The Third Best Thing

by Hughes, Maya

  KEYTON: The game is in an hour. Coach is looking for you.

  The screen went dead.

  Reanimating like new life had been breathed into me, I threw my car into drive.

  With my fists white knuckled on the steering wheel, I flew down the roads, trying to remember my route here without my phone’s map to guide me.

  The lights from my headlights bounced off the patches of wetness in the road. I was speeding into I’m-definitely-getting-pulled-over-by-a-cop-if-they-catch-me territory.

  One second, my biggest worry was a ticket, and the next everything went sideways. The road and my tires were no longer on speaking terms. Black ice. I skidded on the patch and flew across all three lanes. Whipping the wheel around, I corrected for the slide and my car lurched to a stop less than a foot from the guardrail.

  I dropped my head to the steering wheel. Opening and closing my hands around it, I let out a breath and tried to get my heart rate under control.

  Shaking it off, I checked my mirrors and pulled out into the slow lane, but my car wasn’t moving like it should. I climbed out, and the other cars whipping by with their headlights on high showed me exactly what the problem was.

  My donut, the one I’d been riding on for months, the one I wasn’t even smart enough to get a replacement for with the money from my agent, had decided that this was the perfect time to add another cherry on top of my shit sundae of a day. Tattered pieces of shredded rubber sat where the tire had once been.

  Standing on the side of the road, I screamed into the frosty, freezing air. I slammed my hands into the roof of my car, denting the shit out of it. I kicked the side panels and raged against the piece of metal that hadn’t done a thing to deserve my ire. Here I was, sitting on the side of the road, all alone.

  * * *

  The parking lot was full but silent, every car empty, the tailgaters long gone inside.

  Inside, the crowd roared and my blood pounded in my veins, kicking down the door to my heart. The game had started forty-five minutes ago.

  And I was fucked.

  Racing past stadium security at the team entrance, I darted into the locker room and changed. One of the special teams’ coaches walked in as I laced up my shoes and shook his head. Not a word, but the look said ‘way to throw your future away, kid’.

  The biting cold was no better inside the stadium. The giant heat cannons on the sidelines provided momentary reprieve, but once I stepped out of their line of fire, it was back to icicles.

  Everyone on the sidelines stared at me as I walked toward Coach.

  “Don’t do this.” Keyton jumped up from the bench.

  The first half ended and the offensive line came off the field. Everyone headed back toward the tunnel and into the locker rooms for the half time motivational speech.

  Coach jogged straight past me, looking through me like I wasn’t even there. His clipboard in his hand and headset still on, he moved alongside the team.

  “Coach, I need to talk to you. I’m sorry I’m late.” I spun to catch up.

  “I don’t have time for you, Vaughn.” He kept his eyes straight ahead. “I only have time for people who care enough about this team to show up for their damn games.” He ground out those words and blew straight past.

  Standing outside the locker room, I banged my head against the cinderblock walls.

  “You thought not showing up was enough to save your ass.” Johanssen’s labored breathing to my right pushed away the pain and provided a laser focus for the building storm inside my head.

  “This has nothing to do with you. I wasn’t here and my team is still kicking your ass. They didn’t even need me.”

  “How’s it going to end up once they realize you’ve fucked them for the whole season?” He stood in the hallway. His bright red jersey like waving a flag in front of a bull.

  I charged at him, not taking a second to think, and met his face with a fist I’d held back for too long.

  Every nerve ending was firing like I was out on the field bracing for another hit. My skin tingled, sparking like a misfired firework ready to destroy anything in its way.

  For the angry kid standing on a doorstep to a house that would never be home.

  For the scared kid thrown from place to place always feeling unwanted.

  And for me, the guy who thought he might find that happiness that would never be there again.

  I rammed my shoulder into his stomach.

  His back slammed into the floor and his fist connected with the side of my head.

  My ears rang.

  Shouts echoed all around me as security charged toward us.

  “Stop them!” A screech broke through the security pile up we had going on.

  “Ezra, stop it!” a woman screamed.

  Johanssen’s eyes widened. His bloody lips parted and his head whipped around, searching over his shoulder as he let go of my jersey.

  Willa Goodwin stood on the outskirts of the madness with tears in her eyes. And in that moment, I was glad Jules wasn’t here. I’d rather face down anything other than her fear and disappointment—almost anything.

  Moments later, I sat in the Coach’s office, Johanssen’s blood still on my knuckles. The water from my uniform dripped into a puddle on the floor around me.

  The clock on coach’s desk ticked with each passing second.

  “Can we get this over with so I can go home?” Every cell in my body teetered on the edge of complete collapse and an explosion that would take out anyone around me. My legs bounced up and down. I tightened my grip on my knees. Hot and cold flashed through my body; I was on a spiraling roller coaster and there was no ride attendant to let me off.

  I squeezed my fists together in my lap and stared down at them. My fingers were still numb. My whole body was numb and my brain was foggy like I was underwater.

  “You’re about to go home for good. What in the hell happened out there? First, you show up late, taking a spot off the roster from someone who showed up on time, then you lose it out there with a fight that could’ve cost us the game on a technical.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “That’s the best you’ve got for me.” He slammed his hand down on the desk.

  He’d always been a fair coach—LJ situation aside. He wasn’t one to yell and scream and get in your face. He did the whole quiet disappointment when you screwed up and managed to chew you out without screaming at the top of his lungs, but right now I was beyond caring about anything.

  “Maybe Johanssen will want to tell me what your scuffle was about? That have anything to do with you being late?” His eyes bored into mine, drilling down deep to the center of my soul. Any other day I’d spill my guts to him, but not today.

  My nostrils flared. It was too much, and the only way to keep it together was to shut down.

  It was like I’d been kicked down to the bottom of a pit and all I could do was react. There was no thinking, no higher brain function. It had all been bashed out of my head by one text and a visit to a cemetery. The one thing I’d hoped for, for so long—that I’d finally get answers—was gone. She was gone. Forever.

  And I couldn’t say it out loud yet.

  At some point the words, ‘Get out,’ left Coach’s mouth, and I did. On autopilot, I went through the motions.

  The locker room was empty. Everyone had gone home. Even without me, they’d won. I didn’t want to face them. I didn’t want to see the accusation in their eyes that I’d screwed up and hurt the team. Or worse, that they’d figured out they could do it all without me from here on out.

  Jules stood waiting for me inside the tunnel. It seemed they’d kept the news of my fight quiet. She was all brightness and light, but even now my smile was brittle, forced. All I wanted to do was lay down beside her and hold her. I wanted to feel her arms wrapped around me and bury my head in her neck and wake up tomorrow when this nightmare was over.

  “What happened?” She covered my hands with hers and she brushed over the small cut on my eyebr
ow.

  I winced as she ran her finger over it.

  “I was in the stands right before kick-off and got a message from Keyton saying you weren’t here. Where were you? Did you play? I kept looking for your number, but I wasn’t sure if I’d missed you out there.”

  “I didn’t play. It’s been a long day, Frenchie.”

  “Were you hurt? Are you okay now?” She fussed, searching my face and my body like she’d be able to diagnose whatever was wrong with me, if she could just see it with her eyes. “Was it Alexis again?”

  Why was that where she immediately jumped? My defenses were up for my sister who was trying to do better. She was. It wasn’t a crazy party or random person’s house. She’d been at the library and her phone had died just after she called me. She knew it wouldn’t have lasted long enough to order a taxi, but she was also embarrassed about needing my help just to fill out the applications and didn’t want Jules to see her struggle. I got that. Deep down, I understood not wanting other people to see your cracks.

  “Can we go home now?”

  “Of course, where’s your car?”

  I tilted my head to the side. “Remember that part about it being a long day? My car broke down. My phone was dead. I was stranded.”

  She ordered a taxi, and for once something today went right and we only had to stand in the looming shadow of the stadium for a few minutes before it showed up. Rummaging in her purse, she pulled out a power charger and plugged my phone in.

  “You can keep that one. Think of it as a birthday present.”

  The muscles in my back tightened. My birthday. Today. After everything that had happened, I’d mercifully forgotten to look at the date. With that reminder, it all came rushing back, making me want to find a wide open place to scream until my voice was gone.

  She fidgeted beside me. “If it was something going on with Alexis, maybe I could help.”

  “Why does this keep coming back to Alexis? Can you drop it? It’s got nothing to do with her.”

  She snapped straight forward and stared out the front of the car.

  What was I doing? I dragged my hands down over my face. Her probing questions for what went down anytime I was in a bad mood kept drifting back to what had Alexis done. What had Alexis screwed up now? And that reminded me, like a sore spot you had forgotten about, but hit all over again. How many women had I dated who had a problem with Alexis? Who had tried to get between us and push her out of my life? There was no way for Jules to help what was wrong with me, and the mentions of Alexis in that tiptoe way of hers ratcheted up my walls.

  Jules turned to me and took my hand. “I don’t want you to think I’m blaming Alexis, but I don’t like seeing you upset. And sometimes you clam up when things go wrong, and I want to help.” She traced her fingers along my knuckles. “I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone.”

  “Thank you, Jules.” I rested my head against hers for the rest of the trip to the house.

  Alexis was the only thing close to family I had left. What would happen next year when I was gone? Would she be safe? Or would she pull one last stunt with the wrong guy that went too far and end up in a spot just like my mom? A clawing dread pounded in my stomach.

  At this point, was I even going to get a chance at the draft? Coach had dismissed me, telling me he’d figure out my punishment later.

  I opened the door to the house and someone flicked on the lights, blinding me. An attack? I stepped in front of Jules.

  “Surprise,” a chorus of voices shouted. A small painted banner hung in the doorway to the kitchen. ‘Happy Birthday, Berk.’

  Jules radiated a giddiness that pushed down the rising bile in my throat.

  Today was the day I’d lost my mother twice, threw away my football career, and now had to stand in front of fifty people and pretend my world wasn’t disintegrating in front of me.

  38

  Jules

  I couldn’t hold back my giddiness and flung my arms around his neck. This would help pick him up. He’d had a shitty day, but the team had won and now there was cake.

  His hands came up slowly, hesitantly, and the small prickles of doubt flickered.

  “Is this okay?” I leaned back, catching his gaze.

  He looked over my shoulder at everyone else. “Now is not a good time. I told you I didn’t want to do anything for my birthday.” He kept the words low. Not quite clenched teeth, but teetering on the edge.

  A knot formed in my stomach.

  “I know, but I thought it would be a nice surprise. A way to celebrate a win and your birthday and the game.”

  Alexis came in and looked around the room. Finally, a little back up. She’d be able to show him how much fun this could be. The party itself and half of the details had been her idea, and I appreciated all the little tips she’d given me along the way.

  “A birthday party?” Her eyebrows dipped low like this was some alien ritual she’d been dropped in the middle of. She hugged Berk and I swear she sniffed him, going up on her tiptoes.

  “I wanted to come by because I know how hard today is for you and how much you hate anyone even mentioning your birthday.” Her pointed glare turned the knot in my stomach into one looped around the top of an anchor sinking to the bottom of the ocean.

  She’d mentioned it to me.

  She’d given me the idea to have a party, knowing Berk would hate it. She’d set a trap and I’d fallen for it. I’d been so eager for a little bit of positive female bonding that I’d let her manipulate me. Anger warred with hurt, and anger was winning.

  “You hate your birthday?” I turned to Berk, meeting his fiery gaze.

  “Remember when those kids teased you in sixth grade when you didn’t have cupcakes for the whole class and you took on all five of them? They suspended you for, what?” She tapped her bottom lip. “Two weeks. Didn’t I mention that, Jules?”

  My mom had almost always been upfront with her disdain for me, but Alexis… a rage unlike any I’d ever known flooded every fiber of my being. She’d not only done this sneaky sabotage to screw me over, but she’d done it knowing it would hurt Berk in the process.

  And it was like a switched flipped in my head and I saw everything she’d been doing. Everything the guys had told me about her, everything she’d done to Berk up until this point.

  Everyone around us deflated a bit at the not-happy-to-see-them reception from Berk. People talked in the background, grabbed drinks, and steered clear of our little trio.

  “His birthdays are always reminders of bad shit.”

  I glared at Alexis. “I must have missed that part.”

  Her self-satisfied grin made me want to scream. It was one thing to take things out on me or hate me because I was with Berk, but to hurt her own brother? But that wasn’t what she called him unless prompted or in an attempt to push me out of a conversation.

  And the way she’d hugged him when she walked in. That wasn’t the hug of someone who thought about someone as a sibling.

  Was there a giant flashing ‘moron’ light above my head? Because there should be. This wasn’t about me not being good enough for her brother or her fearing I was using him. This was about her not wanting anyone else as competition.

  “Dude, what happened today? Coach was losing his mind in the locker room when you didn’t show.” One of the Fulton U football players passed, dropping off that nugget already three sheets to the wind.

  “You didn’t show.” My head whipped around to Berk.

  “I had something to do.”

  Berk’s gaze darted to Alexis.

  Did it have something to do with Alexis again? She was trying to sabotage his future. Standing in his way.

  “What the hell is that doing out here?” Berk pushed his way through three people and grabbed the old wrapped present that sat beside his cake. “Where did you get this?” He shook it at me.

  My mouth opened and closed. Alexis had given it to me. She’d said it was an old present she’d gotten him when they were
growing up that he’d been waiting for the perfect time to open. Teasing and joking with her about maybe never opening it in some older-brother torture. And maybe doing it in front of everyone at a party would finally get him to rip that paper off.

  Another lie. Another trap. I hated her. I don’t know that I’d ever truly hated someone before, but I hated her for what she’d done.

  He charged past everyone and headed for the stairs with the gift cradled in his arms.

  “Berk! I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

  “Why can’t you leave things alone, Jules?” He walked away from me like this was too much and his head was seconds from exploding. Without another word, he spun around and took the stairs three at a time.

  I followed him into his room, trying to figure out how I could fix this. “This was a mistake.”

  “How do you mistakenly throw someone a birthday party?”

  My mouth opened and closed. “Alexis…” My shoulders dipped and I lifted my arm, letting it fall limply to my side. “Alexis mentioned your birthday and that a party would be a good idea.” That sounded like such a weak excuse and the look in his eyes told me everything I needed to know.

  His head snapped back. “She would never. This is not the day… Especially not today.” His voice was tight, like every breath was a chore, requiring every ounce of his strength. He opened his closet and put the present on the shelf. His fingers shook as he set it down and closed the doors.

  “Tell me why not today. Let me in, Berk. Tell me what’s going on. What happened today? You were late to the game? Do you have any idea what you’re putting at risk?”

  “I know exactly what’s at risk.”

  “Then talk to me. Tell me what happened and maybe I can help. Maybe we can work on it together.”

  “There’s nothing to be worked on, Jules. There’s nothing to be fixed. It’s unfixable. Not everything can be solved with cupcakes and cookies. Some of us are dealing with real-world shit that can’t be fixed with a smile and a pound of sugar. You don’t understand. You couldn’t understand. With your country estates that ran in your family, and beautiful three-day engagement parties and your sister’s wedding that’ll probably cost as much as I make next year in the pros.”