So Wrong So Right

by Erica Marselas

  “He’s not. Look at it this way, he protects me.”

  Colin’s arm drapes over my shoulder and he whispers in my ear, "Always."

  “What do you mean protects you?” I swallow, realizing I shouldn’t have said it that way. I’m not ready to tell him about Victor and the abuse he unleashes. Though at least I have told him how much I hate the guy, I can lie.

  “It’s just...I don’t like Victor and neither does Colin really.” I glance at my boyfriend whose eyes tell me it’s okay to spill whatever I might word vomit out.

  “Colin doesn’t like his own father?” He snorts, “Let me talk to him, Abby.”

  “Alright, slow your horses.” I giggle trying to lighten the mood and I’m pleased when I hear his light snicker in return.

  I miss my dad.

  I cover the speaker of my cell. “He wants to talk to you, so lay it on thick.”

  “I’ll lay something on thick, baby.” He smirks, and I shove him away. I’m on the phone with my dad and he’s making dirty jokes.

  What a gutter diving perv.

  He kisses my cheek and takes the phone from my hand. “Mr. Miller?” he answers with authority, his eyes never leaving mine. I can’t hear what my dad replies but Colin is nodding his head at whatever he’s saying. After a beat of no comments from Colin, he kisses the top of my head.

  “Stay here, I'm going to talk inside.”

  “What? Why?” I stand from my chair at the same time he does from his. “I want to know.”

  He chuckles, which only makes me cross my arms in a huff. “Let me do this. It’s okay, I swear, but better if done in private.”

  “Dad!” I yell, and I make out a faint laugh from the receiver.

  “Yeah, she is. Wouldn’t expect anything less from her.” He bops my nose, with a smile on his face. His smile brings relief to my bones that maybe my dad isn't on the way to New Castle with a shotgun and Colin’s name engraved in the slug.

  “It's okay, put your worried face away.” He kisses me and I still taste tinges of myself on his lips.

  I fall back into the lawn chair and watch as the sky changes from pink to blue, waiting for the final say of my father.

  What seems like a lifetime later, and I swear I see a couple of gray hairs now, Colin comes back outside and hands me my cell phone. I whisper the words, "Are you okay?" before taking back my phone. He simply nods, picking me up and setting me on his lap.

  “Dad?” I ask into the phone, needing to know what happened in the million hours they were away.

  “Abigail, after a long talk with your boyfriend, I'm going to trust that you know what you’re doing.”

  “Really?” My words hitch in my throat.

  Is this truly happening?

  “Really. I know I can't always be there for you and it might seem like I've given up on you. But I want you to know I haven't. I love you, sweetie, and if this is what you think is right, I'm going to trust you. Just know that I'm here for you. No matter what.”

  Tears well up in my eyes threatening to fall. “You mean that?”

  “Yes. We all have to learn to live our own lives and take our own paths no matter where they take us…”

  “…because the only way we can learn is by choosing our own destiny,” I say with him, quoting my Grandfather: a good man that I miss dearly and who had imparted much wisdom to me. It seems my dad also listened to his own father as well.

  My dad's hearty chuckle rings through the speaker and Colin places a wet kiss behind my ear. “Always know I'm here for you. If you need me, I'm a phone call away. And if he hurts you, well, he knows what's coming for him.”

  After a few more minutes of back and forth, I hang up with my dad and entwine myself in Colin’s lap.

  “What did you say to him?”

  His lips brush across my forehead and I feel him grin. “I told him how much I love you and how serious I am about our relationship. Also, that I would move Heaven and Earth for you to keep you safe. He gave me his speech about axing me alive if I hurt you, and it was all he needed to trust me.”

  “That’s it? I thought he was going to tell you to stay away from me.”

  “Oh, he sorta started that way, but he was more genuinely worried about you. I ended up telling him a bit about my relationship with my dad. I wanted to tell him what happened to you, but I’m trusting you’ll be honest with me next time, so I didn’t. But next time, he’ll be the first person I call. If I can’t hurt him, well, your father can. I told him the truth about how I tried to stay away, but you captured my heart and made me better.”

  I can’t help the little giggle that leaves me. “You really did lay it on thick.”

  “I did, and it was enough to make him squeamish that he relented, demanding I treat you right. I also gave him my mom’s number, so he could talk to her for more insight. In the end, he got it, and I think by the time I marry you, he’ll be able to accept me as his son-in-law.”

  I smile and think about how one day I might be, ‘Mrs. Abigail Wagner.’ Now those are the kinds of dreams I like to have.

  “Now that we checked that off your list, what do you want to do today?”

  Living in hell has never been easy, but I’ve survived another week living with the devil. Colin promised he wouldn’t bring up my wrist to his dad, or my dad, for that matter, if I allowed him to play bodyguard when he’s home. I’m to be flanked by him at all times in the house, even if it’s to get a glass of water. The only thing he’s missing is the suit and sunglasses. It seems a little crazy, but it makes him sleep better at night, and me too.

  So, once again, I’m spending all my days hiding out in my room or making sure there’s something to do outside of the house. Avoidance; it’s the only way I know to protect myself. Though, when it doesn’t work and I cross paths with Victor without my human shield, he gives me his eerie, lingering stare that makes it feel like spiders are crawling all over me. I never knew one look could be so terrifying, but Victor has it mastered, that's for sure.

  But I’ll take looks over touching any day.

  I come straight home after school today, so I can finish packing my bag for tonight. Colin is taking me out of town for the weekend. Something I’ve been looking forward to all week.

  Hanging my jacket and backpack on the hook, I bounce to the kitchen to get a drink. I’m giddy with excitement for the first time, in I don't know how long, thinking of forty-eight hours alone with my man.

  “Abigail, I need to talk to you for a moment,” my mother says from behind me, while my head is inside the refrigerator looking for anything to drink besides water.

  I know you have a grape soda in here somewhere, Colin.

  “Yeah?” I answer, now digging through the bottom drawer.

  “Can you turn and look at me?” I groan, hearing her foot tapping. Why can’t she give me a second? My throat feels like it’s the Sahara. Relenting, I grab a water knowing it will have to do for now.

  “Yes?” I spin around and twist open the cap on my water, downing half of it in one gulp.

  “I need you to do something for me tonight. A friend at work, Regan, has a nephew who just moved from New York and he doesn’t know a soul. His name is Alfred Willington. He’s your age and I told her that you would take him out, show him around, have dinner.”

  “Excuse me, what?” My eyes bug out of their sockets in disbelief at what my mother has just told me. She’s making me go out on a date with some stranger? Does she think I’m an escort or something? It is not my job to entertain her friend’s nephew.

  “You heard me. You’re taking out Alfred. Who knows, you might end up liking him. He’s quite handsome and could be perfect for you.”

  I snort, my mom wouldn’t know the perfect man if he bit her in the ass. “No, I had plans tonight.”

  Plans that happened to include me and Colin, alone in a hotel room, making love, drinking tequila, and fucking like wild animals.

  “And there's no way I would go out to dinner with some guy
I never met.”

  “Let me guess these plans are with Colin and Ashley?” She narrows her eyes at me, crossing her arms over her chest, berating me.

  “I don't want to go out with Alfred Willington. I don’t know him. And if anything, it’s because his name is Alfred Willington,” I bark, refusing to answer her question. I never planned on telling her more than I’d be back Sunday night.

  “Oh, stop it, Abigail. He's a nice boy who doesn't know anyone, and you’re a single young lady. I'm not asking you to marry him. Just be friendly and show him around.”

  “What this all sounds like, mother, is that you’re whoring me out. So, are you asking me to sleep with him to make him feel right at home?”

  I'm so pissed right now, I'm seeing red and white polka dots. Why does she think it's okay to do this? I didn't request her help to find me a date.

  “Heavens no! Be real. But you don't date, and I think you spend too much time with your brother and his girlfriend. I'm sure you've become a third wheel. Now, maybe you can double date, but for now, let them have time alone.”

  I clench my fist to my side, my rage rising through me at lightning speed, and I swear fire is shooting out of my head making me look like Anger from Inside Out. “I'm not going out with him,” I scream, finally blowing my top.

  The front door slams and I silence myself as the air in the house suddenly becomes chilly. Moments later, Victor is walking into the kitchen with Colin right behind him. “Why the hell are you yelling at your mother?” he barks.

  If I wasn’t so mad I might be taken aback by his ire, but not even the fear that he would hurt me stops my raging emotions.

  Last week I was Ms. Sadness and now I’m Ms. Furious. My wacky teenage hormones are making me into a raving bipolar lunatic.

  I look at Colin and he mouths, ‘What happened?’

  “Because my mother thinks I should be a whore. I’m not doing it,” I seethe, focusing my attention back to my mother.

  “Yes, you are. I already told my boss you would. I’m not asking you to do anything but be a friend to the boy for a couple of hours. Have dinner and take him to the local bowling alley.”

  “So, a date?”

  “Yes, I don’t think it would kill you to go on a date, Abby. You’re sixteen now. And I don’t mean the other stuff, but how will you find anyone if you don’t mingle?” she says nonchalantly, not giving a crap about how upset I am, or caring about any of my feelings in general.

  “NO! He’s not my type,” I yell again and slam the half-empty water bottle down on the counter.

  “You haven’t met him, yet!” my mother yells back.

  “His name is Alfred! Alfy and Abby. I don’t fucking think so,” I hiss. Why doesn’t she get that I don’t want to do this?

  “Now that's enough!” Victor bellows, the harshness of his voice this time, does make me cower.

  “Your mother asked you to do something. You should see that you do it. She and I have talked about this. You need to get out and stop hanging around my son all the time. He’s not a good influence on you and you need friends your own age.” I notice Colin flinch at the callousness of his words.

  If only they knew the half of how much I truly hang out with Colin. But I still hang out with my friends all the time and Colin hangs with his, separately.

  “I do hang out with friends my age,” I snap. “You don’t know a thing about me, Victor. You’re not my father and I don’t have to listen to you.”

  “Thank god for that,” he mutters. Colin and I must have been the only ones that heard it because my mother seems oblivious to his side comment, which shows how blind she is.

  She grabs my elbow, making me look back at her. “But you need to listen to me. I need you to do this. I already promised you would. One night won’t kill you and you might find out you like him. He’ll be here at seven”

  There’s no point in arguing about this. I won’t win. Then randomly the memory of Victor saying he would spank me for disobeying him, makes me bow down. There’s no way I want to find out if he would make good on that threat.

  “Fine,” I spit out, as I storm out of the room and up the stairs, away from this insanity.

  “And you will be on your best behavior with him,” my mother calls after me.

  I fling open my bedroom door and let out a scream so loud it scratches my vocal cords. I kick off my shoes and send them flying across the room, “Fucking bitch!”

  Be on my best behavior, yeah right. Poor Alfy boy isn’t going to know what hit him. Poor kid, getting in the line of my fury.

  Knowing I need to calm down, I make my way to the bathroom and dig through my cabinet looking for my new lavender lotion, I bought last week. I’m hoping the scent will relax me. If I had time I would take a bath filled with lavender bath oil and take a nap.

  As I sift through the piles of soaps, and tons of un-opened Bath and Body Work lotions that I have under my sink, I spot a box of tampons chillin’ in the corner. I freeze, closing my eyes, trying to figure out when Aunt Flo is due to pay me a visit. It usually comes on the first of the month like clockwork. It’s now the nineteenth. Aunt Flo is late. Very late.

  Fucking hell.

  I don’t know why this didn’t occur to me before. I’ve been waiting for it to come, thinking these crazy mood swings were caused by PMS.

  But it has to be impossible for me to be pregnant. I’m on birth control. I’m just stressed and emotional from mid-terms and sneaking around with Colin.

  That has to be it.

  I put the thought aside and rinse off my face, letting the cold water cool down my anger and my confusion. Once I locate my lotion, I inhale, and my nerves calm for the moment.

  I’m rubbing the lotion in my arms as I exit the bathroom and I run into a wall of muscle. I go stumbling backward and Colin’s strong arms catch me.

  “You know you have a knack for not knowing where you're going.” He chuckles, pulling my body flush with his chest.

  “Well, you're the last person I expected to be in my room. You really want to feed into their 'wild' idea of us, don’t you?”

  “Fuck them,” he snarls and kisses me gently on the lips before releasing me. “I don't get where your mom comes off thinking she can just set you up without your permission.”

  “I don’t either. I don’t want to go.” My bottom lip folds out in a deep pout. It’s not fair. All I want to do is cuddle in his arms and connect at the hips.

  Colin pinches my lip between his fingers and tucks it back in. “I don’t want you to go out with some tool either.” His eyes light up and a crooked grin spreads on his face, “I have an idea.”

  I roll my eyes and can’t begin to wonder what this man has up his sleeves. Whatever it is, I hope it works so we can get to our hotel tonight.

  “Just be nice, it’s not this kid’s fault he got stuck with me for a night.”

  Okay, so my mother was right, Alfred Willington is not bad looking, but he’s still no Colin Wagner. Mr. Alfy is lean, has a pretty boy face with a chiseled jaw, and jet-black hair. But through his brown eyes, I can see he’s as uncomfortable as I am.

  We’re sitting in Giovanni’s and we’re both waiting for our pizza. Neither one of us talks and my stomach is queasy from all the different smells of food in the air. I grab a breadstick from the center of the table and bite into it, hoping to keep the pending sickness down. I’m convinced all this stress and hiding is eating away at my stomach. I was looking forward to tonight and just detoxing for two days.

  I look back at Alfred and he twists the napkin on the table. He opens his mouth and closes it again. I didn’t think pretty boys had such trouble talking to girls.

  I wonder if I should call off my bloodhound and tell him this whole thing is a dud. I have a feeling I’m about to get rid of Alfred pretty quick.

  “Thanks for coming out with me,” he finally speaks up nervously. “I know you didn’t want to.”

  “You’re welcome. It’s not you, it’s just the way I w
as told about all this.” It’s not his fault my mother is a pushy bitch.

  “I understand that. My aunt made me come too…” He’s silent for a second and then smiles, “but I’m glad now that I did. I wasn’t expecting you to be so beautiful.”

  My mouth drops, flabbergasted by his sudden courage. I’m flattered and all, but no. My head turns to the front door, wondering if maybe I do need my pitbull now.

  “Thanks.” I laugh it off and chomp into the breadstick again.

  “You go to William Penn, right?”

  “Yeah, everyone in this city does.” I giggle and shake my head, swallowing the rest of my breadstick. I’m about to grab another one, but my stomach turns, nauseated, when a waiter passes us carrying a tray with onion and mushroom pizza. I grab my stomach and exhale deeply, hoping it will pass.

  “Right, sorry. I came from a much bigger city in New York. I’m not used to there not being anyone or anything around.” He blushes, clearly embarrassed.

  “You get used to it.” I pick up my glass of water and take a couple small sips. The impending sickness is still bubbling, but it eases enough to keep humoring Alfy. “I've lived here all my life. But my step-brother came from Dover, he had a bit of a shock too.” I know for a fact, the smile on my face is goofy looking, thinking about Colin.

  “Yeah, I miss my hometown already. There’s nothing to do around here. What do you do for fun?”

  “Mostly just chill at each other’s houses, movies, the beach sometimes, that kind of stuff.” I shrug, moving the fork around on the table.

  “Maybe me and you could hit up the beach sometime together.” He leans forward and gives me a dazzling smile that maybe in another lifetime would have made me float away. But as his bright whites try to hypnotize me, I’m left wondering where this boldness comes from.

  “I don’t know…”

  “Yeah, she can’t do that.” Colin’s voice interrupts me as he pulls out a chair from another table to ours. I bite down on my lip, trying not to laugh at him. He’s wearing large, round black frames, a gray sweater vest, and a crazy ass blond wig.