Pyramid Schemes

by Peter David

  “It is the name given me by my mother.”

  “I see,” she said casually. She had strolled over to me and was looking me up and down appraisingly. “She was quite imaginative.”

  She imagined me accomplishing great things in my life, so I would say yes, that is certainly an accurate assessment. I nodded. “She was.”

  “Dead?”

  “For quite some time.”

  “Natural causes?”

  My voice dropped, becoming unaccustomedly hoarse. “I’d rather not discuss it, if that’s all right with you.”

  “As you wish. So,” and she clapped her hands and rubbed them together briskly as if she were about to begin treatment on me. “What can I do for you?”

  “Well, I’m not quite sure we should discuss it here, Nuskin, if that’s all right with you.”

  “All right.” She gestured toward the exit. “Let us go for a walk.”

  We walked out of the building and began a leisurely stroll toward the marketplace. Ahmway followed, of course, but made sure to hang back some paces so that we would be alone. Nuskin glanced over her shoulder, taking in the discreet distance that Ahmway was maintaining. “He was assigned to you by the Rama, was he not?” It was phrased as a question, but wasn’t, really.

  “That’s right.”

  “And may I ask how you came by this honor?”

  “I’m not entirely sure,” I admitted. “I was holding a talisman at the right time and that opened quite a few doors.”

  “Ah. You had a ping pong.”

  “I did indeed.”

  She laughed softly at that, shaking her head. “That would be my doing, I’m afraid.”

  “Yours…?”

  “It was something I instituted when he was very young. I assume that you are aware I raised him, yes?” I nodded and she continued. “As the young Rama, naturally he was entitled to whatever he wished. But his father did not desire for him to grow up with such an entitled attitude, with the notion that all he had to do was ask for something and it would be provided him. So I instituted the concept of the ping pong. When he would behave himself well, he would earn one of the balls and that would entitle him to a wish. He typically used it for something trivial…an extra piece of cake or some such. But he became enamored of it and wound up recreating it as part of his reign.”

  “That’s very charming.”

  She stopped at the stall of a fruit seller and purchased a nectarine. She glanced at me questioningly and I shook my head, indicating that I was not hungry. She shrugged and bit into the nectarine, and the juice flowed from it and down around the edges of her mouth. Insanely, I found that attractive. Granted, it had been an unconscionably long time since I had been with a woman, but the notion of becoming attracted to a nurse seemed absurd. Especially when I considered her an option for my use.

  “I need to speak to you about something.”

  “I suspected as much,” she said, “considering that you obviously sought me out. May I assume that it has something to do with the Rama?”

  “It does indeed. It is about this law that first born Shewish sons should be executed.”

  She kept her face carefully impassive, as if she were doing so through years of practice. “I cannot say I am surprised. You are not the first to be concerned about it and will doubtless not be the last.” “That sounds to me as if you are resigned to it.”

  “Do you know the reasons behind it?”

  “I have been informed of it, yes.”

  “Then that should be enough to inform you that the Rama is not likely to back away from it. He believes that he is endeavoring to preserve the future of Rogypt. He is not about to toss aside the future of his country simply to spare the feelings of his people.”

  “People you obviously care about,” I pointed out. “I mean, you’re here tending to them.”

  She shrugged. “Everyone has to be somewhere.”

  “But you must have a reason,” I insisted. “What is your connection to them?”

  Nuskin chuckled at that. “My connection is that I am a human being and they are human beings, although granted there are some who do not view them in that respect. I am simply looking to occupy my time. I would not advise reading anything beyond that into my activities.”

  I began to respond when suddenly I heard a very distinctive sound. One that I had heard enough times in my life that I knew immediately we were in danger. It was the sound of an arrow being fired from a bow and hurtling through the air.

  With absolutely no warning, acting purely on instinct, I grabbed the startled Nuskin and threw my body around her protectively. I have no idea why I did that. What I should have done was immediately sprint from the area as fast as my lame leg would allow me to move. Instead, as if I were a damned hero, I sought to shelter the startled Nuskin, who gasped in confusion against my chest.

  I spun to see what was happening behind us and my eyes widened in shock. Ahmway was staggering, trying desperately to reach around behind his back. There was no hint of pain on his face, but rather just pure determination to get his hand around there. Then the blood drained from his cheeks as he stumbled forward, at which point I could see what was clearly lodged there: a still quivering arrow. Ahmway was clearly not dead because he was still trying to reach the weapon, but he wasn’t even coming close to it. Instead his fingers were grasping at the open air.

  At that moment Nuskin let out a startled cry. Something yanked her out from my arms. I turned and saw that two men had grabbed her. Everything was happening far too quickly. What I should have done was allow them to take her. I had only met her minutes earlier and had not had the time to develop any sort of emotional investment in her. But instead I actually began to reach around to my back to extract my sword from its sheath.

  Before I could do so, though, something was dropped over my head. It was a canvas bag, obscuring my vision. I released my hold on my sword and tried to yank the bag off my head, and then something struck me. It might have been a fist or perhaps some manner of bludgeon. All I knew was that I totally lost my balance—a delicate thing even under the best of circumstances—and tumbled to the ground.

  “Kill him!” I heard a voice growl from nearby.

  “No, bring him along,” came a response.

  Nuskin cried out my name and I lurched forward on my hands and knees, trying to put some distance between my attackers and myself. In this endeavor, I failed utterly. There was a second blow to my head and this one did far more damage. The world changed to black around me and for the second time in roughly two days I slid into unconsciousness.

  Chapter 6 Really Big Shew

  This time I was not allowed to wake up on my own. Instead I was jolted from my slumber by a sharp boot in the gut. I gurgled and sat up, automatically reaching for the sword that was customarily strapped to my back. But it was not there.

  The bag had been removed from my head so that I could see where I was. I was in some small building somewhere. It was likely someone’s home, but I had no idea whose. The room that I was in was very sparse, with scarcely any furniture visible. The floor was dirt, which was hardly atypical.

  The room was quite full, however. There had to be at last ten people in there, all dressed quite simply, and several of them visibly wearing that same necklace that Rebeka had been sporting. So I was in a room with a group of Shews. I had no idea what they wanted of me, and I certainly wanted nothing from them. The fact of the matter was that I was on their side, but they had no way of knowing that and I wasn’t sure that they would believe me.

  Nuskin was on the other side of the room. She was on her knees and there was a man standing behind her with a blade to her neck. I quickly realized that the blade was mine, and that offended me somewhat. I had never in my life used the blade to kill a woman or even threaten one, and very much disliked seeing it put to such use now. But I was hardly in a position to do anything about it.

  “You awake?” said the man who was holding my sword, and then said “Good�
�� without giving me the opportunity to respond. “What are you to this woman?”

  “He is nothing to me,” said Nuskin. Much to my surprise, she did not sound the least bit frightened or concerned. It was as if she had foreknowledge that she would be able to get out of this situation intact. “I met him perhaps five minutes before you grabbed me. He has nothing to do with this, whatever this is. You might as well free him now.”

  “So that he can return to the Rama and tell him exactly where you are? I think not.”

  “I have no idea where I am,” I pointed out. “You stuck a bag over my head before bringing me here. So I would actually be the worst person to provide any sort of rescue. I’m assuming that’s what you’re concerned about. Rescue.”

  “I am not,” said one man. He was the tallest man in the room, the oldest and most broadly built. His upper body was bare and I could see scars from lash beatings all over his chest. I assume his back was likewise decorated. He was glaring at Nuskin and then said, “I do not understand why she is still alive. What is the point in not simply cutting off her head and sending it back to the Rama?”

  I definitely was not thrilled by his point of view.

  “Because that is not the plan, Simon,” said the swordsman. “That was never the plan. We all know that the Rama is still fond of this woman. We are to use her as a bargaining chip.”

  “You are a fool,” said the one who had been addressed as Simon. His glance took in the entirety of the room. “You are all fools. You truly believe that the Rama will somehow be convinced to change the laws of Rogypt. That he will stop killing our first-born. You do not know him at all. The only thing that will convince him is threats, not bargaining. And he will not respond to threats unless he knows that they are genuine. The way to make certain that he is aware of our sincerity is by sending the head of his beloved nurse back to him.” He took a step toward Nuskin and snarled at her, “Are you prepared to die, woman?”

  Nuskin simply stared at him. “Always,” she said calmly. “Do what you feel you need to do.”

  “Wait,” I said. “Are you really just going to kill a helpless woman?”

  “And her friend,” said Simon meaningfully.

  “But why—?”

  “Because,” and Simon’s voice rose, “the laws killed my grandson! One of the Rama’s barbarian guards cut him down with his sword! This madness must end!”

  Suddenly the timing of this was starting to make sense. “Was the child’s mother named Rebeka?”

  My response was startled silence. The swordsman managed to nod slowly and Simon approached me. I couldn’t help but notice the formidable dagger that was attached to his hip. His hand was hovering near it as if he were prepared to extract it and use it imminently. “Yes,” he said with a rumble to his voice. “How did you know that?”

  “I was there. And the guard who was with me when you took me…someone put an arrow in his back. He’s likely dead, so if you’re seeking vengeance, then that has been attended to.”

  “Get Rebeka here!” ordered Simon. He didn’t address the command to anyone in particular, but it prompted three men to flee the tent immediately, presumably to fulfill it. “What is your name?”

  “Apropos.”

  He didn’t react to it at all, other than to nod slightly. “And what are you doing in our country?”

  “I was just passing through. But I seem to have been caught up in local events.”

  “Indeed.” He was now standing face to face with me and his breath washed over me. There was alcohol on it. I had no idea whether it was clouding his judgment or not, but there was certainly quite a bit of it. If I had been able to light a flame near his face, he likely would have been immolated. “And how did you come to be in the company of the man who killed my grandson? Was he a friend of yours?”

  The wrong answer would likely have gotten me gutted right then. “More of an acquaintance,” I assured him. “He was assigned to protect me by the Rama.” I glanced around. “Didn’t do a particularly good job of it, obviously.”

  “Are you endeavoring to be amusing?”

  “Not endeavoring. It just comes and goes.”

  There was motion at the doorway and moments later Rebeka entered. Her eyes rested upon me and widened. Oh yes, she definitely remembered me. “It’s you,” she said and then turned to the swordsman and said, “Tommen, it’s him. The man I told you about. The man responsible for our son’s death.”

  Immediately the dagger was in Simon’s hand. Clearly he was prepared to slice me from crotch to sternum right then. I put up my hands quickly and said, “Whoa, whoa. All I was responsible for was trying to stop a woman preparing to drown her child! I had no idea that she had some sort of involved plan about sending it floating down the river to some royals!”

  This was clearly news to everyone else in the room. All eyes shifted to Rebeka. “What?” said Tommen. There was a slight stammer to his voice. “What is he talking about?”

  “I…I don’t know,” Rebeka said quickly, trying to cover for herself and not doing a particularly good job of it. Clearly she had not told her husband or the grandfather—whether he was her father or her husband’s, I could not tell—the full truth of what had transpired. “I have no idea…”

  “Yes, you do.” It was Nuskin who had spoken. “The princess, some handmaidens and I were bathing in the river the other day. I heard some manner of scuffle going on up around the river bend, but I did not investigate.” Her voice was firm and full of conviction. “You were going to float your son down the river in hopes that she would become enamored of him and bring him back to the palace. That was your plan, was it not?”

  Rebeka was rapidly shaking her head, but as she did so tears poured down her face. She was not exactly the most convincing of liars. “I don’t know what she is…” Then her voice trailed off as she was unable to finish the fabrication.

  Tommen had allowed the sword to slide off Nuskin’s throat as he was so distracted by his wife’s sobbing. Nuskin, who had been kneeling, slowly got to her feet. There was nothing but sympathy on her face. “It might well have worked,” she said. “You did nothing wrong except to attempt to save your son. It is commendable that you at least tried.”

  Simon spun and faced her, his expression twisted in anger. “What do you know or care? What interest do you have in the fate of the Shews? As far as you are concerned, they can continue to slaughter our newborn sons until the end of time!”

  I saw the opportunity to make my move at that point. “You’re thinking too small,” I said. “Dreaming of managing to end the law about your children being slaughtered. Even if you manage to accomplish it, what kind of lives are you preserving for them? They grow up to become slaves? To build monuments to the people who want to enslave you? What kind of lives are you fighting for them to maintain?”

  “What would you have us do?” demanded Simon. He did not seem especially impressed by my argument. “We are slaves. There is no changing that.”

  “Yes, there is. You can demand that the Rama release you.”

  The men exchanged looks for a moment and then, to my surprise, there was a roar of laughter. I considered that odd since I had not been attempting to make any sort of jest. When they had managed to compose themselves, one of them said, “It’s ridiculous. The army of the Rama far outnumbers us. Plus they are trained fighters. If we attempt to rise up against them, they will slaughter us. No one can free us.”

  “I can,” I said firmly.

  Their expressions were incredulous. “You?” another of them said, and then Simon spoke up. “You are a fool.”

  “I don’t dispute that,” I said. “Nevertheless, it is up to me to free you. And I’m telling you that if you do anything to this woman, you will be crippling my ability to accomplish that.”

  “And what in the world makes you think,” said Simon, “that you can possibly free us?”

  A dozen possible lies crossed my mind, because the truth seemed simply too ridiculous. What was I s
upposed to tell them? That a piece of ignited shrubbery had given me the instructions to free the Shews because I had been inadvertently responsible for the death of their actual savior? Certainly I could come up with something better than that.

  Yet I paused. I didn’t doubt that I could manage to carry off some manner of fabrication. In my several decades of life I had become exceptionally skilled at lies. I was possibly the most easily disingenuous person who was walking the surface of the planet. And yet something caused me to hesitate.

  “Well?” Simon said challengingly.

  My hesitation fell away and I looked him full in the eyes. “God told me to,” I said.

  Simon stared at me incredulously and several of them began to laugh. I didn’t tolerate it. Instead I turned a harsh gaze on them and said sharply, “Do you find your god’s words to be amusing? His chosen messiah to be someone that you would laugh at? I wonder how He would feel about that?”

  My tone immediately shut them down. Even Tommen seemed surprised. Simon, however, was hardly deterred. “And in what form did the holy of holies appear to you?”

  “A burning bush,” I said. I felt awkward in saying so because I was speaking the truth, and doing so was an unaccustomed habit for me. “A burning bush in the desert. He told me,” and I paused a moment before continuing, “that I had to do it because I was accidentally responsible for the actual messiah being slaughtered. That would be your child,” and I nodded toward Rebeka. “Again, I am sorry for that. It was certainly not intentional, and had I known what you were attempting to do, it never would have occurred to me.”

  “I still want to know what put that idea in your head,” growled Tommen.

  Rebeka had not lowered her gaze. Instead it was fixed on me and there was clear astonishment in her voice. “God did,” she whispered.

  “Oh for—!” Simon began to say.

  “No,” and her voice became harder, firmer. She was speaking with such conviction that even Simon was silenced. She was still staring fixedly at me. “God came to me in my dreams, while I was pregnant. He told me that it was going to be a boy and he was a child of destiny. He was the one who told me when and where to go after he was born, to the place where she,” and she nodded toward Nuskin, “would be. Unfortunately He told me nothing of Apropos being there or what he would do.”