The Surrogate Mother

by Freida McFadden

  Amy just sighs and shakes her head.

  _____

  The ball is red and I keep watching it. This is trickier than it sounds. The ball goes up, down, to one side then it’s gone. Magically, inexplicably gone. Where did it go? I try turning my head, but I still can’t find it.

  Where is it?

  “Whoa, Charly,” a voice says. I feel a hand on my shoulder, pushing me. That’s when I realize that I have been falling to the side. The hand is keeping me from falling.

  There’s the ball again! I found it!

  It’s red.

  The person holding the red ball has short brown hair like a boy, but I don’t think it is a boy. Her features are delicate like a girl. And her voice is low pitched, but still definitely sounds like a girl. So I think she is a girl. I’m like ninety-nine percent sure.

  Also, I look down and her name tag says Valerie, which is a girl’s name. So yes, I am ninety-nine percent sure she’s a girl.

  “Is this what you were looking for, Charly?” the girl (I think) says.

  Who is she talking to? Who is Charly?

  Oh wait, I think that’s me. I think that’s my name.

  Valerie rotates the red ball around in her fingers. She holds it in my face. “Do you want to try grabbing it?”

  I know she wants me to do something, something to do with the ball, but I don’t really understand what. So I just look at the ball. We wait there for a minute, then Valerie’s face breaks out into a smile and she shakes her head.

  “Wishful thinking,” she says with a laugh.

  I keep watching the red ball. I watch it goes up, up, up. This time, I swear I’m not going to lose track of it.

  “How is she doing today?”

  The question was asked by a pretty girl with her blond hair in a ponytail. She looks a little bit familiar. I look at her name tag and read her name. Amy. I’m sure I’ve seen her before.

  Valerie shrugs. “Pretty bad at the beginning of the session, but just now she was tracking this red ball pretty well. I mean, she didn’t grab for it or anything, but she followed it almost everywhere.”

  “Everywhere?”

  Valerie smiles. “Well, she loses it when it goes to the left. Her left neglect is still horrendous. She has no awareness at all of her left side. She’s practically falling out of her wheelchair to the left.”

  Who is “she”? Who are they talking about? There’s nobody else here besides me. They couldn’t be talking about me though. I can’t be falling out of my wheelchair because I’m not in a wheelchair. Why would I be in a wheelchair? Those are for old people.

  I look down, to my right side. I see an armrest, then a large metal rimmed wheel.

  Huh. Maybe I really am in a wheelchair.

  “Better than nothing,” Amy comments. She sounds a little bit sad, but I’m not sure why. “I don’t know… She had one really good day about a week ago when I got her to open her mouth for some food and even chew it a little bit, but then nothing since then. I can barely get her to stay awake through my session.”

  “We did the coma scale yesterday,” Valerie says, brushing some strands of brown hair from her eyes. She has very pretty eyes.

  “And?”

  “What do you think?” Valerie snorts. “Still vegetative. No purposeful movements.”

  They are both quiet for a minute.

  Oh shit, I don’t see the red ball. They were distracting me and I lost track of it. Where did it go?

  “It’s sad,” Amy says. “I just can’t get anything out of her most of the time. I hate to give up though. She’s so young… and she used to be a doctor.”

  “Yeah, but her insurance…”

  Oh my God, there it is! The red ball! It’s in Valerie’s hand. I found it!

  This time, I am definitely not going to lose track of that ball. Valerie gestures with it and I watch it. It goes up and down. It’s easy to follow because it’s red.

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