Fitting In

by Amanda Radley

  She squeezed Scarlett’s hand, encouraging her to speak.

  Scarlett slowly looked up and made eye contact with her father.

  “I don’t think I feel things in the same way other people do,” she confessed. “But I miss Ronan. He was my brother and I loved him. But he’s gone and talking about him won’t bring him back.”

  “I know that,” Leo defended himself.

  “But you spent a lot of time trying to make me talk about him when I was a teenager,” Scarlett explained. “And then became angry when I couldn’t.”

  “I wanted to make sure you remembered him,” Leo said. “And… I suppose I wanted to prove to myself that you did feel something about his loss. Scarlett, you were the only kid I ever heard of to go through their teenage years without a single tantrum, crying fest, crush, anything. You were just… emotionless.”

  Heather held up her free hand. “There’s a difference between being emotionless and showing those emotions in a different way to what you’re used to.”

  Leo nodded. “Yes, I realise that now. But at the time, I just… I felt so angry. And then every time we spoke… I didn’t know if I was getting through.”

  “I didn’t say much because when I did speak, it seemed to make you angry,” Scarlett confessed.

  Leo opened his mouth and then slammed it shut again. He picked up the stout and took a couple of sips.

  “I’m sorry, Scarlett,” he finally said. “I know that your childhood wasn’t exactly a happy one. I wasn’t there, and when I was… I wasn’t a very good father.”

  “You were a good father,” Scarlett disputed. “You kept me safe, sheltered, fed. I never wanted for anything.”

  Heather couldn’t help but place a soft kiss on Scarlett’s cheek. Almost anyone else would have agreed immediately that they had endured a hard childhood and that Leo had been absent or emotionally unavailable.

  But Scarlett didn’t hold a grudge; in fact, she honestly seemed to believe that Leo had been a good father to her. Even when the evidence Heather had gathered indicated otherwise.

  Leo stood up and sat on the bench beside Scarlett and swept her into a bear hug. Scarlett seemed slow to react, probably shocked by the action. Heather wondered how long it had been since they had hugged.

  “I love you so very much,” Leo said firmly. “I’m sorry that I’ve been a terrible father.”

  “I’m sorry that I’ve been a terrible daughter,” Scarlett replied.

  Heather rolled her eyes. “No one has been a terrible anything,” she told the ridiculous pair. “You both need to learn to communicate and understand that you are very different personalities.”

  Father and daughter slowly pulled apart, but Leo kept his arm around Scarlett’s shoulder. “I’m going to do my best,” he promised.

  Scarlett’s phone beeped from its location on the table. She picked it up and glanced at the screen. “Tara wishes to see me; I have to go.”

  Scarlett stood up and started to walk away. A moment later she turned and came back to the table.

  “I’m glad we spoke. And I hope we will again very soon,” she said to her father. She turned to Heather. “I’ll miss you; I will call you later.”

  Before either could reply, she turned and left again. Heather couldn’t help but chuckle. It was progress, but Scarlett’s goodbyes still needed a little work.

  “She’s always done that,” Leo said, reaching for his stout. “Just upped and left. It’s not often that you even get a goodbye.”

  “I spoke to her about it last night,” Heather confessed. “I said it might be considered rude by some if she just leaves without a word like that.”

  Leo regarded Heather with a crooked grin. “You’ve really managed to get through to her, haven’t you?”

  “Maybe a little, but the key has been to adapt my behaviour rather than to think she should adapt hers,” Heather explained.

  “I’d like to learn that,” Leo said.

  “The first thing I learnt was that, if you want Scarlett to speak to you in more than one or two words at a time, you have to ask her a proper question,” Heather said.

  “I think sometimes I didn’t like her answers,” Leo admitted.

  “She’s different to you and me,” Heather said again. “And you have to take that into consideration. But she’s smart, dedicated, and she does care a lot about things. Once you really start to look.”

  Leo smiled and took another sip of stout. “Maybe you two can come over for dinner one night soon? I’ll even promise to not talk about work. Much.”

  Heather felt a blush on her cheeks. She realised that Leo had very astutely noticed that she was falling for Scarlett and that their relationship was fast moving to a personal one.

  “I’d like that,” she said. “I’ll ask Scarlett how she feels about it.”

  “Good.” Leo’s phone rang and he rolled his eyes. “Well, had to happen eventually.”

  “I suppose it did,” Heather agreed. “I’d best get back to the office anyway.”

  “Good job today,” Leo said as Heather started to get up. “You dealt with that incident like it was any other day. Not that I ever had any doubts, but it was good to see that my centre is in safe hands.”

  Heather smiled and nodded her thanks. She wouldn’t mention that she had been terrified and shaking like a leaf throughout the experience. That could be her little secret.

  50

  You Were Right

  Scarlett entered Silver Arches and started to make her way up the stairs towards the offices. She could see Ravi ahead; she hurried a little to catch up to him.

  When he noticed her, he slowed down and looked at her with a wide smile.

  “Hey, Scarlett, you doing okay?” he asked.

  “Yes. I wanted to talk to you,” she said. “I wanted to tell you that you were right, and I was wrong.”

  Ravi frowned. “You’ve lost me.”

  Scarlett wasn’t surprised by that. She often lost people when she started a conversation.

  “You once said that if something doesn’t work out then it’s because something better is around the corner,” Scarlett reminded him. “At the time, I disagreed with you. On reflection, I think you were right.”

  Ravi paused on the stairs and grinned. “Oh really?”

  “Yes.”

  Ravi regarded her with a look she couldn’t quite place. He looked happy, but then the deputy centre director always appeared to be happy.

  He put an arm around Scarlett’s shoulder, and they continued to climb the stairs.

  “I’m really glad you’re at Silver Arches, Scarlett,” he said, giving her a small squeeze.

  “I’m glad to be here too,” she confessed.

  He removed his arm from her shoulder when they got to the top of the stairs. They each opened one half of the double doors leading into the management suite and stepped inside.

  “You’re becoming quite the local hero,” he told her.

  Scarlett actually snorted a laugh at that comment.

  “Unlikely,” she said.

  “It’s true,” Ravi told her.

  “I’m not a hero. I was doing my job,” Scarlett said.

  “It doesn’t matter what you think; it matters what they think,” Ravi said. He subtly gestured around the corridor.

  Staff members were looking at her, and many were smiling at her. Scarlett couldn’t remember the last time these people had actually made eye contact with her. She wasn’t unaware that she had made a number of enemies since she started at Silver Arches. It wasn’t her intention, but it had been the unintended result of her actions.

  It happened nearly everywhere she went. She somehow made enemies, and before long she had no idea how to turn the tide.

  Whenever she started in a new department, she never had any aim of trying to make friends because it always seemed like an impossible mountain to climb.

  Now she wondered if maybe she could.

  She offered a tentative smile back to people as th
ey passed.

  Maybe Silver Arches could be a family to her, as Heather so often described it.

  51

  Four Minutes Late

  Heather waited at Ore station with her hands in her jeans pockets. Scarlett’s train was running four minutes late, and each minute seemed like an injustice, carving into the amount of time they would be spending together that day.

  Of course, she couldn’t really complain. They had been dating for three weeks and seen each other quite frequently. In fact, it felt like they had been together for far longer.

  Something had clicked between them, and their relationship felt comfortable while also remaining new and exciting.

  At her father’s request, Heather had agreed to spend the weekend with her parents in Hastings, and Scarlett’s adorable pout had prompted her to issue an invitation. To her delight, Scarlett jumped at the chance to spend more time with her and to meet her parents for a second time.

  Her father had already enjoyed plenty of jokes at Heather’s expense now that she finally admitted that not only was she interested in Scarlett, but that they were happily dating.

  Sue had nudged him in the ribs and looked at Heather fondly, stating that she was very happy that Heather had found someone.

  Heather had to admit that she was very happy too. Happier than she could remember ever being before.

  The train pulled into the station. Heather tried to play it cool and look calm, but she knew in her heart that she looked how she felt: eager.

  It had been two days since she’d laid eyes on Scarlett. They’d exchanged text messages, but it wasn’t enough.

  The train doors opened, and a handful of people disembarked, including Scarlett.

  Heather stepped forward and raised her arm so Scarlett would see her.

  “My train was delayed,” Scarlett greeted her.

  “I know.”

  “Four minutes. A signalling fault,” Scarlett continued.

  Heather grinned. “I know. Can I have a kiss hello?”

  Scarlett’s expression changed in a flash from annoyed to delighted. She ducked her head and pressed her lips to Heather’s. Heather let out a pleased sigh.

  “I’ve been waiting forever for that.”

  “I was only four minutes late,” Scarlett pointed out.

  “I’ve not seen you for two days,” Heather grouched.

  “Do you miss me that much?” Scarlett asked, sounding slightly perplexed.

  “I do. Very much,” Heather confirmed. “Do you miss me?”

  Scarlett considered the question for a moment. “Now and then.”

  Heather burst out laughing. She’d walked right into that one. She took Scarlett’s hand and led her towards her father’s Jeep.

  “When I allow myself to think about it,” Scarlett added. “Then I miss you. So, I try to not think about it. I’d always rather be with you than without you. That much is obvious to me now.”

  Heather stopped dead and stared open-mouthed at Scarlett.

  “Have I said something wrong?” Scarlett asked.

  “No.” Heather swallowed. “No, I think you just said the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.”

  Scarlett beamed.

  Heather kissed Scarlett’s cheek, wanting to do more but already knowing her father would accuse them of lying about the delayed train and having spent the time making out in the car instead.

  “I love you,” Heather said. It had taken her less than a week to say the three small though significant words to Scarlett. It was faster than she ever had said them before, but the words also held more meaning than they had ever held before.

  Scarlett had said them back immediately with the widest smile Heather had ever seen on her face.

  Heather didn’t know how she had managed it, but at some point, she had not only managed to crack the mysterious code that was Scarlett Flynn. She’d also found the woman of her dreams.

  Epilogue

  “I’ll miss this little cube,” Nico said, patting the side of her pop-up shop wistfully.

  Ravi lifted a heavy box of books onto an existing stack of boxes on a heavy-duty trolley.

  “The centre won’t be the same without you,” he admitted.

  “I know. They have big shoes to fill,” Nico agreed. “This place was incredibly dull without me; I can sense that.”

  Ravi chuckled to himself. “It was. I mean, I had no idea that Hot Dog Boy was living a lie. Serving hot dogs all day every day and actually being allergic to them.”

  Nico nodded sagely. “And every time someone asks him for a personal recommendation from the menu, he has to lie. Pretending he has tried them all, when one bite would land him in hospital.”

  “I didn’t even know people could be allergic to hot dogs,” Ravi admitted.

  He lifted another heavy box, wondering why he always did Nico’s heavy lifting while she just fiddled with stickers or fondly patted the side of her temporary store.

  “Ah, there you are!”

  Ravi saw Leo Flynn coming over and stopped what he was doing, expecting that the man was coming to speak to him. He was surprised when Leo passed him and approached Nico.

  “Hey, Mister Flynn,” Nico greeted.

  “I read that proposal you sent over to my office, and I like it. I like it a lot,” Leo told her.

  Ravi’s eyebrows lifted.

  “I thought you might.” Nico got her business card from her back pocket and handed it to Leo. It was rainbow-coloured and had a glitter heart on the back. Ravi knew because he was still finding glitter everywhere from the one Nico had given him four months ago.

  “Get in touch and we can arrange a meeting,” Nico told him.

  Leo took the card and nodded. “I’ll definitely do that.” He turned and glanced at Ravi. “Good night, Ravi. See you tomorrow.”

  “Night, Leo,” Ravi said, looking at the retreating figure in confusion. He looked back at Nico. “What was that about?”

  “I did a little research, and Intrex are seriously lacking in some rainbow credentials. I put a proposal together, pointing that fact out and explaining my business plan to bring my LGBTQ books to the masses.” Nico shrugged casually. “Man knows a good business proposal when he sees one.”

  Ravi folded his arms and regarded his friend with a grin. “So that’s why you’ve been researching him.”

  “Of course. You think I’m going to let an opportunity like this go to waste?” Nico asked him.

  “You’re smarter than I am, Nico,” Ravi admitted.

  “Yeah, I am,” Nico said with a playful wink. She turned. “Aww, look at that.”

  Ravi looked up and smiled at the sight of Scarlett and Heather walking hand in hand through the centre.

  “How long’s it been now?” Nico asked.

  “Five weeks, I think,” Ravi said. “Heather’s head over heels.”

  Of course he was still teasing Heather mercilessly about it. That was the kind of brother/sister relationship they had. In truth, he couldn’t be happier for her. It had been a long while since Heather had been with someone, and he’d never seen her as happy as she was now.

  Somehow, Scarlett was the perfect fit for her. Ravi never would have believed it if he hadn’t seen it for himself.

  The pair approached, and Heather pouted at Nico.

  “It’s going to be so odd without you here,” Heather said.

  “I know, I was just saying to Ravi how boring it must have been without me,” Nico said.

  Heather laughed. “It was. I don’t know how we managed.”

  Nico got her phone out of her pocket. “Right, group photo. Come on, gather round, everyone.”

  Nico’s arms were too short to get them all in the shot, so Ravi took the phone and the four of them stood in front of the Gay Days pop-up and posed for a photo.

  After the shot was taken, Nico checked it and looked up at Scarlett.

  “Hey, you’re smiling,” Nico told her.

  Scarlett grinned and replied, “Of course I am. I�
��m happy.”

  Patreon

  I adore publishing. There’s a wonderful thrill that comes from crafting a manuscript and then releasing it to the world. Especially when you are writing woman loving woman characters. I’m blessed to receive messages from readers all over the world who are thrilled to discover characters and scenarios that resemble their lives.

  Books are entertaining escapism, but they are also reinforcement that we are not alone in our struggles. I’m passionate about writing books that people can identify with. Books that are accessible to all and show that love—and acceptance—can be found no matter who you are.

  I’m at the beginning of my writing career and have already published over ten books, have attained best-seller status around the world, and am a Lambda award winner. I have plans to write many, many more novels. However, writing, editing, and marketing books take up a lot of time… and writing full-time is a treadmill-like existence, especially in a very small niche market like mine.

  Don’t get me wrong, I feel very grateful and lucky to be able to live the life I do. But being a full-time author in a small market means never being able to stop and work on developing my writing style, it means rarely having the time or budget to properly market my books, it means immediately picking up the next project the moment the previous has finished.

  This is why I have set up a Patreon account. With Patreon, you can donate a small amount each month to enable me to hop off of my treadmill for a while in order to reach my goals. Goals such as exploring better marketing options, developing my writing craft, and investigating writing articles and screenplays.

  My Patreon page is a place for exclusive first looks at new works, insight into upcoming projects, monthly Q&A sessions, as well as special gifts and dedications. I’m also pleased to give all of my Patreon subscribers free ebooks and access to exclusive short stories which have been written just for patrons. There are tiers to suit all budgets.