The Unrepentant Cinephile

by Jason Coffman

  Lust Inferno stars William Margold as Reverend Jerry, a popular televangelist with a taste for whipping nubile young women. That’s not the only thing he has to keep out of the limelight: his frustrated wife (Rita Ricardo) attends orgies under the guise of therapy sessions, and his older daughter Gail (Gail Sterling) is openly promiscuous. When his younger daughter (Lynx Canon, although that credit is somewhat complicated) decides she wants to experience sex, her mom allows her to buy a disguise and start working at the same brothel where Reverend Jerry gets his girls. No points for guessing how this all ends.

  While the film itself is not all that different from Tobalina’s other work (other than being particularly mean-spirited and off-putting), what makes this disc worth picking up is the commentary track on Lust Inferno with William Margold and Vinegar Syndrome’s Joe Rubin. Margold worked on dozens of adult films both in front of and behind the camera beginning in the 1970s, and he is a lot of fun to listen to. Early in the commentary, he explains that the “Lynx Canon” in this film is not the same Lynx Canon who appeared in some of Tobalina’s other films. Margold’s commentary is a enjoyable, invaluable resource of information.

  As far as Marathon goes, it is mostly noteworthy as being the first film John Holmes appeared in after the Wonderland murders. It is a literally plotless orgy film, first taking place in the home of Dickface (Jamie Gillis, so named because he wears a pair of novelty glasses with a penis instead of a nose) and then moving to the hospital room of a pair of party invitees who couldn’t make it to Dickface’s house. Like Tobalina’s Champagne Orgy and Fantastic Orgy, there are plenty of familiar faces among the crowd, but there’s not much acting going on here. Both films on this disc are restored in 2k from 35mm camera negatives, and the disc has no other special features other than Margold’s commentary. Again, though, that commentary makes this disc worth buying for any serious fan of golden age porn cinema.

  The other September Peekarama disc is a real find. This disc includes two features directed by legendary exploitation filmmaker Matt Cimber, who in addition to a few key hardcore films including Man & Wife (1969, the first feature film produced in America to feature explicit unsimulated sex) directed a number of exploitation classics like The Candy Tangerine Man (1975) and The Witch Who Came from the Sea (1976). This disc features two films Cimber made directly after Man & Wife, both from 1970: The Sensually Liberated Female and He and She.

  The Sensually Liberated Female was based on the 1969 bestseller The Sensuous Woman, but Cimber approached the film adaptation as something of a parody of the source material. Narrated by Lindis Guinness, the film is a portrait of the newfound freedom allowed women by the sexual revolution, covering everything from female masturbation techniques around the world (Japanese ben wa balls, American produce, etc.) to the joys of oral and anal sex. This film features some explicit sex, but the tone is mostly instructional, giving the movie more a feel of an educational film than anything really titillating. Previously thought lost, this is the first time the film has been released in any format since its original theatrical run in the early 1970s.

  He and She hews very closely to the formula of Man & Wife in that it is a “sex education” film in which a couple demonstrates various sexual activities while an “expert” explains what they’re doing and offers tips for married viewers on how to keep their sex lives from becoming stale. Barely running over an hour, the first eight minutes of the film is made up mostly of our narrator hanging out in a wood-paneled office, smoking a pipe and giving a lengthy justification for the film’s existence. Then it’s on to the rotating bed for some coldly narrated sex and flashbacks to the couple’s history. This type of quasi-educational film, known as the “white coater,” was a typical ploy for exploitation filmmakers to get nudity and other risqué content onto the screen; Cimber was the first to make that content actual sex.

  This disc has one special feature, but again it’s pretty much worth picking up the disc for this alone. In “Five Questions for Matt Cimber,” Cimber talks about the history of the films on this disc. The legal troubles for The Sensually Liberated Female in particular make for a hell of a story. Both films are short and offer a fascinating snapshot of explicit adult American cinema at its very beginning, and the great video interview with Matt Cimber rounds out a highly entertaining and historically enlightening Peekarama disc. He and She was restored in 2k from a 35mm color reversal intermediate and looks great; The Sensually Liberated Female is a bit less clean since it was restored from an archival 35mm print, but there is nothing major to complain about and this is certainly the best possible presentation the film could ever have.

  Vinegar Syndrome continues to impress with its dedication to preserving exploitation cinema history and giving new audiences a chance to see many of these films for the first time. These three latest Peekarama discs are great examples of this mission in practice, and it’s exciting to see where 2016 might lead them.

  The Zodiac Killer (1971) and Another Son of Sam (1977)

  Originally published on Film Monthly 24 August 2017

  Something Weird Video is a legend in cult and exploitation home video for good reason. Since Mike Vraney founded the company in 1990, SWV has discovered and released countless numbers of features, shorts, trailers, educational films, and weird cinema of every imaginable type. Regional horror movies, Christian scare films, nudist pictures, grimy porn loops, drivers’ ed films, and the oeuvres of underground auteurs like Andy Milligan, Doris Wishman, and Joe Sarno all sit happily side-by-side in the Something Weird catalog. Without SWV, many of these films would have disappeared. The American Genre Film Archive (AGFA), an offshoot of Austin-based Alamo Drafthouse, has similarly been doing spectacular work recovering and archiving film prints. Their collaboration began with a successful Kickstarter campaign that allowed AGFA to purchase their own scanner to preserve their rare film prints and to make them available for home video release. The Zodiac Killer Blu-ray/DVD combo is the first release from the AGFA/SWV home video imprint, and it sets a high bar for everything they release going forward.

  The Zodiac Killer case has been the basis for a number of films since the killer’s reign of terror in the late 1960s and into the 1970s. Most of these were made some time after the Zodiac was most active, but Tom Hanson’s The Zodiac Killer was released in 1971–right in the midst of the killings and cryptic letters the Zodiac was sending to California newspapers. Hanson, who at the time owned a California pizzeria, decided that he could possibly help catch the Zodiac by luring him out into the public eye. He would do this by making a film about the Zodiac, and he reckoned that chances were good the killer would see it. The ploy didn’t work, and the identity of the Zodiac Killer remains unknown to this day. However, it resulted in a truly one-of-a-kind film that veers from wild speculation on the Zodiac’s personal life to carefully researched replications of his crimes.

  The Zodiac Killer opens following parallel stories of two regular guys as they go about their day-to-day lives. Grover (Bob Jones) is a womanizing truck driver with a volatile temper who likes to wear a wig and pretend to be a big shot to impress the ladies. His pal Jerry (Hal Reed) is a friendly postman who tends to a number of pet rabbits in his basement. Grover has trouble with his ex-wife demanding back pay for child support, and Jerry has some expected annoyances with people on his route, but other than their disproportionate anger at the regular obstacles of life they seem mostly normal. But could one of them be the Zodiac? Between scenes of the two men going about their lives, there are dramatizations of actual Zodiac killings. Screenwriters Ray Cantrell (an actor who appeared in 1970’s Bigfoot and The Hellcats) and Manny Cardoza settle on one of the men as the actual killer and delve further into his mentality. But they wanted to underline the concept that the Zodiac was likely a regular guy, so even after the audience knows who the killer is they return to his everyday life. At one point, it’s not hard to imagine a spin-off titled The Erotic Misadventures of the Zodiac Killer could have been in the works.


  AGFA and Something Weird Video present The Zodiac Killer in a new 4K transfer “from the only surviving 16mm blow-up elements.” But rather than take the standard restoration route, this transfer borrows from Vinegar Syndrome‘s approach to embracing the look and texture of projected film. The transfer looks very much like what the film probably looked like when it was first projected, and instead of scrubbing it totally clean of imperfections, the film retains the character of a 1970s film print. Anyone expecting a super-clean reference quality showcase for their A/V setup should look elsewhere. For fans of low-budget 1970s cinema, though, it’s pretty much perfect. Special features include a commentary track with director Tom Hanson and actor Manny Nedwick moderated by AGFA’s Joseph Ziemba (also the creator of paracinema zine Bleeding Skull!) and Sebastian del Castillo, an interview featurette with Hanson and Nedwick, “Tabloid horror trailers” from the AGFA collection, and a booklet with photos from the film and liner notes by Chris Poggiali of Temple of Schlock.

  In addition to all this, the disc also includes an entire second feature film: Another Son of Sam (1977). The only directorial effort from stunt performer Dave Adams, this tasteless obscurity is even weirder than the disc’s main feature. Opening with a solid three minutes of title cards detailing violent events of the 1960s and 1970s (all American serial or mass killers, other than a reference to the 1972 Munich Olympics massacre) followed by a performance of the entire song “I Never Said Goodbye” by Johnny Charro, the film cobbles together a fictional tale of mass murder from details of actual well-known incidents. A killer (who is only ever shown from the chest down aside from extreme close-ups of his eyes) escapes from police custody and holes up in the girls’ dormitory of a local college, leading to a standoff with the police. There is a subplot about money that went missing from the school that has absolutely no bearing on the main action of the film, and it contains a number of pointless slow motion shots and frequent freeze-frames that sometimes occur mid-sentence while a character is speaking. Another Son of Sam is hilariously inept, but that unintentional humor is balanced by a grimy sheen of ghoulish opportunism. Both films on the disc are fascinating snapshots of low-budget independent American filmmaking in the 1970s, and it’s great to have these weirdo cultural artifacts preserved for future generations of cinephiles. Exploitation and cult cinema fans hopefully have a lot to look forward to from the collaboration of AGFA and Something Weird Video.

  PART THREE: BAD MOVIE NIGHT 1997 – 2000

  Addicted to Murder (1995)

  Rating: 8.5 Beans

  Once in a while, in the video store, I see a movie with stills on the back that look like they were taken from a home video. Usually, the footage used in the film is better than VHS. Such is not the case with Addicted to Murder, a more-than-straight to video film. See, it was shot on a video camera.

  Stop snickering. I'm serious.

  Being shot on video tape isn't the only problem with the film. Oh no. The plot involves a young man named Joel (Mick McCleery) who has some problems, the most glaring of which is the fact that his only friend in his childhood was a vampire named Rachel (Laura McLauchlin). Joel is awkward socially, which is pretty much par for the course as far as kids who hang out with vampires are concerned. Anyway, he moves to New York and has trouble fitting in. Things happen, he runs into another vampire named Angie (Sasha Graham) who turns out to be Rachel's sister or something. It really doesn't matter.

  The scene in which Joel talks to a prostitute on the street in New York sets the tone for the movie fairly well. The dialogue is drowned out by the sounds of the street around the actors (video cameras have one microphone, and it's usually mounted on the camera). Plus, the acting isn't very good. Of course, that's something that a lot of terrible movies have in common. What raises Addicted to Murder above the rest is the ridiculously ambitious framework: the action of the story (which jumps back and forth in time) is framed by “interview” footage with people involved in the story. “Ambitious,” you realize, is a relative term, and films on this small a budget need to take it easy.

  Addicted to Murder has a lot going for it: It looks horrible, it sounds much worse, and the acting and dialogue just isn't right. Maybe with a bigger budget and such, this could have been a different film; as it is, however, it's definitely good for an evening's entertainment. And see if you aren't tempted to look into mirrors and say, “Why do you feel so damn much, Joel?” when the movie's over.

  Almost Heroes (1998)

  Rating: 10 Beans

  Almost Heroes has the dubious honor of being the worst movie I have ever seen in a movie theater. It is boring, overlong (at 90 minutes), and absolutely not funny. Not once during its entire running time did I even smile because the movie was so pathetic. Nope. It's horrible, and I beg anyone who reads this to not waste your time and/or money. This one gets a ten out of ten in a bad way (unlike Avenging Disco Godfather, which you should see immediately). There are not words for this.

  Matthew Perry, star of Fools Rush In, stars as Leslie Edwards, a would-be explorer who wants to beat Lewis & Clark and make it into the history books. He needs help, though, so he hires Bartholomew Hunt (Chris Farley). Hunt is the Chris Farley character: he falls over a lot, he drinks constantly, and he sometimes screams things at the top of his lungs. I'm certain that everyone involved thought they had struck comedy gold with this formula while Farley was alive, but now it comes across as sad. Even if it didn't, though, it wouldn't be funny.

  The cast of characters in Almost Heroes is horrible. There's the Hostile French Guy (Eugene Levy; Levy's presence in a film is never a good sign) with a Beautiful Indian Wife (Lisa Barbuscia). There's an incredibly stupid guy who thinks if he speaks into the severed ear of his friend, his friend will hear it, and there's the guy with the severed ear, who tells an amusing story of how he ate excrement. I am sad to say that it is not as funny as it sounds.

  If I'm a little off on the character descriptions and all, it's mainly because I don't care. This film has no redeeming value whatsoever. The only other time I've been this close to walking out of a movie theater was during Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil (which absolutely demolished the worthless Anaconda). If you think watching Chris Farley fall down and get sloppy drunk for an hour and a half is funny, you'll still be disappointed because so much time is taken up by Perry's character. Incidentally, he's not funny at all, either. Not since Game of Death has a movie felt like it was so many times longer than it actually is.

  Chris Farley fans will no doubt want to see Almost Heroes. However, as horrible as this is, Farley was extremely funny in his much smaller part in Dirty Work, starring Norm MacDonald. I would strongly suggest avoiding Almost Heroes at any costs, whether it be in your local multiplex or on your local Saturday Movies station after terrible syndicated programming and before more terrible syndicated programming.

  Anaconda (1997)

  Rating: 7 Beans

  It looks so fake.

  That's about all that can be said about the title character from Anaconda. Except that its acting is better than about 78% of the cast.

  But that's not our principal concern. Our principal concern is, “Is Anaconda a bad movie?” Yes. But it's not very funny, intentionally or otherwise. Playing MST3K with this film will not only help you enjoy the experience, but is actually necessary to keep you from just turning it off.

  See, there's this group of documentary filmmakers, see, and they're looking to film this tribe which may or may not be a myth. Eric Stoltz plays the head of this expedition, the sensitive guy who spends about 85 minutes of the film's 89-minute running time sleeping. Only really. Jennifer Lopez plays his adoring girl, Ice Cube (one of my personal favorites) plays the cameraman, and Kari Wuhrer (who was also in Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time) plays one of the sound crew and provides the most of the film's cleavage.

  But finding a possibly mythical tribe of South American natives in the dense jungles of that continent isn't as easy as one would expect, and the cr
ew gets mixed up with Paul. Paul is played by Jon Voight, who is white. He speaks with a weird accent, and has a mysterious past. As we all know, however, any white guy named Paul who is supposedly South American by birth probably can't be trusted.

  The movie drags on with terrible special effects barely masked by the dark quality of virtually every scene. It's not even that funny. I saw it on a Free Movie Night with a couple of friends from school, and we still felt like we got ripped off.

  Anaconda doesn't break any new bad movie ground. It's pretty much exactly what you might think a movie about a giant snake starring Ice Cube would be like. But don't let that stop you. Grab a couple of friends and let the roasting begin.

  Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)

  Rating: 7 Beans

  I think I need to explain my position as a fan of the original Austin Powers film before I commence with my unpleasant review of its sequel. I liked Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. Before Austin Powers, there was really no great James Bond parody. Part of the charm of the film was in that it was mainly concerned with the 1960s Bond films. Why parody 30-year-old movies? Who cares? If it's funny, that's a good enough reason to do it.

  And Austin Powers was funny. Sexual innuendo, 60s/90s culture clash, and Dr. Evil-- a combination that worked. But it wasn't perfect. There were scenes that fell flat, and some jokes that didn't work. Overall, however, Austin Powers worked because it was original (relatively speaking), funny, and very well-done. Despite yourself, you became involved with the characters. Mike Myers did an excellent job writing characters the audience could love.

  Which is a huge part of the problem with Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. Before the opening credits are over, the audience is asked to disregard the events of the first film, and even to forget Vanessa (Elizabeth Hurley) outright. Basically, it feels like the time spent watching the first movie was a waste: a 95-minute setup for a joke that's over before the new movie begins.