Loving Her Scars (Loving Her Scars Series Book 1)

by B M Griffin

  “The skills I mentioned having, well they’re more like powers, but most of the time they just feel like a curse. I have the ability to make my entire body light up in blue flames. When this happens, I can kill anyone with one simple bite or a tiny cut with my claws. The flames enter their body and burn them from the inside out. It is incredibly fast. They are ash in mere seconds. Because of this, some of our species have given me the nickname, the Premagati, or the vanquisher,” Adam’s voice was but a mere whisper.

  Shayla had tears in her eyes and her hands were beginning to shake when she spoke, “So, you are an assassin?”

  It wasn’t a question, but a statement. It was not something easy for Adam to answer. He had killed other werewolves, but only in defense. The wolves he had killed were deserved. Still, taking a life was not something to take lightly; he’d nearly gone crazy after the first time. He hadn’t even known he was capable of anything special. Until he was under attack, his life on the line, suddenly some untapped instincts just clicked; his wolf took over taking out the threat.

  “Shayla, I am not an assassin. I never set out with the goal to kill anyone. Those I have killed were trying to kill me or innocents who couldn’t protect themselves. I would never kill anyone if there was another choice; it is not something I am proud of. What I do like is my ability to protect you from anything or anyone who tries to hurt you, including Kevin Hall. You just have to let me do it.”

  Adam watched Shayla when he was finished talking. He was waiting for her to do or say something…anything. She was just sitting there, staring at him like he was a stranger, or worse, a wild animal and she was afraid to move. She was still shaking. After several minutes of nothing happening, he cautiously reached over to gently place his hand upon hers, but his movement woke her from her trance and she instinctively jerked her arm back before he could make contact with her skin.

  “Shayla,” Adam’s voice cracked, tears welling in his eyes. He was losing her; he never even had the chance to tell her he was in love with her. He realized in that moment he had allowed himself to have hope when she’d kissed him earlier; he should have known better. Hell, he did know better. This was the reason he hadn’t told her a long time ago. She had experienced too much bad in her life, and she couldn’t accept him for the monster he had become. In that moment, looking into Shayla’s fear-filled gaze, he knew what he was—a monster.

  Adam put back his hand, as if he was in pain, and covered his eyes. He couldn’t look at her and see the fear in her eyes, knowing it was he who had put it there. He couldn’t bear it—knowing that he was the reason she was afraid in that moment. Unexpectedly, two hands tentatively caressed his hair. Adam absorbed the warmth from Shayla’s touch, it had a powerfully calming effect on him. Still, he hesitated to lift his head and face her. He didn’t want to see the fear in her eyes; he had to be strong for her. He had just served her a platter of crazy. He wouldn’t lie and say he was prepared to lose her. He was prepared to ensure her safety no matter what she decided.

  Adam looked up and let his eyes meet Shayla’s. The fear was still there, but it wasn’t as prominent as before. Her fear was overshadowed by concern.

  “Adam, please I can’t stand to see you so upset. I just…I think I just need some time to let this all sink in.”

  “Of course,” Adam nodded his head like an over-excited kid agreeing to be good to have his pick in the toy store. “Take all of the time you need.”

  “Thank you,” Shayla gave him a small, forced smile. “I think I’m going to go to my room and lay down for the night. Maybe some sleep will help me process all of this, uh, information.”

  “Okay,” he said. He had to fight the urge to push her on the whole not working with Kevin Hall business, but she needed a break so he’d give it to her. He could revisit that topic in the morning, he wasn’t letting up where Kevin was concerned. She needed to stay far away from that bastard.

  ****

  Shayla

  “You’re going to work?”

  Shayla turned around at the sound of Adam’s voice. He was standing just inside her doorway, watching her put her blazer on with a look of disbelief painted on his face. Shayla was looking at him with the same expression. Why wouldn’t she be going to work? He might have clued her in that werewolves were more than fiction, but that didn’t preclude her showing up to work.

  “Yeah. I’ve got a lot to do with Megan out sick.”

  Adam ran his hand through his hair and she could practically feel the anxiety rolling off of him, and maybe a little bit of anger, although she had no clue why he would be angry with her.

  “Shayla, we never really came to an agreement about you not working with Kevin. I need to know you will cancel that contract, or at the very least, give it to someone else.”

  Shayla felt her eyebrows draw together as she stared at Adam in disbelief. He had made a solid case against Kevin, but he couldn’t do anything to her in public. She couldn’t jeopardize her career by giving him and his company the boot.

  “Adam, I told you I can’t do that. It would ruin my career and Megan’s. We are a team; anything I do affects her. I can’t do that to her. We have both worked way too hard to get this deal to just give it away to someone else.”

  Adam was pacing now like a caged animal. Yep, there had definitely been some anger hidden under his anxiety; it was on full display now. “Shay, have you forgotten everything I told you last night? Kevin and his whole company are dangerous. I can’t let you continue working with him after he threatened you.”

  “You said he threatened to make me his,” Shayla argued. “That will never happen. I don’t want anything to do with him personally. You don’t need to worry about that.”

  Adam took two large steps and was right in her face. “Do you think that will stop him, Shay? Do you think he got where he is by taking no for an answer? He will take what he wants, regardless of you saying no. I’m not letting you leave here unless you promise me you will get rid of him and his company as a client.”

  “I can’t promise you that.”

  Adam spun away from her, punching the wall in anger as he made his way of out her room. His fist went straight through to the other side. Shayla cried out at the sound of his fist connecting with the sheetrock. She had never been afraid of Adam, not once. Even when he told her he’d killed people she wasn’t afraid. She knew his actions were to protect himself and others. She had been really overwhelmed, but not afraid. Right, now-she was scared. Adam had never reacted so violently in front of her. They’d known each other a very long time with their share of heated fights; she had never seen him respond physically. The cracking sound of his fist brought back her past in a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. Eric was there. The cracking was now the sound of her breaking bones, as he hit her over and over again. Shayla brought her hands to her face and started sobbing. Her knees went weak and gave out underneath her; she was on her way down.

  Just before she hit the ground, two strong arms wrapped around her and pulled her into a warm body. She tried to yank away, but the arms wouldn’t relinquish their hold on her. “Eric, please don’t!”

  The arms holding her were gone in an instant, and so was the warm body they belonged to. Shayla slouched on the floor and sobbed, her body shaking with her tears. She wasn’t sure how much time went by before she sat up to look around. She was slowly able to return to the present. Eric had not been in her room again, this surprised her…he always kept her down. When she looked up and opened her eyes, she was looking into the tear-stained face of Adam. Why was he crying?

  Watching Adam, her mind came back and the fog cleared. She was no longer lost in a nightmare. Eric wasn’t here and he never would be again. That meant it had been Adam who’d caught her, Adam’s arms who had held her, his warm body pressed against her, and him trying to comfort her. She’d cowered away from him and called him Eric. She had never done that. Adam was the one person who could always break through her nightmares and comfort her, but this
time it hadn’t worked. This time he’d been the one to trigger the horrible memories and the one she’d begged to leave her alone.

  “Adam, oh god, I’m so sorry. I just, the sound from the wall, I guess…”

  Adam dropped to the floor in front of her and wrapped her in his arms. This time she didn’t pull away. Instead, she melted into his embrace absorbing the comfort his contact brought her.

  “You don’t have anything to be sorry for, Shay. This was all my fault. I shouldn’t have hit that wall. I should have known how seeing and hearing that would affect you. I promise I’ll never do anything like that again. I couldn’t bear it if you were afraid of me.”

  Shayla believed Adam’s words and knew that his apology was sincere. Still, a small part of her remembered the countless times Eric had promised the same things. Promised he didn’t mean to hurt her; begged her not to be afraid of him; swore he would never do anything to hurt her again. His promises had never been worthwhile. Shayla shook those thoughts out of her head. This was Adam, and he would never hurt her. Even now, he had not actually hurt her. He was frustrated and took it out on a wall. Eric would have made sure she received the full measure of his frustration. Adam wouldn’t do that. She trusted him. He was her best friend and she loved him.

  After a few minutes passed, she finally pulled back to look in his face. “I know you won’t hurt me. The sound of the wall cracking just threw me into the past. It was like I wasn’t here; like I had traveled back two years and Eric was about to break me. I’m not afraid of you. The sound just triggered a waking nightmare.”

  Adam ran his hand softly along her cheek and cupped her face. “Still, I shouldn’t have let my emotions get the better of me. It won’t happen again.”

  Shayla stared into his eyes and knew he had only gotten so upset because he was truly worried for her safety. Should she heed his advice? If he was as concerned as his outburst demonstrated, maybe she shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss his request. If she had listened to him about Eric, she could have saved herself a lot of pain.

  “I’ll call out of work today and you can help me come up with a plan to convince Megan that Hall Global Inc. is not a company we want to represent. Aside from convincing her of the truth, I honestly cannot think of any scenario that will convince her to voluntarily give up a contract we worked so hard to secure.”

  “Do you trust her?” Adam asked.

  “Yes. Other than you, she is my closest friend.”

  “Then we tell her the truth.” Adam stood and held his hand out to help her up. “You said she was at home today as well. Call and let her know we are on our way to see her.”

  “Wait, you want to go tell her right now? I don’t think she will be as easily convinced as me. She doesn’t know you like I do and she sees things in black and white, so to speak.”

  Adam smirked, “Oh, I think I can convince her.” His eyes once again flashed with the glowing blue light.

  Shayla took a step back and stared at him in shock. “You plan to show her what you are; not just tell her. Are you crazy?”

  “You said she won’t just believe my words; I have to make sure she understands the severity of the situation. We don’t have time to waste convincing her of the truth. To convince her you both need to steer clear of Kevin Hall and his company, I will have to show her what I am. I need to know you are both out of harm’s way before I report to my pack about Kevin’s plans. We've got to find a way to stop him. He is relentless and he will not quit until he has what he is after.”

  Fear spiked through Shayla’s veins. What the hell was he thinking? “Wait, you’re planning to take him on? Didn’t you say he has acquired the largest pack in existence?”

  “Did you forget what I told you about myself.” Adam gave her a serious look. “I may not have asked for this, but my ability will give my pack the advantage. Hopefully, this stunt of Kevin’s will be enough to convince Mike we can no longer sit idly by.”

  “Who’s Mike?”

  “My pack alpha. If my pack is to intervene, Mike must issue the order. No member of the pack can go against the alpha. We literally cannot defy his orders.”

  “What if he is wrong? You’re saying there is absolutely no way around him?”

  “There is one way, but I hope it doesn’t come to it.”

  “What is it?”

  Adam sighed and looked away. When he met her eyes again, Shayla knew she wasn’t going to like what he was about to say. “If someone wants to oppose the alpha, they can challenge him. If they win the challenge, they become the new alpha.”

  “And how do they win?”

  “They must fight the alpha. The wolf still alive at the end of the fight is the winner.”

  “That’s horrible.”

  “Now you see why I am hoping Mike will agree.”

  They both stood there in silence. Shayla didn’t know what to say or think. She didn’t need Adam to speak to know what he was saying. He would do anything to protect her. If his alpha ordered their pack to leave Kevin’s alone, Adam was going to challenge Mike for his position, and he would win.

  Adam took her hand and smiled. “Enough talk about that. Let’s go see if I can scare your friend with my wild side.”

  Shayla laughed and rolled her eyes. It felt good to laugh, she definitely needed it after everything that had occurred over the past twenty-four hours.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Adam

  Adam was getting frustrated with Shayla’s friend. Shayla had not been kidding when she said Megan saw things in black and white. He’d shown her his wolf’s eyes and she just laughed. His elongated teeth had done nothing to convince her either.

  “Megan, he’s telling you the truth,” Shayla told her friend.

  Megan rolled her eyes and laughed again. “Shayla, I love you, but sometimes I swear you can be so dense. Can’t you see what he’s doing?”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” Adam was losing his patience and getting irritated with Megan’s snarky attitude. He didn’t know what her problem was. They’d always gotten along before. He wouldn’t say they were friends, not like her and Shayla were, but now she was acting as if he was a nuisance.

  Megan looked at him with pursed lips, then turned back to Shayla. “He’s in love with you. He has been as long as I’ve known the two of you. From everything you have told me about Kevin’s behavior, it is obvious the guy is interested; your friend over here is just jealous. He has been sitting on the sidelines for years waiting for you to get over Eric so he could make his play for you. Now he realizes he might have waited too long.” Megan looked back at Adam. “I knew you were desperate for her attention, but I never would have imagined you’d be desperate enough to concoct a story so off the grid to get her attention. I’ve seen people at Halloween parties come up with better tricks than your eye and teeth gag.”

  “Megan, please…” Shayla started to argue with her friend again, but Adam stopped her.

  “No, Shay, she’s right. It would be easy enough for someone to create the illusion of glowing eyes and canine teeth, but they can’t do this.” Adam stepped back to a safe distance and he began pulling off his clothes.

  “Adam, what the hell are you doing?” Shayla yelled at him. “Put your clothes back on.”

  Megan smiled wickedly. “No, Shayla, let’s see what he’s hiding under there.”

  “Jesus, Megan, would you not encourage him right now?”

  Adam ignored them both and took off his remaining clothes. He looked Megan right in the eye and shifted into his wolf. Megan screamed, and jumped back against the wall. He looked at Shayla to see her eyes wide with shock; she didn’t move away, that gave him hope.

  “What the fuck?” Megan yelled. “Shayla, get away from him. Are you crazy?”

  Shayla looked behind her at her friend. “Megan, I understand that this is a lot to take in, but he is still the same Adam and he won’t hurt me.”

  Adam looked at Megan and gave her a sharp, wolfy grin.


  “How can you be sure of that?” Megan asked Shayla. Her voice was shaky and Adam knew she was frightened, so he shifted back to his human form. He hadn’t come here to scare her. He just needed her to accept the truth about Kevin.

  Shayla looked back at Adam and smiled shyly. “I’m pretty sure he loves me,” she said, in reply to Megan.

  Adam had bent to grab his clothes; he froze when those words left Shayla’s mouth. She was right, of course, and after the kiss, they shared he knew she was aware he felt more than just friendship. Looking into the eyes of his best friend, the woman he loved more than life, he decided it was time to own those feelings. “I do,” he said. “I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember, since we were kids taking turns pushing each other on the swings at the park.”

  Shayla’s smile brightened and his heart flipped in his chest. God, she was beautiful. Megan interrupted the moment. “Seriously, Shayla, did you listen to anything I said earlier? Of course, he loves you. Even a blind man could see that. That doesn’t change the fact he is a freaking werewolf. What if he loses control or accidentally bites you? Do you want to become what he is?”

  “I won’t hurt her. Ever.” Adam was practically growling at Megan. “I have been a werewolf for the past couple of years. I know how to control my wolf. Shayla is safe with me.”

  Shayla stood up between them. “Can the both of you just stop. Megan, I understand you’re just concerned, but I am safe with Adam. Now, can we please get to the real reason we shared this with you.”

  Megan folded her arms over her chest and glared at Adam, but after a minute or so passed, she finally agreed. “Fine,” she said, through gritted teeth. “Why was it you felt I needed to know Adam here could go all furry?”