by Lara Norman
"Those on foot will continue to search for her until dark. We have Chatsworth County on alert to bring out their search dogs. That will take the better part of an hour given their distance from this location. If you have any questions, receive any unusual phone calls such as a request for ransom, or if you find her, please call the station immediately." When she stuck out her hand, Devon shook it halfheartedly.
He didn't know what they expected of him at that point, but he knew what he wanted—no, needed—to do. Grabbing his keys off the peg by the door of the office, he headed for his truck. When he reached the door, he realized he had company.
Caleb and Vince climbed into the four-door truck with him. Caleb sat in the front because he had the longest legs and needed the most room. Vince got in the back and clapped Devon on the shoulder as he spoke. "Let's look for her."
Devon pulled away silently and began the tedious task of driving up and down all the streets in a grid. He moved from the shop to the center of their small town in agonizing slowness, looking between houses and behind businesses whenever possible. He rolled his window down and called Hailey's name until he was hoarse. When he couldn't see the streets anymore, he realized it was because tears clouded his vision and night was falling.
The abruptness in which he stopped the truck sent his passengers surging forward. Caleb braced his hands on the dash and stared at Devon. "Out, brother. Switch with me."
Devon climbed out without a word, swapping with Caleb and settling in the passenger seat to stare out the window. His lungs were burning, his chest heavy and hollow. His head was a mess of thoughts and worry, what ifs and despair. What if they didn't find her out there? Night was almost upon them, and his five-year-old would be lost and alone. It was cold. She had to be hungry. How would he sleep? How would he cope?
He simply didn't have it in him to go through this much loss another time. He didn't want to stop the search, couldn't admit it was time to give it a rest for the night. His daughter was out there in the dark; he couldn't focus on anything else. By the time Caleb pulled back into the shop parking lot, Devon’s breathing was shallow and quick. Slumped forward, he tried to remember how to breathe as the truck door opened and his brother grabbed his shoulders to pull him upright.
"Come home with me. I'll help you get through this."
Devon gasped for several minutes as the panic attack hit him hard. Caleb hugged him, supporting him through it all. Devon knew he was lucky to have the brother he'd been blessed with. Vince was there too, one hand clamped on his shoulder in a show of solidarity.
"Devon?" The sound of his mother's voice brought his head up from Caleb's shoulder.
"We've been out looking for Hailey," Caleb explained to Lydia.
Dried tear tracks lined her face, and she looked miserable.
"We went with the search dogs when they arrived. They didn’t pick up her scent past the property line." Their usually well put-together father was disheveled, his shirt untucked and his hair a flyaway mess.
"What could have happened?" Lydia asked.
"I don't know, Mom. I wish I did," Caleb answered since Devon continued trying to breathe through his panic attack.
"Lori is a mess, Caleb. Why don't we take Devon and you get your wife home?" Don suggested.
Caleb hesitated, looking around for Lori. She was inside the office, sitting on the couch with Vince's wife Anna.
"Go, Caleb," Devon gasped. "I'll be fine with Mom and Dad."
Caleb didn't exactly believe him, but he stepped away regardless. He had to focus on Lori and how losing Hailey was affecting her, especially since she was pregnant. Don took his place, helping Devon out of the truck since it appeared the panic attack had passed. Lydia wrapped her arms around Devon and just held on. He didn't have it in him to console them, even though he knew they were upset, too.
"What did the police say?" Devon asked his father eventually.
"They said they'll begin again in the morning."
"I don't know what to do. She's alone, and it's dark and cold. She's my baby, Dad, how do I live with this?"
"I don't have the answer to that, son. I'm sorry."
A sob escaped him as he clutched his mother tighter. He had no idea what he was going to do with himself until Hailey was found.
Caleb and Lori left, and then Vince and Anna went home. Don and Lydia put Devon in their car and drove to his place where he wandered the empty house, lost and alone again. He found himself in his daughter's room picking up her favorite stuffed bear and staring at the pink and yellow comforter on her bed. Tears slid down his cheeks even as his knees gave out and he sank to the floor. He screamed as loudly as he could, roaring his anguish into the space surrounding him. Without Hailey, he had no reason to go on. They had to find her. They had to.
Lydia found him, alarmed by his screams. She simply sat on the floor with him and held him as they both cried. "We'll find her, Devon. I promise we'll fix this. I promise."
If only he could believe her.
Chapter Two
That first night without Hailey was the stuff of nightmares. He screamed and begged for God to spare his daughter's life. In his opinion, God owed him after taking Kathy away from him. Lydia did her best to soothe him, but he was so far beyond her help that there wasn't much she could do. It reminded her of the day her daughter-in-law died.
Devon had worked himself into such a frenzy that he vomited on himself and on his daughter's bedroom floor. He choked and gagged until there was nothing left inside him, leaving behind an empty shell. Lydia helped him to his feet and pushed him into the shower with his clothes on. He merely rested his head on the cold tiles and cried his eyes out. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't even focus on putting one foot in front of the other. All he could think of was going back out and finding his baby girl. Staying in the house rendered him useless. Resolve hardened, he moved quickly to dry off and change.
As soon as he’d redressed, he grabbed his keys and headed out the door, but his father intercepted him in the kitchen. "Son, where are you going?"
"To find my daughter." Devon thought it was pretty fucking obvious, and he didn't like being questioned. He was going out there whether or not his father liked it.
"It's the middle of the night. You need to sleep." Don tried to speak in soothing tones to placate his distraught son.
"I don't need to sleep!" he screamed at his father. "I need to find my girl! I need to get the fuck out there and not give up looking until she's found!"
"Listen, Devon, I understand you're frustrated—"
"Do you? Do you understand what it's like to watch your wife die in your arms because some bastard was drinking and driving? Do you know what it's like to put yourself back together piece by piece and think your life is finally normal, only to have your daughter go missing?"
"No, of course not. I apologize for insinuating that I understand your pain. That's not what I intended. I merely meant I can empathize with your need to search for her, but you also have to take care of yourself and stay strong so you can be healthy when they find her. She'll need you when she comes back."
"She can't be found if no one is looking, and right now, no one is looking."
Devon brushed past his father and headed out into the dark. Once he reached the shop, he retrieved his flashlight from the truck before starting on a journey through the woods. A small part of him knew there was no point going through there since the search dogs had found no traces of her, but he wasn't in the frame of mind to think rationally.
It wasn't long before he heard someone calling his name. He stopped moving and shined the beam of his flashlight in the voice's direction. "Vince?"
As he neared him, the form of his lifelong friend came into focus. "Your dad called me. He didn't want to piss you off by coming himself, but he didn't want you out here alone."
"I can't just go to bed while she's still missing, Vince."
"I know. Let's look for a little longer."
Vince and Devon
swept their flashlights back and forth, aiming at the ground as they walked. There wasn't even the slightest sign of Hailey, but Devon noticed some dog footprints in the softer soil. He knew they were wasting their time.
"This is bullshit." Devon stopped walking, looking around himself at the pitch black night. There wasn't even a moon to guide them.
"I don't know where else to look, Devon. Maybe you really should sleep and let the cops figure it out in the morning."
He knew Vince was right, that it was the logical thing to do, but his chest hurt at the thought of giving up. Sighing, he felt another tear slip out. "You're right, I guess. Thanks for helping me look."
When they reached the parking lot, Vince hugged Devon for a good long while before they parted and went back to their respective homes. Devon didn't sleep; in fact, he felt worse than before. He was exhausted both mentally and emotionally, not to mention his physical state. He'd never cried so much in his entire life, not even after Kathy died. At some point in time after her death, he'd reached a numbness that allowed him to be dry-eyed, but not that night. All he could do was cry for his baby.
Sunrise came and Devon prepared with a thermos of coffee. He couldn't imagine choking down any food, so he didn't even bother trying. At barely daylight, he pulled into the shop parking lot, impressed to find several police cars there already. Someone had set up a table under a white awning and people were moving about.
"Okay, everyone see where the grids are marked off? Don't stray past your sector and remember to radio in every half hour."
The chief was the one speaking, and there were men and women in similar Merrimac Police coats like the one she wore.
Spotting Devon, the chief headed over. "Mr. McMillan, are you joining us this morning?"
"Absolutely. What can I do?"
Chief Hemsworth motioned to someone. A lanky man with blond hair falling across his forehead came over. He was wearing a police uniform. "Sergeant Hurley, this is Mr. McMillan. Take him with you."
"Yes, ma’am." Hurley turned to Devon. "Call me John. It's your daughter we're looking for, yeah?"
"It is." Devon choked on his answer.
John touched his shoulder. "Let's get out there and find her."
Devon could only nod. They headed toward the woods again and joined up with a young woman. She said nothing, just fell in step with them.
"Why are we looking here when the dogs have already covered this area?" Devon asked.
“We'll spread out farther than the dogs went," John responded. “Chatsworth County Search and Rescue is currently on the far side of this sector, heading in our direction. The parking lot at your place of business is the best location for a base of operations because of the thickness of the forest area."
"Why are they that far away? She's only five, she couldn't have gone that far on her own." He saw the sergeant and the young woman exchange a look. "What?"
The woman spoke with authority, though she didn't wear a police uniform or coat. "Sir, we're no longer treating this as a child that might have wandered off. We're treating it as a child taken against her will."
The idea of someone taking his daughter sent bile racing up the back of his throat. Devon fell against a tree trunk and threw up, his thermos hitting the pine needles near his feet. There was little left in his stomach to come up, but he continued to dry heave, regardless.
"I apologize for distressing you." The woman was at his side, rubbing his back soothingly.
Devon waved her off, and she moved away. After a minute, he straightened and wiped his mouth on the tail of his shirt. The sergeant offered him the thermos he'd recovered from the ground and Devon accepted it from him.
"It's better you know, Mr. McMillan. We believe that initially, Hailey wandered outside your shop unassisted, but once she was a decent distance away, someone picked her up. We have to focus on hiking trails and abandoned properties now."
Devon looked at the petite brunette and tried to process her words. "You think she—she's . . ."
"We don't know anything for sure, but as you said, it's highly unlikely a five-year-old could wander past the boundaries of our previous search on her own."
"God." He fisted his hand to his lips and tried to hold in the scream of anger and despair building in his throat. Kidnapped. He didn't like the sound of the word as it swirled around in his head.
"We should keep moving."
"Hemsworth," John said in annoyance.
"You know I'm right," she mumbled.
"Wait." Devon interrupted their brimming argument. "You're related to the chief?" He could see the resemblance now the Sergeant had put the name out there.
"I'm her daughter, and the dispatcher that answered your sister-in-law's call yesterday afternoon."
"Oh."
John gave her a pointed look and started walking. Devon followed him, and the woman trailed behind them.
"Base, this is Hemsworth and Hurley. We had a minor setback, but we're headed to our initial destination now. Over."
The radio crackled in her hand. "Everybody good, Chloe? Over."
"All good, Mom. Over and out."
The trio walked in silence for several more minutes. Devon's head was a mess of worrying thoughts about what could have happened to Hailey. He didn't like the way the Hemsworth woman had spit out the information, but he agreed he was better off knowing.
The sun was halfway up in the sky by the time they stopped to rest. They had called in their location several more times, John or Chloe checking their compass and a map often. They had found nothing, but Devon had a new appreciation for what they were doing. They checked under bushes, looked up in the trees, and called Hailey's name over and over. Occasionally, Devon could hear others calling his baby girl's name, too. He figured it was a good sign that so many people had come together to help look for Hailey. He hoped it meant the chances were greater that they would find her sooner.
When they stopped, John said they were near the Nash Stream Forest boundary line. It wasn't officially marked, it was just another patch of forest, but the map had it marked specifically. John handed out the power bars and bottles of water he carried, but Devon could only toy with his.
It was Chloe who spoke up after ten minutes had passed and Devon hadn't eaten. "You need to rehydrate, Mr. McMillan. The body can only sustain itself for so long with a lack of water. Longer without food, but it's the water that's the most vital."
Devon stared at her, thinking of Hailey out there somewhere without food and water. His stomach clenched, and he couldn't eat even if he tried. "I can't." If he choked on his own words, how was he supposed to force food down his closed-off esophagus?
"You should try. If you collapse, you'll end up in the hospital and you’ll be of no use to anyone."
He couldn't imagine how the nervous energy he was currently feeling would morph if he was stuck in a hospital bed. Though his stomach churned, he nibbled on one of the power bars. He had to take small bites and follow them with plenty of water because his mouth was so freaking dry.
"Base to Hemsworth and Hurley."
Chloe picked up the two-way radio and spoke into it. "Hemsworth to base. Over."
"The team on Nash has finished and found nothing of significance. Over."
Chloe took a deep breath and smiled at Devon. "Thanks for the news," she said into the radio. "Over."
"Base over and out."
"Devon, that means they didn’t find her in Nash Stream," John explained. "None of her clothing or belongings were there, either."
Devon closed his eyes and leaned forward until his forehead nearly touched his knees. He was glad to be sitting down. It was the first piece of good news he'd had since Hailey went missing, and he clung to it.
Chapter Three
When Devon, John, and Chloe returned to what they referred to as the base of operations, they found Lydia handing out sandwiches to the volunteers. Immediately, Devon walked over to her and wrapped her in a hug.
“Where’s Da
d?”
She patted him on the back before pulling away to answer him, gesturing vaguely toward the trees. “He’s out there. So are Caleb and Vince. I heard the officers on the radio; they’ll come back soon.”
“Okay.” Devon nodded, not sure what else to do. It was late in the afternoon, and everyone had been on their feet for somewhere around nine hours.
“Mr. McMillan.”
Devon turned to see John standing there. Next to him was Hailey’s teacher. “Oh, hey, Miss Alicia.”
“It’s actually Mrs. Hurley. You’ve been out there with my husband all day.”
Devon frowned at her warm smile. He felt like he should have put that together sooner. “Oh. Sorry, my brain is . . . I guess I’m exhausted and not thinking clearly.”
Alicia touched his arm. “That’s understandable. I’m sorry they weren’t able to find her yet. I didn't know what to tell her classmates today, so the other teachers and I agreed to say she’s out sick. I hope that’s all right with you.”
He didn't have it in him to worry about what the other students at the elementary school thought. “Whatever you think is best.”
John spoke up. “There’s another team working an area further out until sundown. They can only go so far as the border of the mill.”
Devon’s head swam. “Why is that?”
“We don’t have the right to trample on private property without a warrant. Rebecca has been in contact with the owner’s son, and from my understanding, they’re attempting to get in contact with him for permission to search. He’s currently out of town on a deep-sea fishing expedition.”
“Who is Rebecca?”
“Chief Hemsworth,” John clarified.
“Okay. It’s just so much to take in. I’m overwhelmed,” Devon admitted.
“I know. Just realize no one is giving up, yeah?”
Devon nodded again and turned back to his mother. She’d continued to hand out sandwiches while Devon had been speaking to John and Alicia.