by Eric Vall
The three succubi and the cultist snuggled in close, and they were out like lights within minutes.
My entire body was on pins and needles. I couldn’t tell if it was just from the exhaustion from pleasuring four women at once or if it was my powers growing stronger from our deeper connection.
Either way, it was strangely euphoric.
I glanced over at the rustic antique clock that hung on the bedroom wall. It was only one in the afternoon, and Gula and Tris’ party wasn’t set to start until eight. If my math was correct, and it was a four-hour drive to the venue, then we had a three-hour buffer for some rest and relaxation.
I closed my eyes and felt myself begin to drift off.
We needed all the sleep we could get, because in a few hours we were gonna party the night away.
Chapter 8
“You guys were in there forever, bro,” Todd pointed out as Jane, the succubi, and I walked back into the living room. “Do you even have any fluid left in your body, or is it like the Sahara Desert all up in your schlong?”
“A gentleman never kisses and tells,” I joked back to the imp.
Ira and Todd were both chilling on the couch, passing a joint back and forth. Meanwhile, Oliver was passed out in the leather recliner and snoring loudly.
“We only made love for an hour or two.” Liby shrugged. “We were asleep the rest of the time.”
“Oh,” Ira cooed happily. “I can’t wait until I get a go at Jacob! That sounds delightful.”
“You were more than welcome to join us,” Sia mused. “The more the merrier.”
“Like I said,” the crazy-eyed succubus grinned, “when I get Jacob, I want him all to myself.”
“Wait,” Todd said as he shook his head. “You mean the Toddster could have been taking a nap this whole time? I’m currently running on a cocktail of Red Bull, Monster, Nos, and a teensy-weensy bit of Jager to stay awake.”
“How has your heart not exploded out of your chest?” I uttered in disbelief. “That’s enough caffeine to bring down a horse.”
Todd shrugged. “I seriously think it’s the weed, bro.” He nodded toward the joint in his hand. “This Canadian Moose Tranquilizer makes me as mellow as a koala.”
“You’re smoking animal tranquilizers?” Cupi asked in disbelief.
“That’s just the brand name,” I explained to the blonde. “It’s not really tranquilizers.”
“Brand name?” the succubus asked curiously.
“It’s the thing companies use to differentiate their product from the rest on the market in this capitalist society,” Todd added sarcastically. “Get with the program, Cupi, geez.”
Cupi stuck her tongue out at the imp, who responded with a funny face of his own.
“Maybe it’s a good thing you’re all hopped up on caffeine,” I mused. “We still have a long night ahead of us. One of dancing, drinking, and hopefully a little bit of--”
“Fucking?” Todd sighed. “You really got a one-track mind, bro.”
“I was gonna say ‘recruiting,’” I corrected, “but I could go for either.”
“You better be careful, Jakey,” Todd warned. “Too much yogurt-squirting can lead to dehydration. I know, I had to go to the ER for it once.”
“You had to go to the ER because you whacked it too much?” I tried to hold in my chuckle.
“Technically, it was a case of severe dehydration and repeated spasms in my right arm,” Todd explained. “Long story short, don’t go for the marathon session unless you’ve got some orange slices and a gallon of water handy.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I lied and turned back to my friends. “We need to head out there pretty soon if we’re going to make Gula and Tris’ party.”
“Unfortunately, I’m going to sit this one out,” Sia said sadly. “There is still much work to be done at the Velvet Lips. Once I actually sat down and started crunching the numbers, I found it is actually in much worse shape than we thought.”
“Oh, so that’s it?” I joked. “Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am?”
“More like ‘suck, go, thank you, bro’ in your case,” Todd snickered.
“I’ll still be around,” Sia mused. “I’m going to need a release every now and again.”
I wrapped my arm playfully around the tiny redhead. “What, am I only a piece of meat to you?” I asked sarcastically. “Use me at your convenience?”
“Don’t tempt me,” Ira cooed from her seat. “Just the thought is making my dom half go crazy.”
“Of course not,” Sia said as she gave me a peck on the cheek, “but I think maybe it would be good for you to take Ira on this adventure. She has yet to be fully initiated into the group.”
“Translation,” Todd interrupted, “she needs to fuck Jakey, and putting the two of them in a life-and-death situation together is the best way to get that to happen.”
“Sold!” Ira jumped up from the couch and threw her hands into the air. “I will join you on your quest.”
“What about you, Jane?” I turned to the brunette. “You up for catching two more succubi?”
Jane shook her head. “Not this time, Jacob,” she retorted and pointed to the sleeping Oliver. “Lately, he’s been slacking in doing his cult leader duties. Did you know we’ve only done three blood rituals in the last month? That’s a new low for us.”
“Uh … you’re still doing those?” I asked cautiously.
“Relax,” the brunette said with a wave of her hand. “We don’t use real animals or humans anymore. It’s more of a symbolic ritual than anything, but it’s still very important for us to retain our comradery as a cult and keep our power levels up. Then there’s the demon-hunting thing … ”
“How’s that going?” I questioned.
“We’re actually doing pretty good for a bunch of mortal cultists,” Jane admitted. “I just got word from the sect out in Florida they killed the demon Dagon--”
“Wait,” Sia said, her eyes wide. “How did they manage to bring down Dagon?”
“Is that a big deal?” I asked, also confused. “I mean the name sounds kind of familiar … ” I shrugged.
“Dagon is the god of the Philistines, bro,” Todd said as he patted his knee. “Why don’t you let Doctor Todd educate you?”
“I’m not sitting on your knee.” I sighed.
“Just say ‘no homo’ first, bro. It’s fine.” Todd waited a beat, and when I didn’t move, he smirked. “Anyway, remember all the Old Testament stuff with the Philistines?”
“Not really.” I scrubbed my face with my hands. “In fact, I barely remember anything other than there was a flood and an apple … ”
“Dagon was a very powerful demon in the past,” Sia interrupted. “I’d heard he’d fallen, but even still, how could they defeat him?”
“We were able to lure him into a trap. Even then, it was a brutal battle, especially because he was hopped up on bath salts, but they pulled it out in the end.” Jane smiled. “We wanted to make you proud, Jacob.”
“Florida, bro.” Todd shuddered. “Not even once.”
“I am proud,” I smiled at her, and she flushed.
“Under your leadership,” Jane continued, “the Cult of Ralston has slain nearly one-hundred demons on the list. Mostly thanks to your ever-growing power levels.”
“Aw, shucks,” I said humbly. “You’ve helped with that too, you know. You’ve helped a lot.”
Jane glanced downward as her face grew red.
“I think I’m gonna hurl,” Todd gagged. “Can we just get on with it? The sooner we get to this party, the higher the chances the Toddster can score!”
I raised an eyebrow and looked over at the imp. “What makes you think you’re gonna score at this party? It’s gonna be full of paranormal fanatics who are crazy enough to believe Tris and Gula work for Azazel. Not to mention, they’re all gonna be drunk and stoned off their ass.”
Todd fell to his knees and clasped his hands together with a grin. “My people.”
“He does have a point,” Sia added. “If Todd has any chance of ‘getting lucky,’ it’d be there.”
“Are you sure you two don’t want to go?” I asked once more to Jane and Sia. “It’s gonna be a blast.”
“Next time, maybe,” Jane winked.
“Surely there are still plenty more demons out there to defeat,” Sia continued. “There will be many more chances for us to, ahem, work together, but for now, we need to work on stabilizing your growing influence. If you keep expanding at this rate, Jacob, you’ll have influence over the entire Southwest in no time at all. Maybe eventually even over the entire country.”
I rubbed my chin thoughtfully. “I do like the sound of that,” I conceded.
“Brrrrooooo.” Todd was now tugging at my pant leg to get my attention. “Let’s go. Strawberry Shortcake and Jane Doe here can handle themselves just fine, and I’m like, positive, they’ll be waiting for you when you get back. Probably as wet as a tsunami and everything.”
“He’s not wrong.” Ira giggled.
“Uh … on that note,” I tried to change the subject, “let’s get going.”
“Should we wake Oliver and tell him what’s going on?” Libidine asked innocently. “I’d hate to leave without saying goodbye to one of our friends.”
“He’ll be fine,” Jane reassured. “It’s better to let him get his beauty sleep. I woke him up in the middle of a nap once, and it was one of the worst mistakes I’ve ever made. Let’s just say, things were destroyed.”
Todd sauntered over to the white-haired man and raised a clawed finger into the air. “That makes me wanna poke the bear even more.”
“Don’t you dare,” Jane warned.
“Why not?” the imp asked. “It’d be funny as hell.”
“Bro, she said it’s a bad idea,” I reiterated. “That’s an order.”
“Awwwwww!” Todd sighed and hung his head. “I wanted to see shit get blown up.”
“I’m sure you’ll get your fill of explosions, Todd,” Cupi spoke up. “Aruna’s surely going to be on the trail of our sisters as well.”
“Ooohhh,” Todd perked up. “Maybe her and Jakey will get into an epic sword fight atop two moving vehicles? Or maybe they’ll end up getting into one of those ‘fight until they fuck’ situations? The possibilities are endless!”
“As long as I get to be in on option two,” Ira cooed. “If it happens, of course.”
The three succubi and Todd turned and walked toward the door, leaving me alone with Sia and Jane. I gave both of them a smile.
“Good luck, girls,” I said as I gave each of them a hug.
“I hope we make you proud, Jacob,” Sia answered.
“You already have,” I said overdramatically and then turned to follow the others.
“Such a romantic,” I heard Jane muse from behind as I headed toward the door of our mansion.
Todd and the succubi were already in the car when I got there, all buckled up and ready to go.
“Yeesh, Jakey,” Todd scoffed as I climbed into the vehicle. “Did you try to get in a quickie before we left?”
“No, I was just--”
Todd’s face contorted into a look of horror. “Oliver was right there, bro!” he gasped. “That poor old geezer is gonna wake up wondering why everything around him is so sticky. Little will he know … ”
“I was just saying goodbye,” I explained.
“With your penis?” the imp shot back without missing a beat.
I rolled my eyes. “With my mouth.”
“Ahhh,” Todd winked, “you gave ‘em the ‘ol tongue lashing, eh? Got it.”
“I could use a good tongue lashing.” Ira sighed as I turned the keys and kicked Shadow into gear. “I haven’t had one of those in years. Well, other than from my dom half, of course, but at that point, it’s essentially masturbation, and that gets tiring after a while.”
“Not if you’re doing it right,” Todd snickered.
“Can we talk about something other than touching ourselves?” I asked as we headed toward the interstate. “Maybe we could focus on the mission ahead?”
“Right,” Cupi agreed from the back of the Jeep. “Gula and Tris made no effort to hide their location, so surely they know we are going to find them, Aruna included.”
“I think you give too much credit to Sister Tris,” Libidine interjected. “She’s named after Sloth for a reason. I doubt she’s even given a second thought to her plan since she came up with it. And as for making an adjustment? Not on her life.”
“Still,” Cupi argued, “I’d imagine they’re going to have beefed-up security, or at least, they’re going to be on high alert.”
“I still think you’re giving them too much credit,” Liby retorted. “I’ll be shocked if Tris and Gula have deviated from their original plan at all.”
“Didn’t Tris get in trouble the last time she was on Earth?” I asked. “I remember you mentioning she wasn’t allowed back on Earth Realm any more because she disobeyed her masters?”
I looked up in the rearview mirror and saw Cupi give a slight nod.
“She got a little too into this realm’s Earthly pleasures,” the blonde succubus confirmed. “Tris went off the grid for awhile, and Earl finally had to send his minions after her. Once she was back in Hell, he tortured her and refused to let her leave ever again.”
“And Azazel trusts her?” I scoffed.
“I doubt he does,” Cupi continued, “but what choice does he have at this point? It’s either those two, or Invidia. If I know Azazel, he’s going to hang onto Invidia until his dying breath.”
“Why the fuck do they still do his bidding then?” I said angrily. “He’s the one who had her tortured and keeps her on such a tight leash. Why can’t they just see life would be so much better on our side?”
I felt Liby’s soft hand reach up and touch my shoulder tenderly.
“Because, like so many of us before her, they fear Azazel,” she explained. “If something were to ever happen to you, he would take all of us back, and if that happened, I don’t even want to think about all the terrible things he’d do to us.”
“It’s like you talked about before,” Todd spoke up. “Is it better to be loved or feared? You know, Manicotti.”
“Machiavelli,” I corrected.
“Look, bro,” Todd said as he reached into the glove compartment. “I’m only repeating what you said. You’re the expert here, not me.”
“Not I, you mean,” I corrected.
Todd pulled out a joint, rolled down the window slightly, and then lit it with a flash of red Hellfire.
“See?” he laughed. “You’re the brains of the whole operation. I’m just the brawn. And the comic relief. And the dashing good looks.”
“Oh, oh!” Ira jumped up and down in her seat. “Now do us.”
“Hmmmm,” Todd pondered as he took a long drag.
The imp stroked his chin for a moment as he pondered, and then his eyes lit up. He turned around in the seat and pointed at Cupi.
“The Bodacious Blonde is the warrior,” he explained. “She’s the one who’s gonna kick ass and take names. A little hotheaded, but totally deadly.”
“I don’t know whether to kiss you or throw you out the window,” Cupi said sarcastically.
“That’s the spirit!” Todd exclaimed.
The imp then slid across the seat and pointed to Libidine. “You,” Todd started, “you are the innocent and wide-eyed one of the group. Or at least, as innocent and wide-eyed as a schlong vampire can be.”
“I believe the word you are looking for is ‘optimist,’” the dark-haired succubus said with pride. “Though I’m not familiar with this ‘schlong vampire’ you are referring to.”
“You don’t--” I began to warn the succubus, but Todd was too fast.
“Schlong vampire,” he explained. “You’re like a vampire, but instead of needing blood to survive, you need the love juices out of Jakey’s third arm.”
“Jake has a third arm?
” Ira said in disbelief. “Why didn’t any of you tell me about that? I’m sure it makes lovemaking all the more intense.”
“Oh, it does,” Cupi smirked, “but Todd’s talking about Jacob’s manhood.”
“I could see how it could be mistaken for an arm.” Ira nodded and then poked Todd on the shoulder. “What about me? You never said which one of the group I am.”
“Welp, Crazy Horse,” Todd pondered aloud. “You haven’t been with us very long, but I can already tell you’re the Leroy Jenkins of our group.”
“Who’s that?” Ira asked her sisters.
Both of the women shrugged helplessly.
“No … ” Todd said with a small gasp. “None of you have ever seen that video? Jakey, I’ve got a lot of education to give these girls when we get back from the party.”
“He’s basically saying you don’t have a single fuck to give,” I tried to explain.
“But that’s not true at all,” Ira scoffed. “I’m a succubus and a dominatrix at that. I have plenty of fucks to give!”
“No.” I shook my head and tried to think of a better way to word my answer. “Like, you don’t have any care in the world, and you don’t care about consequences.”
“You’re in it for the lulz,” Todd added.
“I’ve never heard this term before,” Ira said blankly.
Todd took another drag, rubbed his forehead, and sighed. “There are so many sites I need to show you when we get back. You all have much to learn, my young apprentices.”
We continued the drive for another two hours until we were only a few miles away from the Nevada border. It was later in the afternoon, but the desert climate was out in full force. The heat from the sun still shimmered off the dark pavement of the highway like a mirage, and the cabin of Shadow was getting warmer by the minute. Even with the AC at full blast, it was still an uncomfortable drive. It would be dusk soon, and hopefully, that would squelch some of the insufferable warmth.