Character, Scene, and Story

by Will Dunne

  6. Work jargon. Many professions have a lingo that affects how people communicate, even when they’re not talking about work. In Glengarry Glen Ross by David Mamet, the term “leads” refers to the names and contact information of people likely to buy real estate. In Proof by David Auburn, the term “proof” refers to a deductive argument for a mathematical statement. Define any important work jargon among your characters.

  7. Famous people. Characters in the world of a story may devote extra attention to certain individuals whom they find interesting. These prominent figures may be heroes or villains, and their fame may be local, global, or historical. In Lakeboat by David Mamet, Skippy is well known on the ship because he may have been mugged during shore leave. In The House of Yes by Wendy MacLeod, John F. and Jacqueline Kennedy have acquired special fame for a brother and sister who do reenactments of the Dallas assassination. Identify any individuals who are famous among your characters.

  8. Famous places. In Macbeth by William Shakespeare, Lady Macbeth might be puzzled if her husband asked her to join him at the Hi Ho. But in William Inge’s Picnic, everyone in town knows that it’s a popular spot to meet for Cokes. In Lettuce & Lovage by Peter Shaffer, the “staircase of ennoblement” is a famous staircase where the Virgin Queen of England slipped and was rescued from falling by her host John Fustian. Identify any well-known places in the world of your story.

  9. Famous events. In my play The Roper, “the war” refers to the American Civil War, “the fire” refers to the Chicago Fire of 1871, and “the blight” refers to the Great Famine in Ireland from 1845 to 1852. In Crimes of the Heart by Beth Henley, “the funeral” refers to the funeral for the sisters’ mother, who committed suicide. Identify any special ways in which your characters refer to important events from their history.

  ■ HOT TOPICS

  To explore the language of your story another way, review the following topics. For each one, identify any special terms related to this topic in the world of your story, and define the terms. Look for new responses that are not already in your phrase book.

  Friend

  Good thing

  Attractive person

  Enemy

  Bad thing

  Unattractive person

  Good person

  Family

  Love

  Bad person

  Money

  Peace

  Sex

  Success

  Death

  Admirable trait

  Failure

  God

  Reviled trait

  Distress

  ■ TOP TERMS

  You’ve been exploring the language of your characters and how it reflects the world they inhabit. As the dramatic journey unfolds, certain terms are more important than others. You can learn more about the world of your story by thinking about the words and phrases that command the greatest attention here or get repeated most often.

  In Doubt by John Patrick Shanley, for example, here are twenty of the most important terms in random order: teachers, students, vigilance, secular, religious, wrongdoing, laziness, certainty, doubt, cleverness, innocence, lying, service, self-indulgence, obedience, satisfaction, evil, wine, fingernails, and ballpoint pens. Without looking back at your script, list twenty of the most important words or phrases in your story. For this round, do not include proper nouns.

  ■ KEY FINDINGS

  Review the terms you’ve identified and defined during the exercise. When viewed collectively, what do these words and phrases suggest about your characters and the world they inhabit? List any new insights you’ve gained.

  WRAP-UP

  Language is a fundamental element of any dramatic script and a powerful tool to reveal character and embody action. As you develop scenes, especially during revision, keep looking for opportunities to enrich the dialogue and use it to make each of your characters distinct and engaging. As you discover new terms for the world of your story, you may find it helpful to add them to the phrase book you’ve started.

  If your story takes place in a time period or culture different from your own, you also may find it useful to keep an etymology dictionary at hand so that you can check whether terms you wish to use are appropriate for the world you’re creating. A number of online etymology sites are available to make this word check quick and easy.

  Related tools in The Dramatic Writer’s Companion. For more about dialogue, go to the “Causing a Scene” section and try any stage 3 exercise, from “Talking and Listening” to “The Bones of the Lines.”

  BETTER LEFT UNSAID

  THE QUICK VERSION

  Explore a character’s subtext during a scene

  BEST TIME FOR THIS

  During scene planning, writing, or revision

  THE SILENT STREAM

  The art of dramatic writing often lies not in the lines of dialogue that characters speak but in the silence between the lines: the realm of subtext, where unspoken thoughts and feelings bring meaning to what the characters say and motivate what they do.

  Whether positive or negative, subtext can sometimes be quite different from the words under which it lies. If a woman tells her boyfriend, “I have to leave now,” she may simply mean that she needs to be elsewhere. Or, depending on the subtext, she might actually mean that she feels nervous about staying here, or that she’s angry about something he did, or that she thinks he’s a loser, or that she wishes he would invite her to stay longer. When it offers hidden truths that can be detected through inference and interpretation, subtext can be a powerful tool to engage the audience in a scene.

  ABOUT THE EXERCISE

  Use this exercise to explore how subtext—unuttered thoughts and feelings—might influence the dramatic action of a scene. Examples are from an early scene in Seminar by Theresa Rebeck, nominated for Best Play in 2011 by both the Drama League and the Outer Critics Circle. The story centers on four young writers in New York who hire an international celebrity teacher to mentor them in an expensive private writing seminar.

  Character 1—who drives most of the action—is Kate, in her thirties. Character 2 is Martin, also in his thirties. Both are aspiring but insecure writers. Their relationship: old friends and members of a writing seminar. The main event of the scene: Kate tries to throw Martin out of her apartment for being an unsupportive friend.

  To prepare for the exercise, choose a scene you wish to develop, identify the two most important characters in it—Characters 1 and 2—and define their relationship. Then sum up the main event of the scene as you see it now: what happens overall.

  ■ SCENIC CONTEXT

  Define the context for the dramatic action.

  1. Setting. The setting for Seminar is Kate’s nine-room apartment on the Upper West Side of Manhattan with a river view. She pays low rent for this prestigious place because it has been in her family and under rent control for years. Define the setting for your scene.

  2. Time. The action begins just after the first session of the writing seminar that meets in Kate’s apartment. Identify the setting for your scene.

  3. Given circumstances. Four writers have each paid $5,000 to participate in a ten-week seminar with Leonard, a pompous celebrity teacher who dislikes Kate and her writing because he assumes she is wealthy. After reading only the first half of the first sentence of her short story, he trashed her writing in front of the others and implied that she is an overeducated, sexually inadequate rich white girl with a Jane Eyre obsession. Kate had been working on the story for six years. Think about the world of your story when your scene begins. Identify any physical, psychological, social, economic, political, or spiritual circumstances that could affect the dramatic action.

  ■ ELEMENTS OF ACTION

  Define the elements of action for a character whose subtext you wish to explore.

  1. Scenic objective. After the tongue-lashing she received from Leonard, Kate wants Martin’s reassurance her that she really is a good writer. Think about what your character wants from whoeve
r else is present. What is the character’s scenic objective?

  2. Conflict. A number of obstacles will make it difficult for Kate to get the moral support she needs. One is her own insecurity about her writing talent. Another is Martin’s tepid response to her short story. What obstacles will make it difficult for your character to achieve the scenic objective here and now?

  3. Motivation. As she fishes for compliments from Martin, Kate’s big dream of becoming a professional writer is at stake. What’s at stake for your character?

  ■ SUBTEXT POSSIBILITIES

  Use the following questions to explore possibilities for your character’s subtext in the scene. These buried truths may rise to the surface later in the story and become text, but for now they are thoughts and feelings that the character wants to hide or avoid discussing. Answer each question in the character’s voice, as if you were writing dialogue, and always reply beyond a simple yes or no. Feel free to repeat information. It may signal that something important is being uncovered.

  To the character here and now

  Is there something important that you are not saying about

  • your physical state or condition, such as your age, ethnicity, health, physical habits, mental acuity, or use of medications or mood-altering drugs?

  • something that you have discovered?

  • something that you want to obtain or to achieve?

  • your plans for the near or distant future?

  • a recent development in your life that has you worried or afraid?

  • an experience that has made you angry?

  • an experience that has made you feel embarrassed or ashamed?

  • your current living situation?

  • events involving a family member or close friend?

  • your love life?

  • your financial status?

  • a new development or change in your community?

  • your political beliefs?

  • your religious or spiritual beliefs?

  • a significant success that you achieved in the recent or distant past?

  • a significant failure or loss that you have suffered?

  • your true feelings, positive or negative, about whoever else is here now?

  • something you know about the other character that he or she doesn’t realize?

  • your true feelings about someone else whom you both know?

  • a secret about someone else whom you both know?

  ■ MAIN SUBTEXT AND ITS IMPACT

  You’ve been exploring what your character might think and feel but not say during a scene. From the possibilities you identified, focus now on what matters most and answer the following questions not as the character but as the writer.

  1. Main subtext. In Seminar there are a number of things that Kate thinks and feels but does not say to Martin. Her main subtext is her fear that Leonard may be right: she’s a failed writer with a lousy short story. Review your exercise findings and identify the most important thing that your character is not saying during your scene.

  2. Reason for silence. Kate not only spent $5,000 on a writing seminar but also agreed to host it at her apartment. These facts would only add to her humiliation if her fears about her writing talent proved to be true. Think about your character’s main subtext. What is the reason for not discussing this with whoever else is here now?

  3. Impact on emotion. Kate’s unspoken feelings about her writing talent make her extremely anxious and upset. How does your character’s main subtext affect him or her emotionally at any time during the scene?

  4. Impact on thought. At first, Kate views Martin as a friend who can rescue her from the pain of Leonard’s abusive critique. Then her fears gradually lead to the perception that Martin is not really a friend and that nobody likes her or her writing. How might your character’s main subtext affect his or her thoughts and perceptions during the scene?

  5. Impact on behavior. Kate’s hidden angst leads her to eat comfort food obsessively, fish for compliments from Martin, and beg for his reassurances that she really is a good writer. When Martin fails to provide the support she needs, Kate attempts to throw him out her apartment. What are at least three examples of how your character’s main subtext might affect his or her behavior during your scene?

  WRAP-UP

  As you write and revise your script, beware of dialogue that expresses everything a character thinks and feels. By articulating less and leaving room for interpretation, you are more likely to tap the talents of your actors and to engage the audience as they lean forward to read between the lines.

  Related tools in The Dramatic Writer’s Companion. To continue exploring subtext, try “The Secret Lives of Characters” in the “Developing Your Character” section and “Unspeakable Truths” in the “Causing a Scene” section.

  ANATOMY OF SPEECH

  THE QUICK VERSION

  Revise and edit the dialogue of a scene

  BEST TIME FOR THIS

  After you have completed a draft

  A TECHNICAL LOOK AT DIALOGUE

  When starting a new scene, you are most likely focused on who will be in it and what will happen between them at this particular time in the story. Ideally, the dialogue you write will reveal important information about these characters, embody their intentions, and move the story forward by leading to a new event in the dramatic journey.

  Once you know what happens in your story and are ready to revise and edit scenes, you can strengthen your script by reviewing the dialogue from a technical perspective. This is different from the approach you first used to develop the scene, and the shift in perspective may help you see your words in a new light.

  ABOUT THE EXERCISE

  This technical exercise can help you edit the dialogue of a scene. Use any or all of the following nine rounds of questions to identify lines that need to be clarified, condensed, or cut. The terms line and speech are used here interchangeably to mean what a character says at one time. This can be as short as one word or as long as several pages.

  ■ DRAMATIC QUALITY: ONE AT A TIME

  During the revision process, it is important to remember that a dramatic story is more about what the characters do than about what they say. Unlike everyday conversation, dialogue is heightened language that usually embodies a character’s efforts to affect someone else in an important way. This translates technically into objectives and the strategies and tactics that characters use to achieve them.

  To review your dialogue, focus on one character at a time, and read only his or her lines from the beginning of the scene to the end. This isolation technique will highlight what each character is doing and can help you pinpoint problem areas. Keep these questions in mind as you evaluate the dramatic quality of each character’s lines:

  1. What does the character want?

  2. What different strategies does the character use to achieve this objective?

  3. What line of dialogue begins each new strategy? This is a line where a new topic is introduced or where the character’s behavior has clearly changed.

  4. Within each strategy, do the lines reflect what the character is doing now?

  5. Does the character change strategies enough to keep the action from getting stale?

  6. Does the character spend too much time on any single strategy, particularly one that is clearly not working?

  7. Do any of the character’s strategies feel underdeveloped?

  8. Can any strategies be eliminated because they are redundant or unnecessary?

  9. The importance of dialogue can be measured by how much it reveals about the characters and moves the story forward. What are the character’s three most important speeches in the scene, and why?

  10. Is the importance of these speeches clear, or do they need further development?

  ■ CLARITY

  Suspense stems from knowledge more than lack of knowledge. To remain engaged in a story, the audience thus needs to know what’s happening or at l
east have enough information to ask the right questions. Review the dialogue of your scene as if you were the audience hearing it for the first time.

  1. Are there any lines that could be confusing to the audience?

  2. Are there any critical terms within the lines that the audience might not know?

  3. When a line includes a pronoun, is it clear to whom or what it refers?

  4. How likely is it that the audience will understand any references to characters who are not present? To events that happened elsewhere or earlier in the story?

  5. What clues, if any, need to be added to the dialogue to remind the audience of information they learned earlier or to communicate the meaning of a new reference?

  ■ EXPOSITION

  An explanation of something that cannot be observed here and now is called exposition. It is an important part of dramatic storytelling, but it also can bring the dramatic action to a halt. For best results, keep exposition to a minimum, and don’t reveal it until the story has raised questions that make the audience want to know what they’re missing.