by Eric Vall
“Jacob,” Cupi suddenly spoke up, “I think we’re being followed.”
“What do you mean?” I asked as I surveyed the rearview mirror.
The only thing I could see was a silver Camero a few miles behind us.
“Relax, Cupi,” I sighed. “It’s probably just another person trying to make it across the border. This is a major interstate, after all.”
“I just--I have a really bad feeling about that car,” the blonde reiterated.
“Uh, Jakey?” Todd interrupted. “I think I agree with Ms. Warrior back there. That sexy beast is rolling up on us pretty fast.”
“They’re probably just--”
“Duck!” Ira screamed.
I tossed my head down right as the back window of Shadow was shattered. I felt the projectile zip past my head, but its momentum had been slowed enough it just bounced off the front windshield. The weapon fell down into the seat between Todd and me.
It was a chakram.
Aruna was following us.
Chapter 9
“I gotta admit, Jakey,” Todd picked up the chakram and examined it in his hands. “This chick’s got balls, and not, like, in the ‘you looked feminine on your profile picture’ kinda way.”
“Todd’s right,” Ira mused. “There are five powerful magic users in this vehicle, and Aruna throws a circle of metal at us? I admire the insanity.”
“Then we’ll just have to show her exactly how badly she fucked up,” Cupi growled.
In the mirror, I saw the blonde twist her body around toward our assailant and unleash a blast of blue Hellfire through the newly-made hole in the Jeep. With a screech of tires, Aruna’s Camaro lurched to the left and dodged the attack.
“Why isn’t she returning fire?” Liby asked with concern in her voice.
“I’ll tell ya why.” Todd turned around and waved the chakram above his head mockingly. “It’s because the moron went ahead and gave away her most important weapon!”
The second after the words left Todd’s mouth, the tiny imp’s body was tugged violently over the seat. He let out a scream of terror as the chakram pulled him toward the opening in the back of Shadow, directly toward Aruna.
Thankfully, Ira was quick as a cat on crack. I looked back and saw the crazed succubus had caught Todd by his ankles and was hanging on for dear life.
Todd finally released the weapon, and it shot off like a rocket back toward the speeding Camaro. The imp fell down, landed on Ira’s chest, and let out a sigh of relief.
“You know,” he chuckled, “if I was into demon chicks, it’d be pork city back here right now.”
“Eww,” Ira gagged, and then she tossed Todd back into the front seat of the Jeep.
“We need to shake her, Jakey!” the imp suggested.
“How the fuck am I gonna do that?” I demanded. “We’re on an interstate in the middle of the desert! It’s not like I can try to lose her on the backroads or anything.”
In the back seat, Libidine had joined her sisters in an all-out assault on Aruna’s car. From the rearview mirror, I could see blasts of red, yellow, and blue smash into the road as the silver Camaro continued to dodge gracefully from side to side.
I glanced into the side mirror just in time to see the chakram, encased in black ectoplasmic material, hurtle directly for the driver’s side tire. I jerked Shadow’s wheel to the right, and the projectile smacked into the asphalt and ricocheted back toward the Camaro. A slender hand caught the chakram nonchalantly as it returned.
I didn’t know how the assassin was getting so much heat on that thing. The chakram was zipping around like a spinning rocket intent on carving us up like a Thanksgiving turkey.
Aruna either had one hell of a sidearm, or there was some magic fuckery afoot.
“She’s trying to take out our tires!” I cried out in warning.
“This woman’s relentless,” Ira observed. “What the fuck did you do to piss her off?”
“Aruna is an assassin who was after Gula and Tris at the convention center,” I explained. “We stopped her and helped them escape. That’s probably why she’s trying to kill us right now.”
“Probably?” Todd spoke up from beside me. “She literally told you to ‘stay away from her prey,’ bro.”
“Liby!” I called back to the dark-haired succubus. “Can you use your telekinesis to knock her off the road?”
“She’s moving far too fast for me to get a bead on, and even if I could, it’s too much mass with too much velocity to counteract its force,” Libidine huffed.
“Well, look at Ms. Physics here,” Todd said with a laugh. “Good on you, Liby, for that big brain there!”
The busty succubus shot a bright smile at the imp and was about to thank him for the compliment when the chakram shot at us once more. She was cut off as I had to twist the wheel harshly to the left and everyone in the back was flung around.
And it only got bumpier from there.
The motion caused the Jeep to leave the road momentarily, and the vehicle rumbled as it drove over assorted rocks and plants in the sand. Thankfully, I was able to regain control of the vehicle and get her back onto the pavement before we spun out or blew a tire.
Unfortunately, that was exactly what Aruna wanted.
A massive glob of the black, sticky ectoplasmic substance shot past our left and splattered onto the road ahead.
“Oh shit!” Todd screamed. “She’s trying to bukkake us!”
“What the hell does that mean?” Libidine asked in a panic.
“You seriously don’t know?” Ira sounded surprised.
“It’s when a bunch of guys stand around a kneeling woman and--” Todd began.
“Hold on tight!” I yelled and cut the imp off as I outstretched my left hand and summoned purple Hellfire.
I cast a spell of violet flames down onto the road, directly on top of the ectoplasm. There was a huge, cabin-rattling bump as we hit the glowing barrier, but it did its job. Shadow passed over the sticky substance without even the slightest form of resistance.
“We need to stay on the offensive,” I demanded. “Everyone, let’s show this shapeshifter what we’ve got!”
Todd rolled down his window, stuck his head out, and began to fire small balls of red flame back toward the assassin. At the same time, I noticed an increased glow of red, yellow, and turquoise fire from behind as the three succubi joined the assault.
There was the roar of a supercharged engine, and the Camaro was suddenly on the opposite side of the highway. Despite her practicality, Shadow was much slower than the souped-up silver sports car. Before we knew it, Aruna was driving right along beside us.
I got to get a good look at her through the driver’s side window. The assassin was wearing a pair of sunglasses, and her sleek black locks were tied back into an intricate hairstyle. Aruna turned her head, gave me a playful wave, and then twisted her wheel to the right.
I tossed up a large purple barrier seconds before the Camaro collided with Shadow. The impact of metal on Hellfire caused a shockwave that nearly knocked us off the road, but I was able to stay the course.
From the back seat, there was a flash of yellow as several enchanted daggers stabbed into the Camaro’s side. The barrage shattered the passenger-side windows and turned the left half of the car’s body into Swiss cheese. Aruna’s vehicle lurched to the left violently and then careened back toward us.
I decided it was time to change up my tactics.
Instead of blocking the Camaro with a barrier, I blasted directly into its front end with a massive geyser of red Hellfire. She didn’t manage to dodge that one, and the blast spun Aruna’s car like a top. In that wild moment, its rear smacked into the back of Shadow.
The impact caused our vehicle to fishtail, and it took everything in my power to keep it from spinning out. All four of my friends were screaming in terror as I fought with the wheel, twisting it back and forth in an effort to keep Shadow’s body straight. Then, as quickly as it started, we were back
on the straight-and-narrow.
“I think we actually got her,” Cupi said with a sigh of relief. “I can see Aruna’s car all the way back there. It’s not moving.”
“Hell yeah!” Todd extended his hand up for a high-five.
I obliged the imp but looked back in the rearview mirror nervously as I did so. “I don’t think this is over,” I pointed out. “Not by a long shot.”
“Aw, fuck,” Ira groaned. “You’re right. Incoming!”
I turned my head to the left just in time to see Aruna’s chakram headed directly toward us from the side. There was a brief impact accompanied by a metallic thud, and the blade of the weapon jammed itself into the side of the Jeep.
“That’s it?” Todd laughed. “That was Aruna’s big finale? Some bounty hunter she turned out to--”
“Shhh!” Cupi demanded. “Listen.”
The entire cabin went silent as we tried to hear what the blonde was talking about. There was the howl of the wind as it passed by our open windows, the gentle purr of Shadow’s engine, and a sound I assumed was the gurgling of Todd’s stomach. Then I finally heard it, and my heart dropped into my stomach.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
“Oh shit, it’s a bomb!” Todd cried.
I immediately surrounded the chakram with emerald flames and tried to cast it away, but I only managed to toss the weapon about ten feet away from the vehicle when it exploded. Aruna must have been using some high-grade explosives because the blast punched through my telekinetic fire like it was cardboard. The shockwave put a massive dent into the side of Shadow, and our jet-black jeep was tossed sideways and began to roll through the air.
I closed my eyes and tried to conjure up every feeling of disgust and envy I could possibly imagine. This couldn’t be how Jacob Ralston, the man who defeated Azazel, was gonna go out. What kind of shitty end to my story would that be? If I couldn’t pull this off, three of my succubi and my best friend would perish alongside me.
I sure as fuck wasn’t going to let that happen.
I thrust open my eyes and saw the entire cabin of Shadow was aglow with green Hellfire, so I tossed out both of my hands, made a fist, and tried to focus.
Our momentum stopped suddenly. The entire Jeep was suspended in the air thanks to my telekinetic Hellfire.
“Holy fuck,” Ira muttered. “You can catch a whole fucking car with your mind? That’s the hottest damn thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Why does lifting a Jeep Wrangler always get Jakey the poontang?” Todd joked.
We were currently on our side, so I made a circular motion with my hand to get us back in an upright position. Then, I slowly lowered Shadow back down onto the ground, dispelled my flames, and kicked her into gear. We had only gone about thirty feet off the road, so we were back on the highway in no time.
“Seriously?” Cupi growled from the back. “This bitch doesn’t know when to give up, does she?”
I glanced up in the rearview mirror and saw a four-legged figure dashing toward us from behind. Cupi and Liby were both trying to hit it with their Hellfire, but the creature was dodging the attacks as if they were nothing. So, I slammed down my foot on the accelerator, but Shadow’s engine just made a horrific sound as if it were gasping for air.
“Mother fucker,” I hissed. “I don’t know how much faster we can go!”
“Then you’d better brace for impact,” Cupi warned.
“We’re about to get raw-dogged by this assassin if we don’t give her the slip,” Ira added. “Actually, on second thought, that might be kinda nice…”
The beast in the rear-view mirror was dodging attack after attack from the succubi. It looked like a large cat of some sort, but it was running as fast as a jackrabbit.
Shadow’s needle currently read thirty, and she was gaining speed. Unfortunately, we still weren’t moving fast enough to outrun the creature behind us. Within seconds, the large cat had caught up with our vehicle.
It was a cheetah.
The beast dodged another handful of Liby’s yellow daggers and then pounced into the air. Black ectoplasm engulfed the cheetah’s body, and she morphed back into Aruna’s familiar human form while she was still in mid-air. A split second later, there was a thump on top of Shadow’s roof.
“This is just like a superhero movie, bro,” Todd exclaimed as he called red Hellfire into his hands. “Only this time, we’re in the role of the baddies.”
“How fitting,” I growled and whipped the steering wheel to the right.
Todd began to barrage the roof of the Jeep with fireballs as he tried everything in his power to hit the seemingly untouchable assassin. I tried to throw off her dodging, and her in the process, by jerking the wheel back and forth, but between the two of us, all we managed was to make the roof holier than the Pope.
“I’m on it,” Cupi called out as she kicked open her door, called forth her angel-like wings, and rolled out of the moving vehicle. Her wings flared wide to catch her, and then, an instant later, a blast of her blue Hellfire hurtled overhead and struck the road in front of us, somehow missing Aruna completely.
“How is Aruna dodging all this?” Libidine asked.
“She won’t be for long,” I growled and pointed up the road. “Check it out.”
A mile or two ahead, there was a bridge over a massive ravine. At the very bottom flowed the raging rapids of a river, nearly one-thousand feet down. That was our ticket to ditching our unwanted hitchhiker.
“Guys,” I warned. “This is gonna be a fucking crazy idea, but you’ll have to trust me.”
“You’ve gotten us this far,” Liby mused. “Go for it, Jacob!”
“All for one and one for all, remember?” Todd added. “We’ll follow you to the ends of the Earth and back, buddy.”
“Good lord,” Ira gasped, “and I thought Azazel’s followers were loyal.”
Right as we passed over the threshold of the bridge, I took a deep breath. It was now or never. I twisted Shadow’s wheel to the right, and the vehicle headed toward the barrier on the side of the bridge.
“Bro,” Todd yelled, “what are you doing?”
“Just trust me!” I reassured the imp.
Our Jeep Wrangler smashed through the thin metal on the side of the highway, and we began to plummet downward.
I immediately closed my eyes, conjured emerald fire into my hands, and then wrapped them around the steering wheel. The jade flames spread across the cabin, eventually engulfing Shadow’s entire frame.
But not the assassin on top of us.
Our freefall was brought to an abrupt halt, and Aruna was flung from the roof. The four of us watched her body hurdle downward comically, and then she quickly wrapped herself up with black ectoplasm. A hawk rocketed upward, stopped in front of our windshield, and transformed back into her human form.
Aruna stood on the hood of our floating car and readied her chakram.
But before she could make a move, she was hit with a blast of Cupi’s red Hellfire from above. The violent impact threw Aruna back like a ragdoll, and her body plummeted down into the raging river below.
“Bro, dudettes,” Todd addressed the vehicle. “I’ll never make fun of you for fucking ever again. Jakey wouldn’t be even half as powerful as he is right now if he hadn’t plowed all of you lovely ladies.”
“Such a way with words.” Libidine giggled.
“Don’t thank me yet,” I gasped out through gritted teeth. “I still have to get us back onto the road.”
I slowly raised my hands into the air, and sweat beaded on my brow. It was like Libidine had said, it wasn’t the mass, it was the acceleration. It had taken a ton of juice to snatch us out of freefall, and while I could move the Jeep fresh, it was a struggle to get it back up after such a hard catch. Still, Shadow slowly rose up as she followed my gestures. Once we were level with the bridge, I slid both of my enchanted palms to the side and moved us back to safety.
The second we were on solid ground, Cupiditas landed beside the car, tossed open
her door, and hopped in.
“How did you know I was going to hit her?” the blonde asked in disbelief.
“I didn’t,” I admitted as I wiped my brow, “but I knew she wasn’t going to be defeated with our normal strategies. She was going to tear this Jeep open like a can of sardines.”
“Speaking of which,” Todd sighed, “I hope you don’t mind Shadow being a convertible, because her roof is pretty much like the condoms a billionaire's mistress wants him to use.”
I looked over at the imp and raised my eyebrow in confusion.
“Full of holes she put there,” the imp explained.
Well, when Todd was right, he was right. I let out a laugh as I put Shadow back into gear, and we started off down the road.
The vehicle was making a bunch of weird sounds, and there was cosmetic damage all over the place, but she still seemed to be running like a charm. As long as we didn’t need to go over seventy miles per hour, that is.
“How’s she holding up?” Liby asked with concern in her voice.
I patted the steering wheel lovingly. “She should be fine,” I promised. “Nothing Sia can’t fix when we get back to Phoenix. She just looks like she drove through an active warzone, that’s all.”
“I told you we shoulda gone with the Hummer, bro,” Todd suggested. “Those things can get beat like my meat, and they’ll still keep ticking.”
“It’s still a car,” I pointed out. “I’m pretty sure it’s just as weak to Hellfire and ectoplasm as Shadow is.”
Todd shrugged. “I don’t think you understand how hard I beat my meat.”
“And we’re going to keep it that way,” Cupi chimed in from the back.
“Do you think we’ve seen the last of her?” Libidine spoke up. “Did we kill the Rakshasi?”
“I doubt it.” I shook my head. “Knowing our luck, Aruna probably turned into a crocodile on the way down and is swimming toward our destination as we speak.”
“Cheer up, Jacob,” Ira tried to comfort me. “Even if that’s true, we’ve still bought ourselves a pretty good head start.”
“You’re right,” I said with a firm nod. “We’ll make it to Gula and Tris’ party before she does. Maybe we’ll even have a chance to talk to them one-on-one this time.”