Infected

by Alana Terry

  “Gethsemane? Sounds like the name of a big music festival.”

  “I guess. Well, that’s where Jesus went to pray the night before he was crucified. I mean killed. He’s praying there, and he says, God, please don’t let me have to die, but it’s not what I will, but what you will. So he was praying to God for his own desires, but then he also started to pray that if God wanted something different, that should be what happens instead. Does that make sense?”

  “No. Because if Jesus is God, why would he pray to himself?”

  Kennedy sighed. She couldn’t think through everything logically right now. “Ok, that’s a whole other question we can talk about a different time.” She was just about to make a mental note to ask Dominic how he would answer that when she remembered. She wondered how long it would take before she fully realized he was gone. It was like losing a limb but for weeks, even months, you keep trying to use it. Keep surprising yourself when you rediscover it isn’t there. Mourn its loss all over again.

  She tried to remember Willow’s original question. “Well, with God, we should pray like Jesus did. We can tell him what’s on our hearts, what we want out of the situation, but there should also be the submission to recognize that he might know better — he does know better — and that even if he doesn’t answer our prayers the way we expect him too, we still have to have faith that he’s good.”

  “So basically, you’re saying that if Woong’s gonna die, Woong’s gonna die, and that God has some sort of good reason for making that happen. So then why do we pray for his healing at all?”

  She didn’t have an answer. Where was Dominic when she needed him? Why couldn’t he be here to tackle these questions for her? Why did God take him the way he did? Did Kennedy even believe everything she was telling Willow? Did God actually want Dominic to die, or did he just choose not to intervene when some lunatic took his life? She let out her breath. “I really don’t know. Prayer’s important. I just don’t know ...” She let her voice trail off before apologizing. “I wish I had more to tell you.”

  Willow slowed down to turn into the Providence parking garage. “That’s ok. I guess I probably picked a bad time to come up with heavy questions like that. I’m sorry. I know you have other things on your mind right now.”

  “Don’t feel bad. I love that you’re asking these things. It’s just that ...” Her voice caught. “He was always so much better at theology than me.”

  Willow reached out and rubbed Kennedy’s leg. “I know.”

  Kennedy swallowed and reminded herself it wouldn’t always be so painful. Right now, she had other things to think about. Like Woong and his parents.

  Willow parked, and the girls walked into the hospital without talking. Kennedy was thankful Willow didn’t try to fill the silence with empty words or platitudes. She was thankful her friend knew her well enough to leave her to her own thoughts for a while. When Kennedy was ready to talk, when she was ready to laugh and play and live again, Willow would be there for her. And she was with her now, right beside her on the way to Woong’s hospital room. Right next to her as Kennedy fought through the trembling in her gut.

  Sandy was in the hall, leaning against the window and talking into the phone outside the quarantine chamber. She smiled tiredly when she saw Kennedy and Willow. “Good morning, girls.” She wrapped Kennedy up in a sturdy hug. “I love you, sweetie. I’ve been praying for you all morning. You and Woong. That’s about all God’s heard from me today, I’m afraid.”

  Willow held back when her phone beeped.

  “How’s Carl?” Kennedy glanced around looking for him.

  “He’s doing a lot better. Got himself discharged last night. And good thing, too. He was about to drive those nurses crazy.”

  Kennedy smiled. “How’s his health?”

  “Got his sugar levels under two-hundred. Praise the Lord for that. He’ll be on meds for it. Have to change the way he eats, which means less sweets. I either need to find some new recipes or come up with a new hobby.” She twirled a strand of gray hair that had fallen out of her braid. “But listen to me prattle. Are you all right, hon? Did you sleep ok?”

  Kennedy nodded.

  “And your roommate? She’s taking good care of you?”

  Kennedy glanced over at Willow, who was laughing at an incoming text. “Yeah. She’s been great.”

  “I’m so glad you two have each other.”

  Kennedy had to agree. Leave it to Sandy to help her focus on her blessings even in the midst of such turmoil.

  “How’s Woong today?”

  Sandy sighed. “I don’t know, pumpkin. I just don’t know. One minute he’s fine. Playing Xbox, wanting me to read to him. Next thing, his fever spikes, and he can’t even hold his head up. It’s a sad business, darling, to see your own child that sick.” She shook her head. “I feel so bad, dear. You’re going through your own storms all by yourself, and I’ve been too worried to do you any good, I’m afraid.”

  “No, you’ve been great.” Kennedy wanted to give Sandy another hug but felt self-conscious about it. Usually, Sandy was the one hugging her. “And I hope you know we’re praying hard for Woong. Willow and me both.”

  “Well, I appreciate it, love. That boy needs all the prayer covering he can get.”

  Kennedy wanted to ask Sandy the same question Willow had asked her on the way to Providence, but it wasn’t the right time.

  A nurse stepped up behind Sandy and tapped her on the shoulder. “Excuse me, Mrs. Lindgren. The doctor told me they have your son’s test results back. They’re waiting for you in the conference room.”

  Sandy smoothed out the fabric of her flowery skirt. “Oh, that soon? Oh, dear. Let me just tell Woong I need to step out for a minute ...”

  “He’s asleep.” The nurse pointed through the window.

  “Ok, that’s good. Poor little angel hardly slept a wink last night. Now, I just need to wait for my husband. He stepped into the men’s room down the hall. I doubt he’ll be ...”

  “My supervisor already found him. He’s at the conference room. They’re just waiting for you.”

  Sandy gave Kennedy a nervous smile. “Oh, then I guess I better go. You don’t mind waiting here in case he wakes up, do you, sweetie? I hate the thought of him all alone in there, finding everyone gone, all by himself in that big room ...”

  “I’ll stay here,” Kennedy assured her.

  Sandy gave her a weak half-hug. “Then I guess I’ll be back.”

  Kennedy thought she felt Sandy’s body quiver just a little.

  “I’ll see you then.”

  Sandy offered a brave smile then turned around, her long skirt rustling around her as she followed the nurse down the hall to hear her son’s prognosis.

  CHAPTER 29

  Kennedy had never spent a longer fifteen minutes. Once Willow finished texting, Kennedy filled her in on what was going on, and they both decided it was time to join together in prayer. A few minutes later, after praying through every possible outcome and every possible contingency they could collectively imagine, there was nothing to do but wait.

  “Nick wants to know if you want to swing over to his house tonight. He’s making spaghetti and says we can play some cards afterwards. I told him I’d only go if you feel up to it.”

  Kennedy could hardly focus on her words. How long would those doctors take?

  “Sure, that sounds fun.”

  “You don’t have to decide right now. We can always play it by ear.”

  “Yeah, ok.”

  “You don’t have a clue what I’m talking about, do you?”

  “I’m listening.”

  “What did I just say?”

  “Something about tonight. You want to play cards.”

  Willow gave Kennedy’s uninjured shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “It’s going to be ok. You’ll see.” She smiled. “I’ve got a good feeling about this.”

  Kennedy doubted that Willow’s positive outlook made any real difference, but she was thankful at least o
ne of them was optimistic. Kennedy wished she could bottle up and borrow some of that hope.

  “I’m serious. I don’t know how to explain it. But a few minutes ago, back when we were praying for Woong, I got this really settled feeling in my heart. Like someone was reaching out and letting me know it’s going to be just fine. Do you think that was God? I mean, does he work that way? Or do I have my signals crossed?”

  Kennedy tried to smile. “I really don’t know. I guess it might have been the Lord.”

  “Yeah, your pastor, he was saying something like that in his sermon last Sunday.”

  Kennedy studied her quizzically. “Saying something like what?”

  “That God can talk to you through the Holy Spirit. What’d he call it? A still, small voice. Something like that.”

  “You went to Saint Margaret’s?”

  Willow stared at her neon-green fingernails. “No, but I listened to the sermon online while I was doing my yoga the other day. What are you looking at me like that for?”

  “I didn’t know you were listening to any sermons.”

  Willow shrugged. “Gotta learn somewhere, right? He’s a pretty good preacher, you know.”

  “Yeah,” Kennedy sighed. “He really is.”

  “So anyway,” Willow went on, “what do you think about what I was saying? Think that really was God talking to me? Telling me everything was going to be fine?”

  Kennedy didn’t want to discourage her friend, but she didn’t want Willow to get her hopes up too high only to be disappointed, either. “I don’t know. It could have been anything. Could have been God, could have been wishful thinking ...”

  “No, this was different. There was something ... I don’t know. Something special about this. I’m new to all this Christian stuff, you know, but I really don’t think it was me making it all up. Does that make any sense?”

  “I guess so. Who knows? Maybe it really was God talking to you, telling you Woong would be ok.”

  “I hope so. But like you said, who knows, right? I mean, God probably lets lots of things happen to you all the time without giving you warning, right?”

  Kennedy stared blankly into Woong’s quarantine room, the deafening thunder of Brian Robertson’s explosives still echoing in her mind.

  “No, you don’t often get a warning.”

  CHAPTER 30

  “Good news, girls!”

  Kennedy had been so lost in thought that Sandy’s chipper voice startled her.

  Good news? Kennedy was ready for a heavy dose of that.

  Willow elbowed her gently in the side. “See? What did I tell you?”

  Sandy bustled up to Kennedy and Willow and gave them both giant hugs. “Oh, the Lord is good. The Lord is so good!”

  “What’d you find out?” Kennedy asked.

  Sandy let out a melodic chuckle. “Our son has typhus.”

  Kennedy stared, certain she’d heard wrong.

  Willow paused with her fingers halfway through her hair. “I thought you just said ...”

  “It’s not Nipah,” Sandy interrupted joyously. “It’s just plain old, regular typhus. Serious, of course, and it’s a good thing they’ve had him in quarantine, but it’s definitely treatable.”

  “How’d he catch it?” Kennedy asked.

  “That’s the funny thing. Well, not really funny. But the thing is, the doctors think he’s already had typhus once. You know, he talked about falling real sick before he made his way to the orphanage. Back when he was still living on the streets. And we never knew what it was he had, but now the doctors think what happened was he caught typhus while he was still in Korea, recovered from it by the grace of God alone, and the infection he has now is basically a repeat of the same one. Something about the disease never completely leaving his system, and then it coming back up ... Oh, you’d have to ask the doctor for all the medical details. But what it means is it’s perfectly treatable. I mean, poor thing’ll have to stay in the hospital for a couple more days, but he’ll be out of isolation soon. Won’t have to sit in there all alone. I can be there with him, long as I wash up real good every time I leave and come back in. Have to wear a gown and whatnot, but at least we’ll be together.”

  Kennedy didn’t have to force her smile. Sandy’s joy was wonderfully catching. “I’m so glad to hear that. You must be so relieved.”

  “Oh, you have no idea. I told God, I said to him, Lord, I’m doing my hardest surrendering this boy to you, but God, I just can’t give him up yet. I just can’t. And the whole time, there was something in me that knew. Knew I wasn’t supposed to just roll over and accept this terrible illness. Knew I was supposed to pray for his healing and pray boldly. But I wasn’t sure if that was coming from me or not. But I started out doing my best to surrender, surrender my child to the Lord just like Abraham on that mountain, and the more I prayed, the more I determined that God wanted me to have faith that my little boy would be healed in Jesus’ name. That I needed to go to battle for him and rebuke that sickness he had. I was so scared to believe it, but praise God, what really matters is Woong’s going to be just fine. I’d invite you girls in to celebrate with us, but they still want to limit his contact with others. You’ll excuse me if I’m rude and say good-bye for now, won’t you? I just have to get in there and give my little boy a hug.”

  Kennedy glanced through the window, where Carl was already putting on the hospital’s protective gear.

  “You go in there,” she told Sandy. “We’ll talk to you soon.”

  Sandy blew a quick kiss and bustled through the door to the scrub station.

  A few minutes later, Kennedy stood at the window and watched while Sandy scooped both arms beneath Woong and wrapped him up in a protective hug. Carl stood over them both, sobbing softly as he held his family close.

  Kennedy blinked, surprised to find Willow’s arm slipping around her.

  “We should go,” Willow whispered.

  “Yeah,” Kennedy agreed. She glanced once more at the emotional reunion, wondering if even heaven itself could contain that much joy, and then pried her eyes away. “Yeah, let’s get out of here.”

  CHAPTER 31

  “Well, this has been a great night so far. Anybody want some more spaghetti?” Nick held out the pot, which was almost completely empty.

  “I’m stuffed,” Kennedy admitted.

  Willow hadn’t stopped smiling at Nick. “Me, too.”

  They were seated around Nick’s living room, which was surprisingly tidy compared to the other times Kennedy had been here.

  Nick grabbed a deck of cards from his coffee table. “Who’s up for a game?”

  Willow glanced at Kennedy. “You tired, or should we stay for a little while?”

  All Kennedy wanted to do was get to sleep, but she knew Willow would be disappointed if she didn’t get a little more time with Nick. Kennedy had never seen two people connect as fast as they had. She didn’t have a clue what happened while she was being held hostage in the conference room, but Nick and her roommate had already jumped past the awkward new-crush stage and were comfortably holding hands and making ridiculously goofy ga-ga faces at each other every chance they got. The picture was bittersweet. Kennedy was so happy her roommate had found someone, but still ...

  “Ok, you guys wanna play some rummy or hearts or Egyptian rat race?”

  “What exactly is Egyptian rat race?” Kennedy asked.

  “You mean you’ve never played?” Willow raised her penciled eyebrows incredulously.

  “No. And I’m starting to think I’m the only person in Massachusetts who hasn’t.”

  “You probably are.” Nick explained the basic premise of the game. There was no way she could remember all the rules, but she was willing to give it a try. She glanced around his messy bachelor pad. At Willow’s sappy smile. At Nick’s shining eyes each time his hand brushed Willow’s while he dealt out the cards.

  So many good things had happened in the past few days. Woong’s optimistic prognosis, at least compared to w
hat it might have been if he’d really contracted the Nipah virus. Willow and Nick — apparently soulmates — finding each other in the chaos of a hospital lockdown. Willow’s renewed interest in maturing her faith.

  There was so much to be thankful for. So much joy around her. Kennedy wasn’t about to burst into a belly laugh or forget the sorrows she’d experienced, but she could at least recognize and quietly rejoice in the happiness surrounding her.

  She had no idea what the next few days and weeks would hold, but there was a peace in her spirit she couldn’t deny. There would be tears. There would be grief. The heaviness of mourning. The weariness of sorrow. But through it all, the Lord would be with her. And so would her friends.

  The comfort she felt wouldn’t bring Dominic back to her, but somehow, she knew that it would be enough.

  CHAPTER 32

  Why should I feel discouraged,

  Why should the shadows come,

  Why should my heart be lonely,

  And long for heaven and home,

  When Jesus is my portion;

  my constant friend is he.

  His eye is on the sparrow,

  and I know he watches me.

  “That was wicked insane how many people showed up,” Willow said as she and Kennedy followed the crowd out of the church.

  “Yeah.” If you included the photographers and members of the press eager to cover the funeral of Massachusetts’ most recent hero, Kennedy guessed nearly a thousand people had shown up to pay their respects to the fallen chaplain.

  “How are you doing?” Willow put her arm around Kennedy as the spring breeze whipped through their hair.

  “A little better than I thought I would be. The service was really nice.”

  Willow nodded. “Yeah, it was. I like that last song they sang. What’s that one called?”

  “His Eye is on the Sparrow.”

  “Yeah, that’s a good one. It was fitting for today, too. Some of the others were so upbeat, it was like we were at some big fiesta instead of a funeral.”