by Ramona Gray
“Matt’s sad, sweetpea. He needs a hug.” Nat leaned down and lifted Phoebe into her lap.
Phoebe yawned before patting my cheek. “No sad, Mattie.”
I put my arms around both of them and kissed Natalia’s upper chest before kissing Phoebe’s cheek. She smiled and yawned again before resting her forehead against my chest. “I love Mattie, Mama.”
I stiffened, but Nat rubbed Phoebe’s back. “That’s good, sweetpea.”
Phoebe lifted her head and gave me a sleepy look. “Mattie love Phoebe?”
“Yes,” I said. “I love you, Phoebe.”
She gave her mother a pleased look. “Mattie loves me.”
Nat smiled at Phoebe. “I heard.”
Phoebe rested her forehead against my chest again. I kissed the top of her delicate skull and held both of them a little tighter. I figured Phoebe was asleep again, but Nat made no move to return her to their bed.
“Mattie love Mama?” Phoebe’s voice broke the silence.
“Yes.” My voice was steady. “Mattie loves your mama.”
Natalia’s soft gasp was muffled by Phoebe’s giggle. “Mattie loves Mama, Mattie loves Mama,” she sang before lifting her head. “I gotta pee, Mama.”
Nat tugged at my arm and I let go of them so she could slide from my lap. Holding Phoebe on her hip, she left the kitchen without a word. I stared at my stew for a few minutes before standing and walking upstairs to my bedroom.
I’d fucked up, but I didn’t regret what I’d said. I loved Natalia and the weight of keeping that to myself was taking a toll. She didn’t love me. In the morning she would take Phoebe and leave and I would be alone, but I wouldn’t take back what I said, even if I could.
I stripped off my shirt and tossed it in the laundry hamper. Before I could take off my track pants, Natalia was standing in my room. She shut the door and stared silently at me.
“Is Phoebe…”
“Asleep again.”
I stayed where I was next to the laundry hamper, not entirely sure what to say or do.
“Did you mean what you said?” Natalia asked.
“Yes. I love you, Nat. I’ve been in love with you for the last six months. I haven’t slept with a woman since the day I walked into the diner and saw you for the first time. I go to the diner every day and eat greasy food because going twenty-four hours without seeing you is a nightmare.”
Her cheeks were flushed, and she looked like she was on the verge of crying. Feeling terrible for upsetting her, but unable to stop the rush of words, I continued. “I’ve never had a serious relationship, I’ve never understood why people committed themselves to one person, but that changed when I met you. I don’t know why, and I don’t care. All I know is that I can’t live without you. I want to know everything about you. I want you here in my home and in my bed for the rest of our lives. I love you and I love Phoebe, and I don’t want to be without either of you. If you give me the chance to prove it to you, I will do everything in my power to be the best husband to you and the best father to Phoebe. I promise.”
She didn’t reply and I cursed inwardly. “You don’t feel the same way, I know that, but I’m hoping you’ll at least try dating me. Give me the chance to -”
“I feel the same way.”
I blinked at her, certain I’d misheard her. “What did you say?”
She walked toward me and wrapped her arms around my waist. “I love you too.”
“Bullshit,” I said, and then winced.
She laughed and poked me in the chest. “Least romantic answer, ever, Matt Andrews.”
“You – you don’t love me,” I said. “It’s been a week, people don’t fall in love in a week.”
She shrugged. “I do.”
“Why do you love me?”
Jesus, man, what the fuck? Shut your mouth!
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s the way you are completely and totally gaga about my kid, maybe it’s how you let us stay with you when we had no place else to go, or how you make me feel special and beautiful, or how you take care of me. Or maybe,” her soft hands caressed my chest, “it’s how easily you make me cum with that thick cock of yours.”
My shock was starting to ease, and I studied her before giving her a smug smile. “I am really good in bed.”
She laughed and cupped my face. “There’s the Mattie I love.”
“You seriously love me,” I said.
“I seriously do. I know it’s quick but, in my defense, I was actually stupidly attracted to you the whole time I was pretending you were the most annoying man in town. So, it’s not that much of a stretch to go from ‘I wanna repeatedly bang this hot guy’ to ‘I am in love with this guy who is not only hot, but is kind and funny and sweet and rubs my feet, and who loves both me and my kid’.”
She traced the remnants of the princess tattoo that still clung to my chest, “Besides, in the fairy tales, the princess always falls in love with her prince after only a few days. Right?”
“I love you, Nat,” I said.
“I love you too.” She gave me a soft smile. “Now, what do you say we climb into your nice comfortable bed over there and bang like bunnies, Prince Charming?”
I picked her up and kissed her hard on the mouth. “Your wish is my command, princess.”
* * *
Natalia
“Wait… you and Phoebe have moved in permanently with Matt?” Maggie gave me a look of shock.
I sipped at my tea, raising my voice a little to be heard over the sounds of the others in Mugs coffee shop. For a Tuesday afternoon, it was weirdly busy. “Yes. I mean, I haven’t moved everything over from the trailer yet, but I did give my landlord my notice. I have the place until the end of the month, but we’re staying with Matt. After we’re finished here, I’m taking Pheebs to the trailer to start packing.”
“Mama?” Phoebe was sitting at the table beside me, her crayons and colouring book in front of her. “I want more hot chocolate.”
I shook my head. “No can do, sweetpea. As it is, you probably won’t nap at all. Too much sugar makes Pheebs a hyper pants.”
“Hyper pants!” Phoebe hollered before grinning at Maggie. “I a hyper pants, Maggie.”
Maggie smoothed Phoebe’s hair. “Moving in together is a big step.”
I nodded. “I know, but I love him, Mags. It’s quick, but… we love each other, and I want to be with him. He’s sweet and kind and he loves Phoebe and -”
“Hey,” Maggie gave me a small smile, “I get it. I’m happy for you, Nat. Truly.”
“Thanks.” My cell phone rang, and I dug it out of my purse, frowning at the unfamiliar number. “Hello?”
“Natalia, it’s Evan.”
My mouth dropped open and I glanced at Phoebe. “Evan? Why are you calling me?”
“I’m in town for a while. We need to talk.”
“You’re in town? Now?”
Maggie was staring wide-eyed at me and I gave her my own look of shock.
“Yes. Can you meet me or not?” Evan’s voice was impatient.
“Maybe,” I said. “When?”
“Right now would be ideal,” he replied. “I stopped at the diner and they said it was your day off, so I know you have time. Meet me at the Jade Cuisine in ten minutes.”
Feeling off-kilter and sluggish, I put my phone on mute and stared at Maggie. “Evan’s in town. He wants to meet right now.”
“I’ll come with you,” Maggie said immediately.
“Actually,” I glanced at Phoebe, “would you mind watching Phoebe while I meet him. I don’t want her to see him, not just yet. You know?”
“Yeah. I’ll stay here with Pheebs, but as your lawyer – do not agree to anything he asks, or sign anything he gives you. Okay?”
“I won’t,” I said. I unmuted my phone and stuck it back to my ear. “I’ll see you in ten minutes, Evan.”
“Good.” He disconnected the call.
I threw my phone into my purse and touched Phoebe’s face. “Sweetpe
a, Mama has to run a quick errand. You’re going to stay here with Aunt Maggie, okay?”
“Otay,” she said. She handed a crayon to Maggie. “You colour with me?”
“Sure.” Maggie took the crayon before smiling reassuringly at me. “It’ll be fine, Nat. You’re not alone, you have Matt and you have me. Okay?”
“Okay,” I said. I kissed Phoebe and hurried out of Mugs.
* * *
“Natalia. You’re looking… tired.” Evan stood when I approached him and pressed a brief kiss against my cheek.
The smell of his expensive cologne washed over me, and my stomach churned at the familiar smell. He studied me silently and I pulled self-consciously at my jacket. I’d bought it at the Goodwill last year and I knew it looked faded and cheap. Evan was dressed immaculately in dress slacks and a leather jacket that probably cost more than a month’s rent for my trailer.
I cleared my throat and sat down at the table, not bothering to remove my jacket. A waiter appeared and poured me a glass of water.
“Are we ready to order?”
“I’ll have the lunch special.” Evan closed his menu with a snap. “Natalia?”
“Just water,” I said. My stomach was still churning, and I had no appetite.
The server walked away, and I took a sip of water to ease my dry throat. “When did you get into town?”
“Last night.” Evan took off his jacket and set it on the empty chair between us. “I’ll get right to the point. I want to change our existing custody agreement. I want partial custody of Phoebe.”
My entire body stiffened and my fingers clamped around the water glass. “What?”
“I want partial custody of Phoebe.” He sat back in his chair and gave me a stiff smile. “She’s my daughter too, Natalia.”
“You’ve never wanted anything to do with her,” I said. “Ever. And now suddenly, you think I’m going to allow you to have partial custody of her?”
“You’re not going to allow me to do anything. I’m her father, I have a right to see my daughter.”
“Yes, you do,” I said. “I will be happy to arrange for you to have visitation with her. All you need to do is give me a week’s notice and I’ll make sure she’s available for you to see when you’re in town.”
He shook his head. “I have a busy schedule and coming back to his piece-of-shit town once a month isn’t happening. Phoebe will come to me.”
I laughed in his face. “You can’t be serious.”
“I am,” he said.
“She doesn’t know you,” I replied. “If you think I’m going to send my three-year-old child to a different state every month to be alone with a man she doesn’t know, you’re insane, Evan.”
“It’s my right,” Evan snarled. “I’m paying child support every goddamn month, I wanna see the kid.”
“So that’s it,” I said as awareness dawned. “You’re pissed that you have to pay child support. You don’t want to see or even care about Phoebe. You just want to punish me for forcing you to pay child support.”
The way his body tensed, the deliberate way he tapped his fingers against his chin – his tell for when he was lying - told me I was right.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said. “I am her father and I have the right to see her. There’s nothing else to say. Now,” he reached down and grabbed a leather briefcase at his feet and set it on the on table, “these are papers I’ll need you to sign. I’ve had my lawyer draw up the new custody agreement. It’s marked where you should sign.”
He pulled out a packet of papers and set them in front of me before dropping a pen on top of the paper. “Go ahead.”
I brushed the pen away and picked up the documents. “I’ll have my lawyer review them.”
He sighed loudly. “Look, maybe your little hick town lawyer was able to get you child support, but this is something entirely different. My lawyer will chew her up and spit her out if required. Do you get that? Do us both a favour and sign the papers. Phoebe can start living with me part time next month. Once she starts going to school, we’ll figure out a different arrangement, but for now, two weeks every month with me is reasonable.”
I stood, locking my knees so he wouldn’t see the way my legs trembled, and shook my head. “No. This isn’t happening, Evan.”
“It is,” Evan said. “You can’t win.”
“My lawyer will be in touch.” I turned and walked out of the restaurant, keeping my shoulders back and my spine straight. My courage lasted until I was safely in my car. My body shaking wildly, I buried my face in my hands and sobbed.
* * *
“Honey, it’ll be okay. He’s not going to win partial custody when he’s never had anything to do with Phoebe.” Matt gave me a worried look as I paced back and forth in his kitchen.
It was late, after eleven, but I couldn’t sleep. I’d spent almost two hours with Phoebe after she fell asleep, just holding her and staring at her sweet face. The idea of not being with her, of not seeing her for two weeks at a time made me physically ill.
I pressed a hand against my stomach. “But what if he does? I can’t go two weeks without seeing her, Matt.”
“You won’t.” Matt stood and pulled me into his arms. He kissed me sweetly and rubbed my back. “He won’t win, sweetheart. Maggie told you he wouldn’t.”
“She said that, but I could see that she was worried,” I replied. “Judges award partial custody to fathers all the time.”
“We won’t let that happen.”
“We’ll have to go court,” I said dully. “I know Evan and he’s not gonna let this go until he gets what he wants. And what he wants is for me to suffer. Maggie is already saying that she’ll do this for free, but I can’t do that to her, Mattie. I can’t. She’s my friend but I can’t take advantage of her like that. Except I don’t know how I can pay her.”
I rubbed at my temples. “Phoebe starts at the new daycare next week, but maybe I could ask Nana to babysit Phoebe in the evenings in exchange for me doing weekly housecleaning for her. Walmart is hiring part time right now. If I could get hired for evening shifts, then that would help me at least do a payment plan with Maggie or -”
“Sweetheart, stop.” Matt’s warm hands cupped my face.
I stared blankly at him as he pressed another kiss against my mouth before resting his forehead against mine. “You’re not alone anymore. You and me,” he kissed me again, “we’re a team, Natalia. Right? We weather this storm together. Which means, I’ll help cover the costs of Maggie’s fees.”
“What? No, I can’t ask you to -”
“You’re not asking, I’m offering.” He gave me a lopsided grin. “Baby, I am crazy about you and your kid, and I will do whatever it takes to keep the both of you happy. We’ve got this. All right?”
Hot tears slipped down my cheeks and my lower lip trembled. Matt wiped the tears away with his thumbs. “Don’t cry, sweetheart.”
“I love you,” I whispered. “I love you so damn much, Mattie.”
“I love you too, sweetheart.”
Chapter Eleven
Natalia
“Mama!”
“Hi, sweetpea.” I zipped my jacket up over my uniform and weaved my way around the tables toward the front door. Matt was standing there with Phoebe in his arms and my heartbeat sped up. God, he was so handsome.
And sweet. And kind. And, also, amazing in bed.
Yeah, he was definitely all of that. Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life and Matt had been my rock. When we’d gone to bed, I’d been weirdly desperate for him and he hadn’t made me feel stupid or awful for wanting to bang his brains out when I was so stressed about having my daughter taken away from me.
He’d given me exactly what I needed and wanted, and to my surprise, I’d managed to get a few hours of solid sleep last night. Considering how busy it’d been at the diner today, I’d needed the sleep.
“Matt picked me up from Nana’s, Mama!” Phoebe sang out. “I love Mattie and he loves me!”
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I made a little squeak of surprise when Matt pulled me into his embrace. He kissed me on the mouth as Phoebe giggled before poking him in the cheek. “You kissin’ Mama, Mattie.”
“I am, Pheebs Bo Beebs,” he said with a grin.
I glanced around the diner. It was still full of people from the dinner rush and everyone was staring at us.
“Nat?” Matt squeezed me gently and I turned my attention back to him. “You okay?”
“Everyone’s looking at us,” I said.
“So what?” He gave me a careless grin that brought an answering one to my lips. “I want everyone to know how crazy I am about you.”
“Crazy, crazy, crazy,” Phoebe sang under her breath.
“You ready to go?” Matt took my hand.
“Yeah, let’s go home.”
Still holding Phoebe, Matt pushed open the door of the diner and led me outside. His truck was parked at the far end of the lot and he pulled Phoebe’s hood up to cover her head before kissing her cheek.
“I need to keep my Pheebs warm, right?” He said.
“Yep,” she said. “Mama, can we have hot dogs for dinner?”
“Not tonight, sweetpea,” I said. “Tonight, we’re having chicken and salad.”
“I want hot dogs.” Phoebe’s mouth drew down in a pout. “I want hot dogs and chips and a banana.”
“Yes to the banana, no to the hot dog and chips,” I said before turning to Matt. “How was your day at work, honey?”
“Slow. Mia and I spent most of the day cleaning and reorganizing our rig.”
“Thank you for picking up Phoebe from Martha’s house. I appreciate it.”
“No problem.”
I let go of his hand and reached behind him to squeeze his ass. “I’m planning on showing you just how much I appreciate it after the munchkin falls asleep.”
“Sweet.” He gave me a lecherous grin that made me laugh. “I’m more than -”
“Natalia?”
I stumbled to a stop, dropping my hand from Matt’s ass as I slowly turned. Evan was standing behind us and I gave Matt a nervous look as he turned around too.