“Uh oh, I sense the sudden serious tone.” Matty leaned back in his high-back chair. “What is it?”
Jack summarized the quick version of how he met Vivi leading to how their short-lived affair fell apart. “I thought I was encouraging her to try something she’d loved, but it backfired. I screwed up. Where did I go wrong?”
Matty made a sound of acknowledgment. “Ah, there are a lot of emotions at play, Jack. I’m not a shrink—and I don’t play one on TV,” he added in with his characteristic playful tone. “But I did pay attention to a few things during my recovery.” He sounded more serious and drummed his fingers on the table. “She’s learning to live with these new limitations. In a way, it feels like your body has betrayed you.” Matty shook his head and exhaled. “The adjustment is probably harder on the ego than on the body.”
As Matty continued, Jack considered his words. He ran his hand over his jaw. Despite his cousin’s lighthearted persona, Matty sometimes revealed a more serious side, a deeper one than people would expect if they didn’t look beyond the jokes. The incident with the IED that had killed his K9 and wounded him had likely instigated that, forcing him to grow up in a flash.
Their server returned with their drinks. Matty took a sip of his beer.
Jack ran his hand over the condensation of the glass. “So what do I do?”
“Follow her lead. Be supportive in a way that seems right to her. Not to you.” Matty motioned at Jack. “You have that big brother thing like Angelo, always trying to take care of people. Some people don’t want to be taken care of.”
Right. That was what Carrie had pointed out. Jack thought he knew what was best for people and didn’t understand when they pushed back.
“Good advice. Thanks, man.” Jack took a sip of his cold beer, and the tang lingered on his tongue.
“If it works out with Vivi, bring her down to Newport. The four of us can go out and do something together.”
“I like your optimism, Matty.” Jack grunted. “First, I need to see if she even wants to talk to me again.”
Jack spent the next day ruminating while he helped his mother with some small home repairs.
As the inkling of a plan took shape, he smiled with satisfaction. He knew one place where he could find her, and he had a contact on the inside.
Jack called Ryan at the cat shelter. After a quick intro, Jack admitted, “I screwed up with Vivi.”
“What happened?” Ryan replied.
“I pushed her to try rock climbing again. It didn’t turn out like I’d hoped. She got frustrated and left. Told me to leave her alone.”
“Ah, I can see that. She doesn’t like being pushed.”
“I want to make it up to her somehow. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” Jack tapped a pen on the table. “When is her next shift?”
Chapter 12
Vivi
Vivi grabbed a pet brush and rubbed the cat hair off a tiered climbing structure with vigor. She’d just finished scooping some litter boxes, but the scent of freshly turned litter lingered and she scrunched her nose.
“What’s going on, Vivi?” Ryan asked as he stepped into the main area with a half-empty water bowl for the cats who liked to visit the office. “It’s Wednesday, not your scheduled shift. You’re practically living here this week.”
Ah, he caught that. She’d been coming in more frequently this week, seeking distractions to avoid going home to her apartment—alone.
“Oh, you know. School’s stressing me out and all,” she replied with a casual wave. “This is where I can decompress from life.”
“School, eh?” He raised a doubtful brow before stepping into the gated enclosure with the cleaning supplies.
A flash of when Jack had stepped in there with her when she’d given him a tour returned. She’d backed into his chest. His broad, muscular chest that she’d loved to trail her fingers over, dipping into the crevices down his cut abs…
She shoved that image aside and resumed brushing away the fur with more force than necessary. “Sure. Spending a couple of hours with cats is better than meditating. Not as boring either.”
Ryan turned on the faucet and filled the bowl. “You sure it has nothing to do with Jack?”
She paused and ground her teeth at hearing his name. Ryan had called her out, seeing through her flimsy excuses.
It didn’t help her goal of distraction. It was already difficult enough to ignore all the visual cues that reminded her of the times she’d spent with Jack at the shelter. The near kiss here inside, the actual kiss outside, and that cat, Stella, sauntering about. She reminded Vivi of how adorable he’d looked when he kneeled down and let her crawl all over his lap, rubbing her chin and making her purr with pleasure.
He’d damn well made Vivi purr with pleasure, too.
She exhaled with a sigh. “Not sure what you’re talking about, Ryan. I barely know the guy.”
Ryan coughed while uttering, “Bullshit.” His sandy-brown hair, longer in the front, fell over his face, and he brushed it back.
“It’s true,” she protested and resumed brushing at cat hair. “I mean, how can I really know someone I only ran into just over two weeks ago?”
Ryan stepped out of the cleaning area with the bowl of fresh water. “And spent plenty of time with since then. With how close you seemed to be, I’d have sworn you were a couple.”
“Well, whatever it was we were doing, it’s over now.” She pulled a clump of fur off the brush and tossed it into a covered trash pail.
Ryan put the bowl of water down on a nearby table and pointed to his chest. “Tell Daddy all about it.”
She reached for a nearby rag and tossed it at him. “I’m not going to call you that.”
He caught the rag and put it beside the water bowl. “Vivi, stop stalling. Spill.”
“Ugh, what do you want me to say? That I’m screwed up?” She threw her hands in the air.
“Screwed up, no.” Ryan shook his head. “Too proud, yes.” He gave her a single nod with a knowing glance.
She pursed her lips and turned away. It was an accurate assessment, one of her many faults, and she didn’t appreciate the reminder. “I can’t help that. It’s the way I am.”
“Pride is overrated. I don’t think taking it down a notch is going to kill you,” Ryan pointed out. “Especially if it helps you be happy.”
During that short time with Jack, she was happy. They were happy. Until she’d let her hang-ups interfere.
While she assessed his words, Ryan added, “I’d never seen you light up like that, the way you did when you were around Jack. I dare say you had a pep in your step.”
“That’s the limp.” She gave him a deadpan look.
He took two steps closer and squeezed her shoulder. “It was a peppy limp.”
“It doesn’t matter now,” she replied with a dismissive wave. “He has a great job offer in DC. He should move there and find someone who can do all the things that make him happy.”
“Like what?”
Vivi crossed her arms. “You are quite nosy, aren’t you?”
“Of course.” Ryan’s wide grin turned Cheshire-like. “This is the first glimpse I’ve had with any part of your love life. Damn straight, I’m going to poke the bear until I get all the juicy details.” He poked her upper arm twice, stepping back in between like a boxer light on his feet.
She brushed her hand away and tried not to laugh, but failed. “All right, fine.” She plopped down on a red velvet loveseat that an old woman had donated, which the cats loved as evidenced by the fur Vivi often brushed. “So when we were stationed in Okinawa, we’d meet up at a rock climbing gym. I hadn’t tried it since I’d been injured. He convinced me to go and give it a try.”
Stella strolled over and jumped on the loveseat, curling up next to Vivi. It figured. Who would stroll over next to remind Vivi of what she’d lost? She stroked Stella’s back, soft fur brushing her finger tips. Stella nudged Vivi’s hand, so she rubbed her head and cheeks the
way that Jack had done, giving her the affection she’d craved. Stella purred in appreciation.
Ryan leaned against the gated enclosure and prodded, “And?”
“It didn’t go so well. My leg acted up.” Vivi kept her hands busy with being attentive to Stella. “Figures it rained later that night. When I faced all those imposing walls, it felt like they were closing in on me. I freaked out and left. I used to look forward to that challenge, pushing myself with more difficult climbs. Now I don’t even know if I could even support myself on the easiest bouldering wall that even little kids can whip across.”
“Have you talked to him since?” Ryan asked.
“He’s called, but I told him it wouldn’t work between us. He’s athletic and is better off finding someone better suited to his lifestyle. And he can pursue job opportunities wherever he likes.” She gestured with a wide wave.
Ryan shook his head, clucking his tongue. “You are a stubborn fool, my dear.”
“You don’t know what it was like.” Vivi squirmed in the loveseat. “I don’t want people staring at me with pity when I’m struggling to do something that used to be so easy.”
He pointed at her. “Ah, you and your pride again…”
She scowled. “I don’t like feeling vulnerable like that.”
“Let me get this straight.” Ryan stepped away from the gate and stroked his beard while he paced before her. “This guy takes you out to do something you like to do—and because you got frustrated, you dumped his sorry ass?”
Coming from Ryan, it did make her sound rather petty.
“You’re simplifying it. It’s part of a bigger picture, Ryan. This is only one thing.” She raised her index finger. “What about the job offer? He doesn’t need to consider someone he’s only been with for a blip of time as a factor when choosing his best options.”
Ryan cocked his head and fixed a pointed stare on her. “Isn’t he able to decide for himself?”
“Of course, but what about all the other things he wants to try?” She could hear the defensiveness in her tone. “He’s super active and outdoorsy. I’m not able to do any of that anymore. At least, not in the same way.”
“Enough with the pity party, sunshine.” He wagged his finger. “You were once a bad ass, and you’ll always be a bad ass.” Ryan’s expression turned sassy.
Her nostrils flared. She gave a frustrated wave. “What are you saying, Ryan? That I should go and make a fool out of myself in front of an audience? Maybe give them a front row seat to an anxiety attack.”
He shrugged. “A fool who takes chances may lead a richer life than a queen with too much pride, sitting on her throne and watching the world go by.”
She snorted. “Where did you get that from—a fortune cookie?”
“Maybe. It’s true, though.”
She blinked slowly, considering his words. Could Ryan be right? Was she letting her pride get in the way?
Yes.
The truth seeped in through a crack in her thick, stubborn skull.
She straightened her spine and met Ryan’s gaze. “You’re right. It’s time for me to woman up.”
She couldn’t spend the rest of her days brooding about things she couldn’t change. What was the point of dwelling on it? She’d felt sorry for herself long enough, and guilty about—too much. She owed it to those who didn’t make it home to live her life. She’d been knocked down, but she was a fighter, and it was time to step back into the ring.
Or in this case, the rock climbing arena.
Ryan replied with a proud nod. “What do you plan to do?”
Her heartbeat ticked up a notch. “Stop hiding from my fears and face them. Learn to adjust to my life now and not compare it to the past.”
“That’s a great plan, Vivi.” He grinned. “I’m rooting for you.”
She took a deep breath as she pictured the next step. It might be tough, it might be frustrating, but she wouldn’t know without trying. It was time to move beyond the comforting confines of the cat shelter, surrounded only by her furry, four-legged friends.
Too much damn pride had kept her from accepting she could still do the things she enjoyed. She just had to modify them.
“I’m rooting for you, cupcake,” Ryan said.
Vivi smirked, remembering their earlier exchange. “You’re the only one who gets to call me that.”
She left the cat shelter twenty minutes later, resolved to move on—even if it meant pushing herself ahead one uneven step at a time.
Jack
After breakfast on Thursday morning, Jack stopped by a florist to pick up some flowers. He’d confirmed Vivi’s next shift with Ryan. Jack meandered around the store, surrounding by the various floral scents.
White roses, that was perfect—a sign of his humility and surrender.
When he arrived at the cat shelter, he searched for her, ready to offer up the roses in surrender.
No sign of her in the main area or outside. Stella, the black cat, sauntered up to him, rubbing against his leg.
“Do you remember me, sweet girl?” He kneeled and rubbed her chin. Once she had a little affection, she rubbed against him for more. He grinned to himself. At least someone appreciated his efforts.
He walked into the office and greeted Ryan, who sat before the computer on his desk.
“Are those for me?” Ryan teased and reached for them. “You shouldn’t have, but I’m glad you did.”
Jack pulled them back. “Where’s Vivi? I thought you said she’d be here.”
Ryan exhaled and slumped his shoulders. “She called and said she’d be in later this morning. She didn’t say why.”
Jack lowered the flowers, buds down. Damn, he was such an idiot, standing there like a fool.
Ryan motioned to a worn brown chair opposite his desk. “Feel free to hang out and wait. Or wander around.”
With all the tension that had built up inside Jack on anticipating seeing Vivi soon, he wouldn’t be able to sit still. He glanced at a stack of adoption papers on Ryan’s desk.
“What do you need from someone who wants to adopt a cat?” While he was here, he might as well make the most of it. He was moving forward with his new life as a civilian, but he liked the idea of a companion in the uncertainty ahead.
Ryan’s eyes sparkled. “Are you interested? Or you know someone?”
Jack shrugged. “Stella and I seem to be hitting it off.”
“She has quite the personality. Difficult to resist her charms.”
The knowing lilt in Ryan’s tone made Jack wonder if he was talking purely about Stella.
He furrowed his brows. “What do you need?”
Ryan leaned back in his desk chair. “We need to make sure it’s a suitable match. Things we check on include the living situation. If you rent, we’ll need confirmation that the landlord is okay with cats. We check with references to ensure you’re a good candidate. If you’ve had cats in the past, we’ll want to see some health records or check with the vet to see if you’ve taken cats for their routine check-ups and shots. If you have other pets, we’ll discuss how they’ve reacted to other animals in the past. Since I know your family has plenty of experience, we can skip the reference checks.” Ryan leaned forward. “But what’s your living situation like?”
“I’m with my mom and sister. But I’m looking to buy a place of my own. It’s my next step after I find a job.”
Ryan raised his brows with a speculative look. “Around here?”
“Yes. You look surprised.”
“I heard you might be moving to DC.”
Jack grunted. “Vivi told you about that?”
“Perhaps.”
“And?”
“That’s all I’m going to say about that.” Ryan made a zipping motion over his mouth. He glanced at a blank application on his desk. “Would you be around to take care of Stella?”
“I’m going into education, but nothing that should require late nights or long trips away from home.”
Ryan’s
eyes twinkled with amusement. “If you’re ready, I know which of our volunteers should interview you.”
When Vivi entered the main area of the cat shelter a half an hour later wearing a bright orange volunteer shirt and her hair pulled into a messy bun, Jack stopped brushing the gray tabby with a mat forming on her belly and stood. His heart pounded like the rapid fire of a machine gun.
She froze and her eyes widened. “Jack, what are you doing here?”
A cat wandered up to her and brushed against her leg.
He rolled on the balls of his feet and then pointed to the white roses he’d left outside of the gated enclosure. Cats and roses could be a disaster.
Cats and roses—could be a band name.
Focus… stop being nervous and get in the game.
“I brought you some flowers to apologize and live up to my promise.”
She blinked in rapid succession. “What promise?”
“I told you if you came to the rock climbing gym, I’d cover the poop scooping duties during your next shift. I’m a little late, but here to honor my word.”
She peered at him with incredulity. “I didn’t live up to my end of the bargain, considering I bolted.” Lowering her gaze, she added, “In a rather dramatic departure.”
“Hey, I didn’t specify the terms. I said you had to go, not that you had to climb.”
Her lips curled upwards. “You’d be a shitty lawyer.”
“Tell me about it.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Listen, Viv, I’m sorry for pushing you. I get that I was out of line.”
She glanced across the room. “No, you were right. Ryan’s right, too—I’m too stubborn and proud. You had my best interests in mind, and I lashed out at you in frustration. It wasn’t you I was mad at, it was me. The anxiety pushed me to panic and want to escape.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “It was yet another reminder of what I couldn’t do anymore. I was angry at what had happened and overwhelmed facing what things are like now.”
Jack placed his hand on his heart. “Still, I pushed you before you were ready.”
Jack: A Second Chance Marine Romance Page 11