Only in Dreams (Road Trip Romance Book 9)

by A. K. Evans

  I did try to look on the bright side of this situation, though. As much as I would have loved a couple extra hours with Sam tonight, my needing to go into work now did have its perks.

  We were going to have another date.

  That was enough to make me smile. And hearing her admit just now that she was feeling inspired to get creative again after our day together today was the icing on the cake.

  “I’ll expect you to send me some shots of whatever you come up with,” I declared.

  “Really?” she asked.

  “Absolutely.”

  I took a glimpse in her direction. Sam was beaming a gorgeous smile at me.

  Yeah. No doubt about it. This was the icing on the cake and even the cherry on top.

  I wanted my girl back to being herself, and I had a feeling Sam was well on her way.

  Fourteen

  Samantha

  Two weeks later

  I could hardly contain my excitement.

  It was finally the long-awaited pizza night date with Cal. Of course, Cal hadn’t explicitly indicated that it was a date, but I was finding it difficult to refer to it as anything else. Though, I guess it might have been wishful thinking.

  Maybe that was foolish of me. Perhaps it was seriously premature given the fact that I’d gotten out of a relationship only a month ago. But if I was being honest with myself, a lot had happened since that breakup that had really forced me to look at the relationship I had with Mitch and see it for precisely what it was.

  It wasn’t all bad and had been good in the beginning. But as time wore on, things between us started to fall apart in a way that I was blind to while I was deep in it with him. Looking back, I saw the things now I should have seen then, and it frustrated me. It was like I’d told Cal that day I shared the news with him about the breakup. I should have ended it a long time ago.

  But it was what it was.

  I was here now, and I was feeling good. The best I had in months.

  And it was all thanks to one man. Well, one man and my own determination to get back to my former self.

  I’d learned a lot about myself over the last couple of weeks. One thing I realized was that I didn’t like how I’d so easily lost myself. I was constantly trying to find ways to improve the relationship and be all that Mitch wanted me to be instead of being who I was and believing that I was worthy of being loved just like that. So, I’d done a lot of work on my own to heal my heart and my mind.

  Cal was just icing on the cake. He was the best of everything, and he was a man who constantly encouraged me to be myself. I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve someone so incredible in my life, but I wasn’t going to question it. I was simply going to be grateful that I had him. And even though it wasn’t in the way I had always wanted, the last few weeks had taught me just how important he was to me. I’d rather have him like I did now than not at all.

  Ever since we had brunch together along with our impromptu trip to Mount Washington, life had been fantastic. Obviously, I still had to go to work, but even those days weren’t so bad because I knew at the end of them I’d be able to go back home and dive into my passion. More than that, I had something else to look forward to as well.

  Cal.

  We had spoken to each other every day since that day. Cal reached out to me regularly. He typically called me on the phone in the evenings when he knew I was home from work. I often texted him in the mornings or afternoons when I was at work.

  Our conversations were frequently about my latest T-shirt design ideas or whatever exciting things were happening for each of us at work. We still continued to have our random discussions as well. In fact, a week ago, we had texted back and forth with each other through the course of an entire morning—in between working and other responsibilities—about whether or not a hot dog could be considered a sandwich. Then, just a few days ago, we had so much fun trying to come up with a list of the best Wi-Fi names we’d ever seen or would like to see.

  I laughed a lot, and I was confident Cal did, too.

  So, things were fantastic. I was tempted to say that our friendship was the best it had ever been. After not having Cal like this for so many months, I decided I was going to do whatever I had to do to protect, nurture, and honor our friendship. I refused to live without it ever again.

  I’d just had all these thoughts run through my mind when my doorbell rang.

  Cal was here.

  I raced to the door, put my hand on the knob, and took a deep breath. The last thing I wanted to do was look too eager. Because even though I’d accepted the fact that Cal and I would only ever be friends, it still didn’t change my feelings for him. Truth be told, I couldn’t deny that my feelings for him had only gotten stronger.

  But I was going to repress them for the sake of keeping him in my life.

  On that thought, I put on a smile and opened the door.

  Cal was grinning back at me. A moment later, I caught movement, and my eyes fell from his face to the space directly in front of his chest. He was holding a pizza box.

  “As promised, I come bearing gifts,” he declared.

  I giggled and stepped back to allow him to come inside. “Hey, Cal.” Once he moved forward and out of the doorway, I closed the door and shared, “I’m starving.”

  “Let’s eat.”

  “I already have the plates, napkins, drinks, and pizza cutter all set out in the living room,” I told him.

  With that, the two of us made our way to the living room. A few minutes later, we were both on the couch, the television was on, and we each had a slice of pepperoni pizza on our plates.

  Cal was a couple bites in when he declared, “Yes, pineapple doesn’t belong anywhere near a pizza.”

  “Look, I get the distinct feeling you believe I enjoy it,” I started. “That’s not the case. I merely stated that I wouldn’t throw it out or walk away if there was nothing else to eat.”

  With his slice held up in his hand just in front of his mouth, he rolled his head in my direction and cocked an eyebrow. “But you’re willing to eat it,” he noted. “That is the problem.”

  “It’s pizza,” I countered. “You don’t ever walk away from pizza.”

  “If it has pineapple on it, you do,” he insisted.

  I rolled my eyes and laughed while Cal took a massive bite of the pepperoni and cheese goodness.

  “How was work today?” he asked after reaching out for his second slice.

  It was so casual, so comfortable. I loved it.

  “Great!”

  Confusion washed over Cal’s face. “Great?” he asked.

  I nodded.

  There was more confusion before he pressed, “Did I miss something?”

  I shook my head. “Nope.”

  “What’s going on with you?” he wondered.

  I shrugged. “Nothing,” I insisted. “I’m just… I don’t know. I guess I’m trying to look on the bright side of everything. So, work was typical today. But we had no major drama, and I knew I was going to have this with you when I got home tonight, so it made the bad of work seem a little less daunting.”

  Cal’s eyes searched my face for a moment before he smiled at me and relaxed his back against the couch cushion.

  “How was your day?” I asked.

  “Good,” he answered. “Like you, I was very much looking forward to having this with you tonight.”

  I didn’t know if he was saying that just to make me feel good or if he actually meant it. Either way, I didn’t care. Deep down, I honestly didn’t believe that Cal would ever lie to me, so I gave myself permission to soak up the happiness I felt, knowing that he wanted to spend this time with me at least as much as I wanted to spend it with him.

  For the next hour or so, Cal and I ate pizza and watched television. Somewhere in the middle of it, I ran to the kitchen to grab a surprise. I’d picked up a batch of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies from the grocery store’s bakery on my way home from work.

  “Cookies
?”

  “Freshly baked and bought from a store,” I shared.

  Cal laughed. “You mean you didn’t bake them for me yourself?” he asked.

  “I’m not sure you would have enjoyed them if I did,” I replied, holding the plate out to him so he could grab a few. “I can make some meals, and those are questionable at best. But if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that I don’t bake at all.”

  “I never would have thought,” he returned.

  I took a cookie off the plate for myself and set the rest down on top of the pizza box. Then I said, “I know it’s hard to believe that there’s something in this world that I’m just not good at, but I don’t think it’s fair that I hide the truth. I’m not so good in the kitchen.”

  “Hm,” Cal grunted. I didn’t know what that meant, but I could see something working behind his eyes. What it was, I couldn’t be sure, and Cal never shared.

  What he did do was pick up a couple more cookies and settle in to watch television with me. Or, at least, that’s what he believed he was doing. Technically, I guess that was accurate, but I spent a good portion of that time watching him.

  Watching and feeling.

  Feeling gratitude and love.

  I tried hard to focus on what we were watching, but I couldn’t. My eyes kept being pulled to him. And since he wasn’t hard to look at, I didn’t fight it.

  Then, it happened.

  What started off as something completely innocent changed everything.

  Cal glanced over at me, saw me looking at him, and grew curious. Wearing an expression that told me he was amused and confused, he asked, “Is everything okay?”

  Not thinking twice about what I was saying, I immediately answered, “Yeah. I was just thinking that I haven’t thanked you.”

  Brushing it off, assuming incorrectly about what I was referring to, Cal insisted, “It was just pizza, Sam. It’s not a big deal. Besides, you bought cookies.”

  I should have left it at that. But something came over me. It was as though I no longer had any restraint and couldn’t hold myself back.

  “I wasn’t talking about the pizza, Cal,” I told him.

  “You weren’t?” he returned.

  I shook my head.

  “So, what’s going on then?” he questioned me.

  After searching his handsome face, I answered, “Thank you for making it so easy for me to find my way back to myself and my dreams. I’m sure I would have eventually found my way on my own, but I’m glad I’ve had you here with me for the last month.”

  Cal’s features softened. He reached over, placed his hand on my thigh, and squeezed gently. “I’d do anything for you, Sam,” he shared. “And I told you if you ever needed anything, I’d always be here for you.”

  It was a wonder I could focus on anything he was saying since all of my attention was on the fact that his hand was on my thigh. Tingles shot through my body as I tried to keep my breathing under control and remind myself that Cal was just a great friend—the best that existed—and his touch meant nothing more than friendly comfort coming from him.

  But I wanted it to. Desperately.

  I was distracted for far too long, so Cal went on, “I’ve really enjoyed being able to connect with you like this again.”

  I closed my eyes. He’d missed this. Cal missed having the close friendship that we did. I’d stupidly allowed it to change.

  “I’m sorry,” I lamented.

  “Why?”

  I sighed. “Because I’m the reason we lost this to begin with,” I started. “I had Mitch, pulled away, and gave up things that were important to me, not the least of which was you.”

  Offering me a sympathetic look, Cal assured me, “It’s okay.”

  “It’s not,” I argued. “I never should have tolerated it getting to this point. And you? No matter that I wasn’t the friend you’ve always known, you still stuck by my side whenever I needed you.”

  “Sam, you have to stop blaming yourself for all of this,” he urged.

  Shaking my head, I said, “I can’t. Sometimes, I feel so much regret. Part of it has to do with me getting involved with Mitch at all, but it mostly has to do with the fact that I changed who I was and gave up on my dreams for him.”

  “It’s my fault,” Cal declared.

  My brows pulled together as my head jerked back. “What? What are you talking about?” I questioned him. “I mean, I appreciate your willingness to accept some of the blame here, but I think we both know that I’m the one who brought us to the place we were just a couple months ago.”

  “I could have told you the truth,” he said.

  My body froze.

  The truth? What had he lied about?

  Feeling nervous, I quietly stammered, “Th… the truth?”

  Cal held my gaze briefly before he looked away, picked up the remote, and turned off the television. I grew more and more tense, feeling confident that without the background noise of the television, he could hear my heart pounding in my chest.

  I couldn’t do it.

  I couldn’t begin to think about hearing bad news.

  What had Cal been hiding from me?

  A hollow feeling settled in the pit of my stomach; I was sure I was going to be sick.

  Then Cal turned fully toward me on the couch and reached out for my hands. Taking both of them in his, he shared, “I fell in love with you the first day you walked into my bar.”

  I gasped.

  Cal continued, “At first, I thought it was me seeing a beautiful woman with a gorgeous personality that had me feeling like that. But the feeling never faded. And for months, I struggled to hold back those feelings, waiting for the perfect moment to tell you what you meant to me. I never got the chance.”

  I swallowed hard, and my lips parted.

  Cal fell in love with me?

  Cal fell in love with me.

  I was too stunned to speak, too shocked.

  Cal’s voice filled the silence. “I know your breakup is still relatively recent, and I understand you need time to heal from that. But I need you to know how I feel, Sam. I won’t rush you. We can take our time. And I’m sorry if this is too much too soon. I can’t keep this to myself any longer. I won’t risk losing you again.”

  My heart.

  Oh, my heart.

  All this time, Cal loved me. While I was convinced he loved me as nothing more than his best friend, Cal was in love with me.

  He wanted to wait? He wanted time?

  I couldn’t do that. I’d wanted this for so long, for just as long as he did.

  Understanding how difficult it must have been for him all these months, I decided it was up to me to make sure we didn’t waste any more time. So, I freed my hands from his grasp, brought them up to frame his face, and rasped, “I wish you would have told me sooner.”

  Surprise washed over him, and I gave it only a second for that look to penetrate before I crushed my mouth to his.

  The moment my lips touched his, I knew.

  It was him.

  It had been him from the moment he shook my hand the first day I met him.

  And when he got over the shock of me kissing him and kissed me back, his arms wrapping around my body and pulling me close to him, I said a silent prayer of thanks that I didn’t turn around and walk out of Granite two years ago.

  It would have been the biggest mistake of my life.

  Fifteen

  Calvin

  Disbelief.

  Complete, total disbelief.

  I would have given anything to know that what was happening at this precise moment was real. There was not a doubt in my mind that I was going to wake up at any moment and realize that none of what I was experiencing was real.

  But it felt real.

  Damn, did it feel real.

  And so fucking good, too.

  When I heard a moan tear up Sam’s throat, I started having second thoughts. Maybe I was wrong. Perhaps this wasn’t a dream. Maybe, just maybe, I was fina
lly going to have this, to have her, after all this time.

  No sooner had my arms wrapped around her and pulled her close when Sam swung a leg over to straddle my lap. One roll of her hips, and I knew. This was no fantasy.

  It was happening, and it was everything.

  Sam, my Sam, had not only initiated all of this by kissing me first, but she was now on top of me, writhing and moaning.

  She felt good, she smelled fantastic, and she sounded amazing.

  Sam was still kissing me, my tongue was in her mouth, and she was grinding herself down on my lap. My cock felt ready to explode.

  For a brief moment, Sam pulled back and breathed, “Cal.”

  Fuck.

  It was needy, desperate, and filled with lust. Without even trying, Sam was sexiness and seduction all wrapped into one.

  I didn’t think it was possible to be more turned on than I already was, and yet, hearing her say my name like that was more than I could have ever asked for in my life.

  And after waiting for so long to have anything even remotely close to something like this with Sam, I felt a bit out of control. I couldn’t get enough of her. Anything I could have, I wanted to take.

  My hands roamed everywhere over her body as we started kissing again. Part of me felt frantic to touch each part, each curve I could get my fingertips on while the other part of me wanted to savor it, terrified I might not ever have it again.

  Even with both of us fully clothed, it was magnificent, better than I could have ever imagined.

  When my palms dropped to her legs just above her knees, Sam tore her mouth from mine. She stared down at me with such intensity as my hands traveled up her thighs. They moved over her hips and back to her ass.

  That’s when I smiled at her and shared, “For years, I’ve wanted my hands on your ass. I’m not sure I’m ever going to let it go.”

  “You have to,” she returned softly.

  “Why?”

  A seductive look washed over her before she answered, “Because how will you undress me otherwise?”