“Courtesy would be a nice start.”
“I’m not being rude.”
“Well, I don’t understand these one-word answers.”
“I can’t be your best buddy, Larissa.”
“Why not?”
“Because we’re living together and I want that to be real. And you don’t.”
“It’s not that I don’t want it to be real.”
“Then what is it?”
“What if I start believing this is real and you decide that I’m not the right woman for you to spend your life with.”
“I’m not that flaky, Rissa. I know my mind.”
“Right now you think you do because of Peter.”
“Woman, are you trying to drive me insane?”
“No, I’m not. I just don’t want to end up like my mom did.”
“Alone?”
“Yeah, alone.”
“Where was your dad?”
She took a deep breath and looked into Jake’s eyes. There was no way she wanted to get into this conversation with him. But she wasn’t prepared to spend the rest of her life or the rest of the weekend with Jake while he gave her the cold shoulder.
Taking a deep breath, she said, “I don’t have one.”
Eight
“No dad? I don’t understand,” Jake said. He rubbed the bridge of his nose with two fingers and tried to assemble everything she’d told him of her past. He knew she’d had a rough childhood and he didn’t really want to be responsible for her having to relive it now. But he had to understand her.
He hadn’t been able to sleep last night and his future evenings looked just as restless unless she gave up her idea of a platonic marriage. The only idea he’d had that might work was keeping a distance between them, but even that was next to impossible.
“Explain it to me,” he said at last. She was seated next to him in a pretty pink dress that made her eyes seem even bluer. With her blond hair free around her shoulders she looked too feminine for him. Too soft and gentle and he was very afraid that his baser instincts would overwhelm him, despite his mother’s best efforts to make him into a gentleman.
“There’s not much to say. My mom trapped herself a husband, but Reilly wasn’t interested in being a dad, so he refused to have any contact with me. When I was four, he ran off with his secretary, leaving us nothing.”
“I’m sorry, Larissa. But I don’t see how our marriage resembles your mom’s. I’ve already told you I don’t feel trapped. We were both there the night Peter was conceived.”
She smiled at him—the first time she’d done so today, and though he knew he shouldn’t let it, he felt that smile all the way to his soul. It made him feel bigger than he was—like a man who wasn’t a disappointment to his dad. A man who hadn’t spent most of his adult life dodging responsibility. A man who could be hers for the rest of his life.
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Do you feel better now?” he asked.
She shrugged and glanced out the window of the car. Jake leaned back in the seat and thought about all Larissa had told him. He suspected she was leaving out some very important details. He realized suddenly that perhaps her own father’s treatment of her had influenced her decision not to tell him about Peter.
“You kept Peter a secret because you thought I’d treat him the way your dad did you,” he said.
She turned to look at him, but she didn’t say anything. Her silence confirmed his suspicion. This was why he’d never dated a woman for too long. He knew he wasn’t good at building relationships.
“I’d never hurt our son,” he said at last. He meant it too. Realizing that made him doubt he should continue with his custody suit. Because the one thing that would really hurt Peter was not having Larissa in his life. And though he justified his suit as insurance that Larissa could never cut him out of their lives again, he knew it was more about payback. Suddenly payback didn’t seem justifiable. He’d keep it on the back burner if this marriage didn’t work out.
Larissa bit her lower lip, tears glittering in her eyes. “I know that. Believe me, Jake, I wouldn’t have made love with you that night if I thought you were anything like Reilly was.”
He should put the car back in gear and do what Nicola had suggested this morning before they left—pretend they were actors and show the world a couple in love. Jake knew he was going to have no problem pretending to be in lust with Larissa. His real problem was going to be remembering it was a charade.
“Then what did you mean by not wanting to end up like your mom?”
“Just that Reilly resented her.”
“I don’t resent you,” he said, drawing his finger down the side of her neck. She shivered under his touch and leaned just the tiniest bit closer to him.
He leaned down and kissed the base of her neck. She trembled under his touch, her fingers coming to hold his head. He glanced up at her. Her eyes were closed and she held him with a fierceness he knew she’d deny.
They were both masters of hiding. But he didn’t intend to let her hide anymore. She didn’t want a platonic relationship with him and they both knew it.
He raked his teeth down the column of her neck and she moaned deep in her throat. He felt the vibrations against his lips.
“This is crazy,” she said.
“This is right,” he said, pulling her more fully into his arms. She wedged her hands between them and pushed away slightly.
“What now?”
“We said we’d try to keep this nonsexual.”
“God, woman, how many times are you going to bring that up? I think it’s obvious we’re fighting a losing battle.”
“I know.”
“Then why’d you bring it up?”
She took a deep breath. “Because I’m not the type of woman who is going to make a good Danforth wife.”
“Why not?”
“You need someone of your own class. Someone who comes from money and is used to eating on bone china and drinking from Waterford crystal glasses.”
“I don’t live like that.”
“No, but your family does. And they’re going to realize I’m not worthy of the Danforth name.”
“I’m not sure I’m worthy of the name. But it’s mine and once we’re married it’ll be yours. I don’t want to hear any more about it from you.”
“Yes, sir,” she said.
“Woman,” he growled at her.
She laughed. It made him feel lighter in that moment than he’d have thought possible. The more he learned of Larissa’s childhood, the more he understood why she’d kept Peter a secret. Understanding wasn’t the same as forgiving, though.
“Now, let’s get back on the road. I don’t want to miss our flight,” he said, putting the car in gear.
“Want a drink?” Jake asked once they were seated on the plane in Atlanta. There hadn’t been a direct flight to Vegas from Savannah.
“Yes, something strong.”
“Still wigged out from the landing of our flight from Savannah?” he asked, waving the flight attendant over to them.
“I’d like to say no,” she said.
He ordered two bottles of Corona. He handed her one and Larissa played with the lime and bottle while other passengers filed past them, taking their seats.
“It felt like we were on a roller coaster. I hate roller coasters,” she said.
“I love ’em,” he said, tilting his bottle back and taking a long drag.
Was there a better example of all that was different between them? “You would. I’m not like that.”
“Like what?”
She thought about it for a minute. “Adventurous.”
“I’d disagree with that. In some settings you are extremely adventurous.”
“Which ones?” she said.
He leaned closer to her. His spicy cologne surrounded her and then she felt his breath brush against her cheek. “Intimate ones.”
She gave him a secret smile. Every time she was convinced they w
ere an ill-suited match, this physical spark flamed back to life. There was a bond between them that went way beyond being parents to Peter, and touched on her secret fear of depending too strongly on this man.
“Drink your beer before I decide to test that adventurous spirit,” he warned.
She took a sip of her beer and threw caution to the winds. “What if want to take that test?”
“You don’t. Platonic friendship, remember?” he asked.
“Hoisted on my own petard,” she said. She wondered if she’d merely issued Jake a challenge by insisting on a platonic marriage—a challenge he’d be helpless to resist. She knew him well enough to know he liked to win. Was that why she’d done it? So she could say he’d seduced her into changing her mind? So she could blame him if things went wrong?
She didn’t dwell on that too closely, because it made her the worst kind of manipulator. She was only fooling herself. Jake wanted her and had made no bones about it. She was the one attempting to play it safe…and failing miserably.
“Indeed. Changed your mind?”
Time for honesty, Larissa. “About a dozen times but I always come back to the same decision.”
“No sex?” He arched an eyebrow at her.
If she changed her mind it would make this ache deep inside her go away. For a little while, things would seem fine between them, but she suspected in the end she’d end up with a bigger ache. “Yes,” she said quietly.
He finished off his beer. “In that case I’d better find something to distract me.”
She took a sip of her beer and pulled the SkyMall catalogue from the pocket in front of her. Their time in the air passed quickly.
“The pilot has turned on the fasten-seat-belt sign signaling our descent into the McCarran International Airport.”
Larissa nervously gripped her armrest. Once the plane landed, everything would be out of her control. Jake had worked on his laptop through most of the flight. He’d scheduled a meeting for late this afternoon with the Vegas D&D’s. She was a little in awe of his business persona. It was nothing like the frat boy she’d known in their college days or the man she’d come to know since Jasmine Carmody had forced them back into each other’s lives.
He put his hand over hers on the armrest and pried her fingers free. “Nervous?”
“Yes.”
“Don’t be. I’m right here and I won’t let anything happen to you,” he promised. Lifting her hand to his lips, he brushed a soft kiss against her knuckles.
She bit her lip and looked away from him and out the window. That was the problem. Jake was here and she wanted to believe it was forever. It was getting harder and harder to remember that he was here because his family had forced him to marry her to save face.
He’d been solicitous during their flight—friendlier than he’d been in the car on their way to the airport. She’d been tempted to lift the armrest and scoot as close to him as she could, to rest her head on his shoulder while he worked. She wanted to pretend for a minute that they were really going to Vegas to marry because they couldn’t bear not being man and wife any longer.
But she knew the truth and that knowledge had kept the armrest firmly in place and her head on the back of the leather first-class seat.
He lifted the armrest and tugged her against his side. Leaning close to her, he whispered, “‘The woods are lovely, dark and deep.’
She glanced up at him. God, this felt too right. Too good. But for this moment, while the plane was landing, she wasn’t going to pull away. She was going to stay close to the only man she’d ever trusted and repeated the words of their poem to.
Together they recited the rest of Frost’s poem. The last line echoed in her head…miles to go before I sleep. She’d felt alone on her journey for so long. But as she glanced up at Jake and saw him watching her with those brown eyes of his, she didn’t feel alone anymore.
And in her heart she knew she’d never be the same. Because Jake wasn’t just the right man to fix the mess Jasmine Carmody’s report would create, he was the right man to fill the emptiness in her soul.
Every time he thought he had Larissa figured out, she did something that made him realize he didn’t. He’d meant to keep his distance from her, but he’d been unable to. In all the years he’d known Larissa, he’d never realized how much of herself she kept from the world, and especially from him.
The one thing she’d never tried to hide was how much their son meant to her, and he had a few doubts about the wisdom of continuing with his plan to sue for full custody of Peter.
Larissa started to pull out of his arms when the plane pulled up to the gate. He stopped her with a quick kiss. She smiled up at him and he felt it in his groin. He didn’t know if he could keep up the dual life that they’d decided on. Public touching and kissing, private hands-off.
Yet, she’d said again today she wasn’t ready to make love with him. And he wasn’t going to push her. He was going to sit back and let fate direct him. Hell, no, he wasn’t. He was going to do his damnedest to make sure she came to the same conclusion he already had.
“Nicola has arranged for a reporter to meet us here.”
“Jasmine Carmody?”
“No. Another one who will write up a piece about how in love we are and how circumstances kept us apart.”
“What circumstances?” she asked.
“My traveling, your job. We’ll be vague. The important thing is to appear totally in love.”
“Totally?”
“Yes,” he said. Nicola had said nothing about appearing to be in love, but Jake wanted to know what it would be like to have Larissa look at him with complete devotion.
“I’m not sure I can do this.”
“Too late to back out,” he said.
“I won’t leave you hanging, Jake. That was just nerves.”
“Would it be so hard to love me?” he asked.
She bit her lower lip and closed her eyes. They were so close she was still in his arms, but he felt a gulf open between them. He felt the space that Larissa used to protect herself from relationships open up. He felt her backing away and did the only thing he could think of to pull her back to him.
Storm her barricades. Lay siege to the fortress that was her body and win the battle. He brushed his lips back and forth over hers. “Don’t fight it,” he whispered.
“Fight what?” she asked, against his mouth.
“This,” he said, angling his head and taking her mouth the way he wanted to take her body. With long thrusts of his tongue. Claiming every inch of her mouth with his own.
She opened for him and he felt her capitulation. This was the one place where they communicated with total honesty. Seducing her with tender pulls of her lips, he pushed his own hammering desires to the back burner and strove for patience.
He smoothed his hands down her back, bringing their chests together. Her heart hammered against his. She felt small and fragile in his arms.
Lord, she tasted better than he remembered. It felt like it had been years since he’d last held her like this. Then the dynamic of the kiss changed. Larissa lifted her hands to frame his face and tasted him with long, slow kisses.
Dammit, he was the one in control, he thought. But as she scraped the edges of her fingernails down the side of his neck, he gave up all pretense. He was putty in her hands.
Sliding his hands to her waist, he started to pull her onto his lap. He needed her over him now. He was hard and straining and he honestly didn’t think he could wait another second to bury himself in her body.
“The captain has turned off the fasten-seat-belt sign, you are now free to gather your things and disembark.”
Larissa jerked away from him. He cursed under his breath, dropping his head to his hands and breathing deeply to try to regain some control. He’d been ready to take her here in the damn airplane.
The other passengers began gathering their luggage and filling the aisle. There was no way he was going to be able to walk off the plane unt
il he’d had a few minutes to forget about the incredible woman he’d just had in his lap.
He glanced over at her. She watched him with wide eyes that were full of confusion and possibly hope. She touched her lips gingerly.
“I’m not going to apologize,” he said.
“Good. I’m not either.”
He’d forgotten how sensual she was. Forgotten that night in Atlanta when he’d discovered that her passion for books and words extended to him as well. “I figured total lust would make better headlines than being in love.”
“Good idea.”
She gathered up her purse and unfastened her seat belt, preparing to stand. He put his hand on her arm, holding her in her seat.
“Aren’t you ready to get off the plane?”
“No,” he said.
She gave him a quizzical look. He gestured to his lap. Her eyes widened.
“I guess I do owe you an apology.”
“Not on your life, Larissa.”
She got that heavy-lidded look in her eyes and leaned toward him, but he held her back. “I’m an inch away from saying to hell with it and seeing if we can both squeeze in that rest room up there.”
“Jake—”
He covered her lips with his fingers. “Not another word.”
The last of the passengers filed by and Jake felt better under control. He picked up his briefcase and stood, keeping his hand on Larissa’s elbow as they exited the plane.
She tugged her arm out from under his grip and took his hand. She slid her fingers through his. He glanced down at their joined hands and tried to not let it matter. Their holding hands shouldn’t mean anything, but it did.
She trusted him. If she didn’t want to admit that, it was fine with him. But he knew there was something between them now that hadn’t been there before.
Nine
Larissa smoothed her hands down the sides of her simple wedding gown. She wasn’t sure who had arranged for it, but there had been a small fortune in wedding gowns in the suite when Larissa had arrived. Jake had told her to pick one. He’d left her alone in the suite for the past four hours.
Sin City Wedding (Dynasties: The Danforths Book 3) Page 8