So Wrong So Right

by Erica Marselas

  “I’m okay.” I move to hug him, needing to hold him, but he stops me.

  “You’re not okay. Stop trying to downplay it, Abbs. I’m the master at that shit, but right now I need you to tell me what happened.” His voice is soft but also firm.

  I step back and wrap my arms around myself as nausea rises in my stomach again. I know I need to tell him, but all I want to do is get to my dad’s house, eat something, shower, and go to bed.

  “John, can I call you back?” Colin asks my dad. My eyes glint over to a couple of people walking into the convenience store, going on with their happy lives. How lucky they are to have no worries, while I’m about to try to tell my boyfriend the things his devil dad said and did to me, without breaking down.

  If only I had a Genie in a bottle, so I could grant a wish for all this pain to go away.

  “Hey,” Colin touches my face pulling my attention back to him. His thumbs run over the bottom of my eyelids wiping away the tears I didn’t even know were falling again. “None of that now. We’ve made it this far.” This time he lets me wrap my arms around his neck and engulfs me in a hug.

  I don’t weep, I don’t scream, I only inhale the scent of the man I love more than life itself. His smell and his presence make me feel safe. “I love you,” I mumble into his neck.

  “I love you, too. You’re safe, but I need to know what happened. It’s the only way me and your dad can keep you protected. I know Victor isn’t going down without a fight.”

  I answer him with a nod, still not ready to let go of him. He gets the message and lifts me in his arms, placing me on the hood of the car. He stands between my legs, brushing my hair back to calm me. “Will you repeat it back to my dad? I don’t think I have the energy to do it twice.”

  “Do you want me to call him back?” I shrug, not caring which way it’s done. I just don’t want to keep reliving it word for word. If I could, I would bleach my brain to forget forever.

  Colin calls my dad back, placing him on speaker. With a deep breath, I tell them my nightmare.

  “He came barging into my room. I had it locked and I told him to go away, but obviously, he didn’t care. He backed me into the wall and slapped me across the face, calling me a whore. Told me how Mom was disappointed with me.” I look down at my knotted fingers. The smell of the liquor that was on his breath suddenly hits my nostrils, bringing me back to the room. My eyes close and I see his demon face, laughing at me, laughing at my pain.

  Will what happened haunt me forever?

  “Baby, look at me.” Colin’s touch to my face raises my head. I take a deep breath, the bad smell fleeing and Colin’s body wash replacing it. “You alright?”

  No. “Yes.”

  “Abigail,” my dad's voice rises through the speaker, “take your time. Deep breaths. You’re safe.”

  “I know,” I say softly. Colin props himself next to me on the hood and puts his arm around my waist. Taking a shaky breath, I continue with my encounter. “He said because of the way I dressed he swore that I was trying to impress him, but realized it was all for you. That’s when he touched me.” I pause, swallowing the large pit in my throat.

  Colin stiffens beside me and I can feel the heat of his anger radiating off him. “He touched you? Like?” He waves his hand around my body, and I nod. His fist slams into the hood of the car, leaving a small dent. “Motherfucker. No. Fucking no,” he rambles, guilt and shame washing all over his handsome face. “God, baby, I’m so sorry”

  I hate that he’s putting this on his shoulders, but I need to finish before I lose my nerve. “Colin,” I run my hand against the short stubble of his face gaining back his attention. “There’s more—” and I watch him gulping harshly. “I just need to get it out now, please.”

  “Yeah, of course,” he whispers and pulls me into his lap. I put my arms around him, knowing he needs me just as close as I need him right now.

  “He had his hand on my breast and I tried to get away, but he was too strong.” I decide to skip over the part where Victor saw the pictures of me in my underwear because I don’t know how my dad would react to Colin taking them. “He said Mom wasn't impressed with me and threatened to spank me. I’m still surprised my mom can’t see what a perv he is. Anyways, he then told me he couldn’t ever stand me, but I was nice to look at. Asked me if I wanted to fuck a Wagner, why not ask him. I started feeling sick, by his smell, and the way he was touching me. His lips were basically over mine and his body was grinding into me.” My body shudders and Colin pulls me closer. “When he pinched my nipple, well, I showed him, when I threw up all over him.”

  Remembering that moment, makes me chuckle. His face was classic disgust with my insides dripping off his face and clothes. It’s about the only thing that has gotten me through what happened: that in a way I got even.

  “You threw up on him?” Colin and my dad ask at the same time, both not able to contain their amusement.

  “Yeah, it wasn’t pretty.” I cringe but still giggle.

  He got what he deserved.

  “So, that’s what I’ve been sniffing.” Colin laughs with me. I'm glad he finds something funny in this situation. Although it's hard not to. Our child helped put a stop to the monster, protecting me. I don’t believe I would've thrown-up if he or she wasn't growing inside me. My hand runs over my stomach, thankful for our little peanut.

  “Sorry, I had no time to shower.”

  “It’s okay.” Colin’s hand covers my own on my stomach and he kisses my temple, “I’m sorry.” The laughter has left his voice and is now strained with his torment. I lay my head on his shoulder, wanting to ease his anguish along with my own. “I hate that he touched you, that he hurt you. I should've done something last time instead of listening to your stubborn butt.” There’s no anger in his voice, just sheer regret.

  “It wouldn’t have solved anything then and you know it.” My hand touches his cheek, trying to get him to look at me, but he refuses to.

  “You told me once he touched you, and when your mother didn't believe you, I should’ve acted differently to protect you better.” His voice cracks and his chin quivers as I watch his guilt rip through him. “I could’ve told your dad, I could’ve done countless things. You should hate me because I let you down, so many times.”

  “I could never hate you. You couldn’t control everything, Colin, and I kept shit to myself too. And it’s my mom’s job to protect me, not yours. I know you did what you could. We were limited. We’ll never know, but my mom, she could’ve listened. You can’t blame yourself and if you do it’s on both of us for not speaking out. I know that.” I tell him firmly and kiss his cheek, telling him I’m here and I don’t blame him. But he’s too far down the darkest of rabbit holes to pick up on it.

  “I shouldn’t have thought waiting till Monday to get you would be smart. I should have gotten to you a different way, somehow. This shouldn’t have happened to you.” His hand slams hard on the hood of the car again.

  “Baby stop,” I yell, grabbing his hand to hold it tightly in mine. If he doesn’t stop hitting the car, he’s going to end up with a broken hand or a broken car. Then where will we be?

  Colin finally looks at me and sighs heavily, leaning his forehead to mine. “All I ever wanted to do was protect you,” he mutters.

  “You did.” I gently kiss him. “You did protect me. You’re here now, that’s what is important. Who knows what could have happened if you never moved in? You did what you could, and you’re here now.”

  “Colin,” my father’s voice rings out, breaking up the moment.

  “Yeah?” he asks, keeping his eyes on mine, his thumb brushing over my now dried tears on my cheek.

  “Stop blaming yourself. You too, sweetheart. For right now, it's over. Get here and we can figure out the rest. Your mother should be here in the morning, right?”

  “I think so. She was leaving as soon as possible.”

  “Alright, shelf it and just get here. Abby, I love you, honey, and I'll see
you guys soon.”

  After we took pictures of my face and grabbed a couple sandwiches from the gas station, which weren't too awful, we were back on the road. We haven’t said much to each other as the place we once lived got further and further away.

  My eyes haven’t left Colin’s face as I watch his internal battle. He’s so lost on the road and in his head, he doesn’t even notice that I’m staring at him.

  No longer able to take the silence, I lean over and rest my head on his shoulder. He startles when my head touches him, but instantly relaxes with a kiss to the top of my head. We’re only about twenty minutes out from my dad’s now.

  “There’s something else you need to know, that I didn’t want to tell my dad,” I say softly, my hand brushing down his leg. I’ve been debating telling him at all because the last thing I want is for his head to explode.

  Colin’s chest expands out, taking a deep breath. He’s preparing himself for whatever news I’m about to toss at him. “What?”

  “He found the pictures on my computer, the ones you took. That’s what led to him talking about my body and…” My voice trails off not wanting or needing to repeat his words. “I found my computer opened with the picture on the screen in the kitchen and took it with me. I’m not sure if he copied them or just perved on them.”

  “I should fucking kill him.” He grits through his teeth and slams his hand on the steering wheel.

  “No, I don’t need you going to jail or having that on your conscience. At least hire a hitman…” I giggle, trying to lighten the mood.

  It doesn’t work.

  “I fucking should, although, I think it’s your father we have to worry about now. You thought I was angry about your wrist?” He shakes his head, then blows out a large puff of air. “In a few days we’ll be married and nothing else will matter.”

  “A few days?” I gulp, my head popping off his shoulder.

  Days? Well, he just keeps on surprising me. Does that mean I don’t get a pretty dress, a ring, a ceremony? Do I want to get married in just days?

  “You haven’t even asked me yet, you know.”

  “I told you I was going to. We have to get the process started as soon as possible. Tomorrow you’ll see an OB and she’ll confirm your pregnancy, then we’ll go down to the courthouse to file. There’s a waiting period, but we can make the date right after. We’ll just have to lay low till then. Tomorrow night we’re going to stay at a hotel in case they come to your dad’s house looking for you.”

  “You have it all figured out, don’t you?” I sigh and turn to the window, staring into the dark night. Anxiety blooms in my chest. Is this what he wants? A forever commitment with me, his teenage step-sister? Does he think this is the only way we can be free from Victor? “You know you don’t have to marry me because you think it’s the only way to keep me safe or because I’m pregnant.”

  I feel the heat rays from his eyes boring a hole in the side of my face and I’m not sure how he’s managing to drive straight. “You think that’s the only reason?” He’s trying not to sound defensive, but the crack in his voice betrays him. Turning to face him again, our eyes meet, and the hostile laser beams fade before he looks back at the road.

  “No, I don’t know. It’s just sudden and a lot has happened today. I only found out I was pregnant yesterday. I don’t doubt you love me, but I don’t want you to think you have to because you think it’s the only way.”

  His lips purse together, ignoring me as he turns into my dad’s neighborhood, undoubtedly putting an end to the conversation for now. Colin cuts the engine when he parks outside my dad’s house. I've only been here a handful of times over the years.

  Unclicking my belt, I hurry out of the car, away from the tension, excited to see my dad again. I’m safe now. Leaving my bags behind for later I run up to the porch.

  “Wait,” Colin yells at me and I drop my hand from the doorknob. My mouth opens to ask, ‘what’s wrong?’ but I only get ‘wh’ out when he grabs me by my waist and crashes his lips to mine. My arms snake around his neck as he pulls me closer to him. My body heats and my panties dampen, forgetting the world around me. He’s expressing everything he needs to with this burning kiss: his longing, his desperation, his need, and the love he has for me. All of those feelings sear into my heart, marking it forever and making it his, always.

  When he breaks away from me, both of us are breathless. He grabs my face and rests his forehead on mine.

  “The last thing I ever want you to think is I want to marry you because I have to or because you're pregnant. The only thing happening now is we're moving up the inevitable. Sure, I wanted to wait till you were at least eighteen and we had everything together, but I also want it more than ever now. We can be a real family. Me, you, and our baby against the world.” He gives me that All-American smile that sparks something deep in my belly. “I’ve never had any doubt that my future is with you. I want my life with you, always. I love you, Abbs. I swear, I’ll ask you the right way before we say I do, but will you be mine forever?”

  I nod as the tears trickle from my eyes, knowing he means every single word he said.

  “I need to hear the words, Abbs.”

  “Yes, of course.” He grins and lifts me in his arms. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile so big before.

  He spins me around playfully, before planting my feet back on the ground. “I’m sorry I doubted your true intentions…” His finger pushes on my lips shushing me.

  “It’s been a long day, but now you know. Right?”

  “Very much so.”

  “And maybe I got a little cocky thinking you would just jump on board with the idea after seeing your notebook with Mrs. Abigail Wagner written all over it.” He chuckles, and my cheeks burn from my flush. I had forgotten to hide those better.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I tease and look away from him. He tips my chin about to kiss me again when the front door flings open, and both of our heads turn to my father. He’s shaking his head with a small smile on his face.

  “Are you two kids going to stand out there all night?”

  “Daddy.” I step out of Colin’s hold and hug my dad tight. “I’m so happy to see you.”

  “You too, pumpkin. Come inside.”

  We pile in the house and the first thing my dad does is grab my face to look me over. “Fucking bastard. I would be in my right mind to kill him.”

  “Can we not talk any more about killing him, please?” I groan at the thought of all the bloodshed these men want to cause. He might have it coming, but I can only picture them behind bars if they were to act on it.

  Death would be too easy of an out for a man like Victor anyways.

  “Do you want some ice for that?” he asks, and I shake my head.

  “It doesn’t really hurt. More of a sting.”

  “Alright.” He doesn’t believe me, but I wish he would. I might not always act like it, but I’m a lot stronger than most people give me credit for.

  The three of us move to sit on the couch and Colin protectively wraps his arm around my shoulders. My dad tells me we’ll find a doctor for me to see tomorrow, and when Naomi gets in we’ll check into a hotel. We’re going over the next steps in order for us to get married when both Colin's and my dad’s phones ring.

  “Shit, it’s my father,” Colin mutters.

  “Your mother.” Dad groans, both of them looking at their caller ID’s in disgust.

  “What do we do?” I ask, looking from one to the other.

  “I’m not answering. In fact—” Colin denies the call and then turns off his phone.

  “I’m going to answer and see what she wants. Quiet.” My dad misses the call, but seconds later it rings again. He answers and puts it on speaker.

  “Aubrey, never in a million years did I think I’d hear from you. Is everything okay with Abigail?”

  “That’s the thing, it seems our little princess has run off and I was hoping she was coming to you,” my mo
m says bitterly, and I roll my eyes at her lack of concern. Thanks, Mom.

  “What happened? She wouldn’t run away for no reason.”

  “It’s because we told her she could no longer see her boyfriend.”

  “Boyfriend? I didn’t know she was dating anyone,” my dad says in mock surprise, making me want to laugh.

  “Oh, me either, till I caught Colin in her bed, having sex. She claimed she loves him.” She scoffs, appalled as if it’s the worst thing in the world. “Do you believe this, John? Sickening. Now she’s gone. Victor said he went to check on her for dinner and she wasn’t in her room. He’s trying to call him now, but he’s not answering.”

  I bite down on my tongue wanting to yell at her, but I don’t, and Colin pulls me closer. His jaw is clenched tight, and I know he too wants to give her his own verbal lashing.

  “Well, what did you say to her when you caught her? I don’t think Abigail would just run off because you told her she couldn’t see him anymore,” my dad argues, digging to see what else she knows.

  “I told her she couldn't see him anymore. That she would get over it. It doesn’t matter. I’m her mother, my house, my rules. Now listen, I’m sure Colin got to her somehow. Don’t know how because I took her phone and her computer away. I checked with her friends and no one has seen her. She hasn’t called you? She calls you for everything.”

  My interest spikes when she doesn’t mention the photos. I figured that would be the first thing she would use against Colin to turn my dad against him. Which means Victor was snooping, and the pervert got lucky when he found the pictures.

  “No, she hasn’t. I’m sure she is fine though. Knowing you, you overreacted, and she just needs a couple of days. I’m sure she’s just at a friend’s house.”

  “I already told you she's not.”

  “Who did you talk to? The parents? If I ran away they wouldn’t know because I would be hiding in a closet. She’s known her friends forever, and they would hide her. I’m sure that’s where she is,” he bites back, annoyed with my mother’s lack of common sense.