Pink Buttercream Frosting

by Lissa Matthews

  “Bailey, close the door. I’ll be out in a minute and then we can talk.”

  “No, dammit. We’re going to talk now.” With that said, and in spite of his stunned look, she bullied her way into the shower stall with him, closing the door firmly behind her. It wasn’t a very submissive move, but… Her thoughts were only of him, of pleasing him, and something was keeping him from letting her in, even though he demanded that she open up to him.

  “There’s not enough room in here for the both of us.”

  “Then you shouldn’t have walked away.” He sighed and looked a little miserable. Should she give him the time and space he wanted? Nah. “Why did you run? Why do you always run?”

  “It’s too personal, this thing between us.”

  “Oh. Hmm…and?”

  “This isn’t easy for me. I’m not used to it.”

  “No, that’s no excuse, Aidn. I can’t keep doing this. I want you, I want to be trained and owned. I’ve wanted it ever since I found the lifestyle and it’s why I had to leave my husband. It’s what I crave and dream about, that submission, giving up control, being on my knees. I’ve been through emotional hell since you walked out that one afternoon. One afternoon is all it took for me to know I want this with you. I know I probably shouldn’t have been so bothered by it, even told myself not to fall, but…” She waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. “Best laid plans and all that.”

  “It was wrong of me. I get it.”

  “You get it? Good. Then help me get it. You want me, then you don’t want me… You drag me out of a club, making a public spectacle of us both. You bring me here, show me your toys, fuck me, give me a pretty speech about not running anymore and then what do you do? You run.”

  “I never wanted another submissive, Bailey. I never again wanted the responsibility, the attachment, the goddamned vulnerability. With you, I can’t say that anymore, though. I can’t say I don’t want it because I do. I want you in ways I can’t even begin to describe or imagine without it stopping the breath in my body. It scares the fuckin’ shit out of me.”

  “You want me? Like that? As yours?”

  “Yes.”

  She watched as he tilted his head back and let the water slide down over his face. She didn’t know what to say. And while she wasn’t sure exactly what to do in a situation where the man of your dreams just admits, albeit reluctantly, how much he wants you, she stepped back against the shower wall and knelt on the tiles. Clasping her hands together behind her back, she used her tongue to draw his cock between her lips and inside her mouth. He might be fighting his want of her, but he wouldn’t be able to say she didn’t try to show him through obedience and selfless acts of pleasure that she was worth it, worth being vulnerable for. With the flat of her tongue, she licked around the head and down the length of him, thrilled when he started to grow hard.

  One of his hands touched the top of her head and her lashes lifted to find his eyes fixed on her face. He pressed her tight against him, his balls rubbing against her chin, the crown of his cock filling the back of her mouth.

  “Oh, Bailey girl,” he murmured.

  His eyes closed then, but she didn’t look away. She watched the play of emotions on his face; the way his lips tightened when she used her teeth lightly, the way his eyes squeezed and his brows knit together when she slid her mouth off him and swallowed him whole again.

  He was right. Her submission was a part of her. Nothing that she could turn off, nothing that she could run from. She needed it. It was why she went to the club. It was why she went to private play parties. She hungered for it, to be near it, to be part of it, to be who she was meant to be.

  Her husband had never understood, had never tried to. Her friends thought it was fun and kinky. But, Aidn? Aidn got it. Aidn got what it was like to need it with every fiber of your being. Aidn understood what it meant to hold the very life and trust of a girl in the palm of his hand and God, she yearned to be that girl.

  Her tongue wrapped around him and she slid her lips to the tip of his cock and suckled before working her way back down to the base and settling there, working her throat against the tight, sensitive skin.

  “Stop. C’mon, Bailey.”

  Bailey shook her head without letting go. His plea for her to stop only served to make her more determined. He needed to know, he needed to believe she was worth the effort of his dominance, worth the responsibility. He needed to know he could trust her with the small, ritualistic things like her kneeling with his cock in her mouth and his come down her throat. If she could show him her trust with the basics of sexual submission and service, surely he could learn to trust her with his faith and his heart.

  She had no idea where the confidence came from, the determination, the audacity and contradiction to defy him when all she really wanted was to surrender to him. She’d never fought for a man before, but Aidn was special and there was no way she was going to give him up that easily. Even if it meant she had to fight him for him.

  He fisted his fingers in her hair and held her head still as he pulled his cock from her mouth. “Aidn, please. Please, let me.”

  “You want it?” he ground out.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Open your mouth.”

  He let go of her head with one hand and wrapped it around his cock. She watched him stroke it in short, steady bursts. His come hit her chin, then her tongue. He brought her mouth toward him and slid the head between her lips, his hand still pumping semen from it.

  For the second time that night, he emptied himself inside her. She swallowed. It was hot and thick and smooth going down. It wasn’t bitter or sweet, it was just… Aidn. When the last drop was swallowed, she licked him clean until he was once again soft. When she was done, she unclasped her hands and he helped her to stand. He wiped her chin with his fingers and fed the sticky remnants to her before kissing her forcefully; a hard, bruising kiss of lips, tongue and teeth.

  It was the hottest kiss she’d ever shared with a man. No one had ever kissed her after they’d come down her throat, and it turned her on far more than she expected it would. He wasn’t afraid of it, wasn’t scared of the taste of his own pleasure. When he lifted his mouth from hers, he reached back and turned the water off. They got out and toweled off in silence.

  Naked and cold, she wrapped a towel around her body only to have it taken from her and tossed on the floor.

  “Do you want me to take you home?”

  Take her home? Did she really have a choice? Looking into his eyes, she had her answer. Yes, she did have a choice. He would take her home and let her go. “No.”

  “If you stay…”

  “Yes.”

  Fire lit his eyes and his lips quirked. Bailey nibbled her bottom lip afraid of having spoken too soon, being too eager and aggressive with her response.

  “On your hands and knees then, sweet sub girl, and crawl to the side of the bed.”

  “Wha—?”

  “You heard me. Now.”

  She hesitated for just a second, and then dropped to her knees, lowering her hands in front of her. Embarrassment edged the chill from her skin, and she crawled, trying not to imagine what she must look like from behind. She’d never crawled naked before, never had the…pleasure. Yes, that’s what it was. She found pleasure in it. The notion surprised her and she smiled, almost giddy with the realization that she’d wanted this and was now getting it. She wanted submission, wanted dominance, and she was getting it. And him, she was getting Aidn.

  At the side of the bed, she simply knelt and waited. When he didn’t say anything, she looked back over her shoulder at him. He was still standing in the bathroom, naked, and had his arms crossed over his chest. He was watching her, a serious expression on his face.

  “In the bed, Bailey.”

  She climbed up onto the bed and pulled the covers back. She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to lie down or kneel or what. She took a chance and lay down, leaving the sheet at her feet.

  Again, she
looked over at him.

  “The first night I noticed you at the club months ago, I wanted you. When I watched you in the bath shop, sniffing that lotion, I wanted you. Every day since, I have wanted you, thought about you.”

  He came to her and sat on the side of the bed, pulling the sheet up, covering her body. Smoothing her damp hair away from her face, he lightly traced her features. She melted under his tenderness. As much as she craved his unrelenting possession of her body, her soul craved his fierce care and protection.

  “I’ve trained submissives and mentored dominants. I played in the scene for many years before that, but as I said earlier, I never wanted another girl of my own. Until, you…you I want all to myself and when I saw you in the club tonight all I could think about was, ‘that’s MY girl’.”

  “Aidn…”

  He took a deep breath, shook his head, and that’s when the shadows crossed through his eyes.

  “She took her collar off. The girl I owned long ago. She took her collar off. You see, she had fantasies of being given, shared with other men for their use, to serve their sexual needs. I didn’t mind it and together, we set up boundaries for that part of our relationship. She enjoyed it, it made her happy, and to be honest, it was a turn on for me, knowing that my girl got them off, pleasured them beyond their wildest dreams. Up until this one particular night, I had always been there when she was serving them. I had always been there to watch over her, to bring her home, to bathe her, to take her to our bed and remind us both to whom she belonged.”

  “What happened?” What would it be like to be shared like that while Aidn watched? The idea aroused and excited her, but given his past experience with it, she didn’t think she’d be asking to try it.

  He was looking at her, or rather, looking through her, back to the past. The pain in his eyes was harsh, cold, and she shivered, drawing his attention back to her. He tucked the sheet around her and she was glad for the warmth of his touch.

  “One of the doms who had used her on a previous occasion called our home. I was still working that night… Her transgression was two-fold. She went without me, thinking it was okay to leave me a message telling me what she was doing. When I got there, she was on her knees with his dick in her mouth. Her collar wasn’t around her neck.”

  “Oh, Aidn.”

  “I could have dealt with her going to him without me. The punishment she would have endured wouldn’t have allowed her to sit for a long, long time, but we could have worked through it. Taking her collar off…”

  “Did she say why?”

  Aidn did look at her then. His eyes were clear, no longer haunted, and he was focused on her. “It didn’t matter why. All that mattered was that she did it. I walked out his door and went home, packed up most of my stuff and left.”

  “I’m… Did she ever try to contact you, try to explain?

  “Yes, but I didn’t care. There is such a thing as respect in this lifestyle. I know many people don’t understand what we do or why we do it. I know they don’t understand it’s who we are and that we need this. She knew, though. She knew about trust and respect and the bond between dominant and submissive. She knew, or rather I thought she knew that her collar was the symbol of that bond. Taking it off, broke us, destroyed the trust and the respect we had built together.”

  Heaviness settled in her chest for the heartache he’d suffered. She wanted to soothe him, show him that she was different, that she wouldn’t do that, couldn’t do that. He deserved unconditional submission. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t have to say anything. For now, just get some sleep. You’re not her and I’m tired of not having what I want because I couldn’t let it go. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

  He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead before getting up and leaving the room without another word. She watched until he disappeared down the hall. How was she supposed to sleep after all he’d just said, all that was implicated in his words? Not to mention the fact that she was in his home, naked in his bed.

  Would he be sleeping with her? She didn’t know the answer and that was the real problem. She didn’t know any answers about what was going on. On the other hand, perhaps he needed to think, to figure out what he wanted to do.

  Bailey turned over and pulled the other pillow on the bed close to her, wrapping herself around its softness. She closed her eyes and tried not to think about what she would do if the outcome tomorrow wasn’t what she wanted and hoped for and wished that it would be.

  Aidn stood in the kitchen doorway. It was just after three a.m. and Bailey was in her own little world, moving around with silent efficiency, unaware of his presence. He’d never had a woman in his kitchen that wasn’t related to him in some way. He liked her there, making herself at home.

  “What are you doing?” He asked it on purpose just as she put her finger in her mouth with a large gob of pink stuff on the tip. She was blushing when she turned to him with wide eyes that suddenly looked guilty.

  “Oh, I um…I couldn’t sleep.”

  “I see that. What are you making?”

  “Frosting. Swiss buttercream.”

  The flush on her cheeks deepened. He walked toward her, stopping close enough that she had to tilt her head back to look at him. Her hair was mussed and she wore one of his T-shirts. For a bigger girl, she wore it better than he did. It was white, stretched tight across her breasts and he could see her areolas through the thin cotton. He’d have to punish her for rummaging through this things without permission. Damn, she was going to be fun.

  “Where did you get all the stuff to make frosting?”

  “It doesn’t take much, really. You had sugar and butter and eggs. I found some vanilla stashed way in the back of the cabinet. I was going to make a cake, too, but you didn’t have flour. You at least had a whisk and a good bowl, so…”

  “Right. And the pink color?”

  “You’re going to laugh. I um…carry a small jar of petal pink coloring.”

  Aidn debated asking why, but didn’t. Maybe it was just a baker thing. “Interesting. So, do you always play in the kitchen in the middle of the night in your underwear?”

  “If I were at home, I’d be in pajamas and sometimes I do bake in the middle of the night when things bother me or I just can’t sleep.”

  He studied her for so long that she began to fidget with the hem of the shirt, twisting it in her fingers. She drew her bottom lip between her teeth and lowered her eyes. He couldn’t even begin to describe the peace that settled around him, inside him. “You wearing my shirt turns me on.”

  She looked up then, her eyes flashing, a small, then very big grin lighting up her face. “I think you stay turned on.”

  “So I do. Most especially when it comes to you.”

  “I didn’t mean…”

  “I know exactly what you meant, but I’m telling you that when it comes to you, I stay horny and hard.” He glanced to the bowl on the counter then back at her mouth. “Now, about this frosting… May I have a taste?”

  “Oh um…yeah, sure.”

  She stepped back while he dipped a finger in the bowl. He started to raise it to his mouth, but stopped.

  “Lift up the shirt.”

  “Aidn, really…”

  “Are you going to start arguing with me about everything I tell you to do? If so, girl, you’re going to have one very red and very tender ass the majority of the time. Now. Lift. Up. The. Shirt.”

  Bailey did as he told her, heat again touching her cheeks. He placed his frosting-coated finger against her nipple until it was completely covered. With his hand in the center of her chest, he pressed her back against the counter and lowered his head, taking her nipple in his mouth, his tongue swirling around the tip, licking it clean.

  Looking up, he lowered the shirt back down and licked his lips. “It’s very good. Not many people know this, but I have an incredible sweet tooth. I guess my dentist will be getting a lot more business from me now.” He winked at her.
>
  “Th-thank you.”

  “I know you’re strong, Bailey. I know you’re independent. I don’t want to take that away from you, I don’t want to change you. I want to enhance those qualities in you, I want to add to them. You’re a submissive, not just sexually, but completely. It’s in you. I see it, I feel it. It calls to me and yet, you’re not afraid to fight me.”

  “You keep pushing me away, Aidn. You only let me in sexually. If I am more than just a fuck, I need to know. I need to know where I stand with you.”

  He dipped his finger in the frosting bowl again and nodded. “Yes. Those questions will end here. What do you think? Is that acceptable?” He pressed his finger against her lips until she opened them and licked the frosting off the tip. “Will it taste as good from my skin as it does from yours? Should we find out?”

  He smiled because all she did was stare at him with wide, questioning eyes. He really did have to get over it. He was going to have to trust her as much as he needed her to trust him. He was going to have to collar her, keep her, and for the second time in his very private, very personal life, take responsibility for someone other than himself.

  “Aidn? Do you remember my kitchen counters?”

  “I don’t think I’ll ever forget them.”

  “There’s not enough room on yours.”

  She lifted the shirt off over her head and stood naked in front of him. He looked around. She was right; his counters weren’t open or deep enough. The floor looked promising, but this wasn’t one of those fuck-on-the-floor moments. “Come with me.” He took her hand and led her out of the kitchen, but not before picking up the bowl of frosting.

  He settled her on the dining room table, bending her knees up, and then spreading her legs wide. Her body trembled. “Relax. Enjoy. Trust me. We both want this.” His hands drifted across her body as cravings for all the dark and deviant pleasures of the lifestyle began filling every pore of his being. “You’re the first woman to spend the night here, you know.”