Promise Me Heaven (Reapers MC: Ellsberg Chapter Book 3)

by Bijou Hunter

  Then I clean myself up and thank God for giving me Rae and Kori. I swear I won’t fall into the trap of believing fantasies again.

  But then I meet a man who shows even the slightest bit of interest in me, and I hope.

  Like with Colton Johansson. When he smiled at me, I felt like I had worth, and I like feeling that way. I’ll see him tomorrow, and he’ll smile again because I bet he smiles often. Those little gestures will mean too much to me, and I’ll build a fantasy where he sees something in me that no one else does and he’ll love me like no one else can. Colt will give me everything because I have nothing. I’m an empty vessel waiting to be filled, and his approval will make me smart, beautiful, special.

  And I’ll never be lonely again.

  Except eventually, Colt will bore of me. Everyone always does. I often think Rae would leave me if she didn’t need my rent. It’s difficult to tell how much she tolerates and how much she genuinely craves. Like when I hug her, does she want to hug me back or does she feel as if she has no choice? Rae puts up with people taking from her, and I always worry I’m just another person asking her to give.

  Kori grows less attached to me every year. When she was little, I was her second mommy, and she loved me. Now she wants to go to school where she can pretend to be normal. I don’t provide enough, and she’s gotten to an age where she realizes how much I fail. I can’t find good jobs. I never get promoted. I struggle when other people flourish. Sooner or later, Kori will realize what everyone else does about me.

  I’m a burden, and their lives are better off without me.

  Colt will figure that out too. Maybe right away or maybe it’ll take a little longer, but he’ll cut me loose and do his best to avoid me despite us living in a small town.

  Even knowing how it’ll end, I can’t help hoping he’ll be my Prince Charming—a man so incredible that I’ll gain worth by merely pleasing him.

  Today was the beginning of a fantasy I already crave. I still feel warm hours after I last saw him. He is the sun, and I’m in his orbit. Life can get better because of him.

  THE CHAPTER WHERE THE HEIR UNLEASHES HIS CHARM

  THE HEIR

  I start my day with a healthy breakfast thanks to my mom who spends her summers helping everyone carbo-load. I eat two waffles and a pound of bacon before MJ and two-year-old Thisbe arrive to steal what’s left of the meat on the table. My sister doesn’t even look at me as she shoves food into lunch bags.

  “You’re taking too much,” I mutter, just to get her attention.

  Thisbe stands on a chair, holding open a bag. Blonde hair pulled away from her tanned face, she looks at me and smiles. “Colt 45!” my niece screams just like I taught her.

  “Why does she have to yell?” Mom asks.

  “Colt needs a hearing aid,” MJ answers for me. “He lost his hearing after too much time making women scream.”

  Smiling at MJ’s answer, I wink at my mother. “She isn’t wrong.”

  “Where are you going today?” Mom asks me while MJ zips the bags.

  “I plan to drop by the motel to see Stella and her friend.”

  “Have you spoken to her since yesterday?”

  “I texted her last night to check on her. She has a room now and isn’t sleeping in her car.”

  MJ stops fiddling with her food long enough to hand me one of the empty bags. “Stock up on food for your woman.”

  “What’s she going to do with all this bacon?” I ask.

  “Eat it,” MJ says and shoves her bags of food into a small backpack. “I’m going fishing with Quaid and Thisbe,” she tells Mom. “We’ll be back for a late lunch.”

  “I live to serve.”

  MJ hugs Mom and smiles wide. “I’ll cook a romantic dinner for you and Pop. Something with asparagus.”

  “Is that romantic?”

  “I read it was, and the internet never lies,” MJ says and helps Thisbe off the chair. “Be good, family.”

  Thisbe waves at her grandma and then points a finger gun at me—just like I taught her. The kid is a weirdo like her mother, but she’s very trainable.

  Once my sister and niece are gone, I wash the dishes while Mom watches me.

  “Girls like Stella are a handful,” she says.

  “Gram said the same about you.”

  “Oh, really?” she mutters and splashes me with water. “I don’t remember being a pain in the ass.”

  “Neither do I, but apparently, people say that shit about me too.”

  Mom pats my cheek. “Be gentle with this girl,” she says and then adds quickly, “But don’t be a pussy.”

  “Mother, your language.”

  “Don’t let her take advantage of your sweet nature.”

  “Not a problem. The way Stella and I met gives me a solid insight into her inner good girl, bad girl situation.” Mom gives me an “I need a translator” expression, making me grin. “She was wailing on a sexy Harley which was a full-on psycho bitch move. She then showed me her softer side when we talked. I saw a lot of Stella in a short amount of time, so I’m aware she’s got a temper.”

  “You’re a smart boy,” she says and hugs me tightly. “My sweet son.”

  Years ago, I overheard Mom tell Aunt Tawny that one of her biggest fears was that I’d fall in love with an evil woman.

  “I don’t think I can pretend to like a bitch,” she said in between glasses of wine and—for some odd lady reason—Swiss cheese sandwiches.

  “Then don’t pretend,” Tawny replied in a slightly slurred voice. “If he loves a bitch, make him own it.”

  “That’s easy for you to say now that you’ve got a sweet daughter-in-law.”

  “Yeah, but my son-in-law is dumber than a box of rocks.”

  “Jox is dumb, but he’s obedient. No cheating. No abuse. He takes care of his kids.”

  “Fine,” Tawny said and sighed. “I got lucky twice. You got lucky three times, but you’re freaking out about someone he hasn’t even met.”

  “True. I did get lucky more than you.”

  The sisters then launched into a mini wrestling match on the couch that Pop and Uncle Judd would have killed to witness.

  Today, Mom stares into my eyes with her dark ones and begs me not to fall for an evil woman. I look right back at her and promise nothing. I mean, I’m going to love whoever I love. While I’d prefer to fall for a great lady, I might end up loving a train wreck. Lily fell for a loser named Dash Mullen, and there’s no shaking her belief that he’s the cat’s meow. She’s actually used that term to describe him too. I still remember how we all pointed and laughed at her for that, but she loves who she loves. I imagine I’ll be the same way.

  Stella might never let me get to first base, and we might hate each other after a single real conversation. Or she might give me the heebie-jeebies feeling like she did yesterday. I felt her on my skin long after she was out of sight. I swear if Stella can get me that worked up with barely a touch then I can’t fucking wait to see what happens when she unleashes her full lady charms on me.

  After doubling up on the deodorant to combat the heat, I drive my cherry red hog down the dirt road from my house to the main highway that’ll take me straight through Ellsberg and out to the shithole motel. I pull a few muscles with all the head nodding I’m forced to do to acknowledge half the town. There’s a club brother. There’s a girl I sat next to in Biology class. There’s a teacher at Mom’s school. There’s a kid I bitch-slapped in seventh grade. There’s Pop and Uncle Tucker arguing about either the Rod situation or which of them has a bigger wang.

  Finally, I arrive at the motel and park in front of room 8 where Stella said she’s staying. I expect her to be waiting outside for me despite the painful heat.

  Instead, the room’s curtains are closed. As I climb off my bike and head to the still shut door, I imagine Stella inside fixing her hair and ensuring she’s picture perfect for me.

  I knock and wait for nearly a minute before it opens. My first impression is I’m reasonably f
ucking sure that Stella’s been crying recently. She sports angry red blotches under her light brown eyes in the same way my mom does after a sad movie.

  Oddly, Stella gasps at the sight of me despite having known I was on the other side of the door.

  My confidence admittedly takes a hit at the sight of her. I expected a happy chick waiting for me yet find Stella looking like death warmed over. I guess a hundred dollars alone can’t fix what’s broken with this hottie.

  “Are you busy?” I ask, sounding nervous. I swallow my silly bullshit feelings and toughen up my voice. “Can we talk?”

  Stella says nothing, staring at me for what feels like an eternity. Then her smile turns on, and she leaves the room.

  “Is your friend around?” I ask because I’m stumped by her shell-shocked expression. I don’t know how to charm someone who looks as if her dog just died.

  Smile gone, Stella glances into the room. She steps back and nods. I instinctively follow her inside the tiny room. Sitting against the wall on the full-sized bed, Rae and her kid glance up at me in unison. There’s no denying they look alike. Same pale red hair color, same blue eyes, same “who farted?” stare—mom and daughter clearly won’t be joining my fan club.

  “Colt, this is Rae and Kori. This is the man who got us the room,” she says because I suspect she thinks their sullen expressions are ruining my groove. She isn’t wrong.

  “Thank you,” Rae says, and Kori nods.

  Stella bites her bottom lip so hard she draws blood, and I instinctively reach out to wipe the drop away.

  My thumb against her flesh is enough to stop the world. I wish I knew everything about Stella right this fucking moment. I don’t want to waste time. I need her to become a part of me, and then we’ll become two halves of the same person—Coltla or Stelton. That last one sounds better. Almost like a Stetson and cowboy hats are badass—on other people—and I think I’ll be badass with Stella attached to me. That’s it. Nothing else to discuss.

  Oh, except I don’t know shit about her. Stella might be a con artist who lures horny men like me into her web with a mixture of violence against Harleys and sad expressions.

  “Are you here for your money?” Rae asks, breaking the moment between Stella and me.

  “It’s been less than a day, so, no.”

  “Oh, good,” Rae says and then adds in a nifty robot voice, “Thank you.”

  “No problem,” I mutter, wanting to be alone with Stella but uncertain how to remove her from this room without being obvious. Clearly carrying her out over my shoulder isn’t an option. “My father wants to talk to you.”

  “Why?” a panicked Stella asks, looking at Rae who doesn’t seem panicked at all.

  “We need to know how to handle the thing we discussed yesterday, and he wants to hear from the person most affected,” I say, doing my best diplomatic speak.

  “What?” Kori asks her mom.

  “He wants to know about that pervert who stole our money.”

  The kid doesn’t pull a robot impression, snarling instead like a baby cub desperate to practice killing. It’s a cute look, but I don’t smile.

  “Yeah, I went to bat for you,” I say, hoping they get the pun, but Stella looks too nervous to enjoy my humor. “My pop needs to be fair, though, so he plans to get both sides before he dishes out punishment.”

  “Punishment?” Stella asks, again looking at Rae for comfort. “Like for my messing up the motorcycle?”

  Thrown off by her reaction, I mumble, “No, baby, why would anyone expect that?”

  Stella shrugs awkwardly and shrinks a little in front of me. Mom does the same thing when she gets overwhelmed and wants to disappear.

  “Let’s say my pop decides your word isn’t as good as our club brother’s, then he just doesn’t pound on Rod. No one’s coming after you. It’ll just be one of those funny stories where Rod pissed off a chick and got his hog hammered for it.”

  Stella swallows hard, looks like she needs a nap, and then nods. “Oh, okay.”

  I don’t know how to change the mood in the room. Women usually love me, and I’m a charming fucking guy, but these three chicks watch me as if I’m the honest-to-goodness Grim Reaper here to steal their souls. My only lifeline is a hint of a smile on Stella’s face whenever she thinks I’m not looking at her.

  Yeah, that’s a thread I plan to tug until I’m snugly in her heart.

  THE UNWANTED

  I quickly screw up my morning. In my rush to hide every flaw on my face with makeup, I end up looking like a clown. I wash it off, leaving me blotchy. This is what Colt will see, and I’m sure he’ll go running. I end up in tears, making my face redder and blotchier. By the time Colt arrives, I’m depressed because I’ve made everything worse as usual.

  Of course, he looks better than I remember. I actually gasp at how handsome he is in person as compared to what I dreamed in my head. He’s taller, his shoulders are broader, and his eyes shine brighter.

  I wish I could have a do-over where I look my best and don’t stumble over my words. All my life, I’ve choked at critical times—on tests, when I had a chance to talk to my grandparents, and now with Colt.

  “Do you want to see the pool?” I ask like a dummy, but I get the feeling Colt isn’t comfortable with us all staring at him. Rae especially looks irritated since she knows I spent the entire morning worrying over a man who won’t remember my name in a few months. Kori just doesn’t like men in our room, and I know she thinks tattoos are for losers. The kid has very strong opinions about a whole lot of things, and she gives Colt her meanest glare.

  “Pools are cool,” he says. His words are dumb, yet I still think they sound, well, cool.

  Leaving Rae and Kori to their book, I’m relieved to be out of the stuffy room even if the heat immediately nauseates me. Before speaking, Colt waits until I shut the door behind us.

  “I’m not the bad guy,” he says, sounding like a little boy in the body of a giant man.

  “I know.”

  “Do you? It’s just you were all looking at me like you thought I was going to rob you.”

  “Rae doesn’t like men. Kori doesn’t like anyone.”

  “And you?”

  I don’t answer because the words in my head sound wrong. When Colt’s frown darkens, I finally stammer, “We liked sleeping in a bed again. That was because of you, and I don’t think a bad guy would help us.”

  Colt exhales hard, and I think maybe he doesn’t want to seem bothered. His face goes through a few expressions before he shrugs. “Whatever happens with my pop and Rod, I believe you.”

  “Thank you,” I say and add quickly, “And I will pay you back.”

  Colt suddenly smiles, and his entire stance is like a big kid now. “Did you really want to show me the pool or did you just want to get me alone?”

  Grinning, I instinctively cover my mouth. Yesterday, I was too stunned by how I let my temper get away from me that I never considered how I looked. I’m no longer so oblivious.

  “I don’t want to show you the pool, but there’s nothing else to look at here.”

  “Want to go for a ride?” he asks, gesturing to his red Harley.

  “Okay,” I say before thinking I don’t sound excited enough and adding, “Yes.”

  “You haven’t lived in Ellsberg long, have you?”

  “Less than a month.”

  “It’s a nice place,” he says and climbs on the motorcycle. “It might not seem that way after what happened with Rod, but it’s a good town. I’ll show you around. We can get something to eat and talk too. Then you can stop looking as if you want to run away.”

  “I don’t want to run.”

  Colt’s handsome face warms with an electric smile. “You’ll need to wrap yourself snugly around me, so you don’t fall off.”

  Despite smiling at his comment, I probably will fall off. In fact, I can’t even figure out how to climb behind him without gripping his white T-shirt. Colt lets me fumble for nearly a minute before he take
s charge and hooks me under the arm to swing me onto the motorcycle.

  “Not so hard, right?” he asks, flashing his impossibly gorgeous smile.

  I wish I could freeze the world in this moment. Just live off the way I feel with my arms wrapped around his hard, lean stomach. The smell of his hot flesh comforts me, and my heart no longer hurts when he looks at me with his fearless brown eyes. I’m an extension of someone better, and I get a taste of what being him feels like.

  It’s addictive.

  I try to remain rational, but I’m not that kind of woman. I always overreact to the slightest bit of affection or attention. Even the worst people can make me hope, and Colt is vastly better than anyone I’ve ever known. How can I be rational in his presence?

  The Harley roars to life like a lion, continuing to purr under me as Colt shows off Ellsberg. I don’t look at the scenery, though. I rest my cheek against his sweaty back and close my eyes. Soaking in his beauty and strength, I relish every second with him. Soon, it’ll be over, and I don’t know if I’ll ever recover. It’s like when I lived with the Wilson family and felt what it was like to have people really care about me. Then they were gone, just like Colt will be.

  I’ll be smarter with him. Embrace every second. Memorize every look he gives me, every smile, every tender touch. That way, when it ends, I’ll hold onto something exceptional even if it’s only memories.

  We eventually stop in a parking lot in a part of Ellsberg I’ve never seen before. I hate letting go of Colt, but holding onto him any longer would be weird, and I already made a pathetic impression earlier.

  I slide off the motorcycle and struggle to regain my footing. My legs act like silly string under me. I run my hands through my hair, hoping to fix what the ride likely made worse. My hair has two modes—wavy perfection or lumpy mess. I don’t have to guess which way it looks now, but I hope my finger-combs will calm the mayhem.