Then and now (Edge Of Retaliation, #3)

by Jewel, Bella

  “You made a mistake, I tried to seek revenge for that mistake, I found out it wasn’t your fault, and I recovered. The last three years, I’ve realized a lot. It’s different now. I’ve healed a great deal more. I’m not goin’ to promise that there won’t be time we use it, but I think we’re strong enough to leave the past in the past. I want to move forward with you, know that much ...”

  I squeeze him tighter. “Then I think we go all in.”

  “Yeah, babe,” he murmurs. “All in.”

  Finally.

  “HOW ARE YOU ALL?” THE doctor asks, walking into the waiting room the next day.

  We were all called in, well, I was, and I called everyone else. They said there was an update on Ethan, since those words came out of the doctor's mouth, I’ve hardly been able to breathe. Every single moment has just felt like it has been in slow motion.

  “We’re okay,” I say, “What’s the update, doc?”

  I meet his eyes and hold my breath, waiting for his answer. Praying, with everything inside of me, that he does not tell us Ethan has passed away.

  I can’t take that.

  I can’t.

  “He’s awake,” the doctor says, and I make a pained sound of relief. “It’s nothing short of a miracle, considering how much internal bleeding he had, and how much blood he lost. He’s still in critical condition and will remain in the ICU for at least another few weeks, but he’s awake.”

  “Oh, thank god,” I cry, clutching my chest. “Thank you, god. Can I see him?”

  The doctor nods, “Only one at a time, and right now, we’d prefer if just one of you went in until he’s doing better. Too much can cause strain, and we don’t want to risk anything right now. Not to mention infection.”

  “Callie will go,” Tanner says, “She’s the one he’ll want to see.”

  The doctor nods, and says, “Right this way.”

  I look back at the others, and Jo has tears streaming down her face. I give her a smile, and then follow the doctor down the halls. We get onto the elevator and go to the ICU ward, where I’m made to wash my hands, put on a gown and wear a mask. They don’t want to risk any sort of infection being passed onto Ethan while his system is so down.

  When we reach his room, the doctor opens the door and we step inside. The first thing I notice is that there are so many machines. He’s hooked up to everything but a breathing tube. There are tubes coming out of his nose, his arms, and one even goes under his gown. There are machines beeping everywhere, and the whole scene is just ... upsetting. Ethan’s eyes are open, and they move to me when I walk in. He’s pale, really really pale, and he looks like he hasn’t slept for six months, but I see relief in his face.

  The doctor tells me I’ve got ten minutes and leaves.

  I walk over, carefully picking up Ethan’s hand and looking down at him. “You have no idea how scared I was, Ethan. No idea.”

  His lips twitch, and he croaks, “You and me both.”

  “Are you feeling okay? They said you’re still critical?”

  “I feel horrible, every single part of me hurts, even lifting my arm takes energy I never thought I’d have to conjure up.”

  “I’m so sorry,” I whisper, squeezing his hand. “You never should have gotten hurt because of my actions.”

  “It’s not your fault, Callie,” he says, his voice hoarse, “I wanted to be a part of all of this, it was my choice, and nobody forced me to do it.”

  “You’re strong, so damn strong. I honestly thought I’d lost you.”

  He squeezes my hand lightly. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

  I laugh and tears roll down my cheeks, disappearing under my mask.

  “Stop that crying, anyone will think you’ve gone soft.”

  I smile and he squeezes my hand again.

  “I’ve called Raven,” I tell him, “She’s getting a flight in the next hour, so she’ll be here soon.”

  “Thank you,” he murmurs.

  “I’m going to let you rest now, because you look exhausted.”

  “I feel it,” he says, closing his eyes, like the very effort of keeping them open hurts.

  I stroke his cheek and say quietly, “I love you, Ethan.”

  He smiles, even with his eyes closed. “Love you too, Callie.”

  My heart feels whole again.

  I walk out of the room and back out to where everyone is waiting, Jo rushes over first, her eyes puffy and red, “Is he okay?”

  I nod. “Yeah, he’s better than I thought. Talking was exhausting for him, but he’s strong, and he’s going to make it through, I can feel it.”

  “Oh, thank god,” she says, hugging me close. “I was so scared.”

  “Me too,” I say, letting her go. “Where are Tanner and Tatum?”

  She frowns. “They’ve gone to talk with Alarick. They’re going in tonight.”

  Tonight?

  No. I just got one person back, the idea of possibly losing someone after everything that has happened, is too much to bear.

  “Tonight?” I whisper.

  Jo nods. “I’ve tried to talk Tatum out of it, but he’s going. There is nothing we can do about it.”

  “I didn’t even try to convince Tanner not to go for the simple fact that I know it will be pointless, he’s going to want to finish this, because it was him that needed to bring these men down for Celia.”

  Jo nods. “Still, it’s scary. I already feel sick.”

  I take her hand. “We’ll get through this. They’re with the best of the best. They’ll end it, and they’ll come home to us.”

  “What if they don’t, Callie? I don’t think I can handle it.”

  I look into her eyes and say, “They’ll come home, Jo.”

  I hope I’m right.

  God. I hope I’m right.

  23

  JOANNE

  My heart is tight as I watch him pull on his jeans, drag a shirt over his head, and pull a jacket on. He stuffs a gun into his pants, shoves his feet into his boots, and then turns and looks at me. I take him in, really take him in. The way his damp hair falls over his forehead, the way his eyes seem so light set amongst his olive skin.

  I can’t bear the thought of something happening to him.

  Yet I know I can’t stop him from going and the idea of him leaving while we’re fighting is too much to bear.

  So I walk over and slide my arms under his, pulling him in for a hug and pressing my cheek to his chest. I can smell leather, and the soft scent of soap from his shower. I inhale deeply, and close my eyes, needing to feel him for just a second longer.

  His arms go around me, and his chin rests on the top of my head. He hangs onto me for what feels like ages, but is likely only minutes, short minutes, that will never seem long enough.

  “It’ll be okay, babe,” he says, his voice thick and rough, like he’s trying to fight back the same fears I am.

  “I’m scared, Tatum. I just got you back and now ...”

  “I’ll come back,” he says to me, stepping back so I’m forced to look up at him. “Do you hear me? I’ll come back.”

  I nod, because there is no point in fighting it, even if part of me doesn’t believe it. Even if I’m terrified.

  “You stay here, keep the doors locked, and sit tight. Don’t want anythin' comin' back on you two girls. Ethan was plannin’ on stayin' with you two, if we ever had to do this, but now he can’t so you’re on your own. You know how to load and shoot a gun?”

  I narrow my eyes, “Of course, but why would I need to?”

  “Just in case, Jo. These men are unpredictable. You have anyone come that isn’t meant to be here and they try anything, you shoot and ask questions later, do you understand me?”

  I nod. “Okay, yes.”

  “Promise me.”

  “I promise, Tatum.”

  He nods, leaning down and pressing his lips to mine. “I love you, Joanne. Now isn’t the right time to say it, but I can’t leave without you knowin’ that.”
r />   My heart explodes and I smile a happy smile. “You do?”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  “I love you, too,” I whisper, hugging him again.

  He hangs onto me tightly, so tightly I can barely breathe, then pulls back and says, “Alright, that’s enough of that. I have to go.”

  I watch him go, and I say a prayer.

  Please, please don’t let anything happen to him.

  Please.

  “SO YOU TWO ARE A THING?” I ask Callie, trying to keep my mind off the fact that the boys have been gone for two hours, and no amount of vodka, pizza, and movies seems to be taking our mind off it.

  Callie is holding strong, but I can see in her face she’s scared, of course she is. She feels exactly like I do right now, and we both know we’re suffering, but we’re trying to make the best of a terrible situation by distracting ourselves.

  “Yeah,” Callie says, “He left Madeline, and said he wanted to be with me. He wants to try.”

  “And you’re good with that?”

  Callie nods. “It hasn’t been easy, it really hasn’t but I love him and that’s got to be worth something. I don’t know if it’ll work, or if eventually our issues will be stronger than our love, but I have to try.”

  “I think you’ll both be okay,” I tell her. “I think you’ll both move past it and make a great future together.”

  Callie smiles, “I hope so. What about you and Tatum?”

  “He told me he loves me,” I say, grinning.

  “He did!” Callie squeals. “And you’ve waited until now to tell me this. Here I am trying to focus on this stupid movie when you had far better gossip the entire time.”

  I chuckle. “Well, I was saving it for the right time. You know, the right time to distract us.”

  She beams. “I’m so happy for you, Jo. I really am.”

  “The only problem is,” I tell her, my smile dropping, “figuring out where we’re going to live. I love it here, and working for Alarick is awesome, but I know Tatum has always lived back home and he might not want to leave.”

  She nods. “Yeah I’ve thought the same thing. Tanner’s entire family is back there, yet the idea of going back there makes me cringe. I don’t want to forever live in the place where the most pain in my life was created. The one thing I have been truly happy with since leaving, is being somewhere where nobody knows me and I’m free.”

  I nod, completely understanding that. “Do you think Tanner would consider moving?”

  She shrugs, pursing her lips, “I honestly don’t know. I think maybe he would, but I also know he loves his family and then they’ve got the garage and all the boys back home ...”

  “Yeah,” I murmur, “it’s going to be a damned hard choice.”

  “It really is.”

  Callie stands, “I have to pee, and I have a bottle of vodka stashed in my room, you know, back up.”

  I laugh. “Okay.”

  She disappears down the hall, and I flick the movie back on.

  I never considered when Tatum warned me earlier, that we were actually in danger. Not once did I think we’d have anything to worry about. After all, they are out there, fixing this problem once and for all, and we’re here, where it’s safe.

  At least, that’s the plan.

  It’s the plan until one minute I’m sitting, smiling at the movie, and the next the window in my living room smashes. I scream and launch backward as a man climbs through, a man I’m more than familiar with because I was locked in his basement for a few horrible fucking days.

  He’s holding a gun, and two other men climb in behind him, the sound of broken glass crunching as they bust through it like it’s nothing. I can’t move. I can’t even breathe. My hands go up instinctively, because what else am I meant to do?

  I pray Callie doesn’t come running out.

  She could get help.

  She could get out.

  She is our only chance.

  He steps in the glass, crunching it into my floor, and comes closer, gun pointed right to my head. “Hello, Joanne.”

  He is supposed to be where the men are, not here. He’s meant to be getting shot right about now, not in my house.

  No.

  God dammit.

  Where’s my gun?

  I left it in my apartment because I didn’t consider that I’d need it.

  What the hell is wrong with me?

  “Where’s Callie?”

  Get your shit together, Jo. Lie. Callie hasn’t come out yet, which tells me she probably knows they’re here and is hiding. God, I pray she’s hiding. If she’s not, it’s all over for us. I take a deep shaky breath, compose myself and say, “She’s not here.”

  He snorts. “I doubt that.”

  “They aren’t stupid, you know,” I go on, making up a lie as quickly as I can. “They suspected you might come after us, so they separated us. They’re not going to let you win.”

  For a moment, he looks shocked, then he narrows his eyes and clicks his fingers, “Go and check the rest of the apartment.”

  God dammit.

  Callie.

  Hide.

  24

  CALLIE

  I heard the glass smash, and then I heard Jo’s small scream. I went to run out, I did, but then I realized if I run out there, I’m going to end up exactly where they want me, and I won’t be able to get us out of here. Then I heard Jo tell them I wasn’t here, and I knew I had to hide. I only had seconds, not even.

  I move as quickly and as quietly as I can, my heart racing. My entire body is on high alert as I run into my walk-in closet. I climb, using a stool I always keep in there because I’m too short to reach the top. I get up onto the top shelf, and I scurry behind all my clothes and suitcases, praying, just praying they won’t see me in here.

  Minutes seem to tick by, and my heart races erratically as I think of all the things that could go wrong right now. They must have known the men were coming, it’s the only explanation that makes sense. They are here, because they know we’re alone. They are determined to take us out, no matter the cost.

  I hear the door to my bedroom open, and the sound of footsteps. The bathroom door creaks, my bed squeaks, and I know they’re looking for me.

  “Come out, Callie,” a voice calls. “We know you’re in here.”

  No.

  I hold my breath, willing my body to not even twitch.

  They open the closet and start throwing my clothes out of the way, shoving boxes aside and looking in. Then they reach up to the top. I press myself as far back as I can, and I pray. They move a few suitcases, throw down a few of my storage bags, but they don’t get up and look further. A moment goes by, and then the door shuts. I exhale, thanking whoever just gave me the luck I needed.

  After a few minutes, when I hear them talking in the living room again, I very carefully climb down. It takes me more than a few minutes, because I have to be so damned quiet. When my feet land on the soft carpet, I get to my knees, glancing behind me, and unlock my safe. I have a gun in there, I’m not stupid enough to live alone without one.

  I pull it out, flick the safety off, make sure it's loaded and then I walk slowly toward my bedroom door. I’m willing to kill if it means Jo comes out of this alive. They’re not going to take her; I’m not going to let them take her. I push my door open quietly and tip-toe slowly down the hall, where the voices become clearer.

  There is no way I can take out three of them, which has my mind reeling.

  I don’t know what to do.

  I just know I have to do something.

  “Go to her apartment, see if the girl is in there. She wouldn’t be far, report back to me.”

  And that, right there is my chance.

  If they go, I can deal with this motherfucker far easier. One thing at a time.

  I dare to peer around the corner and see Jo in the living area, her hands still up, the man has his back to me thank god. The other two are just walking out the front door, slamming it closed. Now is
my chance, only I’m terrified.

  I don’t know if I can do it.

  I don’t know if I have what it takes.

  Can I shoot a man?

  He takes a step to Jo and growls, “Where the fuck is she, Joanne?”

  “I told you, she’s not here,” Jo spits.

  “Well, if she is here, I’m sure I can find a way to lure her out. Don’t you think.”

  He raises his gun and slams it across her head. She goes down in slow motion, falling into the shards of glass. Everything in my world stops as I watch my best friend fall, her screams strangled in her throat. The pain so intense she can’t get any sound out.

  “That’s not good enough.” He laughs. “I need you to scream.”

  He presses his booted foot onto her face, smashing it down onto the glass. She screams, her sounds piercing the room.

  I can’t take it.

  I won’t let him hurt her.

  I won’t.

  Not my Jo.

  I raise the gun, take a deep breath, and pull the trigger.

  The bullet hits him right in the back of the head, he didn’t even see it coming. Blood splatters everywhere and he falls forward, landing over my best friend, making her screams even worse.

  I rush over, grabbing him and hauling him off with a strength I didn’t know I had. His body flops to the side, and I feel unwell at the sight of his head, which is no longer intact. Vomit rises to my throat as I grab for Jo, rolling her and pulling her into my arms, even as the shards of glass cut into my skin.

  I reach for the blanket on the sofa, and I press it to her bleeding face, cradling her against me as she sobs, her body shaking violently.

  “I’m here. I’m here. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

  The other two men will be back any second.

  I don’t know what to do.

  God, I don’t know what to do.

  Help me.

  EVERYTHING AFTER I’VE shot him feels like it goes in slow motion.

  Everything.