Four

by Archer Kay Leah

"You call it ruining; I call it saving you from your stubbornness." Mayr crossed his arms. "Go ahead and tell me the Trials aren't supposed to kill you. Tell me again how they're not beating you into submission. Then tell me I shouldn't be worried. That's my favourite."

  Tash let out a frustrated breath toward the sky. "You can't keep doing this. You shouldn't have interfered. You made a promise, Mayr. You promised me you wouldn't. You swore—"

  "And I broke it. I know. I was there. Here. Ther—you know what? I don't care!" Mayr threw open his arms, shouting as he continued. "It's the right thing to do, Tash. When you love someone, these things happen!"

  A chill danced down Mayr's spine. His words echoed inside his thoughts, one word louder than all the rest. Did I really just say that?

  Tash snapped his mouth shut, his body rigid. He said nothing but tore his gaze from Mayr's.

  Guess I did.

  Chapter Nine

  Tash was unconscious, his skin blistered from the sun.

  The sight twisted everything in Mayr's gut worse than any illness. Guilt berated him for calling Divinity Claim. Had it truly been more merciful than stoning? Three days of being tied to the flag pole without water, food, or coverings had done as much damage to Tash's body as the attack on the road. Even from where he stood at the end of the marketplace, Mayr saw the red burn on Tash's face and his sunken eyes. Earlier that morning, Tash had complained to Allaysia about the ache in his head, claiming his eyesight was dim and blurry. His limbs were numb, and he had wondered if they were still attached or if the guards had lopped things off during one of his dizzy spells. Then he had called Allaysia by her mother's name and insisted he tell her a story that became a chaotic combination of five different tales twisted into nonsense by delirium.

  Tash needed water and quickly.

  Mayr followed Kilienn and Allaysia through the square. He ignored the stares of the villagers as he led Hetlan and Kilienn's grey horse, Sorna, by the reins, the cart rolling behind them. On the other side of Hetlan and Sorna walked Tissie, the blonde girl who had alerted Tash's family on the day of the confession. Only seventeen, she was an apprentice seamstress and daughter of Allaysia's best friend. Although she found Tash's punishment difficult to stomach, Tissie insisted she help take Tash home to be healed.

  Galosa met them at the dais. With a nod, he confirmed the punishment was complete. After the sweep of his hands, the four soldiers guarding Tash left their posts and crossed the square.

  "The coward is released to you," Galosa said. "I suggest you stop by the Temple of the Four and thank the priestesses who supported your Claim. They certainly know how to persuade." The corners of his lips twitched as he sneered at Mayr. "You're lucky I believe in following the law. I still think the stoning was more appropriate. However, the majority spoke and, apparently, so has Navara. Remove him from our sight. He smells disgusting." He flicked his wrist and walked away.

  Unable to look away from Tash, Mayr neared his still body, daring to touch Tash's dry, gritty skin.

  Under his fingers, the muscles in Tash's arm launched into spasms.

  Mayr jerked back and lifted Tash's chin to study his chapped lips and closed eyes. Wake up and look at me, just once, he begged. Or say something. Call me an idiot. Say you hate me. Just talk to me. Anything's better than this. You haven't said a word since I said I loved…

  He bit his cheek and lowered Tash's head gently before joining Kilienn's struggle to cut the tightly knotted ropes bound around Tash. What was he thinking? For three days, he had visited Tash. Talked to him and waited for a response that never came. The days and nights had crawled by, most of Mayr's time spent watching Tash when not with Tash's family, wishing they could go back to how they were before the trial. But we won't, will we? If it's not about this stupid punishment, it's about what I said when I was ranting at you. Why did I have to say anything at all? Why did my temper have to go and spoil it?

  "Here," a man said, approaching from Mayr's right.

  Mayr stiffened at the deep voice. His grip tightened around his knife. He flicked his glance to Ress, his eyes narrowing at the weapon in Ress's hand. Hissing, he swiped his knife at Ress, prepared to ram the blade through Ress's worn, brown tunic on the way to his gut.

  "Relax." Ress stopped, leaving a foot of space between them, and twirled his serrated knife. "If I wanted to kill him, he'd already be dead." He tapped the tip of the knife to the ropes around Tash's back. "When these come off, he's going to fall hard and fast. Why don't you just focus on catching him, huh?"

  Before Mayr could answer, Ress sawed the ropes. Portions of rope snapped and Tash's body sagged forward. Mayr sheathed his knife and motioned for Kilienn to do the same. They grabbed Tash, hands on his shoulders and waist. As the ropes split completely, Tash collapsed. Mayr and Kilienn hoisted his dead weight.

  Silent and quick, Ress slipped around Mayr to help Allaysia guide Tash into the cart. The moment Tash's body lay on the pile of hay and blankets, Tissie kneeled over him from where she waited in the corner to cover his face with wet cloths. Attempts to rouse him or get him to swallow water failed. The best they could do was take him home to Parase, who waited with everything they needed to heal him.

  The ride to the house was mostly silent, save the noises from squeaking wheels and the horse harnesses. Allaysia, Mayr, and Tissie sat in the back of the cart, arranged carefully around Tash's blanketed body. Kilienn drove with Ress at his side.

  Mayr cupped Tash's cheek and frowned at the moist rag beneath his palm. The cloth was hot and seemed to make no difference given the little water Tash's skin took from it. No wonder he had mistook Allaysia for Parase. His body struggled to cope with whatever it had left. Thanks to me. Because I thought I was smart. Because I thought I was helping. I may as well just have thrown a stone at his head.

  Once they reached the house, Parase met them in the front doorway. The home was built in a small lot, resembling the dozen others built closely around it in rows. The single-level house consisted of worn black wood and white stone with bright yellow window shutters and flower boxes filled with orange flowers. Behind the house, in the back of the lot, was a simple two-stall stable where Sorna lived.

  Parase ushered them into the house. Kilienn and Mayr carried Tash through the front foyer and brightly lit sitting room to a small room in the back corner of the house—the same room that had been Tash's as a boy. Inside, the bed was made with several blankets and pillows. A lavishly decorated table had been brought in from the sitting room and placed near the bed with bowls of oils, water, and herbs on top. Clean bandages and cloths sat beside them. Two buckets of water sat on the floor beside the table, the handle of a wooden ladle sticking out from one of them.

  "Get out." Parase shooed everyone out of the room except for Kilienn, using the white apron over her green dress to emphasize her command. "We'll holler when we need you. Now out!"

  "Leave his bracers," Mayr called back, staggering into the hallway behind Allaysia, Tissie, and Ress. "Please. Do whatever you want with the rest, but leave those. They're important to—"

  The dark door slammed closed. He swallowed hard and hoped they listened to him. The request was the least he could do; the last shred of Tash's dignity he could salvage after destroying the rest. Forgive me.

  Slowly turning his head, Mayr met Ress's gaze. He had questions.

  "Yeah, I know." Ress gestured with his chin behind him. "Let's talk somewhere that's not here." He eyed Allaysia and Tissie, his expression thickened with concern. "We'll give Ally and Tissie some space."

  Allaysia waved her hand and tread through the hallway. "It's fine. I'll just be in the kitchen, getting some things, calming my nerves. Trying to justify not kicking Galosa where it hurts most. Play nice," she commanded over her shoulder, her voice weary.

  Tissie shrugged. "I need to be getting on anyway. I'll be back later." She followed Allaysia and disappeared into another corridor toward the back door.

  "Makes that easy. Come on." Ress limped through th
e rooms, leading Mayr to the front foyer. His wrinkled, dingy clothes seemed out of place in the prim, elegantly decorated home. "Go on, get it out." He faced Mayr, crossing his arms. As his sleeve rose and revealed his gang mark, he glanced at it with a smirk. "Really riles you, doesn't it? You'd probably like to burn it. My arm, too, I'd wager."

  Mayr dug his fists into the crooks of his elbows. "Your arm. Your head. Considering I've never been one for hard criminals and killers, I'll take whatever I can get."

  "And yet you're sleeping with one." Snorting, Ress looked away. "Nice to know where your standards are."

  Teeth grinding, Mayr imagined the numerous ways he could break Ress's bones. Then he imagined the words used to kick him out of the house if they fought. Tash's family considered Ress a friend, not an enemy. No matter his opinion, he could not overstep the boundaries of their hospitality. "You know nothing about me. You certainly don't know him, not anymore. You don't get to talk about him. You get to shut up. Or I'll be dragging you back to Aeley in chains. She'd love to have one of you begging for mercy."

  Ress laughed, his eyes gleaming with amusement. "Aww, come on. You can do better than that. Besides, what's she going to do that Council hasn't already done?" One of his brows arched. "You know they own me, right? I'm a dirty hand they conveniently forget to wash. Mess with me and there's going to be a couple of angry hunters after you." He sobered, his laughter dying between them. "You've got a point, though. I don't know Taldris, not like I used to. We can't go back. I don't even know if we can go forward. We're as good as ghosts."

  "Why are you even here?"

  "Because I'm gagging on nostalgia." Ress stared at the floor, his fingers curling as he hunched forward, drawing into himself. "I did some talking while he was tied up. Spoke to one of my contacts that also knows you. K said Taldris is an absolute idiot for confessing, especially since tiny, little, annoying law birds are saying the Council's considering granting him a full pardon. She also said this is some priest thing. She said it's a big deal. She said you said it's a big deal to him, big enough to get himself killed. She doesn't understand it, and neither do I, but it got me thinking." He sighed. "I've got my own scores to settle with the Goddesses, but if They can find a way to forgive him, maybe I can, too. And maybe the Four can forgive me for being stupid beyond measure."

  Mayr scowled and shifted his feet. "I'm supposed to believe this? You made your opinion of him clear after the confession."

  "What? I'm not allowed to change my mind?" Ress motioned to the door behind him. "I was angry. He left us behind—all of us, including me, his best friend. We were like family, and he just left." He held his arms out wide. "The next thing I know, several of us are being arrested. Hauled around in cuffs and thrown to our knees, told to choose between serving the Council and ragging out everyone we knew in the Shar or life imprisonment with no kindness whatsoever. Wasn't long after I found out who gave the hunters our names. I haven't been able to think of Taldris without wanting to rip his spine out through his nose. So I'm not sorry if the thought of tying his intestines around his throat was my initial reaction."

  Ress shook his head, huffing. "But I'm not too stubborn to see what's in front of me. I saw how much it killed him to admit to everything. And here's news for you: we weren't happy. None of us were. We gave the Shar-denn our souls and they tore into us until we couldn't recognize ourselves. I know that. I lived that. He did what the rest of us were too scared to do. He got away with it, the lucky bastard. He got a new life. I can't help but hate and admire him all at the same time. Can't say I forgive him for stranding us and turning us in, but would I have done the same? Maybe." He pounded his fist on his injured leg. "If it wasn't for this, I could've."

  "So now what?" Mayr tilted his head, interested in how Ress's expression changed from disgust to annoyance to what resembled self-loathing.

  "I leave and let you deal with him," Ress replied, gripping the door handle. "I don't know where he and I sit. We might talk one day. Maybe." He shrugged and caressed the silver handle. "All I know is that whatever happens, I was never here. Inesta would have a fit if she knew. She never got over him breaking her heart."

  "Right. From what I understand, he had help getting there."

  "Yeah, well…" Opening the door, Ress cast Mayr a knowing glance before stepping outside. "Just take care of him. And don't pass this around. It's bad enough I've been caught for my part in things. Now I have hunters telling me when to swallow and choke." He studied the other houses, lingering on the open spaces between them. "Steer him clear of Inesta. She's out for blood, worse than any boss I've known. She's already taken her fill of mine, straightening me out. He doesn't need that." His gaze slid toward Mayr. "Just get him home. Tell him I said to walk safe, breathe deep, and seize life. The bastard's earned it."

  The door pulled shut and clicked. Eyes closed, Mayr tried to drown his thoughts in the soft noise of Allaysia's heels on the kitchen floor. What had Tash really earned? What would the ride home be like? If the last three days were any indication, the future was no better than the punishment.

  Mayr pushed off the door and wandered to the kitchen. Allaysia leaned against the table in the middle of the room, staring blankly through the open window above the washbasin, steam rising from the wooden cup in her hands. Silent, Mayr sank into one of the chairs at the table. Laying his head on his folded arms, he teased out the muffled sounds of Parase and Kilienn in Tash's room. He was tired but could not sleep. He hurt inside but could not soothe the pain. Not while Tash lay unconscious, the price for Mayr's foolish attempt to save him. After three days of staying awake to witness Tash's surrender to the elements and the cruelty of mortality, Mayr wanted nothing more than to hear Tash say it was meant to be. That Mayr was forgiven for his interference. That he was forgiven for caring too much. That it changed nothing between them.

  Who am I kidding?

  "You did him good," Allaysia said, startling Mayr. "You did what we couldn't."

  As Mayr lifted his head and considered his response, the door to Tash's bedroom opened and heels clicked across the floor. Parase hustled into the kitchen, wiping her hands on the apron balled in her hands. She tossed the apron into the fire inside the hearth on the other side of the room. Flames devoured the white fabric in an instant, growing high and warm.

  Parase snatched a towel from the rack above the hearth and turned toward Allaysia and Mayr. "You two can keep him company; keep bringing his fever down. I've got broth to make, not to mention something for us later." She snapped the towel at them. "Go on! Keep talking to him. That's what the healer said. Give him someone to wake to. Everything you need is in there. Your father will bring more water from the well."

  Not to be told again, Allaysia and Mayr hurried to Tash's room, passing Kilienn on the way. In Kilienn's hands was a ragged wicker basket filled with Tash's soiled, torn clothes.

  "I'm burning these and finding new ones," Kilienn explained, stopped in the middle of the hallway. "Left his bracers, though, since you asked and I noticed he was protective of them. Figured he didn't want to lose them for whatever reason."

  Mayr breathed out as Kilienn continued down the hallway. "Thanks," he said, bombarded by the thick scent of herbs and incense. From the doorway, he gazed at Tash. Stripped and bathed, Tash lay under thin blankets, which were pinned to his sides by his arms. Rope burns crisscrossed down his arms and across the leather of his bracers. His face was still red and dry, though better than it had been. At least he looked more comfortable, though his chest still rose and fell rapidly.

  Overcome with the memory of the first trial, Mayr fought the urge to hold Tash. He probably wouldn't be happy to wake up with me all over him, not this time. Instead, he sat on the stool on the side of the bed opposite Allaysia, who perched on the edge of a chair, dabbing Tash's forehead and cheeks with a wet cloth. When Mayr rolled his sleeves up, Allaysia offered him another cloth.

  "His neck," she told him, pointing. "Shoulders, arms, chest. Whatever you want." All
aysia cupped Tash's cheek. "Anything to help Little Bird fly back home."

  "Can I ask you something?" Mayr dipped the cloth into the bucket beside his stool and wrung it out partially. He drew the cool cloth down Tash's cheek and curved it around the back of his neck, disturbed by the intense heat emanating from Tash's skin. "Why 'Little Bird'?"

  Allaysia blinked. "Because his name's Halataldris."

  "No, I know that. But why the name at all?"

  "He hasn't explained it?" Allaysia pursed her lips and laid the cloth over Tash's eyes. "That's a shame. It's one of my favourite stories. He always said it was one of his, too." She smiled, tracing Tash's jaw with her fingertip. "During the time our mother was pregnant with him, she kept hearing a little boy singing. In the morning, in the middle of the day, at night—wherever and whenever, and always without warning. 'Such a sweet voice,' she'd say, 'so high and sweet like a bird; so warming like a lullaby.' Except whenever she looked, no one was ever there."

  Allaysia soaked a new cloth in the bucket beside her. "It reminded her of the old stories, of Emeraliss and the first of all birds, who was Emeraliss's protector and guardian just as much as he was her companion. Then when Mother saw how blue her baby's eyes were, she knew it was meant to be. She named him Halataldris, born from love; gifted with freedom. Our little bird." She held the cloth to Tash's cheek, biting her lip. "Of course, we never expected him to…"

  She cleared her throat and focused on sweeping the cloth across Tash's face and down his neck.

  Mayr wet his cloth again. He had too many things to ask, none of them what Allaysia would want to hear. Still, he needed to ask them. The truth needed to be said. The questions would never be asked if it were left to Tash. Someone had to do it.

  "Why did you never look for him?" he asked, laying the sopping cloth above the one already over Tash's eyes and nose.

  Her breath caught, and she stilled. "Is that what he thinks? That we just abandoned him like he did us?" Allaysia struggled to look Mayr in the eye. Tears started down her cheeks. "Is that honestly how he feels about us?"