Cinder by Ashes

by Pinder, Victoria

  The music changed again, and people were about to toast the bride and groom.

  However, Jesse’s arm went around my shoulder and he said, “Let’s get out of here and go celebrate your birthday.”

  “We don’t have to. In the end, I wasn’t alone.”

  But I’d go anywhere with him. Even to his room. I’d never imagined being with a guy, or what sex might be like, but Jesse made me wonder about everything.

  He led me out the side door we’d used earlier to go to the balcony. Once we were alone, I said, “I had a cake last night with my brother, for the first time in five years.”

  We held hands but this time, instead of heading toward the vineyard, we circled around the building.

  “Now you’ll get two. One with me. And I promise that, for as long as you let me, I’ll celebrate your birthday with you.”

  The parking lot was filled with cars, mostly limos for the wedding guests, but we paid no attention to anyone.

  “You made fun of me yesterday.”

  He winked at me. “I was teasing you.”

  Somehow, Jesse had this way of making me believe in the impossible. We continued on our path, though I had no idea what his plan was, and I didn’t bother to ask.

  I said, “Well, I accept, Jesse. As long as you don’t expect me to pick up your clothes.”

  He stopped as we neared the corner of the building. “You were the maid, too?”

  I couldn’t lie about what my life had been like. “Maid, gardener, salesman … I figured my freedom would come in seven weeks.”

  He massaged the back of his scalp as he took in my words. “What happened to your brother?”

  My life must sound horrible to someone whose own life was a never-ending party. My stomach began to twist but I kept going. “He moved to Florida, trained as a wrestler, got a professional contract, and now he’s training for the next summer Olympics.”

  “Wow. He’s dedicated.”

  Jesse wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. I rested my head against his chest and I could hear his heartbeat. He made me feel whole. He said, “If you let me, I’ll never let anything bad happen to you ever again.”

  A life with him as my personal bodyguard and friend seemed almost impossible.

  “I’d like that. I’m happy we’re both going to Austen, and we’re friends now, for real.”

  We stepped around the corner, and he bumped into me. “We’re more than friends.”

  “We are?” I asked, and my heart was practically in my words.

  He led me to the front entrance of the hotel, but instead of going back to the ballroom, we went into the separate restaurant.

  “I hope so,” he said.

  “Me, too.”

  A waitress showed us to a table. As I sat down, he said something to the waitress that I didn’t catch, and she disappeared. We were alone in a corner seat. In the darkened room, with only candlelight, his lips and face became my focal point.

  He didn’t say anything, but in a few minutes the waitstaff returned with a cake. They clapped and sang to me.

  The cake had candles, and the words “Happy Birthday” were written across the frosting. Another waitress filled our glasses with wine without asking for ID. As the staff left, I closed my eyes.

  In my mind, I had a wish. I wanted to be Jesse’s, and I wanted him to be only mine. I opened my eyes and met his blue-eyed gaze as he said, “Happy birthday. Make a wish.”

  “You seriously got me candles?” I said, wiping my eyes.

  “Are you crying?” He brushed my tears away then kissed his fingers like that was sacred to him.

  “Yeah. It’s been a long time,” I said. I took a deep breath and blew out my candles.

  He sipped his wine and relaxed in his chair like we were supposed to have all this. As I picked up a knife to cut the cake, he said, “Em, when the wedding is over, come away with me.”

  I half thought I was dreaming. As I slid a piece of vanilla cake with chocolate frosting in front of him, I asked, “Where would we go?”

  He brushed against my thigh. “Anywhere you want, just you and me.”

  I handed him a fork and ignored the pounding of my heart. How could this even be real? “Let me think about it. Right now, my head is still in the clouds.”

  I bit into the sweet cake and the sugar rushed to my brain. I’d almost forgotten this taste.

  “Mine is too, to be honest,” Jesse said, “And that’s fucking weird for me.”

  I finished my bite and wiped my mouth. Then I met his gaze and said, “Really?”

  He put his fork down and folded his hands in front of him as he said, “I … You’re the first person who doesn’t expect me to be a reckless bad boy who does whatever I want.”

  Part of me believed he was trouble. A sweet trouble I hadn’t planned on having in my life, ever. But I just asked, “Is that who you are?”

  He stared at me like he saw into my soul. “It’s who I’m expected to be.”

  I playfully elbowed his ribs and said, “Well, I hope you don’t turn into some jerk once the clock strikes midnight.”

  He reached out for my hand and kissed my knuckles. “I hope you don’t disappear on me.”

  For a moment, I stared at him, and my entire body melted. He was the first person to ever make me feel all sparkly and excited and I wasn’t sure what I’d do next.

  Soon, we’d see each other in a whole different environment, and our new normal might just include each other.

  He left money on the table and held out his hand to me as he said, “We should get back to the party.”

  I gulped the rest of my sweet wine that somehow didn’t make me buzz. Everything was perfect. Then, I jumped up and took his hand. We didn’t run around the building this time but headed to the ballroom doors. As he opened them for me, we only saw staff, cleaning up.

  My heart raced. The party was over, and I had surely been missed. But he shrugged like it didn’t matter. “Guess it’s already finished.”

  I felt a rush of adrenaline. “We missed it?”

  He glanced at me up and down and my body vibrated with awareness. His lips alone made my knees weak.

  “Want to go to the hot tub?”

  “I can’t,” I said, though my pulse spiked. I’d love to find out what being in a hot tub was like. But I blinked and said, “My brother will be looking for me. After the wedding? I’ll try to get a bathing suit by then.”

  He placed my hand on his chest and under my palm I sensed the thump of his heart. It made my hairs stand on end.

  “Okay,” he said. “I don’t want this night to end.”

  Me, either. Since the moment I’d stepped into the rehearsal dinner, my life had changed. I was breathless when I said, “We’ll have tomorrow.”

  He inched closer to me and my skin prickled. My heart zoomed as he said, “Tomorrow morning, meet me for breakfast so we can have some fun before the wedding.”

  I wrapped my arms around him and quickly said, “I’ll do anything with you.”

  He buried his fingers in my hair and held me to him. “You make me want to be a different person, Em.”

  I held him tight. He somehow saw through me and it was like our souls recognized each other. I said, “I honestly don’t know who I am anymore.”

  He stepped back and kissed my hand. “That makes two of us, then. But think about what I said earlier, about going away together. I have enough money for a trip to China, Paris or Disneyworld, if that’s your dream.”

  “Disneyworld?” I laughed. I’d not expected that out of his lips. “Is that what you think I want?”

  He traced my side with his fingers. “A little.”

  “It’s hard to believe you suggested it.” I blinked up at him.

  He lowered his head like he’d kiss me again. My lips puckered to meet his, but he said, “You are my fairy tale princess, so who knows … Maybe you want to return to the only place I know that produces girls like you.”

  “I’m not from
there,” I managed to say, but then his lips met mine.

  Chapter 9

  Jesse

  Eggplant, peaches, water … miss you.

  Emojis shouldn’t wake me up. I blinked. There was still a haze over my eyes as I glanced at the sender. Helen. I’d already told her we were done. I put my phone back and rubbed my eyes.

  Soon, I’d see Em again. She’d not send pictures to me. I grabbed my phone to make some fast plans. Em was old-fashioned, so a picnic, a bicycle ride—she’d said that was her hobby—and someplace isolated to talk was exactly what we both needed.

  Luckily, the front desk had everything I wanted. I glanced at the clock then quickly showered.

  The water hitting my skin made memories of Em rush into my brain.

  The first time I’d seen her on the street, she’d taken my breath away. Her brown hair had shimmered in the sun on the street. That was why I’d spoken to her. Since it was morning, she’d be without makeup again and I’d find out if she was still as beautiful as I remembered.

  As I tugged on my raw indigo jeans and navy-blue Burberry core tee, my phone beeped again.

  Walt texted with details of a party in Beverly Hills tonight. I swiped to clear my screen. Nothing about my life before meeting Em had been worthwhile. I put the phone on silent and headed out.

  The lobby was bright and quiet. I saw the limo driver pull up to the front of the hotel and I checked that everything was in position for today with the front desk.

  Then, my skin grew goosebumps. I turned around, and there on the staircase was Em.

  She was in simple jeans and a bright red t-shirt she’d tucked in. Her hair was down, and she wore no jewels. Yet, she still made my pulse zip and I ached to touch her. I crossed the room, fueled by adrenaline. Her face lit up as she saw me and I said, “Em, there you are.”

  Her lips curved in a smile. Last night she’d been a vision, with her hair pinned up and tied with a ribbon to show off her neck. My lips had ached to caress it. She seemed softer today. I brushed against her arm because I needed to touch her.

  “What do you want to do?” She asked.

  I took her hand and motioned toward the door with my head. “Come. Our limo is waiting.”

  She squeezed my hand, and she had a bounce in her step as we walked down the stairs. “I’ll be missed if we’re gone too long.”

  The driver opened the door for us.

  I pressed my hand on her back. “We’ll be back in a few hours. I scheduled a picnic where we can be alone.”

  She stroked my abs like she’d hug me, like she wanted more from me. Yet, I knew she was innocent. She proved it when she practically skipped to the limo and popped her head inside.

  “You have a basket?”

  If I pushed too far, too fast, I’d scare her. So I’d hold off asking to sample more than she offered.

  We got into the car and the driver closed our doors. I slid closer to her and she straightened. I patted her knee. “You strike me as old-fashioned, and honestly, I’ve never gone on a picnic.”

  Her brown eyes widened like she was shocked. “You haven’t?”

  “No.” Our fingers curled together, and my body settled into waiting mode. “You’ll have to show me how it’s done.”

  She laughed and the air was lighter.

  Five minutes later, the limo stopped beside a set of black bicycles at the base of a hill.

  Exactly as I’d ordered. We slid out of the car, and her easy grace made my body hard; I’d work it off with exercise. I carried the small picnic basket in front of me and motioned toward the bikes. She picked one and said, “Jesse, this is amazing.”

  I kissed her cheek, tempting myself, but then I settled the basket in the carrier on my bike and pointed to our path. “Let’s see if you say that once we bike to the top of the hill where our breakfast is.”

  “We’ll race,” she said, fastening her helmet on her head and kicking her stand up. She added, “I do this every day.”

  “It’s a race.”

  I put my helmet on and we set out, but I stayed behind her. She lifted her buttocks off the small seat as she pedaled faster.

  Fuck, she was perfect. I wondered what she’d look like naked and on top of me. I blinked to focus on the now, but the question returned to my mind every time she went up and down and shifted the weight of her body.

  At the top, she took off her helmet, breathing faster. “I win.”

  Watching her go up and down had been my reward. I kept the bicycle in front of me when I disembarked and moved slowly to ensure she didn’t see how excited she’d made me. I said, “That’s fine.”

  I kept the basket in front of me, so she wouldn’t see how she’d affected me, and pointed to where we were headed. But she put her hand on her hip and asked, “Were you staring at my back?”

  I couldn’t lie to her. So I raised my eyebrow and dared her. “Your ass is gorgeous, Em.”

  Her face turned bright red in a fast blush, and she glanced away from me. “Don’t be bad, Jesse.”

  I swallowed. Probably no one ever swore in front of her. For some reason, she was pure and sweet. I’d never met a girl as genuine as she was. As we neared a red blanket spread out on the ground, she asked, “Is this for us?”

  “Yes.” I put my small basket beside the bigger one that was there and glanced around. We were still on the estate’s property. My chest was full as we sat down together on the blanket.

  “If you look across the field, you can see our hotel and how they’re setting up for the wedding.”

  She stretched her legs and said, “Yet, we’re alone here.”

  I opened the basket and found the champagne. I took out the glasses and said, “Yes. Orange juice or mimosa?”

  She stared at me with wide eyes and asked, “What’s a mimosa?”

  I seriously wasn’t worthy of her. Beverly Hills was filled with pretentious girls who aimed to be like my own mother. I didn’t know how to act with someone like Em. I stifled the "ha-ha" that almost came out of my mouth and said, “Orange juice mixed with champagne.”

  Her nose wrinkled and she massaged her temples as she said, “Just orange juice. I never drank anything with alcohol until yesterday and I don’t want to turn into an alcoholic.”

  “You won’t.” This time I couldn’t hold back my small laugh, but I poured the orange juice, as requested. Then, my gaze narrowed. “Your head is feeling off?”

  She accepted the juice then dug into the small basket I’d carried that had bakery options. She selected a croissant. “Not now. It was when I opened my eyes.”

  I held up the coffee and she nodded and found the cups for us. I said, “Good. A roaring hangover isn’t fun.”

  She took the carafe from me and poured our coffees. She knew exactly when to twist her wrist to not drop a bit.

  “I haven’t eaten food like this in years.”

  Every time she talked about her life, it was like the numbers in a math column didn’t add up. We watched the birds and the distant movement of the staff setting up for the wedding under a tent. I broke the silence and said, “I did some research on your brother last night.”

  She leaned back and put her coffee down as she asked, “Yeah?”

  I scooted closer and our hips brushed as I stretched out beside her. “He’s an impressive, rising star in the WWE. Are you looking forward to reconnecting?”

  She sipped her coffee again, then met my gaze. “I am, though the next seven weeks are going to be strange.”

  I blinked and asked, “Why?”

  Her fingers trembled and she put the coffee down like she wished I hadn’t noticed. She said, “I know Lana and I never got along, and I’m not wishing I was back on my mattress in the basement or anything, but now, when I think of Monday, I just can’t picture what it’ll be like. I’ve never seen my brother wrestle, or even where he lives. I don’t know how I’ll fit in, or what I’ll do.”

  “I didn’t mean to worry you.” My heart caved in a little, like I’d f
ailed her. Her life up until now sounded horrible. I whispered, “I meant it when I said we can go away together and do anything you want.”

  She elbowed me and her face lightened. But she laughed a little, like she didn’t believe me. “You’d go on a road trip around the country with me?”

  My high school friends were traveling the globe this summer, pretending they weren’t rich. I shrugged and asked, “Is that what you want?”

  She sipped her coffee then refilled both our cups. “It’s a nice fantasy. I always liked US history in school.”

  I shrugged. “I hated school.”

  She pushed her pretty hair behind her ears and stared at me with her wide eyes like she didn’t believe me. “That’s hard to imagine. You’re so interesting.”

  “I was bored, to be honest. And everyone around me was fake. My tutors had already taught me pretty much everything teachers had to say by the time I was nine and I grew tired of correcting teachers.”

  “That’s the price of genius, I guess. Learning new things was an escape for me.” She curled into me and asked, “Why didn’t you graduate early?”

  Escape. If only it was that easy. Even with all my money, I still sought acceptance from my parents. I ignored the pangs in my chest and said, “Football, baseball. Basically, I was supposed to let my father relive his youth by winning every game and being the biggest jerk you can imagine.”

  She bumped into me. “I can’t imagine you were a jerk.”

  I turned and sat cross-legged, facing her, so she’d understand every word. I hated to shatter her opinion of me, but I had to tell her the truth. I took her hands in mine and said, “To be honest, I was worse. A total asshole without a fucking care in the world. I said ‘jerk’ because you seem like the kind of girl that would be offended by rude language.”

  “You swore last night and I never complained.” She sat across from me and leaned closer, so I no longer smelled the grape vines or the grass, just her lavender scent. “I’m not that easily offended, Jesse, but I do think we should forgive others so we can live our best life.”