To Find Her Place

by Susan Anne Mason

  But why would he have come into town on a Sunday afternoon?

  She dried her hands on her apron, pulled on her bulky cable-knit sweater, and followed an excited Martin to the door.

  Sure enough, Ben’s red truck was parked in front. Blackie stood in the back of the vehicle, his tail wagging furiously. When he spied Martin, the dog jumped out onto the ground and dashed toward the boy.

  “Blackie! You’re here.” Martin knelt and buried his face in the dog’s fur. Blackie’s whole body wriggled with joy as he licked the boy’s face.

  Ben came around the front of the vehicle, dressed in his usual plaid shirt and denim overalls, this time with a sheepskin coat over top. “Hello, Jane. Hope you don’t mind us dropping by unannounced.”

  “Not at all, Ben.” She smiled and stepped off the porch, pulling her sweater tighter. It was growing colder by the minute. They would probably get their first real snowfall of the season soon. “Thank you for bringing Blackie. I hope you didn’t come all this way just for that.”

  Ben’s eyes twinkled. “Not just that. I have something else to deliver too.”

  It was then she noticed someone in the passenger seat. The door opened, and a pair of long legs swung out, followed by the end of a wooden cane.

  Jane’s heart froze in her chest. Her gaze traveled up from the legs to the man attempting to stand.

  Garrett!

  Her lungs stopped working as she drank in the sight of him, so handsome in a black corduroy jacket and tan-colored pants. His dark hair was longer than usual, but his vivid blue eyes were exactly as she remembered. She wanted to run across the lawn to help him, but her feet remained fixed to the walkway. Once he gained his balance with the aid of his cane, he stood smiling at her for a second before taking a halting step forward.

  Jane’s hand flew to her mouth. She looked at Ben. “He can walk?”

  “Yes, ma’am. And after practicing for a day or so, the first thing he wanted to do was come here.”

  Tears burned her eyes. She blinked hard and moved toward him but came to a halt, unsure what to do next. She longed to throw her arms around him but worried they might topple to the ground.

  Instead, she smiled through her tears. “When did this happen?”

  “Friday afternoon. Around four twenty to be exact.” Garrett’s grin was a wonderful sight to behold. Joy radiated from his face, making his eyes even more vibrant.

  He looked beyond her. “Hey, Martin. Will you take my dad inside to say hello to your grandmother?”

  “Sure, Mr. Wilder. Thank you for letting me have Blackie.”

  “You’re welcome. I’ll bring the rest of his things inside in a minute. I need to talk to Jane first.”

  Despite the cold bite to the air, a wave of heat rose through Jane’s neck and cheeks. “Do you want to sit on the porch?”

  “If you don’t mind, I’d prefer to stand for a bit. I’ve had enough sitting these last few weeks, and I’m still trying to strengthen my legs. Get them used to moving again.”

  Moisture dampened her cheeks. As much as she tried, she couldn’t seem to stem the flow of her tears. “This is such wonderful news. I’ve been praying so hard for you.”

  He reached over to thumb away the moisture. “I know you have.”

  “I called every day.”

  “I know that too.”

  “But you wouldn’t talk to me.”

  “I’m sorry.” He lowered his chin, his expression contrite. “I couldn’t let myself until I knew if I would ever walk again. It was prideful, I know. But I needed to come to terms with my situation before I made any major decisions about my life.”

  She searched his face, needing honesty. “And what if you never could walk again? Would you have come to see me? Or would you have just left me when things got bad, like Donald did?”

  He winced, an expression of sorrow flashing over his face. “I never meant to hurt you, Jane. I was trying to protect you.”

  “I didn’t need protecting,” she said softly. “I told you it didn’t matter to me. That I loved you no matter what.”

  He let out a contrite sigh. “I’m pretty sure I would have broken down and come to see you eventually. I don’t think I’m strong enough to stay away from you. I never have been.”

  She lifted her chin. “And do you promise never to shut me out again?” She waited, her heart thudding hard, needing the reassurance that he could be the man she needed. The one who would walk beside her through all life’s ups and downs.

  His beautiful blue eyes grew damp. “I do. I promise to share everything with you—the good and the bad. I can’t believe I forgot what a good team we make.”

  One arm came around her as he drew her toward him. Then, slowly, he brought his lips down to meet hers. Her whole being sighed in response. At last, her soul seemed to say. At last, everything in the universe had come into perfect alignment. How she’d missed him. The feel of his arms, his warm lips on hers. He pulled away too soon for her liking, but she rested her head against his shoulder, inhaling the clean scent of him.

  “I’ve waited so long to do that,” he breathed into her hair. “At times, I thought I’d never be able to hold you like this again.”

  The urge to give in and weep almost overwhelmed her, but she wouldn’t cry any more than she already had. He deserved a celebration, not tears. “I’ve missed you too. So very much.”

  He brushed another quick kiss against her lips, then smiled. “I have something for you. Wait here.” With the aid of his cane, he walked carefully across the hard brown lawn to the truck, reached inside the open door, and came back with a glass container in one hand.

  He handed her the Mason jar decorated with a red-checked cloth and tied with twine. “It’s Mom’s homemade applesauce. She wanted you to have the recipe—including her secret ingredient.”

  Jane stared at the slip of paper attached to the jar. Though she was flattered that Sarah would entrust her with a family secret, she couldn’t quite hide her disappointment. She’d thought it was a gift from Garrett, something more personal. “Tell her thank you. We’ll enjoy this with our dessert tonight.”

  Smiling, he pointed to the lid. “There’s something else.” A twinkle lit his eyes.

  Sure enough, something gleamed from within the large twine bow. Nerves fluttered to life in her belly. “Is this . . . ?”

  He leaned his cane against the porch, then reached over, untied the bow, and removed a ring. The diamond glinted in the light as he held it out to her with unsteady fingers. “I love you, Jane, more than I ever thought possible. I know now, with absolute certainty, that my place is with you, and I don’t want to spend another day without you. Will you marry me? Will you and Martin be my family?”

  More tears blurred her vision. She couldn’t seem to find the words to speak. She pressed her fingers to her trembling lips.

  “I would get down on one knee, but right now, I’m not sure I could get back up again.” He searched her face, a hint of uncertainty mixed with the amusement in his eyes.

  She bobbed her head. “Yes, Garrett. I’d be honored to marry you.”

  A smile broke free as he slipped the ring on her finger. “A perfect fit. Just like you.”

  Then he gathered her to him for another kiss. This time he seemed steadier, wrapping both his arms around her, as though he never intended to let her go.

  Loud cheering from behind them broke through the haze of their embrace. Jane swiped the happy tears from her cheeks as her mother and Ben came toward them.

  Mama beamed at her. “Congratulations, Janey. I’m so happy for you.”

  “Thank you, Mama.”

  Ben kissed her and shook Garrett’s hand.

  Martin stood a little behind, his hand on Blackie’s back, unsmiling.

  Jane’s spirits deflated at his grim expression. Should she have asked Martin first before she accepted? “Martin, what do you think about having Mr. Wilder for a dad?”

  When he didn’t answer right away, her in
sides twisted harder. Had she made a mistake? She went to kneel in front of him. “What is it? You can tell me.”

  Martin looked at her with hurt-filled eyes. “If you and Mr. Wilder get married, you’ll have babies and forget about me.”

  “Oh, honey, that’s not true.”

  Garrett came to stand beside her and laid a hand on Martin’s shoulder. “First of all, even if we did have more children, we would never forget about you, son. That’s a promise. And second—” Garrett glanced at Jane, his gaze seeking permission. She nodded. “The doctors have told Jane she can’t have any babies, so that’s not going to happen.”

  “Oh.” Martin’s brows rose.

  “One day, though,” Garrett continued, “we might want to adopt another boy or girl who needs a home, like you did. But we’d make sure that you’re included, and we’d decide together as a family. Does that sound fair?”

  “I guess so.”

  Jane opened her arms, and Martin came to her for a hug. She held on tight, relishing these rare moments, knowing the time might soon come where he wouldn’t want a hug from his mother. She squeezed him and kissed his cheek. “You will always be very important to me, no matter what happens in our lives. I hope you believe that.”

  He smiled then, relief spreading over his features. “I do, Mom. You always keep your promises.”

  She hugged him again. “I try my best. Even if it takes a long time.”

  As she headed back toward the house, Jane reflected on the truth of that statement and how the same could be said of God. He always kept His promises, even if it seemed to take a long time.

  On the porch, Garrett pulled her gently against him for another slow kiss, one that sealed his promise for a lifetime of happiness ahead. They’d already proven that they could weather any storm—even an ice storm—together. Jane was more than ready to see what else life had in store for them, knowing with complete certainty now that they’d face both the good and the bad together.

  She smiled up into Garrett’s eyes, amazed at how God had taken three broken and wounded people and knit them together to form the perfect family. One she would cherish for the rest of her days.

  Epilogue

  May 1945

  Standing in the Wilders’ farmhouse on a bright Saturday afternoon, Jane surveyed the scene before her with a grateful heart. Little Shannon, the newest addition to her and Garrett’s family, sat at the kitchen table with Mandy, both girls engrossed in drawing pictures of the barn kittens they’d just been out to see. Drawing was far too sedate an activity for Kevin, Dale, and Martin, who opted to stay outside with Ben, which suited Jane just fine. Shannon was still adjusting to her new family and sometimes found the three boys overly rambunctious.

  Jane walked over and laid a gentle hand on the girl’s shoulder, eliciting the barest of smiles. Dr. Henshaw had brought the orphaned four-year-old into the shelter three weeks ago and, knowing that Jane and Garrett were hoping to adopt another child, had called them right away. It had taken Jane all of five minutes to fall in love with the tiny redhead, and once they’d gotten Martin’s approval, they’d eagerly applied to be Shannon’s foster parents.

  Garrett came into the kitchen and winked at Jane, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he crossed the room toward her.

  Her pulse sped up at the intimate expression that crept across his face. Today they were celebrating their first wedding anniversary. She wasn’t sure what he had planned, but knowing her husband, it would surely be memorable.

  “Are you ready to get out of here for a while?” he whispered in her ear.

  “Why? Where are we going?”

  “You’ll see.” His mischievous grin made her pulse soar.

  Sarah poked her head out of the pantry. “Don’t worry about the kids. Ben and I will keep them busy.”

  Sarah had been thrilled with the addition of Shannon to the family. “The more Wilders the better,” she’d said. “And Mandy will love having another girl around.” A statement that had proven true, as the girls had already become fast friends.

  The banging back door announced Martin’s arrival. He headed straight to the sink to wash his hands.

  Jane went over to join him. “Dad and I are going out for a while. Will you help Grandma and Grandpa and watch out for Shannon while we’re gone?”

  “Sure.” He wiped his hands dry on a towel. “I guess it’s my job now if I’m going to be her big brother.”

  Jane’s throat tightened, and she squeezed him in a warm hug. “You’re amazing, Martin Wilder. I’m so proud of you.”

  He shrugged out of her embrace. At ten years old, he’d begun to tolerate her hugs less often. “That’s not my name yet.”

  Garrett came up behind them. “Maybe not, but it won’t be long now. Only a few more months until the adoption is final.” He winked at him. “Then you’re stuck with us for good.”

  Martin grinned. “Nope. You’re stuck with me.”

  Jane blinked hard to stem the happy tears forming, still unable to believe how incredibly fortunate she was to have this amazing family.

  Garrett hummed to himself as he steered his dad’s truck down the gravel lane toward the orchard. Although he loved spending time with his family, he couldn’t deny the thrill of having his wife all to himself, even if only for a few hours.

  And on this special day, he couldn’t help but marvel at all the blessings in his life and at the changes that had occurred recently. Only days ago, the whole city had celebrated the surrender of Germany with a ticker tape parade and dancing in the streets. He and Jane had joined in the festivities, reveling in unbridled joy with their fellow Torontonians.

  Their happiness, however, had been tempered with sorrow when Hildie had received official word of Brandon’s death. Though his remains had never been found, eyewitness accounts of the last battle he’d been in seemed enough for the military to finally upgrade his status from Presumed Dead to Killed in Action. Jane and Hildie had taken the news with stoic realism, having come to terms with the inevitable outcome long ago.

  The truck’s tires hit a rut, lifting Jane and Garrett off the bench seat to come down with a hard thud. He grinned over at Jane.

  “Watch it, Mr. Broncobuster.” She shot him a mock glare. “Just because your back is healed doesn’t mean you need to be reckless.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” His grin widened until she burst out laughing and shook her head. She looked so pretty today that he was having a hard time keeping his attention on the road.

  “I take it we’re heading to the orchard?”

  “That’s right. Can’t miss the apple blossoms. If we don’t go now, they might be finished by the next time we’re here.”

  “True. I bet Martin and Shannon would love to . . .” She trailed off and gave him an apologetic shrug. “Sorry. I said we wouldn’t talk about the kids, but it’s so hard not to.”

  “I was thinking the same thing.” He gave her a warm look. “But I was also thinking about our wedding day one year ago. It was an even nicer day than this, with the leaves in full greenery, and, of course, the gorgeous blooms.”

  “I’m so glad we decided to have our reception here. I can’t think of a more perfect place.”

  They’d been married in the Huttonville Community Church in an intimate ceremony. Afterward, a few friends and neighbors had joined them for the outdoor reception near the orchard.

  It had been a magical afternoon. One he’d never forget.

  He reached over to take Jane’s hand. “Everything about that day was perfect. Especially the bride. You never looked more beautiful.”

  “Thank you.” Her cheeks grew rosy. “My dress today is almost the same color as the one I wore then.”

  “Mm-hmm. And almost as breathtaking.”

  Jane hadn’t wanted to wear white, since it was her second marriage. Garrett hadn’t cared what she wore as long as she showed up at the church. And truly, with her hair wreathed in spring flowers and a bouquet to match, she’d looked lovelier than he cou
ld have imagined.

  He stopped the truck near the orchard and went around to help her out, unable to resist pulling her into his arms for a lingering kiss. “Happy anniversary, Mrs. Wilder.”

  “Happy anniversary.” She gazed at him with such love that his heart seemed to swell in his chest. She placed a palm against his jaw in a soft caress. “I never imagined my life could be this wonderful. And it’s all because of you.” Then she leaned in to kiss him again.

  “I think the Lord might have had more to do with it than me, but I’ll gladly take the credit.” He laughed out loud, a sound so liberating it felt his soul could break free to fly above the treetops.

  She laughed too, then sobered. “Do you think Shannon is doing all right?” She searched his face so earnestly that he had to kiss her again.

  “She’s still grieving the loss of her mother and adjusting to life with us. But overall, I’d say she’s doing fine.”

  “Sometimes, when I go into her room at night, I find her sleeping on the floor. Why would she do that when she has a comfortable bed to sleep in?”

  He drew her closer, needing to ease the worry from her brow. “Remember what Dr. Henshaw told us. Shannon and her mother had been living in the slums in a one-room hovel. She’s probably used to sleeping on the floor.” He tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “It will take a little time until she adjusts completely. You’re doing everything possible to show her she’s safe and loved.”

  Jane sighed. “I guess you’re right. It just hurts my heart to see her that way.”

  “Spoken like a true mother.” He kissed her nose, then reached into the back of the truck for the picnic basket and a blanket. “How about we get this celebration started?”

  When Garrett smiled down at her with such love, Jane’s heart did a slow roll in her chest. What had she done to deserve such a wonderful man in her life? One who would do anything to please her, including adopting another child?