Then and now (Edge Of Retaliation, #3)

by Jewel, Bella

  “Not as yet. Still trackin’ him down. They got my brother. Cut his fuckin’ thumb off and sent it to Callie. Which is why we’re here, he’s goin’ to go after Jo, or Callie, or both and he’s goin’ to attempt to bring us all down.”

  Alarick nods, and pulls out his phone. “I’ll make some calls. Find out if he’s been talkin’ to anyone.”

  Jesus Christ. Just like that, he’s brought the fucking motorcycle club into it. Like we need any more drama.

  “You don’t have to help us,” I say, my voice squeaky. “We’re fine handling it on our own. It’s not your problem. Tatum shouldn’t have told you.”

  Alarick stops dialing and looks to me. “You’re not my problem, correct, but this town is my fuckin’ problem. Nothin’ goes past me, especially when it comes to that.”

  Oh boy.

  I nod, because I’m not about to argue with him. He’s ... passionate about this I can see.

  “Appreciate it,” Tatum says. “If this is goin’ to take a while, I’ll go, you good keepin’ an eye on her?”

  Alarick nods, standing up and extending his hand. “Alarick, you can call me Flick.”

  Tatum takes his hand, shaking it. “Tatum.”

  “Will keep an eye on her here, Tatum, and I’ll get back to you with word.”

  Tatum nods, and then looks to me with a smug expression. That fucking jerk. Coming in here and just taking over my life like he owns the damn thing. I grit my teeth and try not to hit him when he says, “Happy inking, sweetheart.”

  Then he’s gone.

  The fucking douchebag.

  16

  CALLIE

  I fumble around with my key in the parking garage at work, trying to find it in my purse. If I didn’t have the entire contents of my damned house in this purse, I’d probably have better luck finding my key. I curl my fingers around something and pull it out, is that a fucking balloon? How in the ever-loving hell did a balloon get in my purse?

  My lord.

  I make a mental note to clean my purse out when I get home tonight—it’ll give me something to do to avoid looking at Tanner for the evening. I was glad to get a double shift today; it kept me out of his way and allowed me some time to breathe. It has been tense, to say the least, and we’re only one night in.

  I finally find my keys and go to put them in my door when something cold presses against the back of my neck, making my entire body freeze. I take a deep, staggering breath and everything in my mind starts spinning. Especially when a voice leans down low and whispers into my ear, “You’re coming with me.”

  Oh god.

  No.

  This is bad.

  I spin around quickly, without thought, and the gun slams across the side of my face, sending me tumbling to the ground. Gasping in pain and trying to stop my head from spinning, I scramble backward, desperate to escape.

  “I’ll shoot you if you make another move. Now get up,” the man wearing a dark hoodie says, gun pointed at me.

  He’s part of that gang, I just know he is.

  My cheekbone feels like it’s been split in two, and I can feel blood trickling down my face, he hit me that hard. I keep scrambling backward and consider screaming. It might throw him off. If he gets hold of me, I’m not coming back. I know that for sure.

  With an angry growl, he launches forward, curling his hand into my hair and hauling me up like I weigh nothing. I let out a shrill scream as the gun is pressed to my temple this time. “Scream again, I’ll blow your brains all over this fuckin’ floor and be done with it.”

  Tears burn under my eyelids and I try to kick my way free, which only earns me another hard whack to the face.

  “Is someone down here? It’s security, I heard a scream?”

  Oh, thank the ever-loving lord. The man holding me lets me go quickly, muttering a curse before taking off, leaving me standing on shaky legs.

  “Hello?” the voice calls out again.

  “Over here,” I croak.

  A security guard rounds the cars and sees me standing, bleeding, and his face drops. He rushes over, asking, “Miss, are you okay?”

  “I’m ... There was a man in here. He had a gun,” I whisper, without thought.

  “I’ll call the police. Are you injured any further? Did he take anything?”

  “I think he just wanted my purse,” I lie.

  “Sit tight, I’ll get someone over right away.”

  I close my eyes and lean against my car, feeling more than a little shaken up over how damned close that was. If that security guard hadn’t come down, I’d likely be either shot or in the back of that man’s truck by now, going god knows where.

  I didn’t think we needed Tanner here, but I’m starting to see that they made the right call.

  We’re in danger.

  They’re not going to stop until they get what they want, and what they want is us and revenge.

  The officer walks away to make a call, and I do something so incredibly stupid. I get into my car and drive out. I don’t know what I’m thinking, except that I don’t want the police involved. If they get involved, and these men find out, I could potentially make everything that much worse, and I’ve already done enough of that for one day.

  I don’t look back as I exit the parking lot, my head pounding, my cheek bleeding, my hands trembling.

  It takes the entire drive home for me to calm down. In that time, I figure the security cameras probably have my plates and will likely call and ask why I drove away, but I’ll just say I was really scared and shaken up. I hope that doesn’t happen, but I wasn’t thinking clearly.

  When I reach my apartment, I hurry inside, just needing to breathe in a place where I feel safe. I close and lock the door, snapping the new deadbolt closed that Jo had installed, then I hurry into the kitchen, completely forgetting that Tanner and Madeline are staying in my apartment. Tears are burning under my eyelids when I reach the kitchen and turn on the tap, using the water to wash my face, the tears finally falling and flowing down the sink with my blood.

  “Callie?”

  Tanner’s voice has me jerking, but I don’t look up.

  “What the fuck happened?”

  I still don’t look up. He doesn’t deserve to see me crying, to see me hurting and weak.

  No.

  “Are you bleeding?”

  He’s moving quickly now, coming around to my side of the counter and grabbing my shoulders, jerking me upright so he can look at me. My cheek is sore, and my wound is burning, probably from the tears mixing in, the saltiness adding a sting.

  “I’m fine,” I say, shuffling out of his grips.

  “Who did this?”

  “I said I’m fine.”

  “Callie, who the fuck did this?”

  “Leave me alone!” I scream, stepping backward, my hands trembling, tears rolling down my cheeks. “Just leave me the hell alone, Tanner.”

  I turn and rush toward my room, feeling like a complete idiot. Knowing I’m acting like a damned baby right about now, but my emotions are all over the place, and I’m struggling to get my mind right. I can’t think straight, I can’t focus, I just ... can’t.

  Why is this happening?

  Just when everything was going well.

  For the first time in my life.

  Of course I should know better than to trust that things are good.

  Fate hates me.

  That much is abundantly clear.

  When will it end?

  A KNOCK AT MY DOOR has my head lifting just as it cracks open and Tanner steps inside with a something in his hand wrapped in a washcloth. “Peas,” he says, holding it up. “You need to get that swelling down.’

  I don’t say anything, I just stare down at my hands from my spot on the bed, legs folded, face aching, hair wet from the shower I took to try and clean up so I didn’t have to go back out there and face them. Him.

  Always him.

  Tanner walks over and sits on the end of the bed, so close to me I have to clamp m
y lips together to stop the little gasp escaping. My heart kicks up a notch, and my whole body becomes immediately aware of him. It’s always this way when Tanner is in the same room as me. It’s like my body craves him, even when I’m angry.

  He reaches over slowly, moving a strand of damp hair from my face and tucking it behind my ear, then he reaches over and places the ice bag against my cheek. I flinch, because it hurts like hell. It really does. My head is pounding from being hit with that gun, thrown on the ground and dragged back up by my hair.

  “Got some good painkillers, you need them?”

  I nod, still staring at my hands.

  “What happened, Callie? Gotta know.”

  Of course that’s the only reason he’s in here.

  Of course it is.

  “I was getting into my car,” I say softly, “and someone came up behind me, holding a gun to me ...”

  My voice trembles, and I pause for a minute, wringing my fingers together and searching for calm.

  “He said I had to go with him. I tried to get away ... and he hit me, pulled my hair ... then a security guard came. If it wasn’t for him hearing me scream, that man would have taken me. He ran off and the security guard was going to call the police but ...”

  I finally look up to Tanner, and he’s staring at me, listening intently. My heart races just connecting with those incredible brown eyes.

  “I ran,” I finish, looking away. “I wasn’t thinking, I just wanted to get out of there. I was so scared if the police were called, it would make them even angrier. I know I screwed up, but I ... I don’t know, my mind wasn’t working.”

  “It’s okay, nothin’ you can do about it now. Did he say anything else?”

  I shake my head.

  He goes silent for a moment, and then he reaches down for my wrist, making me flinch. He lifts it slowly and turns it over, revealing my new tattoo. He stares at it for a moment then slowly runs his thumb over Celia’s name.

  “It’s her birthday tomorrow,” he murmurs, his voice husky with emotion.

  “It is?” I whisper.

  “Yeah. It is. Hard to celebrate when nobody understands how fuckin’ hard it is. Madeline doesn’t get it, which isn’t her fault, but sometimes you need someone to get it.”

  “I get it,” I say, my voice soft.

  “Yeah,” he says, standing. “Yeah I know. It’s a damn shame, isn’t it?”

  With that, he turns and walks out.

  Dammit.

  One step forward, three steps backward.

  There is no middle ground with Tanner and me. There is so much water under the bridge it’s hard to let things go. I wish I could say everything I’m feeling to him, but I just don’t know how. He’s so angry at me, so hurt and so disappointed. I no longer know how to communicate without making things worse.

  But with Celia’s birthday being tomorrow, I know he needs someone to understand. Even if it’s just for a minute.

  Maybe I’ll do something for him, something that means a lot. Like get Jo to give him a tattoo from me. Something to represent the sister he lost, the sister he still hurts so heavily over. She is always going to be on this cloud right above Tanner's and my heads, always floating there, never totally going away. Occasionally, she will rain on us. Occasionally, she brings the sun. Most of the time, she brings a storm.

  A storm that forever has us crashing together and then ripped apart again.

  I’m in love with Tanner Yates, there is no point denying it anymore. I can’t. I try to, but the truth is, every single time I’m with him, all I can think about is how much I want him, even after all this time. I’m angry, and I’m hurt, but that doesn’t cover the ache of love in my heart that I so desperately want to bring forward.

  He hates me.

  He has every right to hate me.

  But it hurts, it really does.

  I exhale and pick up the cold pack of ice, bringing it to my cheek and closing my eyes.

  I think about Celia, as I do often. I wonder what she liked to do for her birthdays. Did she have a special place? Did their family do something nice? Did she like sweets or a cake? Decorations? Music? Or did she just prefer to be with her family over a nice dinner? These are all things I should have been asking Tanner all those years ago, instead of chasing Chase across the country.

  I should have been focusing on her and the joy she brought to his life. Instead of focusing on the pain that surrounded us all when she left.

  I look back now, and it all seems so incredibly obvious, yet at the time, it was all I could see. My freedom. What I wanted. What I needed. The things that would make me feel better. Never once did I stop and think of the things that would make him feel better. Maybe that’s what Madeline does, maybe that’s why he said she’s a better woman than me.

  She heals parts of him that I kept ripping open.

  I shouldn’t have left without an explanation. Now, looking back, I realize it was possibly the most selfish thing I’ve ever done, but at the time I didn’t see clearly like I do now. I lost the best thing to ever happen to me out of fear. I was scared that Celia would forever hang over our heads, and instead of embracing her and her part in his life, I threw it away.

  I’m going to fix it, even if it’s just to finish things the right way.

  It won’t be easy.

  He’s with someone else now.

  But it is the right thing to do.

  I owe him that much.

  17

  JOANNE

  “Of course,” I tell Callie, organizing my ink for the day in little bottles, preparing my gun for my first official customer.

  Alarick was pleased with my results on the piece he gave me, and he told me I can officially work full time under him. I was so excited I wanted to hug him, but of course I didn’t because, man, that would have been awkward. Still, it’s everything I ever wanted. Well, not what I always wanted, hell I never even thought my drawing skills would get me anywhere, let alone here, but life has a way of taking you somewhere you never expected.

  “Thank you so much, that’s amazing. You won’t get into trouble?”

  I shake my head. “No, you’re paying, it doesn’t matter who you’re paying for. I have space this afternoon, if you have something in mind you’d like for him.”

  Callie frowns, and her face is super swollen today. When I found out what happened to her, I freaked out. She assured me she was fine, but dammit, they’re getting too close. The men decided they’d stay with us even during work now. Though, Alarick agreed when I’m here, he’ll have someone with me at all times. So it’s mostly when we’re at home, or out and about. Tanner is going to drop Callie off to work and pick her up, walking her in and out. She’s safe while she’s in there.

  Things are getting ... heated, so to speak.

  “I don’t really know what to get him, that’s the thing. Obviously, I want something to do with Celia, because it’s her birthday today, I just don’t know what.”

  “Leave it with me, I’ll come up with something amazing before you bring him in.”

  She’s paying for Tanner to get a tattoo of Celia, to mark her birthday, but also so he can have something on him at all times that memorializes his sister. It’s a great idea, I only hope it’ll go down well and he’ll see that she has good intentions. The tension between the two of them is probably stronger than the tension between Tatum and myself, and that’s saying something.

  “Thank you so much for this. There’s something else I want to do for him, though I don’t know if he’s going to be okay with it. Still, he can’t hate me any more than he already does, right?”

  I smile at her, feeling bad because I know it’s killing her. I know seeing him with Madeline kills her. I know it all bothers her, but she’s keeping a straight face about it all, hiding it well. I’m her best friend, though; I have seen the worst of her so I know when she’s hanging onto pain and trying to cover it up.

  “You’re doing the right thing, not reacting to all of this,”
I tell her, lining my chair with plastic for sanitary reasons. “I know it’s hurting you.”

  “Yeah,” she exhales, “it’s not easy. Seeing him with Madeline. Last night, after he helped me out, I had to go out and sit with them to eat dinner. His hand kept rubbing up and down her leg and ...”

  Her voice trails off and her face pinches. I stop what I’m doing and give her a look that tells her I understand, I really do. I couldn’t imagine anything worse. That feeling would be all-consuming, and I know she’s dealt with enough in her life. She deserves happiness, but it seems wherever she goes, she can’t seem to find it.

  “It’ll be over soon,” I say gently.

  “What if he’s making love to her in that bed? Some nights I lay there, when the house is silent, and I think about it. I listen, to see if I can hear it, and then I feel so stupid for letting myself be so pathetic. It’s just so hard. Knowing they’re in there together. It hurts.”

  “You’re more than welcome to come and get into my bed anytime,” I tell her. “If it becomes too much. I mean, you have to put up with Tatum and Ethan, but that’s not as bad as Tanner and Madeline.”

  Callie exhales. “Yeah, Ethan. I want to talk to him but every time we’re in the same room, he just leaves or avoids me. He’s hurt, probably the most, considering everything we’ve been through. I don’t know how to talk to him, or how to get him to listen.”

  “Tie him up, I think that’s your best option,” I say, and I hear her chuckle.

  “It’s not a bad idea.”

  “Seriously, though, just demand to talk to him. He’ll hear you out. Remind him that he fucked up once, and you heard him out. He owes you the same.”

  She grins. “You’re brutal, but I love it.”

  I shrug. “I’m tired of not saying it how it is. It’s time we all got it out in the open, even if it’s the last time we’re all together.”

  The idea of that hurts, I won’t lie. It cuts me, right to my core. Even though there is so much tension around, being around all of them again, having us all together, it feels good. So fucking good. I’ve missed it more than I realized. The idea of them leaving once this is done and us never seeing them again really bothers me.