Shattered Heart: A Single Dad Romantic Suspense

by Lara Norman

  “First love is the craziest,” she stated with a knowing look.

  “Why do you say that?” He hadn't felt crazy with Kathy, just very much in love.

  “My first boyfriend? We did things that were so out of character for me. I thought if I didn't do the craziest things to impress him, then I didn't really love him. Like I had to prove myself to myself.” She shook her head. “As the chief’s daughter, I should have known better. I could have disgraced her.”

  “Wow. It sounds like you were more adventurous than we ever were.”

  She grinned at him. “But I learned my lesson. I realized nobody was worth my dignity.”

  He raised his brows. “At such a young age?”

  Chloe chuckled. “I was twenty.”

  “Late bloomer, then.” Based on how long she’d been at her job, he pegged her as being in her early twenties.

  “Well, yes. With a cop for a mother, it’s hard to date seriously. They tend to run off at the first sight of her shotgun.”

  Devon laughed. “I bet that was hard in high school.”

  “Not to mention I’ve known most of the men in my age bracket since they were in diapers.”

  “That is a downside to living in a small town. Kathy moved here from Seattle, so she was like fresh meat to everyone else. I didn't place any expectations on her, and it made it easy for us to be friends.” He stopped talking as Hailey walked into the kitchen and right up to Chloe.

  “Look at me!” She spread her arms and twirled.

  Chloe squatted to her level. “I see you walking all by yourself. I’m so proud of the hard work you put in.”

  “And I lost a tooth.” Hailey gave a wide and crooked smile to show off the space where her tooth had been. “I got a whole five dollars from the tooth fairy!”

  “Wow! What are you going to spend it on?”

  Hailey shot a glance at Devon. “Daddy says I can’t spend it all on candy, but I can get a little. And I want bubbles!”

  Chloe chuckled. “That sounds like fun. A bit of candy is a good idea.” Chloe straightened and ruffled Hailey’s hair. “Have you been playing with Brandon?”

  Hailey dropped her gaze, causing Devon to speak up in her place. “According to her, Brandon is a baby,” he whispered. “But she’s been very nice, despite her opinion of their age difference.”

  “He scribbled all over my unicorn, Daddy!”

  “Oh, now, no tears, little miss.” Chloe stroked Hailey’s cheek. “He didn’t mean anything by it. You can put away your unicorn coloring book and pull out another one you don’t mind him scribbling in.”

  “Okay,” Hailey said glumly.

  They watched Hailey dawdle on her way to the dining room table where Brandon was knocking over a short stack of blocks. He was three, and Hailey had recently turned six. It was hard for her, but she tried.

  “She’s such a sweetheart,” Chloe said without looking away from the table.

  “I’m pretty sure she’s all Kathy.”

  Her gaze traveled to Devon’s face at that comment. “You raised her, you know.”

  “With a lot of help,” he pointed out.

  “Okay, and? Does that make your part in it any less important?”

  “Does it ever occur to you that not everything that goes through your head should come out of your mouth?” he said in return.

  Chloe barked out a surprised laugh. “No, I guess not.”

  “Hey, Devon. Chloe.” They both looked up as John approached them.

  “Hey, man.”

  “You look better than the last time I saw you,” John remarked as he gave Devon a once over.

  Devon scrubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I decided drinking wasn’t good for me.”

  “Great idea.” John clapped him on the shoulder. “However, I’m going to go ahead and have a beer.” John smirked and left them alone again.

  “Do you want to sit down?” Devon offered to Chloe. “We don’t have to stand here.”

  Chloe looked around. “Maybe in the living room?”

  He followed her to the couch. They had a clear view of the table Hailey and Brandon were at, as well as most of the family through the opening to the kitchen.

  “How is your business faring?”

  He sighed. “We had a few orders this week. The time until completion is longer than I’d like since it’s just me.” He watched Caleb pass through the dining room, tickling Hailey before moving on. “It’s been hard on my savings, but I’m getting there.”

  “So it’s possible everything will actually work out?”

  He rolled his eyes. “Maybe.”

  “Seriously, you’ve made a visible change. Your attitude is everything. If you assume it’s all going to shit, then it will. You’d be shocked what a positive outlook can do for your life.”

  “Honestly, if you want to start a new life as a shrink, I’ll be the first to write a letter of recommendation.”

  Chloe laughed. “Okay, should we talk about our hobbies? I’m guessing you haven't had the chance to get to any of yours recently.”

  “No, I definitely haven’t.” Lydia came into the room, but she took one look at the couch and stopped at the dining room table. “Do you ever get the feeling that your family is avoiding you?”

  “Avoiding me?” She followed his line of sight to Lydia. “No. Why do you think they’re avoiding you?”

  He shook his head and gazed at her. She sat near him, angled in his direction. “I can’t explain it, but I keep finding myself alone.”

  “We’re talking, so I imagine they don’t want to interrupt.”

  “Maybe.”

  Lydia finally came over. “I thought we could have some dessert now, if you’re interested.”

  “Yes, thank you, Dr. McMillan.”

  Lydia took Chloe’s hand as she stood. “Sweetheart, I’ve asked you for years to call me Lydia.”

  Chloe blushed. “I know, but I see you so often at the hospital that it doesn’t feel natural.”

  “You don’t call your mother by her title at home, do you? Or Mom at the station?”

  “Of course not.” She smiled at Lydia. “I promise I’ll try to remember.”

  Lydia patted Devon’s cheek and left them alone.

  “I didn't realize you knew Mom.”

  Chloe looked at Devon in surprise. “She spends plenty of time at the hospital. You know, delivering babies and all.”

  “That’s true. It’s just not something I’d thought about, I guess.” Sometimes he forgot how small their town was, especially since he didn’t know everyone. But his parents were out in the community much more than he was and were acquainted with almost every person who lived in Merrimac.

  Chloe went ahead to the kitchen, but Devon stayed there in front of the couch. Finally, Hailey came to retrieve him.

  “What are you doing, Daddy?”

  He blinked. “I don’t know. Are you ready for pie?”

  “Yes!” She clapped her hands. “I asked Grandpa to make apple.”

  “Your favorite.” She tugged on his hand until he followed her. Lydia was at the stove with Don, and the others were scattered around the island and the table. Hailey went ahead to get her piece, but Devon stayed in the doorway. Lori and Chloe were talking about something, and John attempted to get Brandon to make less of a mess. Alicia passed a plate to Caleb as Don brought it over.

  It looked like a family. An extended one, for certain, but a happy family gathered to celebrate a special event.

  “Devon, come over here and have some pie,” Lori called.

  He went, sat next to Hailey, and stared down at the plate Don set in front of him. It looked perfect; melting vanilla ice cream and a dollop of whipped cream adorned the top. “Thanks, Dad.”

  But Don had already moved on. Devon couldn't put his finger on what he felt. Nothing was wrong, exactly, just . . . different. Odd.

  “Daddy, eat it!” Hailey said. He stuck his tongue out and she giggled at him.

  He took a bite,
enjoying the contrast of warm and cold on his tongue. Alicia laughed at something, and Chloe followed suit. Caleb ate too fast, as usual, meaning he finished first. He took Maisie from Lori’s arms so she would have an easier time eating her slice. Devon took another bite, listening to the surrounding conversations. Alicia spoke of a little kid in Hailey’s class, one she knew, and how they were looking forward to her returning to school.

  Devon had forgotten she would go back next week. They’d worked on papers and tests in the last few weeks, trying to get her caught up. She could have technically gone back much sooner, but Devon had asked for more time. He didn't actually think he was ready now, but he knew Hailey was. He couldn't keep her home forever, as much as he wished he could homeschool her. He didn't have the patience, much less the time.

  Which made him think of the orders coming in recently. He really had thought the business was broken beyond repair, and then he got two calls in three days. A headboard and footboard for one couple, and an entertainment center for the other. They would bring in some cash, and he needed that. He didn't want to borrow from his parents. They’d already picked up the slack in many areas of his life without him having to ask, like groceries and the fact they were providing the roof over his and his daughter’s head.

  “Do you think so, Devon?”

  His head popped up at the sound of his name. “What was that?”

  Alicia tittered a laugh. “I said, Hailey is more ready to come back to school than you are to send her.”

  Devon nodded vigorously. “Absolutely.”

  “I miss my friends.” She bounced in her seat.

  “No more chasing after squirrels, young lady,” Don chided.

  There came the lump in Devon’s throat. It had a permanent residence. He swallowed past it, knowing Alicia would keep a close eye on her. The pie was the most interesting thing to focus on for several minutes while Hailey and Don talked more about her class, with Alicia chiming in. He’d have to let his daughter out into the world again, back to a scary place where absolutely anything could happen to her and he had no control over any of it.

  “She’ll be okay.”

  A soft touch accompanied the gentle voice. Blinking, Devon lifted his head and met Chloe’s warm brown gaze. “I hope so.”

  Only time would tell if he would be okay, too.

  Chapter Twenty

  “What are you doing here?” Devon asked his brother. He’d just stopped to take a break from the piece he was working on when Caleb came striding into the back through the front reception area.

  “Lori basically told me to get out of the house unless I want Maisie to be the only child we ever have.” He looked extremely stressed out for such a laid back person.

  Devon barked out a laugh. “Driving her crazy, huh?”

  “I guess. I try to be helpful, but she said she just wants some alone time during Maisie’s nap.”

  “Well, I can definitely use your help.” He looked around the workshop. “It feels real good to be back in here.”

  “I bet. Olivia seems to be working out up front.” Caleb wandered, picking up a sandpaper block and getting to work on the supple curves of the headboard Devon was in the process of making.

  “She’s smart and fast, both a plus.”

  “Good. Lori will be pleased to hear that.”

  They worked in silence for several minutes, Caleb sanding and Devon sketching the outline of the entertainment center on order. One thing Devon appreciated most about his brother was that he didn't need to fill the air with idle chatter.

  Still. “I decided to find a therapist.”

  Caleb didn't stop moving or look up. “Good.”

  Devon straightened, wiped his brow. “That’s all? Good?”

  “Yeah, brother. I know you’re doing much better, but it can't all be smooth sailing. Doesn't mean I need to throw you a parade for making the right choice.”

  Devon snorted.

  “You give any thought to women?” Caleb said, maybe less casually than it sounded in his head.

  “Women? Like dating them?”

  Now Caleb snorted. “Yeah, dumbass. What else?”

  What else, indeed? “No, I haven't thought of women since Kathy and I began dating.”

  “You should have, years ago.” Caleb ran his hand over the smoothness he’d created. “Like a baby’s ass.”

  Devon watched his brother with the sandpaper, wishing for a stiff drink. Rolling his shoulders, he put his pencil behind his ear and walked to the mini fridge in the corner. “Want a bottle of water?”

  “Nah.”

  “So I should have been dating by now. Is that what you’re saying? Just add it to my list of faults.”

  “That’s not what I said.” Caleb watched Devon unscrew the lid of the water, tilt the bottle back. “Chloe is pretty, and she doesn't seem to find your emo ass annoying.”

  Devon choked on the water, causing Caleb to guffaw.

  When he could breathe again, he said, “What the hell?”

  “Timed it just right, I’d say.” Caleb grinned and hummed a tune as he finished off the section he was working on.

  “Why are we talking about Chloe?”

  “I would have thought it was obvious, but let me spell it out. She likes you. She’s not ugly. She fits in with the family. Hailey loves her.” As he made each point, he ticked them off on his fingers.

  “I can’t say I realized any of this.” Okay, maybe he noticed she’s not ugly. “She is good with Hailey, but that’s not a reason to date somebody.”

  “Not a reason not to, either.” All serious, Caleb met his brother’s gaze, held it steady. “All I’m saying is, it wouldn't kill you to find some happiness again.”

  “I love my wife.”

  Caleb’s tone gentled, even as he toughened his words. “Kathy is dead, Devon. You aren't.”

  “There’s no way I could ever love anyone the way I loved Kathy.” He felt the claws ripping their way up his throat, tried to smother them with more water. He breathed deliberately, evenly. Slowly.

  “Look, I’m not saying it would be the same. Of course it’ll be different. But that doesn't mean it isn't as strong or as good.” He walked over to Devon, put his hand on his shoulder. “Sometimes you can find happiness when you aren't looking for it.”

  “I don’t even know what to say to that.”

  Caleb shrugged and went back to work. “Just think about it.”

  He thought about it, all right. Couldn't stop thinking about it as he finished his workday and went home. His parents were heading out of town for a few days, and Devon found his father packing in his bedroom.

  “Dad, can I talk to you?”

  “Of course, son.” Don set aside the sweater he held and sat on the edge of the bed by his suitcase.

  Devon remained standing, paced the room, and came back. “Do you think true love is a one time deal?”

  Don smiled warmly. “No. I think there are levels of true love, if you will.”

  Devon sank into an armchair by the window. “What do you mean?”

  “When I was in high school, I was in love. Head-over-heels in love with Mary Ellen, the senior editor of the school paper. She and I had everything in common.” His smile changed, became nostalgic. “Mary Ellen was my One with a capital O. She and I were made for each other. We had plans to get married, and I prayed it would work out. She was my dream.”

  “What happened?”

  “You don’t realize how first love can feel like the end-all, be-all even when it’s not. You don't realize that sometimes it’s only so intense because it’s all you’ve ever known.” Don pointed to the picture of Kathy and Hailey on the bookshelf. “She was your first love, Devon. There’s no telling if the two of you would have been happy all your lives.”

  “We would have.”

  “I understand your vehemence. The two of you were very compatible, and you're the constant sort. You would have made your marriage work.”

  “So what are you saying?�
� Devon asked impatiently.

  “I’m saying some people love more than one person at a time and have to choose, or have both. I’m saying some people fall in and out of love at the snap of their fingers. And, most of all, thank God I met Lydia before I married Mary Ellen.”

  Devon left the room feeling more confused than ever. If what he’d had with Kathy was just the rush of first love, did that mean there was more out there for him? Had he buried his head in the sand because he assumed there was no point in finding second best?

  His cell phone rang, and he fished it out of his pocket as he headed into the kitchen.

  “Hello?”

  “Devon, it’s John. Alicia wanted me to give you a head’s up.”

  “Okay.” Opening the refrigerator, he contemplated what to make for dinner.

  “Brandon is sick. I’m sorry we didn't know before the party, or we wouldn't have brought him.”

  He shoved the door closed with a thud and leaned on it. “What does he have?”

  “Stomach bug. Sorry, man.”

  Devon thumped his head on the fridge. “Not your fault. I need to check on Hailey.”

  “Sure. Bye.”

  Dinner forgotten, Devon climbed the stairs to see how Hailey was doing. She’d been napping when he got home, which hadn't seemed like such a big deal at the time. Most six-year-olds didn't nap, but most of them hadn’t been through what Hailey had.

  The door creaked just the slightest as he opened it. She appeared fine from where he stood. He went back down the hall to his father.

  “Has Hailey said anything about not feeling well?”

  Don zipped his suitcase as he answered. “No, just that she was tired. Why?”

  “John called. Brandon has the stomach flu.”

  “That’s not good. You need me to call your mother? I was going to pick her up so we could head straight to the airport, but we can probably work something out.”

  Devon just shook his head. “No, you two go. I’m sure the medical conference will be tons of fun.”

  Don chuckled and clapped Devon on the back as he passed him. “It’s not about the conference, Devon. It’s about the hotel room.”