Exes and Exorcisms

by Keira Blackwood

  I laughed. “You are unlike any vampire I have encountered before.”

  “Thank you,” he said, beaming as if I’d just praised him.

  It was a compliment, I guessed, given my history. I was beginning to discover that Kelly wasn’t an exception to the rule, but that there were two types of vampires—those who acted like monsters, and those who didn’t. Just like shifters, or humans.

  A strange hissing sound came from the alley outside the foil-covered window.

  I went to the glass to look, peeling back the foil a bit. I was careful not to let any of the last shreds of daylight land on Peter. “Meowcus Anthony is back,” I said.

  “Not you, too,” Peter said. “Why is everyone obsessed with a bunch of alley cats?”

  “They’re not regular cats,” I said, peering down to the quickly darkening alley below. “They have a story. It’s obvious if you just—”

  My jaw fell open when I spotted a huge black cat perched on top of a metal trash can. At that size, it had to be His Lordship King Snugglebumpkins. But there was no way.

  This cat was certainly regal, but he was clean. He looked like a fancy pampered feline from magazines that belonged to some rich lady who took him to kitty salons for the perfect blowout.

  He lifted his chin toward the sky, and I swear it was like his fur shimmered in an ethereal glow.

  Snowball rubbed herself all around the bottom of the trash can. That wasn’t so weird. But Meowcus Anthony did, too, along with a handful of other cats I had never seen before.

  One orange cat pushed his way closer to the can and Mewocus Anthony, clearly not wanting anyone to be closer to His Lordship than he himself was, tackled the orange tabby to the ground.

  “You think I should make up little stories for them?” Peter asked. “Who has time for that nonsense?”

  He pulled a pillow over his head and sighed.

  “You,” I said. “You have endless time where you do nothing.”

  I grabbed the pillow from his head.

  He rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine, maybe that’s true. But I prefer other kinds of nonsense to fill my endless time.”

  “Like giving people diseases?”

  “Yeah, sometimes,” he said. “But that’s not all that I am.”

  “Is that so?”

  “I fancy myself a poet. I figured you’d have gotten that by now.”

  I nodded. “Right.”

  The door jangled downstairs. I knew that it was Kelly, and my first instinct was to run and see her. But I didn’t move.

  “What happens when Marla comes home and finds you’ve taken over her room?” I asked Peter.

  “She’ll be in for an unpleasant surprise.” Peter laughed. “It’s about time for you to leave if you don’t want that case of warts I mentioned.”

  A layer of slime coated his hand and he started to sit up.

  I hurried for the door without arguing. As soon as I stepped into the hall, the door slammed shut behind me, and the click that followed suggested Peter had locked it again.

  I headed down the stairs, expecting Kelly to be pissed when she realized I had been in Marla and Grayson’s apartment with Peter and hadn’t dragged him out. But I found her fiddling with the desk, and she jumped when she saw me. She was acting shifty.

  “What’s the matter?” I asked.

  “Nothing,” she said under her breath.

  This was not the usual defiant Kelly. Something was seriously wrong.

  I sat down near her, but not too close because she stepped away. “Hey,” I said. “I’m here if you want to talk.”

  “I don’t need your pity,” she said. “I’m fine. Better than ever.”

  “It’s not pity,” I said. “It’s never pity.”

  She didn’t meet my gaze. Instead, she moved around the desk and headed toward the stairs.

  “I’m tired,” she said.

  It wasn’t that late. Seven, maybe.

  “While you were out, I noticed something strange,” I said.

  “Everything that Peter does is strange,” she said. “Better not to read too much into it.”

  “Not Peter,” I said. “His Lordship King Snugglebumpkins.”

  “What do you mean?” Her voice was laced with concern and she went to the back door and opened it enough to peek into the alley.

  “He doesn’t seem like himself.”

  My phone buzzed with a text. It was probably Clyde, but I wasn’t late for my check-in. I slipped my phone from my pocket to check. There were three texts, all from Clyde.

  Code yellow in Redemption.

  Not too far from where you are.

  You’re closest. If Forbidden is secure, I need you to take it.

  The vampires in Forbidden posed no real threat to their community. They were a part of what made Forbidden what it was—a charming, weird little town. I’d hardly spent any time exploring the place, but I knew that much to be true. A big part of what made it so appealing to me, though, was the woman standing with her head out the door.

  Kelly turned and frowned at me, shutting the door behind her. “I expected His Lordship to have an injury or something. He looks fine.”

  “But doesn’t he look too fine?” Okay, the words sounded bizarre even to me as I said them.

  Kelly made a weird face that said she thought I was nuts. “I don’t know what you’ve been drinking, but I think we could both use some rest. I’ll be upstairs, in my room. Good night, Xavier.”

  “I have a job,” I said.

  She stopped at the bottom of the stairs. “A vampire-murdering job.”

  “They’re not all like you,” I said.

  She shrugged. “See you if I see you.”

  She headed up the stairs without another word. She didn’t ask me to stay, or tell me I shouldn’t do it. She didn’t care if I came or went. The thought was sobering, and it hurt.

  “As you wish,” I whispered, knowing she couldn’t hear me.

  I gathered my things and texted Clyde.

  I’m on it.

  10

  KELLY

  As I listened to Yelling Man on the radio, I leaned against the window. I’d been in this position just a few days ago, watching the cat drama in the alley, before Peter and Xavier had arrived and everything changed. Now, I had my vampire blood brother squatting in Marla and Grayson’s apartment, my ex-boyfriend circling like a shark after chum, and a magical dildo in a box.

  I glanced behind me to said box. I’d smuggled it into the shop without Xavier noticing, but now it was upstairs in my room. I kept moving it around, trying to find the best hiding place. I had been too ashamed to tell Xavier what was in the box, and now I dreaded him seeing it. But why should I be ashamed, anyway? The man had dropped back into my life out of nowhere, intent on staking vampires.

  Not wanting to think about the banishing dildo, I turned back to the window. Meowcus Anthony was in rare form tonight, yowling out a monologue to his new paramour, Snowball. Cleocatra, jaded and betrayed, watched the pair for a moment before strolling over to the clear alpha male of the group. His Lordship King Snugglebumpkins stood on the lid of a dumpster, watching Meowcus Anthony’s antics with little emotion. He also completely ignored poor Cleocatra as she threw herself at him in a failed attempt to draw Meowcus Anthony’s attention.

  Ignoring Yelling Man’s radio show, I watched His Lordship, and his total lack of interest in any of the drama that was so clearly happening around him. That wasn’t right. His Lordship would never take such an affront to his reign without fighting.

  I stood up straighter, still watching.

  Xavier had been onto something. The way His Lordship licked a paw and then settled onto his belly was simply wrong.

  The poor kitten. Maybe he was depressed. I thought of calling Marla, but her first question would be about whether I’d been bringing him his strawberry doughnut each morning. And, of course, I hadn’t been. Maybe he was hungry, not depressed.

  I watched more carefully, wincing at Meowcus
Anthony’s amorous yowls. His Lordship flopped to his side, knocking Cleocatra from the trash can lid, and licked his belly fur as if cleanliness was his new life goal, not power. If he wasn’t depressed, perhaps his love for Snowball had changed him.

  Changed by love. It happened to everyone.

  Then again, Xavier and I were the same two people despite our love.

  Wait. What?

  Love?

  I couldn’t believe I’d just thought the word. I had a banishing dildo in my possession, for fuck’s sake.

  But I’d missed him. Over the past five years, he’d never strayed far from my thoughts. The very things that I loathed about him were also things I loved. But in moderation, of course.

  How was it possible to love someone and detest them at the same time? It’s a good thing we split up. We weren’t any good together. I’d repeated those phrases like a mantra, over and over again.

  But were they the truth?

  My phone buzzed in my back pocket, and I pulled it out.

  Cordelia: Have you used the spell yet? Did it work? Send that asshole out of your life for good!

  I haven’t, I texted back. He left on his own

  Cordelia: Oh. That’s anticlimactic

  I texted back, I know! But I think he’s coming back. I’ll let you know when I use it

  Cordelia: Sounds good. And you can keep the dildo, I forgot to mention that. Once the spell is done, it’s a perfectly usable sex toy. You’re welcome. It’s dishwasher safe

  I snickered and wrote, Thanks?

  Cordelia sent back a cry-laughing emoji. Smiling to myself, I set down my phone and returned to the window facing the alley. Snowball rubbed her horny little feline body against Meowcus Anthony.

  “Your Lordship, are you going to stand still and let them do this?” I whispered. “Right in front of you?”

  He couldn’t hear me, but he merely watched the betrayal in progress. He wasn’t defending his turf or his woman! Something was seriously wrong with him.

  It started as a soft hum. The opening notes to “Fortune Teller,” a Bobby Curtola song from the sixties that had been a small hit and hadn’t deserved to be.

  This wasn’t the radio—Yelling Man’s words started blurring together, muffled by the song.

  Oh no. Here it came. My feet started tapping to the music that was playing in my head. I was not a dancer, nor a singer. I’d never known my parents, but none of my foster families had been big on the performing arts. All of my creative energy had been siphoned into visual arts.

  And yet my new skills as a vampire came with the entertaining side effect of a song and dance routine.

  I spun around the apartment, singing about teenage hope coming in the form of a fortune teller’s crystal ball, and the vision played out in my head.

  Xavier. His arm sliced by fangs. His blood spilling across dead, blackened leaves. More vampires coming up behind him.

  The cheerful song I sang was at complete odds with the montage playing in my mind. Images of Xavier bleeding, his handsome face going pale with blood loss. Shadows descending over him.

  I stopped dancing, stopped singing. That was all the vision gave me.

  He’d only left a little while ago. There was still time to reach him, to warn him.

  I found my phone where I’d left it. Had his phone number changed? Could I even remember it? My fingers flew over the phone screen as I punched in his number, more from muscle memory than mental memory. It looked about right. Saying a silent prayer to whoever might listen to the wishes of a soulless, undead vampire, I hit the call button.

  The phone rang twice, then went to voicemail. “Leave a message for Xavier Breene.”

  That was all, but at least I had the right phone number.

  “Xavier, you’re in danger.” My heart jumped into my throat and made it hard for me to speak. “There’s more than one vampire. Please call me back. I’ll help you—”

  A beep sounded. “There is not enough space to continue your message. Please try again at a later date.”

  “The fuck!” I shouted, throwing my phone. It landed harmlessly on my cushioned chair by the window.

  I wanted to go to him, to help him, but I didn’t know where he was. I didn’t even have a bloody vehicle.

  Was this what he felt like, with the overpowering need to protect me? Was this why he’d always given me the third degree, every time I’d left the house when we were together?

  Because now I was starting to understand. Feeling powerless to help someone in danger was the worst feeling ever.

  11

  XAVIER

  The drive to Redemption took a few hours. First thing I did upon arrival to the little town was seek out the alpha. It was standard procedure, and exactly what I always did on every job...except for the one in Forbidden. Because Kelly was there.

  This was no time to rehash my mistakes. I was no longer afraid to admit when I was wrong, and I so often was.

  The Alpha, Kelson, was a middle-aged wolf with dark gray hair and a grizzled look about him. He seemed friendly enough, and positively giddy over my arrival. He insisted on me joining his pack for a bonfire instead of starting the job right away. We headed out before sunrise.

  “So you don’t bring any guys with you for this sort of thing?” Kelson asked as we forged deeper into the woods.

  Two of his men flanked us in wolf form, one in front, one in back, scouting for any sign of danger lurking. In my experience, most alphas didn’t keep a set of bodyguards for a walk in the woods, which meant either Kelson was overly cautious or the vampire threat had been particularly devastating to the community. Intuition suggested the latter.

  “I’m enough,” I told him.

  He tightened his jaw and glanced over at me, seemingly to size me up. It didn’t much matter what he thought. I was here for a job, plain and simple. No gray areas, no feelings.

  Kelson stopped walking and pointed. “My men tracked it there.”

  I peered down the slope following his direction. There wasn’t anything obvious to see. “Okay, that’s where I’ll start. Thanks.”

  “Do you want us to wait here? I could send Axel with you for backup.”

  The wolf ahead circled back and his agitation was palpable. It wasn’t exactly anger or fear, but some mix of the two. Even if I needed backup, I wouldn’t take this guy. He’d sooner get me killed by accident than help me.

  “I’m enough,” I told Kelson for the third time since I’d arrived. Then I headed down the hill with my crossbow slung over my shoulder, holy water strapped to my belt, and a stake in my hand.

  I could feel the gazes of the three wolf shifters on my back. They could watch if they wanted, so long as they didn’t interfere.

  The first shreds of morning light broke through the canopy overhead. Tracks littered the day-old snow. A few of them were wolf prints, most were human—boot-shaped. None who had walked here had been careful, which meant either the vampire didn’t care if he was found, or he actively invited confrontation, or he was so far degraded he didn’t think at all anymore.

  I followed the boot prints to a small cave. With the sun rising, the vampire was likely to be settling down to sleep. I headed in. The scent inside the cave was damp earth. There was enough light peeking in through the entrance of the cave and small breaks in the roof to light the way. I pulled my crossbow from my shoulder and entered a small room.

  In the corner, a petite figure knelt down beside an unmoving body. It wasn’t a male, after all, but a female vampire about Kelly’s size. I had plenty of time to take the shot, but I didn’t. I hesitated.

  Something grabbed me from behind—a second vampire I hadn’t seen before. I twisted from the vampire’s grip and kicked its legs out from under it. A second female. Half of her face was missing, and she snapped her jaw at me, like a brainless creature intent only on feeding.

  Another came from the shadows, the male. “Kill him so we may feast.”

  “Inconceivable,” I said, then squeezed t
he trigger, shooting him in the chest.

  His eyes went wide before his body poofed to dust. The female on the ground tore at my arm, her broken jaw seeking flesh. My blood spattered across the decaying leaves on the ground.

  I ended her as quickly as her companion, with a quick wooden bolt. As I rose to my feet, I felt myself sway. The wound on my arm was bleeding a lot. As a shifter, I’d be fine if I wrapped it soon.

  One vampire left—the first I had seen. She was still feeding on the body and hadn’t noticed me. Her grip on the body’s leg revealed that she had six fingers.

  Holy shit, I’d walked into The Princess Bride. I inched closer. She hissed and turned her head toward me.

  “My name is Inigo Montoya,” I said.

  She hissed again. No sense of humor. Obviously she had to die.

  Any similarity I’d thought there had been between this monster and Kelly was erased in an instant.

  “Wait your turn, wolf man,” she said before taking another bite.

  “What are the chances you function in society?” I asked, knowing the answer.

  She laughed and tossed a boot at me. Then she pounced, knocking me back before trying to bite my neck.

  “Zero,” she said just as I pierced her heart with my stake.

  Maybe there would be no simple, black-and-white view of vampires for me anymore. Not all vampires were evil.

  That was it. The Redemption job was over.

  I could return to Cincinnati, since there was no real job in Forbidden. But I didn’t like the way Kelly and I had left things. If she truly wanted me out of her life for good, she needed to tell me in no uncertain terms. Until she did, I could hold onto hope.

  I would hold onto hope indefinitely, because I knew with certainty that Kelly was my mate.

  Admitting the truth to myself lifted a weight from my chest. When we’d dated the first time, it hadn’t been quite right. I’d loved her, but it hadn’t been enough. I’d had to lose her to understand what I needed to change about myself. And I was a better man for it. She’d changed, too. She was stronger. If we both had been then who we were now, I wouldn’t have worried she would run away instead of telling me to sod off.