A Shot at the Big Time

by Christina McMullen

  Tonight was gonna be big. Everything hinged on this one going off as planned. It was still a little surreal to think that I would be stepping in to take on the head of the Liberty Gang and doing so with the blessing of the head of the Coalition of Evil. In a way, this would be the true audition. This battle would determine whether or not I would be facing down Magnificent Man to exact my vengeance.

  So when I showed up and things weren’t going as planned, I kept my cool, assessed the situation, and chose the best course of action based on my assessments.

  Just kidding.

  I totally panicked.

  Nocturno must have had a heads up that Take was planning something because the self-proclaimed lone wolf showed up with an army of second rate ‘Figs. Beyond Human wasn’t that big of a deal. Sure, he was one of the old timers who had the enviable combination of strength, speed, and skill, but when I say old timer, I mean it. Beyond Human was beyond old. I’m pretty sure the geezer was pushing eighty. Glamora would prove to be a pain because the only reason I knew she was there was because there were two Hostile Takeovers. Even Crunch, a solid wall of meat that rivaled Lane in size and stamina, didn’t bother me too much.

  No, what set off my panic alarm was the presence of Awkward Man and the Hot Mess. The last thing I needed was for my big debut against the one guy who could make or break my career to be sabotaged by the Z-team.

  Luckily for me, Take brought along backup of her own, including AcroBot, who was doing a pretty good job of reminding Tabby how their last encounter had ended. Awkward Man had taken to the skies. Whether this was tactical or because he didn’t want to be in the thick of things was hard to say, but he was quickly snared into a fight with Bumbull Beat. Beyond Human hovered nearby, confused as to whether he should help his Awkward teammate or go after Take, who was still being mimicked by Glamora, which had the action on the ground temporarily halted.

  In the midst of the complete and utter pandemonium, only one ‘Fig was conspicuously absent. I scanned the skies and sure enough, Nocturno stood on the top of nearby Maxima Savings and Loans, watching the chaos play out around him. Annoying, really, because I didn’t have a spiffy little retractable grappling hook to cake walk my way up the building, so I was going to have to get up there the old fashioned way: by overriding the security system, riding the elevator to the top floor, picking the lock to the maintenance access area, and climbing up onto the roof.

  “Enjoying the show?”

  Sneaking up on Nocturno was almost too easy. For a supposed genius mastermind, he was pretty careless. Even the lowliest grunts know never to turn their back on an unguarded entrance.

  “So that’s what she was up to.”

  He turned lazily from the action down below and looked me up and down. A super creepy smile split his face as his eyes hovered for a few beats too long on my chest. “So, sweetheart, what are you supposed to be? The new blood?”

  “I might be,” I said, giving a shrug with an air of feigned indifference. “But call me sweetheart again and see how fast I spill yours.”

  Oh! Zing! That was a good one if I do say so myself. Nocturno gave an appreciative nod as well and I am not embarrassed to admit I was flattered.

  “Quick, I like that. But are you quick enough?”

  A whizzing hum filled the air and I jumped away, barely avoiding the wires of a stun gun, and rolled my eyes so far up into my head I was staring at my own brain.

  “Guess that’s a yes,” I deadpanned and hit the guy with a spray of sleet. I should have known better than to open with a witty retort on the guy whose M.O. was the quip-attack-counter zinger fight style. I was decent, but if the fight went on for more than a few more rounds, I was going to be in trouble.

  “You’re going to need something a little stronger than party tricks for the majors, chickadee.”

  Nocturno rushed me, taking the fight into closer quarters. At least, he tried. I turned the roof into a skating rink with a flick of my wrist. I stepped aside with a chuckle as he lost his footing and went flying by. But victory was short lived. I heard a pneumatic hiss and watched dumbfounded as a pair of skate blades popped out of the bottom of his boots.

  I’d been warned not to underestimate the power of gadgetry. I guess if you’re going to try and fight crime without a talent, planning for every eventuality makes sense, but damn, ice skates? That was some unexpected bullshit.

  I must have hesitated a moment too long because I found myself taking a helmet to the chest, which knocked me back a few feet and left me winded. I guess after a near twenty year rivalry with Take, Nocturno didn’t suffer from any chivalry issues. On the contrary, I was pretty sure he rushed me just so he could shove his face in my chest. I would have called him out on it too, but at that moment, an obnoxious voice echoed across the roof.

  “Hey, Frostbitch!”

  “Really? Right now?”

  Nocturno took advantage of my distraction and grabbed me from behind. Big mistake. Though he was wearing gloves, they weren’t impervious to ice, so I lowered my body temperature. Not enough to kill him, but enough to make him jump away, teeth chattering as he tried to warm his core body temperature back up to something less unpleasant.

  “Need something Tabby?”

  “Uh, yeah. I need to kick your ass, bitch.”

  “You already called me a bitch a second ago. Is that your only insult? Because it’s pretty derogatory towards women.”

  “If I was talking to a woman, maybe I’d give a shit,” she huffed, sending out a heatwave that melted my ice rink.

  “Okay, that’s nice and all, but Tabs, I ain’t here to fight you, okay? I’m actually in the middle of something important, so if you could just…” I smacked her with an unnecessarily huge blast of icy air and giggled a bit as she clung to the side of the roof. Big mistake though, because in retaliation, she sent out a wild volley of flames. Most of them fizzled out when they hit the wet roof, but a few flew true, setting fire to the department store across the street.

  “Dude! Seriously! Stop! I wasn’t making a joke last weekend. You just set fire to a registered historical landmark.”

  “No, you’re the bad guy. You’re to blame,” she shrieked, sending another blast, which I ducked, but the look on her face told me she hit something. I spun around to see Nocturno standing behind me with a murderous expression. On the bright side, he wasn’t freezing any longer, but he was still smoking.

  “Uh… I’m gonna take this as my cue to scram,” I said to no one in particular and ducked out from between angered leader and idiot lackey. I definitely didn’t want to get caught up in that crossfire.

  “Give my regards to Magnificent Man,” I added right before heading back into the bank, locking the door behind me.

  Chapter 12

  Despite Tabby’s attempt to completely derail my evening, Take informed me that I’d made an impression. Whether that was the right impression or not, she infuriatingly kept to herself, but she did tell me to be ready to present my proposal for my official debut event at the next Coalition of Evil weekly meeting.

  Needless to say, I was simultaneously looking forward to and dreading Tuesday evening’s shindig. I’d spent most of Sunday and all of Monday evening creating a presentation that was sure to wow and impress. On one hand, I didn’t want to come across as overly ambitious. The Coalition guys were pretty territorial and I already knew the only reason I had even been considered was because none of the other members carried a grudge against my elusive foe. But on the other hand, this was the opportunity I’d been waiting for and I sure as hell wasn’t going to half-ass it.

  Despite my nerves, I was in pretty high spirits as I drove across town and wisely parked in the paid garage two blocks from the tower location. I still felt outclassed as I smiled and nodded my gratitude to the doorman who bowed slightly as I passed. Like the week before, the lobby was swarming with faceless underlings. None gave me a second glance as they hustled about, doing whatever it was they did, but I still kept an eye out
for anything suspicious.

  This time, when I stepped off the elevator, it wasn’t into disorienting darkness. The reception area was well lit and jammed packed. Aside from Coalition members, who stood around casually chatting with drinks in hand, there were plenty of underlings running about, entering and exiting through the many doors that lined the far wall. To my dismay, I noticed both Harold and Ronny as well as a couple of other folks with similarly pinched faces and smug expressions that I didn’t recognize. Klaus, I noticed with some relief, was absent.

  Take caught my eye and waved me over to where she was speaking with an older woman who was nearly as tall as she was but as thin as a rail and wearing one of the aforementioned pinched and smug expressions.

  “Frostbyte, welcome,” Take said, putting a hand on my back to bring me into the conversation. “I want you to meet Jhasha. She designed your current costume and will be working with you on prototypes until you find what works.

  I smiled my thanks and would have verbalized this as well, but Jhasha was sizing me up. No doubt she was mentally calculating ways to leave even more vulnerabilities in the name of oversexualizing my brand. For a moment, I was cautiously optimistic that maybe she would be open to the idea of pockets. After all, the stylishly shapeless tunic she wore had two shopping bag sized pockets sewn right into the front. But the look of disdain she gave my cargo pants dashed any hopes I might have had.

  Take drifted off to bark some orders at a group of underlings, leaving me alone with the designer. For an awkward moment, I just stood while she reached into her enormous pockets and pulled out a full sized notebook and began to make loud, scratching noises with the pencil that had been tucked behind her ear. I wasn’t even sure if she was writing or just making the noise to irritate me, but it was annoying enough that I was actually grateful to see Jet Set, whose late appearance, it turned out, was holding up the meeting.

  I followed the others into a boardroom that was not at all unlike the meeting room where my department held their monthly meetings. There was even a side table laden with donuts and coffee from the same chain favored by my director. I took a seat close to the back so that I could observe everyone.

  Take brought the meeting to order and wasted no time putting the spotlight on me.

  “As you all know, the Coalition has grown,” she said with a beaming smile in my direction. “Lisa Raskin, known to us as well as our enemies from here forward as Frostbyte, brings a fresh new perspective to the team. As you observed this weekend, she’s adaptable, deadly, and thanks to a background in information technology, excellent at dealing with last minute assignments and changes.”

  I ground my teeth behind my smile and managed to keep from noting that the last point was more of an occupational hazard than a winning personality trait. I just hoped my silence wouldn’t come back to bite me in the ass.

  “But most of all,” Take continued, “Frostbyte is ambitious. I have no doubt that she’ll be an asset to the team, but let’s let her tell us about that in her own words.”

  Take gave me a nod and sat down as all eyes in the room turned toward me with open curiosity. Well most, at least were curious. Some faces just held smug expressions. Three guesses as to who those were.

  I cleared my throat and opened up the folder in front of me, making sure my notes were in order. I didn’t know whether I should stand up or not, so I didn’t. It wasn’t a huge crowd anyway. Just a dozen or so people.

  “Well, as you probably know, I’m looking for a showdown with Magnificent Man,” I began.

  “Good luck,” Jet Set snorted with a derisive laugh. “Have we even seen him since Rocky retired?”

  “Manny and I went a few rounds with him last year,” Dr. Cannibal noted. “But he’s been laying low since that one fight with Oddball.”

  Yikes. I didn’t realize Magnificent Man had tangled with Oddball. Oddball had sent more than one ‘Fig into permanent retirement just because they didn’t want to have to deal with his absurdity. The last thing I needed was for my lifelong ambition to be shot down because my nemesis had a bad case of the heebie-jeebies. Luckily, before I could really start to panic, I remembered a media engagement the week before where Magnificent Man assured the citizens that he was still on the task of keeping Maxima City crime free.

  “I wrote a program that analyzed all of the Rock Tower and Magnificent Man battles from their last decade together,” I continued. “It seemed Rocky favored mass destruction that would put the citizens of Maxima City in harm’s way. The way I see it, I could pull a copycat maneuver…”

  I paused as a rude snicker erupted from Jet Set’s punch-worthy face. He sobered up a moment later as someone, I’m not sure who, gave him a sharp kick to the shins under the table.

  “I don’t have a hulking presence or superior strength, but I can make icy conditions appear out of nowhere in the dead of summer,” I went on, giving Jet Set a smile that conveyed where I thought he might shove an icicle. “Plunging all of downtown Maxima City into a Deep Freeze right at rush hour on a Friday wouldn’t just mess with the commuters, it would also ruin everyone’s weekend plans.”

  Admittedly, I worried for a solid minute that my plan was going to attract the wrong attention. Tabby was bound to see the ice as some sort of a challenge, but even if she got to me first, there wasn’t much she could do besides cause more damage. Magnificent Man had, among other incongruous talents, heat vision.

  “Well, I have got to say, I am impressed.”

  I was stunned to see that the first person to speak at the end of my presentation wasn’t Take, but Harold, the slightly less obnoxious of the brand managers.

  “The use of analytics to determine your best yielding actions is rather impressive. However, given the pushback from our initial meeting, you’re a good three months to a year from such an ambitious action item, so let’s dial it in a little.”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  I may not have understood half of what he’d said—likely because he’d gone beyond buzz speak and into the realm of made up words—but I got the crushing gist of it. It sure didn’t help that as Harold spoke, Ronny sat silently next to him, smugly eyeballing me over the top of his laptop. At least, I noticed, it was not the same one I fried.

  “Ms. Raskin, what you have proposed is a logistical nightmare in terms of implementation. You’re looking at nearly a half million dollars in damages.” Harold sucked in air through his giant gleaming teeth and my hands instinctively clenched into fists. “Now, before we begin brainstorming, let’s take a look at the figures from last weekend. I do have to demure here. When you said you would do your best to minimize financial responsibility, I thought for sure you were making an empty promise.”

  The words I told you so were on the tip of my tongue.

  “Your fight with Nocturno only netted fifteen thousand dollars in damages.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Well, the damage to the building was considerably more, but we received word from the Liberty Gang’s claims adjuster stating that The Hotness would take one hundred percent of the liability for that.”

  Ouch. I guess hitting your boss’ boss in the face with a torrent of flames is a bad career move. Maybe now she’ll be forced to work on her aim. Still, as much as I wanted to gloat, there was still the matter of fifteen thousand dollars in damages that I couldn’t even begin to figure out.

  “Maxima Savings and Loans will be requiring a new security system.”

  Ugh. Okay, so I might have melted a few circuit boards in my haste, but geez, if I was going to have to pay for everything I damaged in the name of causing mischief and mayhem, I might as well hang it up now, because Winfield didn’t pay me enough and I learned the hard way that Frostbyte was already off Take’s payroll.

  “However, the city zoo was impressed with the fact that you put forth the effort to catch and re-secure all of the animals that Oddball let loose, so they told us to have him pay you for the damages. So with the additional ten thousand dollar
bonus, you’re only on the hook for five thousand.”

  “Oh… only…”

  I didn’t need a mirror to know that all of the color had drained from my face. Five thousand dollars was a lot of money.

  “Don’t worry,” Take said with a reassuring smile. “Since the soft launch was our idea, I’ve paid the damages out of petty cash. But we do need to see about getting you an income stream. Not all of the ‘Figs will be as easy to pin the damages on and unless you’re planning on playing up the I-work-alone angle, you’re going to need to pony up for your staff.”

  My heart sank. I hadn’t even taken into consideration the fact that I was going to have to pay employees. I’d been banking on Lane’s help at least, but given that he was on an ‘extended leave of absence’ from the Winfield sales department, I had a feeling Take wasn’t going to be letting him off the team for a while.

  “Which is why we’re here, of course,” Ronny informed me with no small amount of condescension. Honestly, I had no idea why Take kept this guy on. Smarmy Harold was bad enough, but if Ronny was supposed to be the behind the scenes guy, he should probably stay behind the scenes. Way behind.

  Harold got up and began passing around glossy black folders with the Coalition logo embossed on the front.

  “Using our own data and analytics, we’ve measured several known income generators, weighed their viability, and selected the best three fits given everything we know about Ms. Raskin’s lifestyle and talent.”

  Before I even had a chance to open the folder, Take was shaking her head.

  “Absolutely not. Strike number one off the list. Just as Frostbyte was an invaluable member of my team, Lisa Raskin is an invaluable member of my IT Department. More so, if I’m being honest. I can’t afford to lose her.”