Absentee Wolf

  “No, like I told you before but you’re apparently deaf or you just don’t listen. I left so you could grow up without me inadvertently influencing you. I saw others go through this, and I didn’t want that for you.”

  “What others?”

  “I don’t know. Just another couple. It’s not important. He was older, and all she did was moon over him. She didn’t focus on school because she was going to marry him. She had no life of her own. It was all about her mate and rushing to grow up to marry him. It’s just not healthy to be that wrapped up in one person.”

  “But it was okay for you.”

  Toby snapped his head back at Kent’s judgmental tone. “What do you mean by that?”

  “Well you basically ended your life when you realized I was your mate. You lost your friends and pack and moved across the country. You said you moved for me, but I think it was because you were scared. Your way was convenient. And it gave you complete control.” Kent’s eyes widened, and he shook his finger at Toby. “I nailed it. You had to control it all. Well, news flash, pal. You can’t control me. I’m a free agent. Now, get out.”

  “Free agent?”

  Kent nodded but said nothing further.

  “You may be a free agent, but remember that means I can bid for your contract, too!”

  “You passed up the contract when you left.”

  Toby sighed and his shoulders sagged. “Kent, you were fourteen. I was thirty-nine. I was fucking terrified. Your dad is my best friend in the whole world. I loved you like you were my own son, and then one day everything changed. Your scent and my Goddamned pheromones!”

  Toby struck his chest and paced away from Kent. Toby looked back at him, and he was sitting behind his desk like he owned the world, as if this wasn’t hard for Toby.

  “I didn’t know how to act around you, all right? I wouldn’t have tried anything, but it was just weird.”

  “Like it’s weird now, since I’m still that same kid.”

  “No.” Toby returned to his seat and spun Kent toward him. “You aren’t that kid anymore. You’re a grown man. And I chickened out and ran away. I took the easy way, and I’m so sorry. I should have been there for you in person all those years. I made the excuse that my leaving was so you could grow up and have your first kiss or your first crush like a regular kid and not have me leaning over your shoulder. But I was afraid I’d lose my best friend and that I wouldn’t know how to act around you. I’m sorry.”

  The quiet stretched on. Kent wasn’t saying anything. He didn’t tell Toby to leave again, so Toby decided to wait it out and see if anything happened. He tipped his head down, only glancing at Kent from the side.

  “I had my first crush. Actually, it became almost an obsession. Nothing ever came of it though. Even kept a photo of the guy under my pillow.”

  An easy smile slipped onto Kent’s lips with that last admission, and Toby’s heart raced. It had been literally over eight years since he had seen that smile in real life. In the past that smile was a pure joy that radiated from Kent, but now it caused heart-thumping adrenaline to rush through Toby’s body.

  “Why didn’t you do anything other than moon over him?”

  The smile was gone, and Kent’s face became stoic as he peered into Toby’s eyes. “Because he was too old for me.”

  Realization punched the wind from Toby’s lungs, and he sat back in his chair.

  “I got so obsessed with him that no one ever measured up to him. Guys at school weren’t serious enough. They played too many games and weren’t driven enough. Gah!”

  Kent’s head fell backward over the chair, and his arms hung limply into his lap. When Kent didn’t speak, Toby placed his hand on Kent’s knee and quietly said his name. Kent looked back at him, with tears brimming in his eyes.

  “You were my first kiss.”

  “Oh, Kent, I’m sorry.”

  “You tried so hard to let me grow up and keep yourself from me, but I’m your mate. You were supposed to be in my life, and you left me. I know you say it was for good intentions, and my dad probably agrees with you, but no one got me like you did. I missed you. I didn’t even know that you were my mate, and I still missed you and dreamed about you and love you.”

  Toby noticed right away that Kent didn’t say loved, as in the past. He said love, as in Kent still loved Toby now. Toby closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Kent’s, begging that his mate kiss him back this time. Kent didn’t disappoint. Toby started slow, his mouth closed and merely brushing over Kent’s, but when he heard the inhale of shock from Kent, Toby pulled Kent out of the chair and stood. He grabbed his mate tightly to him and kissed him soundly. The moment of shock allowed him to press his tongue forward and sweep inside. The first taste of Kent washed over him, and Toby growled into his mate’s mouth.

  Toby spun so he could sit on the desk top. He slid backward and pulled Kent to straddle him. Sliding his hands into Kent’s curls, he pulled his head back and kissed along his neck. Toby’s canine teeth descended, and he scraped them along the tender flesh.

  Kent whimpered and clutched Toby’s shoulders. As badly as Toby wanted to claim his mate, he wasn’t going to do so on the desk, but he had no qualms about other activities. He kissed along Kent’s corded neck. Releasing Kent’s hair, he brought both hands down to open his belt and slacks. Reaching into Kent’s boxers, he got his first feel of the thick cock.

  Toby pressed one hand into the small of Kent’s back to steady him. With slow strokes, he slid up and down Kent’s hot flesh. “Let me jack you off.”

  Kent’s eyes were wide, and his canine teeth peeked over his lip. He nodded mutely, his nails digging into Toby’s shoulders. Toby knew it wouldn’t take much to bring his mate to release. Both of them were hard and leaking. Toby had years of repressed sexual frustration, and Kent had just admitted he had no experience. This might be the fastest hand job in history.

  Watching his mate find his release was all Toby was interested in. He stroked the heavy shaft, each tug trying to pull Kent closer. Pre-cum ran down the length and slicked the way for Toby’s fingers. His thumb slid over the head and across the slit pulling more droplets with it.

  Toby increased his efforts when Kent whined then began panting. He pressed his forehead to Toby’s.

  “So close.”

  “Come for me then, my mate.”

  Kent nodded as Toby continued to please him, never releasing him from this intimate embrace. Toby watched as Kent bit his lip and pressed his head firmly against him. Cum filled Toby’s fist and covered his wrist as his mate gave up his seed.

  Still gently stroking him, Toby shushed him and held him while Kent trembled then finally went slack in his arms. Toby wanted to please Kent every day in every way imaginable. This was the first of many times to come.

  Toby made sure Kent was watching as he licked the cum from his hand. The strong, salty taste of his mate made him harder still. Each lap made him want to reach inside of Kent’s clothes and stroke him to completion again, if only so he could taste him once more.

  When done cleaning his hand, Toby kissed his mate, allowing Kent to taste himself in Toby’s mouth. Kent held Toby’s head while he leaned forward to kiss him. The kiss was unpracticed and primitive showing his inexperience. Toby let Kent continue while he put Kent’s clothes to rights.

  Finally stopping the kiss, Kent climbed down from the desk. A blush crept up his neck and face. He had no reason to be embarrassed when it came to his mate. Kent scrubbed his hand over the back of his neck. “That was intense.”

  “Kent, I will spend every day making the last eight years up to you.”

  “You can’t. Those years are gone.”

  And just like that so was the moment.

  “You can’t mean that.” Toby placed his hand on Kent’s shoulder and Kent dropped out from under his touch before taking a step back. Toby made to reach for him again when Kent held his hands up to stop him.

  “That”—Kent paused and pointed bac
k to the desk—“should never have happened. We have to work together, and stuff like that only complicates it. I know you think you were doing what was best for us, for me, when you left, but I don’t. I didn’t have any say in your decision.”

  “I can understand that you’re still angry.”

  “You think,” Kent interrupted.

  “Please, hear me out, all right?” Kent jerked his head once, so Toby continued. “This is all new to you, and you’re still trying to wrap your head around it. You just need time.” Kent huffed, and suddenly Toby wasn’t as sure that he had figured out his mate’s problem.

  “No, that’s not it. I don’t want to be with you. What just happened was only me giving into a physical compulsion. It was hormones and nothing more.”

  “Kent!” Toby recoiled like Kent had struck him. The pain from his mate’s comment made his chest tighten and ache, his stomach knotted. He tried to school his features but feared he failed.

  “I’m sorry you’re hurt, but the truth of the matter is, that didn’t mean anything. It was just you scratching my itch. Now, do you want to work on the press release or just sign off on it when I’m done?”

  “What happened to you?”

  Kent flipped open his netbook and started typing. “I don’t understand. What do you mean what happened to me?”

  “I don’t remember you being such a coldhearted bastard.”

  Kent shrugged. “Eh. You probably missed a lot of my personality forming over the years.” Kent stopped typing and turned toward Toby. “Maybe I’m this way because something was missing from my life while I was growing up.”

  Kent might as well have had a knife in his hand while he spoke to Toby. Every decision Toby made concerning Kent was being decimated. Kent was showing how truly hurt and bitter he was over Toby’s departure. Toby began to worry that nothing he did would make his mate want to be with him anymore.

  “Kent, is there anything left that I can do to make this better between us?”

  Kent hesitated, and Toby had a glimmer of hope that there was something that could right the wrong between them until Kent spoke. “You could forget that I’m your mate.”

  Chapter 5

  Kent knew he was being cruel, but he didn’t care. Tobias had run once before, and if Kent pushed enough, he was sure he could make Tobias run again. It was only a matter of time. Kent had wanted a mate for as long as he could remember, but when he found out his mate was there all along and then ran away, Kent changed his mind altogether. He no longer needed his mate. He had made it this far in life without him, and he could do so the rest of his life.

  “I won’t forget what you are to me, Kent.”

  “Then I’m afraid you’re only going to make this hard on yourself. I don’t want you as a mate, Tobias. You are just my dad’s best friend and the never-present uncle figure that’s fun to hang out with if and when he actually shows up.”

  Saying the words out loud didn’t make them true. Kent had to look away from Toby as he spoke or he wouldn’t have been able to complete the sentences.

  “Fine. Say whatever you want, but I know differently. It’s only a matter of time before I will have you claimed and in my bed each night.”

  Tobias stormed from the room, knocking over a chair in his haste. Kent replaced the chair on its footing and set to work on the press release. He had to stop and clear his mind repeatedly of what had happened on the desk only to finally realize he had written two lines. Once he reread them, he admitted they were shit and deleted them.

  Kent had spoken cruelly to Tobias because he knew Toby wanted an easy mating. He wanted simple and uncomplicated, and their mating had been anything but from the start. Tobias left before, and he would leave again. What Toby said at the door was what Kent had always wanted in a mating, but he was too angry with Toby to confess that out loud.

  “Maybe I should start on the security list first.”

  Kent pulled the paper out and flipped through it again. He searched through the desk and retrieved a preserve map. With his newly acquired computer access, he printed out a list of approved pack members that he could assign to do security detail. Within the span of two hours he had the preserve lands and buildings delegated and was set to make copies of the security list to give to each person.

  With the papers in tow, Kent stepped into the hall. As the door shut behind him, it caused a draft that shuffled a paper across the tiled floor. Kent stooped to pick it up. Without even opening it, he knew it was from Tobias as his mate’s scent overpowered his system as he brought it closer to his nose.

  The note read Prepare to be hunted.

  Outwardly, Kent groaned. He didn’t have time to fend off Tobias’s unwanted advances. But inwardly, this is what he always wanted. His mate was coming to get him. Could Toby prove that he wasn’t going to leave again?

  No, he can’t. Kent crumpled the paper in his hand and shoved it into his pocket. He marched with new determination toward Ben’s office. He stood inside the open door and waited for Ben to motion him further.

  Ben looked up from his papers and gestured with his head for Kent to enter.

  “Tell me you have some good news.”

  Kent dropped into the chair in front of Ben’s desk. “It’s not news really, but I have the security checklist done. I hope.” Kent handed the list across the table to Ben. “This is a list of the people who can work on the project. I divided the preserve up into sections of similar, well, not really size. More like amount of things to check.” Ben nodded his understanding, so Kent continued. “I assigned people to each section and was about to make copies of the checklists to give to each person.”

  Ben handed the list of people back. “Yeah, this is no good. The division of the preserve buildings and stuff is fine, but half those people are already doing tasks for me or are in the ranger stations.” Kent looked at the list and made no attempt to school his disgust over the situation. “You’ll have to cross reference that list with the one in security. They have a list of all the people out in the stations. Do that and get back to me.”

  Kent stood and turned to leave.

  “Oh, and don’t forget about that press release. I want it ASAP, and then I have some other items for you to handle.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Kent trudged from the office. Once in the hall and far enough that Ben couldn’t hear him, Kent let fly a string containing every expletive he knew. Kent made to kick the wall but stopped just short. Only the thought of it leaving a dent had him reconsidering. He spun and started walking toward his small office, and the jerking motions sent the papers scattering throughout the hall.

  Dropping to his knees, Kent began to pick up the mess.

  “Here. Let me help.”

  Kent tried to suppress the shudder that raced through his body when Toby’s voice washed over him. Eight years of lusting couldn’t be squelched in mere days. Add that to the scent Toby projected and the body heat from his proximity, and Kent managed to pick up exactly two sheets of paper while Toby gathered the rest.

  Toby stood, papers in hand, and waited for Kent. Why can’t he just go away? Slowly, Kent rose to his feet once more. He reached for the papers Toby held close to his body only to have them yanked from his grasp. “This isn’t some game like we played when I was a child.” He spoke with such venom he practically hissed.

  “I wanted to carry them for you. Where are you headed?”

  “I don’t need you to carry them. I can manage just fine on my own. Thank you.”

  Toby shook his head. “You’re not going to let it drop, are you? You don’t want me. Fine. I heard you earlier. This time I was only being helpful.” Toby leaned into Kent until his mouth hovered near Kent’s ear. As he spoke his breath fanned across Kent’s skin, raising goose pimples. “I do plan on hunting you until I have you. You’ll know when I actually come onto you because your breath will catch, your heart will race, and your palms will sweat.”

  Toby placed his free hand on Kent’s chest. Ke
nt’s heart pounded against his rib cage trying to free itself. Desperately, Kent held his breath and prayed Toby didn’t touch his sweat-damped hands.

  “Your heart is pounding, Kent. Anything else I should know?” Toby’s glare leered over his body as if he could touch him with it.

  “No,” he whispered. Kent was thankful for the little miracle that an actual word came out instead of a squeak. With his mate in such close proximity, his lustful body betrayed his angry mind.

  “Mmm.” Toby sniffed along Kent’s neck. Kent’s body hummed under Toby’s scrutiny. “God, that scent.”

  Kent tried to reign in his wayward fingers as they wanted to tangle in the fabric of Toby’s shirt. With all his focus trying to control his hands, he let a whine escape.

  “There is nothing in the world like the smell of you, mate.”

  “Nothing? Not even the freedom you had in Colorado?” Kent pinned his gaze on Toby’s.

  “Never assume I was happy in Colorado. I hated it there. I was alone. My friends and my family were here. Everything I wanted was here.”

  Kent was tired of hearing the same story over and over. “Then you should have been here, too!” He stomped his foot and pointed at the ground near him.

  Toby opened his mouth and drew in a breath. Kent readied himself for the shouting, but it never came. He watched as Toby shook his head and slowly closed his eyes. Did his lip tremble? When Toby opened his eyes, they shined with unshed tears. He thrust the gathered papers at Kent.

  “Here.”

  Kent was surprised by the action and fumbled them in his grasp, barely keeping them from falling to the ground again. Once the papers were clutched against Kent’s body, Toby turned and walked away. A few feet down the hall, he looked back but said nothing. His shoulders sagged.

  Kent didn’t understand why Toby left, why he wouldn’t stand and fight with him. He found himself chasing down the hall after Toby. When he rounded the corner he expected to see Toby somewhere, but he was gone. Kent scented the air, but Toby’s scent was masked with all the others who had come and gone by the front desk.