The Unrepentant Cinephile

by Jason Coffman

  Anaconda (1997)

  Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)

  Avenging Disco Godfather (1979)

  Belly (1998)

  The Big Hit (1998)

  Body Rock (1984)

  Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)

  Booty Call (1997)

  Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984)

  The Cell (2000)

  Cheerleader Camp (1987)

  Cleopatra Jones (1973)

  The Coroner (1999)

  Cruel Intentions 2 (2000)

  Disorderlies (1987)

  Going Overboard (1989)

  Hard Rock Zombies (1985)

  The Hitcher (1986)

  Hoodlum (1997)

  How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

  Jack Frost (1996)

  Jack Frost (1998)

  John Carpenter's Vampires (1998)

  A Life Less Ordinary (1997)

  Lost & Found (1999)

  Lovely But Deadly (1981)

  Mac and Me (1988)

  The Mummy (1999)

  The Nail Gun Massacre (1985)

  The Paper Boy (1994)

  Petticoat Planet (1996)

  Playing God (1997)

  Police Academy: Mission to Moscow (1994)

  Poor White Trash Part 2 (1976)

  The Relic (1997)

  The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1994)

  Rising Sun (1993)

  The Search for One-eye Jimmy (1994)

  Small Soldiers (1998)

  Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead (1995)

  The Toughest Man in the World (1984)

  Uncle Sam (1996)

  Zabriskie Point (1970)

  PART 4: FILM FESTIVAL & EVENT COVERAGE 2014 – PRESENT

  Cinepocalypse 2017: Day 1 & 2

  Cinepocalypse 2017: Day 3 & 4

  Cinepocalypse 2017: Second Half

  Fantastic Fest 2017: Day 1

  Fantastic Fest 2017: Day 2

  Fantastic Fest 2017: Day 3

  Fantastic Fest 2017: Day 4

  Fantastic Fest 2017: Day 5

  Fantastic Fest 2017: Day 6

  Fantastic Fest 2017: Day 7

  Fantastic Fest 2017: Day 8

  Fantasia International Film Festival 2017: Dispatch #1

  Fantasia International Film Festival 2017: Dispatch #2

  Fantasia International Film Festival 2017: Dispatch #3

  Fantasia International Film Festival 2017: Dispatch #4

  Fantasia International Film Festival 2017: Dispatch #5

  Fantasia International Film Festival 2017: Dispatch #6

  Fantasia International Film Festival 2017: Dispatch #7

  Fantasia International Film Festival 2017: Dispatch #8

  2017 Chicago Underground Film Festival: Part 1

  2017 Chicago Underground Film Festival: Part 2

  2017 Chicago Underground Film Festival: Part 3

  Festival Report: 2017 Overlook Film Festival

  Festival Report: 2017 Boston Underground Film Festival

  Festival Report: 2016 Philadelphia Unnamed Film Festival

  Fantastic Fest 2016: Day 1

  Fantastic Fest 2016: Day 2

  Fantastic Fest 2016: Day 3

  Fantastic Fest 2016: Day 4

  Fantastic Fest 2016: Day 5

  Fantastic Fest 2016: Day 6

  Fantastic Fest 2016: Day 7

  Fantastic Fest 2016: Day 8

  Bruce Campbell’s Horror Film Festival 2016: Day 1

  Bruce Campbell’s Horror Film Festival 2016: Day 2

  Bruce Campbell’s Horror Film Festival 2016: Day 3

  Bruce Campbell’s Horror Film Festival 2016: Day 4

  Fantasia 2016 Part 1: July 15-17

  Fantasia 2016 Part 2: July 18-20

  Fantasia 2016 Part 3: July 21-22

  Fantasia 2016 Part 4: July 23-25

  Fantasia 2016 Part 5: July 26-30

  Fantasia 2016 Part 6: July 31-August 3

  Festival Report: Chicago Underground Film Festival 2016

  Festival Report: 2016 Boston Underground Film Festival

  XConfessions: A Conversation with Erika Lust

  Fantastic Fest 2015: Day 1

  Fantastic Fest 2015: Day 2

  Fantastic Fest 2015: Day 3

  Fantastic Fest 2015: Day 4

  Fantastic Fest 2015: Day 5

  Fantastic Fest 2015: Day 6

  Fantastic Fest 2015: Day 7

  Fantastic Fest 2015: Day 8

  The Cheap, Crazy Cult Films of Andy Milligan

  Lost Films Get Found at Exhumed’s Forgotten Film Fest!

  Index

  Introduction

  I don’t know that I can point to the exact time and place that I first became aware of the twisted genius that is Jason Coffman. I’m pretty sure that it was in the late-2000s salad years of what has come to represent “social media,” perhaps via MySpace or that innocent nascent era on Facebook before it became the inescapable powder-blue behemoth presently consuming our lives. But while that was probably where our initial chats took place, Fate also conspired to place the two of us within the same city limits (Chicago), where we were able to mutually enjoy the multitude of horror-related events that the Windy City makes a steady habit of sponsoring.

  Throughout 2007 and 2008, I was attending any number of these gatherings in support of my first monster movie guidebook, Horror 101 (released through Midnight Marquee), and as a result was in a position to share many spirited face-to-face conversations with my fellow blood brothers and sadist sisters. It was there that I was able to put faces to the names (or the online pseudonyms) to many of the neighborhood kids with whom I had been fervently discussing the finer points of Hammer flicks or Italian Exorcist rip-offs from the 1970s, and I started to realize that Jason was almost always in attendance. I also started to realize that this guy had an insatiable hunger for celluloid that rivaled, nay, surpassed my own enormous appetites.

  As our conversations grew deeper, it soon became apparent that there wasn’t a film genre he wasn’t interested in pursuing, and that he drew no distinction between Hollywood product and the most threadbare of independent or cult cinema. He was constantly looking back at the medium’s rich heritage as well as the latest trends and movements, and his enthusiasm and articulate opining were things of wonder. I used to privately consider myself the most well-rounded movie fan in any room – familiar with everything from Cocteau to Cronenberg, Tarkovsky to Tati, Romero to Russell – but this Jason character consistently laid waste to those smug notions, referencing titles and subgenres and filmmakers I hadn’t seen or even heard of.

  Clearly, this was a guy with whom I wanted to hang. To my good fortune, he was happy to hang with me.

  Over the ensuing years, we’ve engaged in any number of cinematic adventures together – if I’ve come across a flick “too weird” for public consumption, his is the first number I dial, knowing that my co-pilot is one who truly appreciates the singular and the strange. No one wants to be alone when your mind is being blown, plus Jason has an eye and ear for recounting details during a post-view discussion that spark the whole experience anew. I freely admit he’s expanded my consciousness more than I could ever hope to affect his, and I still marvel at his capacity for finding the enjoyment in a film that most – myself included – would simply dismiss as a waste of time.

  But as brilliant a conversationalist as the man is, the written format is where Mssr. Coffman truly owns the day. His casual assemblage of razor-sharp phrasing, whimsical bon mots, and references to pop culture and the moving picture art form – seemingly accomplished with neither strain nor thesaurus – is the type of film criticism that makes other humble scribblers weep with envy. Insight and passion are mainlined through the readers’ eyes directly to our hearts, and Jason’s adventurous spirit becomes our own for those all-too-brief moments. (As proved by his entry in our Rondo-winning collection of essays, Hidden Horror, only Jason could make watching a train wreck like
Doris Wishman’s A Night to Dismember seem like a good idea.) I’ve oft commented that watching through Jason’s eyes may be the best possible way to experience a film; here’s hoping the think tanks working on virtual reality technology someday find a way to mine that gold.

  Until that happy day, this book offers the next closest thing: an opportunity to climb inside the skull of a true unrepentant cinephile, gazing at the flickering screen through a lens filtered by blistering intelligence, wicked humor, and exhaustive knowledge of what has gone before. As an equal fan of the written word and the moving image, I find reading Jason’s work to be the perfect marriage of the two, an artist’s applause-worthy celebration of other artists.

  Enjoy the ride.

  Aaron Christensen

  Chicago, IL

  August, 2016

  Thanks

  This book would not exist if not for some people who gave me a platform to write and others who have encouraged me to stick with it. There are too many of the latter to mention, but I’ll try to make sure to get as many of them in here as possible.

  Thanks to the Bad Movie Night guys, wherever you are, for giving me the opportunity to learn important lessons about writing in public way back in the late 90s. And while we’re on this subject, big thanks to Leslie Phipps for formatting the Bad Movie Night section when I realized I was too embarrassed to read it myself!

  Thanks to Del Harvey, former editor-in-chief for Film Monthly. He took me on in 2008 and basically let me write up whatever I wanted in addition to the screeners I requested. And in the same vein, thanks to Jef Burnham, current editor-in-chief for Film Monthly, for continuing Del’s work and being super supportive and helpful in both writing and in working with me on film projects.

  Thanks to Paul Freitag-Fey, former editor for Daily Grindhouse, an inexhaustible well of knowledge on all things cinema, and a friend. He asked me to cover some Vinegar Syndrome releases in early 2014 and the rest, as they say, is history. He gave me plenty of room to cover all kinds of stuff, from those home video releases to modern super low-budget independent productions. And thanks to Jon Abrams, current editor of Daily Grindhouse, for keeping the site going strong and particularly for encouraging me to cover Fantastic Fest, and for even posting that Batman v. Superman thing I wrote.

  Thanks to Aaron Christensen, for being a constant source of inspiration and conversation about films in general and horror in particular, and for allowing my words to appear alongside all those talented folks in Hidden Horror. As well as for being a great friend and collaborator on projects on the page and otherwise.

  I have to thank Siri Buurma, my partner in life and crime, for being unbelievably loving, patient, kind, understanding, and supportive of my wacky endeavors. For being my biggest supporter and most thoughtful critic, and for more things than I could ever hope to list. There aren’t enough words to express my love and gratitude. Thank you.

  Thanks to my Mom and my Dad, who I think have been more perplexed by my obsession with movies more than anything, but who have been unfailingly supportive regardless.

  Finally, thanks to these people for too many reasons to list: Yadhira Arroyo, Joel Atkinson, JJ Bakken, Jared Bane, Emily Barney, Raul Benitez, Kian Bergstrom, Linnea Boll, Patrick Bromley, Kristen Bushko, Neil Calderone, Dave Canfield, Joe Chellman, Kyle Clark, Michelle Courvais, Henrique Couto, Chris Damen, Fred Dekker, BW Diedrich, Tim Dodson, Susan Doll, Jim Donahue, Miranda Doyle, Carey Farrell, Heidi Foland, David J. Fowlie, Dan Fraga, Patrick Friel, FuR Gebhardt, Joe Gervasi, Sharon Gissy, Jessica Gockley, Ashlee Greenlee, Harry Guerro, Erika Hanes, Jay Hawkinson, Kaila Hier, Amanda Hiese, Andrew Horton, Nicki Hoy, Brendan Hubbs, Lisa Jenn, Rolfe Kanefsky, Aroon Karuna, Paul Kazee, KL Kenzie, J. Edward Keyes, Dan Kiggins, Brian Kirst, Dawn & Jon Kitley, Nick Kitley, Lucia Labella, Daniel Lackey, Andrew Leavold, Morgan Lemel, Joseph R. Lewis, Jeremy Lowe, Josh Mabe, Mike Malloy, Lucas Mangum, Kelli Marshall, Bryan Martinez, Miguel Martinez, Kevin Matthews, Jillian McKeown, Phil Morehart, Jason Morehead, Kurt Morris, Rusty Nails, Daniel Nava, Andrew Neel, Jesse Nelson, Jayme Neverton, Jeremy Nyhuis, Legendary Lew Ojeda, Michael Phillips, Amanda Reyes, David & Shauna Reynolds, Katie Rife, Brian Riggins, Tony Robinson, Ruben Rosario, John Sant, David Schmidt, Bryan Schuessler, Don Shanahan, Neal Shankman, Jason Shanley, Daniel Sharp, Allyson Shaw, Chris Short, Lee Shoquist, Jessica Smith, Justin Smith, Michael Smith, Andrea Snider, Brian Sosin, Lisa & Tim Stoneberg, Whit Strub, Seth Studer, Scout Tafoya, Joel Thomas, Trace Thurman, Glenn Turner, Daisy Undercuffler, Mike Vanderbilt, Coye Vega, Wanessa Vovola, Joe Wallace, Matt Wedge, Mitch Wells, Mike White, Joel Wicklund, and Kristin Wicks.

  If I missed you this time, I’m working on another pile of writing to release eventually, so be sure to bug me about it before then!

  Explanations

  Before you read any of this, it may be helpful for me to explain my philosophy of filmgoing. I believe that any film worth watching is worth watching at least twice, and that any film not worth watching at all is worth watching once. Great films are a pleasure and teach us how to watch them and how to make them by example. Terrible films teach us how not to make them, and occasionally (and often accidentally) impart other wisdom as well. I may or may not still agree with the reviews in this book. We hope to learn and grow as we get older. In that learning and growing, viewpoints can change. I hope I gave all these films a fair evaluation in their own context and given what I knew when I wrote about them, which honestly still isn’t a hell of a lot. There are many films in here to which I would now be much more kind, and a number of them to which I would be much less.

  Part One is made up of reviews posted on Film Monthly from 2008 to the present and Daily Grindhouse from 2014 to the present, as well as the pieces I wrote for my series “The Crown International Files” for the site Criticplanet (RIP). There are also a few guest reviews I wrote for Aaron Christensen’s Horror 101 blog, and to round things out I have also included a few longer reviews that I only posted on Letterboxd. Originally the plan was to present all of these reviews in reverse chronological order, which was easy to do but had the unfortunate side effect of making the writing demonstrably worse as the reader progressed. They are now listed alphabetically by film title. This way it probably just looks like I’m insanely inconsistent, which is more or less correct.

  Part Two consists of single reviews of multiple titles, again originally posted on Film Monthly or Daily Grindhouse. A large part of my work for Daily Grindhouse has been covering releases by home video imprint Vinegar Syndrome, many of which consist of multiple films in double or triple features. They are presented in a rough alphabetical order by the title of the set, first film covered, or the review itself. Hopefully that makes sense.

  Part Three collects all the reviews I wrote for the site Bad Movie Night between 1997 and 2001. I’m not going to lie: I’m deeply ashamed of this stuff. However, it’s out there for anyone to find who would want to look, so there’s no hiding it. I was 20 when I started writing for Bad Movie Night, and I was a snarky jackass who had spent his whole life in Indiana. I’ve gone through and reformatted them for this book and made spelling and grammatical corrections (thanks again for helping out with that, Leslie!), but otherwise they are presented as they were originally posted—smarmy and ignorant. I’m including them here for a few reasons, at least one of which is to prove that anyone can go from being a know-nothing punk to a barely competent writer in a couple of decades. Fingers crossed.

  Finally, Part Four collects all my film festival and event coverage from 2014 to the present. This section includes capsule reviews for over 300 additional films. I feel much better leaving that impression than I did in the previous incarnation of this collection with the Bad Movie Night reviews at the end!

  Jason Coffman

  November 2017

  PART ONE: FILM & VIDEO REVIEWS 2008 – PRESENT

  The ABCs of Death 2 (2015)

  Originally published on Film Monthly 3 March 2015

  Anthology films are inconsistent b
y their very nature, but it’s rare when such a project seems to bring out the worst in almost everybody involved. Such was the fate of The ABCs of Death, a project that looked on paper like a sure thing: twenty-six filmmakers from all over the world making short films based on a death that begins with a different letter of the alphabet. Unfortunately, other than a handful of standouts, the majority of the shorts in The ABCs of Death ranged from forgettable to infuriating, with many of the filmmakers indulging their worst instincts for cheap shocks and gross-outs. When plans were announced for a sequel, many horror fans were wary. Happily, like its companion franchise V/H/S, The ABCs of Death 2 is an enormous improvement over the first film and comes much closer to fulfilling the promise of the project’s original concept.

  One immediately noticeable and fun change is the use of new interstitials, done completely in handmade stop-motion animation by Austrian animator Wolf Matzl. Along with the music by André Rössler and Isabel Greiwe, these interstitials instantly set a tone for the anthology and provide some of the best punch lines in the film when the title of a short is revealed at its conclusion. There is a sense from the start that much more care has been taken with this film than the first, and that carries over into the quality and content of most of the shorts, the best of which play to the strengths of their respective directors.

  Standouts include: “A,” directed by E.L. Katz (Cheap Thrills), cleverly contrasts an inexperienced hit man’s idea of what a job is like and how the job actually goes. “D,” directed by stop-motion animator Robert Morgan, is a fascinating nightmare in his unique style. “H,” directed by animator Bill Plympton, is a funny and unsettling battle of the sexes. “K,” directed by Kristina Buozyte and Bruno Samper (Vanishing Waves), uses inspired sound design and spare CGI effects to maximum effect. “P,” directed by Todd Rohal (The Catechism Cataclysm), looks and feels like a surreal comedy bit that could have been made in the 1930s. “W,” directed by Steven Kostanski (Manborg), concerns two boys in a “He-Man”-style toy commercial who are sucked into the world of “Champions of Zorb” and find it is not as much fun as they expected. And “Z,” directed by Chris Nash, is a strange tale with some great practical effects about a pregnant woman who is waiting for her husband to come home before she gives birth, although it is unclear whether he is actually ever coming home.