Geeks and the Holy Grail

by Mari Mancusi

  She rose back to her feet and Ashley followed. The cheerleader looked around the cave, wrinkling her nose. “What is this place?” she asked. “It looks like a bomb went off in here. Also, it kind of stinks. And by ‘kind of’ I mean it totally reeks.”

  “Please excuse the mess. We ran into a little trouble earlier with some knights.”

  Sophie’s gaze snapped to the back of the cave. In the doorway stood a boy and girl around her own age. One was dressed in wizard robes, much like the type Merlin would wear, but way too big. The other? Well, she wore a Disneyland Mickey Mouse T-shirt that hung to her knees.

  Weird, Sophie thought. Even for Camelot Code standards…

  The girl in the Mickey Mouse T-shirt stepped toward them. She was tall. Pretty. With brown skin and long black hair twisted into an intricate braid. The kind someone might get ten million views for if they posted the how-to on YouTube.

  “It worked, Emrys!” the braid girl cried, her face lighting up with excitement. “It really worked.”

  The boy’s gaze traveled from Ashley to Sophie. “Are you sure?” he asked, sounding suspicious. “They look a little young.” He narrowed his eyes. “And what on earth are they wearing?” Which was a little rude, in Sophie’s opinion. Especially seeing as he looked as if he had shrugged on his dad’s bathrobe.

  The girl stepped up to Ashley, who happened to be closer, giving her a small bow. “Thank you for coming,” she said in an earnest voice. “We are in desperate need of your assistance.”

  Ashley stared at her. “My what? Who are you? What are you talking about?” She looked around the cave again, her eyes wild with panic. “Did you kidnap me? Have I been kidnapped?” She launched into a fighter’s stance. “I know Zumba, you know. And I’m not afraid to use it!”

  Sophie groaned. She ran over to Ashley, grabbing her soon-to-be stepsister’s hands and lowering them to her sides again. “Will you relax?” she begged. “I told you, everything’s okay. Also, I think you mean jujitsu. Unless you’re hoping for a dance-off?”

  Ashley’s shoulders slumped—all the fight seeming to go out of her at once. She gave Sophie a helpless look. “I could totally win a dance-off,” she whimpered.

  “I know, I know,” Sophie said, patting her on the shoulder. “It’s going to be okay, I promise.”

  “I don’t understand! What happened to us? Where’s the dress shop?” Ashley’s voice cracked. “Where’s my mom?”

  For a moment, Sophie almost felt sorry for her. She looked so scared. Sophie hadn’t forgotten the first time she’d traveled back in time and how freaked-out she had been. Though at least she’d had the common sense not to threaten a dance battle five minutes in.

  “Just take a deep breath and let me handle this. I promise we’ll get you home soon.” She turned to their medieval hosts, who had been watching the entire exchange with doubtful eyes. So much for coming off like a professional. “So, uh, who are you? And where’s Merlin?”

  The girl stepped forward first. “I am Nimue,” she said, pronouncing the name like ni-MU-ay. “A druid of Avalon. And this is Emrys. He’s Merlin’s apprentice.”

  “Merlin has an apprentice?” Sophie raised her eyebrows. “Since when?”

  Nimue sighed. “Let’s just say he’s…new.” She pressed her palms together. “Really new.”

  “And Merlin is…where exactly?”

  The boy brightened. “That’s actually what—”

  “AHHH!” Ashley suddenly screamed. “What is THAT?”

  Sophie whirled around, just in time to see Ashley back up into a corner of the cave. Unfortunately, this particular corner held a stack of pots and pans and dishes, all precariously piled to the ceiling. They crashed down on impact, burying Ashley in kitchenware. She screamed again.

  Sophie closed her eyes, trying desperately to summon patience. She opened them again, giving Nimue and Emrys an apologetic look. “If you’ll excuse me for one second…”

  She turned and stalked toward the pile of pots and pans that had buried her almost stepsister, frustration rising inside her. It was like Ashley was determined to ruin everything in Sophie’s life, piece by piece. She and Stu had been waiting for months for this first assignment. And now she was stuck with Ashley instead of him? She was pretty sure Ashley would be zero help when it came to saving the world. Unless the world was having a fashion crisis or needed to snap the perfect selfie.

  Sophie pulled a pan off Ashley. Then another. Finally, the cheerleader managed to scramble back to her feet. She still looked terrified, though, and Sophie wondered what had her so freaked-out. Sure, the whole situation was beyond crazy, obviously. But she’d almost had it together a second ago.

  “Are you okay?” Sophie asked.

  Ashley didn’t reply. Instead she raised a trembling hand, pointing to something behind Sophie. Sophie turned to look, wondering what on earth it could be. For a moment, she saw nothing. Then something red on a far table seemed to twitch. She stepped toward it, squinting to make out what it was.

  She stopped short. Her mouth dropped open.

  “Whoa,” she whispered.

  For there, sitting on a table at the other end of the cave, was a dragon. A baby dragon, to be precise, curled up and licking his paw, as if he were a tabby cat. His wings were folded against his body and his tail curled around him, long and spiky.

  Sophie’s mouth broke into a grin. Wow. A dragon. A real-life dragon!

  Spring break had just taken an epic left turn.

  Sophie took a step toward the dragon, her heart pounding with excitement. “Since when does Merlin have a pet dragon?” she asked, marveling. She turned to Nimue and Emrys. “Or does this guy belong to one of you?”

  “It’s a rather long story,” Emrys stammered.

  “And actually the reason you’re here,” Nimue added.

  Sophie’s smile faltered a little. “Wait. You don’t need me to slay him, do you?” She cringed at the thought. While she and Stu had certainly considered the possibility of slaying a dragon as one of their Camelot Quests, they hadn’t taken into account that the dragon in question might be so adorable. And while, admittedly, it was probably easier to kill a fun-sized dragon than a full-grown one, she wasn’t sure she’d have the heart to do it.

  She tentatively reached out her hand toward the dragon. “It’s okay,” she said in a soft voice, trying to channel her inner Hiccup from How to Train Your Dragon. “I won’t hurt you.”

  “Um, maybe you should be more worried about him hurting you?” Ashley reminded her. “He is the evil, fire-breathing monster in this scenario after all.”

  The dragon cocked his head at Sophie, looking at her with wide, curious eyes. She gave him a gentle smile. “Look at him,” she cooed. “He’s not evil. Are you, boy?”

  The dragon’s mouth creaked open, almost like a smile. Sophie felt something triumphant rise inside her. She was doing it! She was befriending a dragon! Wait till she told Stu!

  She kept her eyes on the creature, smiling back at him. Any moment now he would take a step in her direction, going full Toothless. Nuzzling his head against her hand and—

  Tooting like a trumpet.

  EW! Sophie staggered backward, holding her nose as the smell cannonballed across the room. Guess that explained the mystery of the stinky cave….

  “See?” Ashley pronounced, giving the dragon an affronted look. “Pure evil.”

  “He’s not evil,” Emrys corrected, running over to the dragon and scooping him into his arms. “At least we don’t think so. He just has some…stomach issues.”

  “Possibly because he’s not supposed to have a stomach to begin with,” Nimue shot back, her hand over her own nose.

  Sophie shook her head. “I think you need to start from the beginning.”

  And so they did, telling her about the Holy Grail and how the knights had attacked the druid caravan while trying to steal it. About Emrys’s “oh-so-clever plan” (according to him) that had completely backfired (according to Nimue).
>
  “Hang on a sec!” Ashley interrupted. “Let me get this straight. You’re trying to tell me that we’re back in time to the days of King Arthur? And Sir Stinksalot over there is the Holy Grail? Like, the Holy Grail from Indiana Jones part three?”

  “You’ve seen Indiana Jones part three?” Sophie asked, surprised.

  Ashley looked suddenly uncomfortable. “Um, maybe? It’s the one with Han Solo in it, right? And old James Bond? My dad’s a big fan.”

  “I do not know this Indiana Jones,” Nimue interrupted. “But yes, the dragon is the Grail. And if we don’t get him turned back to cup form soon, Arthur will die. And the kingdom of Camelot will be ripe for Morgana’s takeover.”

  The air in the cave seemed to shift at the mention of the sorceress’s name and Sophie felt a small shiver trip down her spine. Morgana. She was back? Already? Sure, when they had defeated her the first time, she’d vowed revenge. But Sophie had been hoping that was just some bad-guy’s-last-line-in-a-video-game type of thing. Not to be taken literally.

  This was not good. Not good at all.

  “Okay, just let me ask you one thing,” Ashley broke in, holding out her hands, palms up. “Am I dead? Is this supposed to be my immortal punishment for living life as one of the cool kids? Trapped in Geeklandia Role-Play World for the rest of eternity?”

  Sophie groaned. “Yeah, Ashley. You totally guessed it,” she said dryly. “And the only way out is to not speak for three whole minutes.” She turned to Emrys and Nimue, trying to sound businesslike. “So why can’t you just turn the dragon back into the Grail and bring it to Arthur yourself?”

  “I tried,” Emrys admitted. “It didn’t work out so well.”

  “We need Merlin,” Nimue interjected. “But he’s on…?”

  “Spring break,” his apprentice finished. “Whatever that is.”

  “Merlin’s on spring break?” Sophie raised an eyebrow. “Seriously?” She tried to picture the magician partying it up on some tropical beach, wearing blue moon-and-stars swim trunks. “Where’d he go? Cabo? Cancún?”

  Emrys wrinkled his forehead, as if trying to remember. “He said it was Lost Vegas.”

  “Wait, do you mean LAS Vegas?” Ashley broke in. Because clearly three minutes of silence in exchange for her immortal soul was not a bargain she was willing to make.

  Nimue’s face lit up. “You know the place?”

  “I used to live there,” Ashley informed her proudly. “Well, a suburb just outside. Before my mom decided to drag me to Massivelyboring-chusetts, that is.”

  Sophie pursed her lips. “But there is no Vegas here, in this time period,” she mused, ignoring her almost stepsister. “There’s not even an America. Which means he must have time-traveled.” She ran a hand through her hair. “Though to what time period? That’s the question.”

  “I don’t know,” Emrys confessed. “He didn’t say.”

  “Are you sure?” Sophie urged him, not willing to give up. “I mean, maybe he mentioned something he was going to see? A certain sporting event? A historic casino heist?”

  “A BOGO sale at Forever 21?” Ashley suggested.

  Emrys shook his head. “I don’t know,” he moaned, staring down at the dragon, not meeting their eyes. “In truth, I wasn’t paying much attention. I was busy trying not to add too much salt to the pea soup.” He stuck out his tongue. “Merlin is obsessed with pea soup.”

  Sophie paced the cave, thinking hard. What would a Companion do in a case like this? she wondered. What would her mother do? Should she call her mother? No. She wanted to handle this by herself. She needed to. But where to even start?

  She turned to Emrys. “Think hard. You must remember something.”

  “Actually, he did mention one name,” Emrys said slowly. “But it didn’t make much sense.”

  “What was it?” Sophie felt her hopes rise.

  “Um…T-Swizzle?”

  Her shoulders slumped. “That’s doesn’t ring a bell. Maybe it’s some kind of candy he’s looking for?”

  “You aren’t serious,” Ashley broke in.

  “What?”

  “T-Swizzle? You don’t know T-Swizzle? That’s my girl Taylor Swift!” She beamed proudly. “I am a total Swiftie,” she assured Nimue and Emrys.

  “Um, congratulations?” Nimue said doubtfully.

  “So wait. Merlin’s friends with Taylor Swift?” Sophie stammered, trying to follow the conversation.

  “Doubtful,” Ashley sniffed. “She’s very particular about her squad. But,” she added, “she is on tour. And she performed in Las Vegas last night.”

  Sophie raised an eyebrow. “How do you know this again?”

  “Um, because I’m alive and breathing?”

  “Right.” Sophie sighed. “So, fine. Let’s say he went to Vegas to see Taylor Swift. But how are we going to find him? We don’t even know what hotel he’d be staying in.” Then a thought dawned on her. “Though we might be able to find out. If we check his computer.”

  “Computer?” Emrys questioned.

  “His magic box?” she clarified, remembering the wizard’s medieval term for his laptop.

  His face lit up. “Oh! That’s in the back room. Let me show you.”

  They walked to the back, where, sure enough, Merlin had a pretty sweet setup, especially for a time period in which electronics had yet to be invented. It was where he used to play the Camelot’s Honor video game online with Sophie and Stu, back before they knew he was really an ancient wizard and not a surfer dude from SoCal.

  Sophie leaned over the “magic box” and typed in Merlin’s password. Thankfully, he hadn’t changed it since the time Stu’s stepbrother, Lucas, had hacked his e-mail. But then there probably wasn’t a great need for Internet security in a time period that shouldn’t even have Internet. Once his e-mail program opened, she typed “Vegas” into the search field. A moment later a hotel confirmation popped up.

  She rose back to full height. “He’s staying at some place called the Excalibur.”

  “Isn’t that a sword?” Nimue asked.

  “It’s definitely a hotel,” Ashley assured her. “It looks like a castle on the outside. It’s pretty cool actually. And they have a big arcade.”

  “Sounds like Merlin’s type of place,” Sophie declared. “All right,” she said. “I’ll go and find him for you. Let him know he’s needed back here.” It wasn’t the most exciting quest on earth, but she figured it would be doable.

  “Great!” Emrys looked relieved. He strode over to Sophie and shoved the dragon in her direction. “Here you go! Good luck!”

  “Wait, what?” Sophie held up her hands and shook her head. “I can’t take a dragon to Vegas!”

  “But you have to!” Emrys cried. “We can’t keep him here. What if Morgana’s men come back?”

  “Or a dragon slayer decides to slay him for coin?” Nimue piped in. She gave Sophie a skeptical look. “Do you have dragon slayers in the future?”

  “We don’t even have dragons,” Ashley assured her.

  “Perfect!”

  Sophie was clearly not going to win this fight.

  “Okay, fine,” she said. “Go ahead and zap me and Fire-Breath to Vegas. And zap this one back home.” She nodded toward Ashley. “I think she’s suffered enough.” Or at least I have, she added to herself.

  “I do not know how to zap anyone,” Nimue confessed. “But here. These are the magic words of the Camelot Code. I believe they will transport you where you want to go.” She handed Sophie the scrap of paper while Emrys held out the dragon again. Sophie reached to take him.

  “C’mere, boy,” she said, resigned to her fate. “Let’s do this.”

  But to her surprise, the dragon refused to budge from Emrys’s arms, instead burying his face in the apprentice’s robes, whimpering. Sophie felt a shimmer of disappointment. Not that she’d wanted to take the dragon in the first place, but she’d thought the dragon would at least want to be taken.

  “I’m not going to hurt you,” she t
ried again. “I promise!”

  The dragon stuck his head back out from Emrys’s robes. Sophie started to smile at him. Then leaped back in alarm as he opened his mouth and shot a fireball in her direction, nearly setting her hair aflame.

  “Okay, okay! You’ve made your point,” she scolded the reptile. She turned to Nimue and Emrys. “Sorry. I don’t think he likes—”

  But she never finished her sentence. Because at that moment the dragon leaped out of Emrys’s arms…

  …and launched right for Ashley’s shoulder.

  “Ew!” Ashley cried, trying to shove him off with both hands. “Yuck! Yuck! Get it off me!”

  But the dragon didn’t take the hint. Instead he curled up on Ashley’s shoulder, snuggling his head against her neck. He made a little chirping sound that sounded like a purr, then closed his eyes.

  “He better not fart in my face,” Ashley declared.

  Sophie groaned and made another attempt to win over the dragon. “Come on,” she said, reaching out. “She doesn’t want you. Just come to me and I’ll take good care of you.”

  But the dragon was having none of that. He’d clearly found his spot and wasn’t about to leave it. Which was so annoying! Ashley didn’t even like the dragon and yet she got to be besties with it. How was that even fair?

  Nimue turned to Ashley. “It seems the fates have dealt their hands. If the dragon will only go with you, then you must go with the dragon.”

  “What? No!” Ashley spluttered. “I don’t have time to go to Vegas.”

  “But the fate of the world depends on it!”

  “Well, the world needs to get in line. My mom’s wedding comes first.”

  Sophie approached Ashley, making sure to stay on her non-dragon side, just in case. “Look, it won’t take any time at all,” she pleaded. “We’ll drop him off, then Merlin will zap us back to Massachusetts immediately. We won’t even be missed.”