I step close enough that I can smell the sun and sweat of her skin. “Our fling doesn’t end until Friday at midnight.”
She frowns. “That’s not in the rules.”
“You said Friday. So Friday is mine. All of it. Guess that means I’ll be going to the dinner.”
“You’re not even going to be here. You’re leaving Friday.”
“I can leave after the dinner.”
“You want to go? To the dinner?” She pulls off her hat. My mother’s hat. “First of all, it’s formal, Anthony. There are rules and dress codes and political correctness. You would hate it.”
“So? It’s your turn to plan a date I’ll hate.”
“I’m serious. You have to rent a tuxedo. Make small talk and call people ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’ and hop through every hoop you come to with a smile on your face.”
I jam my hands in my pockets to keep me from balling them into fists. “What’s wrong with me going as I am?”
“Because that’s not how these things work. It’s not how my life works.” Her eyes turn shiny. “This is the problem with us. If you were a part of my life, there would be lots of dinners. Lots of hoops. Is that what you want?”
“Maybe it is.” I kick my feet wide, fold my arms over my chest. “Invite me to the dinner.”
“Anthony.” She sighs, staring up at me with some kind of plea in her eyes. “Is this you trying to make some kind of a point?”
“This is me asking you to ask me to the dinner.” I pin her with my eyes, waiting for an answer I don’t want to hear. Because nothing has changed for her. I see that now. Nothing ever will. I’ll never be boyfriend material in her eyes. I just need her to admit it so I can get the hell out of here.
“Anthony. Please.”
I bite back a curse. “You can’t do it because you never wanted this to be more than temporary. After everything, I’m still just a distraction, aren’t I?”
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s the truth. Guess I just needed the reminder.” I grab my hat. “You’re a stickler for the rules, so. Rule 3. Either one of us can end it at any time. Consider it over.”
“Anthony.” Emotions swirl in the depths of her eyes, shadows I can’t read.
Just then, the door opens. Sunlight floods in. I turn, blinking hard as if it’s the sudden brightness that’s making my eyes burn.
Amber stands in the door, looking confused. “Anthony? Mai?”
“We were just talking.” I grab my hat and stride to the door, pausing to look back at Mai. “We’re all done now.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Mai
“Mai, wait a moment.”
I pause with my hand on the front door handle. Mom and Dad are sitting in the living room, lamps on over their leather chairs, books in their laps. Dad pulls off his readers. “I need to finalize our number for the fundraising dinner. Have you asked Grant?”
I sigh. Loudly. “No, Dad. Let’s just go the four of us.”
“Mai.” It’s a plea from Mom, who is looking at me as if her entire happiness and the future of the planet rests in my arms. Or maybe on my shoulders. That’s how it feels.
“Just as a friend,” Mom adds. “A family friend. But it would be nice coming from you.”
“And think of Grant,” Dad says. “He’ll have an opportunity to do some networking.”
Here they are—all the reasons stacked one on top of the other. Rational. Logical. Impossible to argue. If I do argue, there will be more reasons. There are always more. Still, I hesitate.
“Think it through, Mai.” I nearly groan at the words that always come in one form or another. Dad folds his glasses. “It seems like an easy decision. Unless there is a reason why you don’t want to invite him?”
“Is there something we should know?” Mom adds.
There was. This morning. And now? I can’t explain that to invite Grant would be betraying a guy I’m not even flinging with anymore. “No. Nothing you should know.”
Mom smiles. “Then give him a call.”
“I’ll call him tomorrow. I’m on my way out.”
“It won’t take but a few minutes, and even though Grant owns his own tuxedo, he still needs time to plan.”
“Josie is waiting, Mom.”
“Josie can wait five minutes.”
They both continue to stare.
I clench my fists and run through all the curse words I never use. Then I pull out my phone and dial. I’m hoping for voicemail.
Grant answers. “Hey, Mai.”
“Hey. So.” I look at my parents. “Sorry this is so last minute. I’m with my mom and dad. We were wondering if you wanted to come with us to the Community Cares fundraiser? It’s a black tie. Friday night. Ethan will be there, too.”
“Yeah. Sure.” I hear the smile in his voice. “I’d love to.”
“Okay. Good. Great.” I give Mom and Dad a thumbs up. “I’ll text you the invite with all the details.”
When I hang up, Mom shakes her head.
“What?”
“It wasn’t a very personal invitation.”
I bite my lip because it’s that or scream. “I invited him. Isn’t that the point? Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“We hope it’s what you want, too,” Dad says.
I force a smile. “Yep. It’s going to be great. And now you know so you can finalize the numbers.”
Dad smiles as he reclines in his chair again. “I already confirmed us for five.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Anthony
“The Rogue River.”
Cooper gives me a surprised look as I wedge the car into a spot a few houses down from Jason’s. The street’s already full of cars for the pool party. The last thing I’m in the mood for is a party, but I’m glad for the distraction. Glad to hang out with the guys. With Cooper. Even when he’s sporting god-awful Bugs Bunny swim trunks and pink flip-flops.
“You think that’s the spot?” he asks.
“Yep. Decided this morning.” There are a lot of trails, and Coop has helped me look over the maps. I’ve been needing to narrow it down. Choose the most likely spot where I think I can leave Dad. “First I’m stopping in San Diego to hang with Troy and then up to Oregon.”
“Why the Rogue?” He pops open his seat belt. “Besides the fact that it’s got a badass name.”
“Right?” I grin. “Guess I got tired of overthinking it. I want to get on the road.” I unfold the windshield shades and prop them on the dash. It’s six o’clock, but the sun is still brutal.
“Yeah? Thought you weren’t in such a hurry. What about the trail project?”
“I’m going to switch to a different one.”
“Since when?” He pulls off his sunglasses, squinting like he can read my face.
“This morning.”
A group of three girls walks by in tank tops and shorts. Cooper pauses to check them out. “Guess Jason’s got some new friends.”
“Must be from his job at the waterpark.”
“He’s having a better summer than I am.” Cooper’s been working at his dad’s carpet cleaning business. His baseball tan is already fading from all the time indoors. “So what’s up with the trail project? I thought you were all into it?”
I shrug. “Not really my thing.”
“You’re the one who volunteered.”
“Dude, it’s too hot for twenty questions.”
“So turn the car back on.”
I sigh but start the engine so cold air pumps through the vents.
“What are you not telling me?” Cooper scratches at his chin. He’s growing back his scraggly beard. “You volunteer for a project from hell and leave me and Tucker hanging every night this week.”
“Yeah. Well.” I rub at the back of my neck. “There was a
girl.”
Coop smacks my shoulder. “I asked you that, dude. You said there wasn’t.”
“I was playing it close. Knew it wasn’t going to last.” I turn off the car again, since that’s going to end this conversation quicker than anything. “And it didn’t.”
“Yeah?” He pauses. “And you’re cool?”
“I’m chill. You know me.” I ignore the tightness in my throat. My chest. Fake it until you feel it.
“Well, all right, then.” Cooper’s grin flashes wide. “Let’s go meet some girls.”
Jason’s party is already going strong when we let ourselves in. I met Jason freshman year at baseball tryouts. He was the goofy redhead who weighed less than a bag of sand and didn’t look like he could play. Which, as it turned out, he couldn’t. But the guy had wheels, and he spent four years on the team, pinch-running and warming the bench. He also took over hosting duties for baseball parties. I spent a lot of nights on his couch, watching games and shooting the shit.
He grins when he sees us and heads our way. I pretend to shield my eyes as he gets closer. He’s wearing swim shorts with coconuts and bananas but arranged so you don’t think of coconuts and bananas.
“Dude,” Cooper says. “Those are awful. Where do I get a pair?”
Jason laughs. “Glad you guys made it. Come on in. Meet a couple of my co-workers.” He points to two girls standing by the door. “Candice and Delia.”
They smile. I smile back. It reminds me how uncomplicated all of this can be. Should be. Coop is already holding out a hand to Candice with a look I recognize. She’s a blonde—his weakness. I’m fine with that because Delia has auburn hair and pretty green eyes. They’re missing the spark of a certain pair of brown eyes, but they make me think of the rivers I’ll be visiting soon.
“It’s about time Jason invited a little class to the party,” I say.
“You kidding?” Jason waves me off. “I’m all the class you can handle.”
“You two work at the water park?” Cooper asks.
Candice nods. “Snack bar.”
“You guys gotta come by,” Jason says. “I can get you in half price on Thursdays.”
“Got a little thing called a job,” Cooper says.
“I’ve been working a trail project.”
“Trail project?” Delia asks.
“It’s for the city,” I say. “We’re closing off a spur trail in South Mountain Park and grooming another one.”
“Really?” She frowns. “Which one? I run over there. Hope it’s not one of my routes.”
“Think it’s called Old Gulch?”
“Doesn’t sound familiar.” She smiles. “Is there a New Gulch?”
“No, but I think there’s a Young Gulch.”
She smiles again. She has a kick-ass smile.
“Come on,” Jason says. “Let’s get you guys a drink. I’m making my famous frozen grapefruit.”
“You put in enough sugar this time?” Cooper asks.
“Dude!” Jason says.
Delia holds out her cup to me. “You can try mine.” There’s an invitation in her eyes. I’m pretty sure it’s for more than a drink. Why not flirt a little? It’s not as if I have anyone special. The thought stabs at me, my stomach muscles tightening defensively. But how do you fight off pain that comes from inside? I take the cup from her, tip it until the icy liquid hits my tongue. There’s so much sugar, the drink is thick and grainy. “Think he forgot the grapefruit this time.” I hand her back the cup. “Thank you. Very sweet.”
Her smile seems to be saying, Yeah, I am.
“Come on,” Jason says.
I smile into her green eyes. “Later?”
“I’ll be here.”
Cooper and I follow Jason to the kitchen. While he mixes another blender, we catch up with a few of the other guys from the team. Most of them are staying local for college and working odd jobs for the summer. No one’s thinking past the next hour, much less the next week, and I let myself sink into the moment. This is all there is—now. I’ve got to forget the morning. Forget the past week.
Forget the girl who will have no trouble forgetting me.
Cooper and I take our full cups and head back to the family room. The door keeps opening, and more people come in. The conversation shifts, and the groups flow around each other. Delia and I exchange smiles from across the room until Scottie, one of the baseball assistants, drags me to the back bedroom for a rematch of Madden football. It’s a while later when I find Coop in the kitchen, raiding a jar of mixed nuts.
“There you are,” he says. “I was worried you might have taken off.”
“Just getting warmed up.”
“All right, well, don’t worry about the ride. I can make it home if you get a better offer.”
He shoots a quick look to where Delia is standing with a few other girls, including Candice.
“Or you get one?”
“If I’m lucky.” He tosses nuts in his mouth. “You seem more yourself, finally. You’ve been on another planet since graduation.”
I think about telling him the girl was Mai. It might be good—hear him say, What the hell were you thinking? But she’s in my head and in every tense muscle and in the twist of my gut. I don’t want her name in my mouth, the taste of her on my tongue.
“Yo!” Tucker appears and throws an arm over our shoulders. “With the eye candy we have here tonight, I’m feeling up for a game of pool chicken. What do you think?”
Coop gestures with his chin hair. “I think that is inspired, my friend.”
The doorbell rings, and the three of us look up. It’s the first time it’s gone off all night. People just walk in. No one rings the bell.
Except.
Tucker’s grin confirms my thought. “Well, look who’s here.”
Josie walks in, and beside her is Mai.
Wearing red lipstick.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Mai
I’m barely in the door and my eyes have already shot right to him like I’m an Anthony-heat-seeking missile. He looks ridiculously good. Sleeveless black tee. Blue board shorts. Hair curving forward over sharp cheekbones and those lips I love. I also don’t miss the way his jaw clenches when he sees me. I’m fairly certain eyes can’t boil, but his are doing a very good impression.
I’m boiling, too—a mix of all the emotions I’ve kept bottled up. I wasn’t sure he’d be here. Told myself I hoped he wasn’t.
Such a lie.
I told myself I could see him and not care.
Bigger lie.
I rub my Brilliant Red lips together and desperately search for the emotions I want to feel. Relieved. Calm. Disinterested. All day I’ve been swamped by the things I don’t want to feel. Disappointed. Sad. Lost.
Lost?
We’ve been flinging for less than a week.
I know what it means to be lost. There is nothing to feel lost about.
I’m so frustrated, I could scream. This was my whole day—emotions ping-ponging back and forth and none of them making any sense.
I fumed as I showered, shaved every inch of my legs, and slathered myself with lotion. I’m not supposed to invite Grant to the dinner, but Anthony doesn’t really want to go—not enough to make a few concessions. He acted like I was cheating on him when we both agreed to a fling with no strings. If he wants to end things now, then fine.
His loss.
There was more fuming while I hunted for my favorite one-piece—in red—with a low-cut bodice and a tiny bow in the center. My A cups might be small, but they are mighty fine.
His huge loss.
As I slipped on flip-flops, I decided that this was for the best. Perfect, in fact. We were over without any sad good-byes to suffer through. I couldn’t have planned it any better.
And then the lipstick was in my h
and, and in the mirror was a girl with red lips and hopeful eyes I didn’t recognize. A girl with thoughts I didn’t want. A speeding pulse I couldn’t calm.
By the time Josie texted that she was out front, the fuming had turned into, well, something else. I could be more understanding. The thing with Grant was awkward, but if he’d seen how my parents forced me to invite him, he’d understand it isn’t want I want. Who I want.
“Mai?”
I blink and turn to Josie, who is staring at me in a way that means she said something I missed.
“Sorry.”
“Are you okay?”
“Just thinking.” We’re still standing in Jason’s entryway. I’ve been so focused on Anthony, I’ve hardly noticed anyone or anything else. I spare a glance around. Girls I don’t know. Jason pouring from a blender. Three guys dancing on the couch. I honestly don’t care. My gaze flits back to Anthony. If there’s regret, he’s hiding it well. All I see are the questions in his eyes.
What are you doing here? What do you want?
I want to lie, but my eyes are already answering back. You. My eyes are terrible liars.
Abruptly, he turns around and heads toward the back door. I feel like I’ve been kicked in the shins. By a horse.
“Mai?” Josie again, her voice lower.
He’s walking away? Did he see my lipstick?
“Is something going on with Anthony?” she asks. “I thought that was over a long time ago.”
“It is. It was.” He stops to talk with the girls I don’t recognize. There’s one with auburn hair who is dangerously close to crossing into his personal space. Anthony sips from his cup, smiling.
Is that a drink-drink?
Is that a smile-smile?
I draw in a hot breath. “It is so far in the past, it’s like eons ago. Like the Hadean period.”
Josie rolls her eyes. “I don’t know what that is.”
“Before there were fossil records of life on Earth.” He’s moving past them now, heading out the back door.
How to Quit Your Crush Page 14