making a big deal about people, right? And things and just stuff in general. She gets excited about everything, but no one ever really makes a big deal about her.”

  I rested my head against Jesse’s shoulder. “That’s true. We usually just go along with her.”

  “Exactly. And somehow in less than two days, Ames figured that out and knew how to fix it. That’s a good guy right there, trust me.” Jesse paused before adding, “And if I thought he wasn’t a good guy, I would drop kick him out the window.”

  I smiled to hear him be so defensive of Roux. “My hero.” I sighed. “I’m very lucky.”

  “Yeah, you are,” Jesse agreed. “Almost as lucky as me.”

  “Can I ask you a question?” I said, then continued before I lost my nerve. “Why do you keep dating me?”

  Jesse turned to look at me, all joking gone. “Wait, what?”

  “Why do you keep dating me? I keep putting you in these terrible situations and you stick around.”

  Jesse looked at me for a long minute. “You seriously don’t know why I stick around?” he asked, almost incredulous. “Are you being serious right now?”

  I nodded. I hated being vulnerable in front of him, asking him the questions whose answers scared me more than Dominic or any of his cohorts.

  “Okay,” Jesse said, settling back next to me and putting his arm around my shoulders. “Let’s start with the A’s!”

  “You aren’t seriously going to—”

  “Ambitious!” he said. “Beautiful. Caring. Determined. Eager to learn.”

  “That’s cheating,” I said, but I couldn’t hide my smile.

  “Shh, I’m trying to romance you on a rooftop in Paris. Be quiet. Where was I? Oh, yes. Fearless. Generous. Happy.”

  “I’m not happy all the time!”

  “You have a happy spirit. Work with me, Mags, okay? This isn’t easy. Ignominious!”

  “I don’t think that’s a compliment.”

  “Jolly!”

  “Did you just compare me to Santa Claus?”

  “He’s beloved by millions. You should be so lucky.” Jesse tucked some of his hair behind his ear and pretended to think. “Where were we? Oh, yes! Kind! Loyal!” He stopped for a minute and looked down at me. “Very, very loyal. You never leave anyone behind, even when it means life or death.”

  We both had to take a deep breath then, and I remembered how his shirt had felt in my hand as I had pulled him to the ground as the shooting began, how his pulse had pounded against mine. “Magnificent,” he murmured. “Nice. Opulent.”

  “I sound like a McMansion.”

  “There’s a reason I didn’t say optimistic for O. Pretty. Resourceful.”

  “You skipped Q.”

  “Damn. Q … Q … Queryful? Is that a word? Querying? Questioning, there it is!”

  I was laughing too hard to answer, but I nodded my head.

  “R was resourceful, so now it’s S. Sneaky, which I like. Trustworthy. Undeterred. Valiant.”

  “Oooh, tough one coming up,” I teased. “X. And if you say X-rated, I’ll hurt you.”

  “T should have been Threatening. Um, okay, X …

  X … Xcellent!” I pretended to applaud. “Well done, well done.” “We’re rounding third and going home,” he announced.

  “Yearning. And zealous. Boom!” Jesse thrust his arms in the air, as if all of Paris was clambering to their feet and cheering for him. “Thank you, thank you so much! The entire alphabet about how my girlfriend is awesome. People magazine should be calling me about their Sexiest Man Alive issue”—Jesse pretended to check his watch—“any minute now.”

  “You’re insane.” I giggled. “But literate. And very good with the alphabet.”

  “I went to kindergarten and everything,” he boasted. “Plus I’m bilingual.”

  “Definitely worth a kiss,” I told him, then cupped his cheek in my hand. His stubble was rough against my palm, and I kissed him gently, almost like he would blow away. “I love you,” I whispered against his mouth. “You’re my favorite. You’re mine.”

  “And you’re mine,” he replied, kissing me harder. “I know you don’t think so, but I’m lucky to have you.”

  “I almost got you killed.”

  “And now I’m in Paris, looking at the city lights with my amazing girlfriend. Ups and downs, babe. They happen to everyone.”

  We kissed a few more minutes, the emotion starting to deepen between us. Sometimes I felt like I couldn’t kiss him enough, like I wanted more of him until there was nothing left to have, and I pushed him back a little so I could climb into his lap. His hand settled at the small of my back, holding me steady as I straddled him on the small terrace, and he leaned on his elbows so that I could rest against his chest as we kissed.

  When we finally pulled apart, my cheeks felt scratched from his stubble and I was breathing hard. So was he. “Someone’s probably watching,” I said. “Or looking for us. Or waiting for us.”

  Jesse nodded, trying to calm his own breathing. His hand slipped under the back of my shirt and stroked the skin there. “I have something for you,” he murmured.

  I leaned away a little, raising an eyebrow. “Is that a euphemism?”

  He grinned, his teeth white against the darkened sky, and pulled me back to him as we sat up. “Not quite,” he said, “but I like your dirty mind.”

  I kissed his cheek as he dug something out of his pocket, then held it up between his fingers. It shimmered a little, reflecting the city lights below us, and I reached out to take it from him. It was a gold chain, so thin that it almost seemed invisible, with two charms dangling from it.

  “If you hate it, that’s okay,” Jesse said, and I could hear the nerves in his voice.

  “I don’t hate it,” I said, but those words seemed inadequate. “I don’t hate it at all.” I leaned in closer so I could see the charms. They were both tiny and gold, but I couldn’t see what they were in the dark.

  “I got it for you after we had that fight,” Jesse explained, resting his chin on my shoulder as he talked so that his voice was soft in my ear. “I felt bad and I had been stupid, so yeah. This one’s a compass.” He poked at one of the tiny charms, then pulled something out from under his shirt. I saw a matching compass glinting on the edge of a chain. “I have one, too. It’s so you always find your way back to me, and so I can always find you, wherever you are in the world.”

  It hurt to talk. It hurt to think. It hurt to even breathe, my chest was so full of love for him. “What about this one?” I asked, poking at the second charm, only an inch long. “Is that … is that a knife?”

  Jesse grinned and nodded, kissing the spot right behind my ear. “It’s for fighting the good fight,” he said. “Which you always do.”

  I turned so I could look at him, resting my palms on either side of his face. “You are amazing.” I sighed. “Absolutely amazing.”

  “Not all the time.” He shrugged. “But I have a few moments every now and then. So you like it?”

  “I love it,” I said, tugging it over my head. “Why are you the best?”

  “Because I learned it from you,” he replied, then wrinkled his nose. “We sound so stupid sometimes. ‘I learned it from you.’ Roux would puke if she heard us.”

  I leaned in to kiss him. “Bring on the stupid.” I laughed, but Jesse stopped me, putting his finger to my lips.

  “Shh,” he whispered, and I looked over h
is shoulder. “Roux’s busy, I guess.”

  Roux and Ames were in the dark bedroom, illuminated by only moonlight as they shared a kiss. Ames held her so tenderly, his hands on her hips as if he knew how fragile she could be, and Roux stood on her tiptoes to reach his mouth. It was so intimate that I wanted to look away, but my heart swelled to see Roux happy.

  “Told you he was a good guy,” Jesse murmured in my ear. “Not even getting handsy with her.”

  I kissed his shoulder and we snuggled together, waiting for Roux and Ames to leave before climbing back inside.

  Chapter 33

  The next morning, Angelo woke me just as the sun was rising.

  “Whuzzat?” I said, sitting up. “Is everything okay?” Jesse was asleep next to me, one arm slung over his head and his face mashed into the pillow. (My boyfriend was many things, but he was not an elegant sleeper.)

  “I’m so sorry to wake you, darling,” Angelo whispered. “It’s early, I know. And everything’s fine. I just need the coins from you. I have to leave this morning for a few hours, and I don’t want you to have the coins in case something goes wrong. It’s too risky for you.”

  I reached under my pillow and pulled out the pouch. I had carried them everywhere with me, even the bathroom, for the very reason Angelo mentioned. I didn’t want anyone else to hold them and have to assume that responsibility.

  “Travel safe,” I said, then collapsed back into my pillow and fell asleep before I could even hear the door click shut behind him.

  A few hours later, we were all awake and gathered around the kitchen table. “We need an emergency meeting place,” Ryo said. He wore a different pair of frames every day. Today’s were a dark jade green and they glinted in the late morning light. “But where?”

  We thought for a minute. The problem with Paris wasn’t that there weren’t enough options, but that there were too many. Every third doorway had probably once housed someone famous. Or, as Roux kept putting it, “Marie Antoinette probably died there.”

  Now, though, she was deep in thought, her fingers drumming on the table in front of her. She and Angelo had re-created their long-standing chess game the night before, and now her eyes were glazing over as she stared at it.